The Chaser Report - America Invades America To Save America From America

Episode Date: June 10, 2025

Dom and Charles make some bold hyperbolic predictions about the outcome of the Los Angeles riots/invasion. Then, once they realise that all their exaggerated ideas are far more likely than first assumed, they double down make even more big calls. ---Follow us on Instagram: @chaserwarSpam Dom's socials: @dom_knightSend Charles voicemails: @charlesfirthEmail us: [e-mail] our caviar addiction: https://chaser.com.au/support/ Send complaints to: [e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Chaser Report is recorded on Gatigal Land. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chaser Report. Hello, and welcome to The Chaser Report with Dom and Charles. Hello, Charles. I'm not sure what to talk about today. I've opened the news app here. It's just... Ah, nothing on.

Admin. I mean, there's a story about long jump. What have I got from the City Morning Herald here? Boring. Yeah, more on the Death Cap Mushroom thing. No, that's just, let's just skip to the end of the story, you know. It's been, do we really have to have every gory detailer? There's soccer.

There was a car crash last night in Sydney where a cat sort of almost could sense the car crash and leapt out of the way before there's footage of it. How is that not on the Sydney Morning Herald website? I don't understand what's going on. Oh, I know. I'll go to news.com.com. That always has plenty of news. Let's just play some ads while I get the...

Wait a minute. I think that there might be some paparole. see pictures of Jennifer Lawrence out. Maybe we could talk about that. Hold the brain, yeah, absolutely. I don't know what we're going to talk about. We'll just have to, we'll work it out while we have some ads. Thank you for your patience.

Your call is important. Can't take being on hold anymore? FIS is 100% online so you can make the switch in minutes. Mobile plans start at $15 a month. Certain conditions apply. Details at fizz.com. Um, there's something, yeah, did you, I didn't, I, I, yeah, there's something going odd in California.

Yes, there is. Um, I think that might, this might be the beginning of the end. The word, coup, or crisis or disaster, those words are overused, don't they? Well, not anymore. No, I think Donald Trump is saying that it would be good if Gavin Newsom, the governor of California, was arrested. He's dispatched the Marines now to Los Angeles. 4,000 Marines, apparently.

And apparently photos of the troops have been, this is what news.com. That are you? It's big enough news to actually be the top story on news.com. Which is, they don't usually put news on news.com. But yeah, they've apparently released footage to embarrass Donald Trump of troops on the streets of Los Angeles doing the wrong thing. So I feel like, Dom, I predicted all this. Oh, did you?

Yes. You always think that. Is there any evidence that this is true in this case? No, I think about a year ago, maybe. I'm sure we had a podcast episode where I was talking about how it sort of got to the point where it's sort of inevitable that United States of America will become not united anymore. Like that essentially is the end of the constitutional republic that has existed for the last 250 years. So you're calling the end of the United States as of now.

The states are no longer united. Well, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, isn't it? Like, literally that's what's going on. Like, it's sort of, like, this is the beginning of the sort of, let's take over democratically elected states and federalized powers. Like, like, literally what's happened in the last 48 hours is they've invaded California using federal military troops. Like, if it happened in any other country in the world, you'd just be going, oh, right, the federal government is using their military against their own citizens, right? That is the definition of a sort of military junta style.

It's not the definition of a democratic republic, which is what America says that it is on the box. Charles, I mean, to be fair, you know, it might be a thriving democracy like Burma. Yeah, exactly. With the troops coming down, especially designed wide rights. Although that said, if the tanks do roll into Los Angeles, it would take them a very, very long time to get through on the freeways. Yes, the thing of all the traffic jams. for the tanks. Yeah, to take days.

Yeah. I think what are. Incredibly effective. They banked up with tanks. Of stopping a tank incursion into Los Angeles. They have to use their GPS and take sort of rat routes around all the side streets. And, you know, presumably at some point, you know, the tanks would miss their turn off and have to drive an extra 20 miles. I always do that.

I'm not with Los Angeles. That's right. So that could be a very slow-paced invasion. But no, it's true. But imagine that road rage from a tank driver. But that would be next level. Yeah. That would not.

be pretty yeah. Does he have a gun? No, he's got a fucking cannon. Yes. And it's even hotter than it was when the wildfires came out. So if there's tank artillery, the whole thing will burn again. We're being very blasé about this. Anyway, no, it's true that if in many other countries, if you sent federal troops onto the streets of a sort of state, it would be seen as some sort of, I mean, the word civil war gets bandied about Charles. Yes, but getting back to why I'm right, I'm sure about six months ago, I'd said, like, the way it will happen is it will actually have to, by necessity, it will actually end up being the Democrats who end up being the people who sort of break with

the constitution in a order, right? Because what's going to happen is the Republicans are going to use the law and the legal system and the constitutionality against the state. So it'll end up being the democratic states going, no, we don't want your fucking federal rule, you know, asserting sort of your fascist authoritarian. government. And I think that that's what's happening here. Like, because it's quite, like, at some level, you're going, who has the formal legal power to act in this situation? I love. We'd have to say, probably Donald Trump does, at least on paper. Like, he's got the

courts, the Supreme Court behind him. He's got all these, the Insurrection Act, which is something that Project 2025 talked about. He's got a whole lot of troops that he can sort of move in there. And it's all above board from his perspective. I love the way that your mind works at times like this, Charles. Like, this is sort of peak Charles with all these fireworks going off in your head and all these different connections going on and all the sort of legalistic angles of this. Charles, what might happen in a situation like this is clearly the federal troops are on the streets. The National Guard has already been deployed.

That's supposed to be the job of the Governor of California, who's the commander-in-chief with the National Guard, Gavin Newsom. He's potentially going to get arrested by end of day, depending on what Trump says. Yes. Sometimes in a case like this, an overseas... power might be involved. You might get a, you might get, I don't know, troops from Mexico coming up. The wall hasn't been built.

Yes. To protect California. Is that something that we could see happen? So Gavin Newsom. Is Mexico coming in on the side? Makes an alliance with the Mexicans against the Americans. If there are any Mexican citizens residing in Los Angeles at the moment, they could perhaps form a militia of sorts to assist.

And does that then mean that Australia, under its treaty obligations with the United States? U.S. is forced to fight against the California? Yes, I think so. Yeah, right. Yeah. Yes, under the Anzis Alliance, New Zealand. New Zealand? Yes, New Zealand. Yes, Zealand would be. Well, Jacinda Arden's already there in the United States, so she's ready to go. Yeah. She was on Colbert.

But it just seems surreal that we're at this point. But it's not... Mind you, I think that this would be... Because California doesn't really have an oil industry, does it? This would be the first time they've invaded a state, but not for the oil. Yes, it does, doesn't it? Isn't there oil in California? Oh, is there oil in the whole thing? Oh, yeah, there's oil wells. That's sort of oil derricks around the place.

Yeah, they probably have rent-dra. Yeah, they're right. No, there is, there are oil derricks, even in... They've got a lot of windmills. Yeah. I've got a hell of a lot of windmills. Anyway, but this isn't that much of a common exaggeration. This is the sort of point of this episode, perhaps, is that all of this high-faluton talk

of constitutions and revolutions and coups and independence movements, it's not that far exaggerated from where things actually are today. So this is a great game of geopolitical. risk, isn't it? Like, this is a game of risk. Like, who is going to line up with the Californians? Who's going to line up with the US? I think this is what we should be talking about. So, Canada, I think that's going to be Californians, isn't it, right? They're going to line up with Californians against the US, aren't they? Canada. Oh, absolutely. Yeah, yeah. So that's quite a good So the Mounties will come down. The Mounties will come down. Through Oregon. I mean, first they take

Oregon. It is good that this is being done in Hollywood, because this is a terrific thing to film. You know what I mean? Like the Mexicans come up with their sombreros on and the mounties come on with the, you know, red jackets and their horses. Like, it's going to be quite visual. It's going to be very cinematic. Yeah, I hope they've got the IMAX cameras out for this one. Yeah, well, they've got everything spare, yeah. And I mean, it looks terrific.

Like some of those streetscapes are just perfect. And it looks like a movie because it's in the place where movies are shot. It's in Hollywood. It's where dreams are made only of this is real. Let's take some ads and think of some more ridiculous, um, logical extensions to this real thing. It's going to happen. Thank you for your patience. Your call is important.

Can't take being on hold anymore? FIS is 100% online, so you can make the switch in minutes. Mobile plans start at $15 a month. Certain conditions apply. Details at FIS.ca. The Chaser Report, now with extra whispers. Okay, so the big question, the tactical question at this point, and this could be the determining factor child.

Yeah. is what does Silicon Valley do? Because in recent times, we've seen all the tech barons closing up with Donald Trump there at the administration and so on. But he's just lost Elon. My question is, where's Google in all this? Because you know what they have that no one else has, particularly Elon Musk doesn't have.

They've got an ad search monopoly. There is that. They could take Donald Trump down by Google ad search. No, what they have, and I read an article about this the other day, is they have the only really good fleet of self-driving cars in the world, the Waymo. And the Waymo... Oh, yes. We saw them in LA.

The Waymo's are phenomenally successful. There are hundreds of thousands of rides done in a Waymo every week. They're enormously effective. But Charles, could they not also be autonomous... Autonomous drones. Tanks in a way. You send a real tank down. Yes.

But I mean, there's hundreds of Waymoes that could just zoom down the freeways to defend California. If Google is on the side of California... The problem is that Waymo's are not, the underlying cars are not Tesla's. They're actually, like, I think made by General Motors or something. Yeah, yeah. Which means that they don't spontaneously explode. Oh, okay. Right.

What would be far more effective is an autonomous Tesla. Right. And then it would just explode randomly. And, I mean, that's the way to sort of win the wall. I mean, Elon's got a lot of unsold Teslers. Yes, all the cyber trucks. If only autonomous self-driving work, than a Tesla. Yes.

And if only the cyber trucks actually were built like tanks rather than like flimsy tanks. I mean, you joke about that, Charles. But in fact, one of the problems with the cyber truck, one of the reasons why it isn't in Australia and certainly why it's not in Europe, have you seen this? I am. Is that the small detail that's the problem with the cyber truck is that most vehicles have crumple zones, right? If there's a problem, if there's a collision, there's a big crumple zone and it protects the pedestrian. Cybertrucks do not crumple.

Oh, cyber trucks destroy. So it actually could be very effective tanks. Yes. Because it's all stainless steel. Yes. It's very strong. Okay. I feel like there's a lot going for the United States.

Just, you know, they are a military superpower. They have nuclear power. Nuclear. So what happens there? Like, do you reckon would the Californian people in the military, in the federal military, hand over the nukes to the California? It's probably not. I don't know.

So it's a one-way street. So it's a bit. Like Ukraine versus Russia, isn't it? Well, what California should do first before they do anything else, if this is going to come to a war? They should take Nevada. They should take Nevada. And they should take more specifically the Trump International Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas. And that could become like the base of operations.

That could be a hostage. So I don't think, I don't know that if you had any people, Donald Trump would be upset. But if you've got a hotel casino hostage. You can take our daughters. You can take our sons. But you can never take our. integrated resorts. Yeah, that's right. So that's one bargaining chip that could be used. It's almost so close to reality now that this might almost be in bad taste. But it's not

yet because hostilities haven't actually broken out. Oh, you reckon it's actually going to go that far? Oh, like, at the point where's going to arrest the governor. Can I just say, the problem is, Dom, that like, if the US military wants to take over California, it just can, right? Like, It's all very heroic having a whole lot of people throw stones and stuff like that at, you know, armored personnel carriers or, you know, like these little mini tanks that the LAPD have rolled out. But actually, when you get to the point where a military decides to invade somewhere, the US military is just going to fucking cream the people of their own citizens, Charles, but there's been such a long tradition of, to be genuine about this,

people power revolt in places like the Philippines on multiple. times. You've seen millions of people are taken to the street, and the big question is will the military actually attack them or not? But the problem with Los Angeles thinking to the next step is that it's a driving culture. There aren't really streets to take to. There's not

pedestrianized at all. So, would the Angeloanos take to their cars? It would be the first protest done entirely in vehicles. Commuter cars. Yeah, they just basically clog all the streets. Yes. And that actually holds signs out the side. Hold signs out the window. Yeah. And honked their horns. Yes. They're very good at that.

I mean, so that could be a new form of protest. I don't know. What's going to happen? So you reckon what will happen is there'll be absolutely mass. We're talking general strike level sort of people protest. Essentially, most Los Angeles will come out onto the street. And then the military will be two chicken shit, let's call it. You know, Tarko, Trump always chickens out.

Yeah, he does. To actually shoot on their own civilians. Yep. I reckon the US military are cunts. and that actually what will happen is they'll start shooting them. And that's like, just like in China, it works, right? So you're calling the full Tiananmen. Yeah, I'm calling the full Tiananmen the shoot one, educate a thousand philosophy that Mao pioneered.

Very political power comes out of the barrel of a gun. Yeah, that's right. And it wouldn't take that many, especially if it was say Gavin Newsom, he could be the first victim. But hang on, but California has all the social media companies. I mean, that's another form of power as well. Political power comes out of the ownership of a social media network now. Where are the servers, for instance, for truth social? Are they located in California?

Are they with AWS? What's going on? It could be more complicated than that. What if Donald Trump suddenly can't post anymore? Well, that's his lifeblood, isn't it? So this could be more complicated. If he can't post on truth social. I mean, does he even exist at that point, philosophically speaking?

No, exactly. Oh, well, yeah, no, I hadn't even considered that. But although I must say, I do think that the tech bros are going to end up folding in with. Oh, you think? Because I think this is partly inspired by that sort of Peter Till authoritarian, anti-democratic side of Silicon Valley. Like, Petitiel, ex-founder of Facebook, like I feel like Facebook, Petitil, Facebook, you know, board member, you know, like. Well, is anyone on Facebook saying, I've marked myself safe in the ongoing LA coup? Yes, exactly.

That's what Facebook's going to do, right? But Charles, don't you think that it's possible that these social media companies will rise up and protect their staff? I mean, their staff are all California. Thousands of employees living in California, their livelihoods are there? They're definitely not going to do that, are they? You know, and also, they've just sacked their staff last week. Remember the Silicon Valley's, like, it's all been replaced by AI. Well, what about Apple?

This is such a plot line to Terminator, isn't it? Tim Apple and first they sacked everyone and then they shot them. They don't need them anymore. They can shoot them. This is the point where I'm just sad. I'm sorry. This is the point where we've been building all these highfalutin scenarios, but I'm just sad that this is, I like California.

Yeah. It was good. Well, I was there a few months ago. You were there a lot of times. I mean, these are potential audiences for Wankanomics, the US version. I know. That's my dream dashed. I wanted to tour with Wankanomics in 2026 in the US.

But I don't think that would even be appropriate. No. It'd be like entertaining the troops. That's what it would be. It'd be like going to the US. troops and entertaining them. I do want to talk, I do want to talk about Australia's reaction to this because I think there is a huge risk that Australia, you know, with flim-flam elbow, comes down on the absolutely wrong side of history on this one. But isn't it likely that our position

will be to do nothing much? Well, isn't the whole point that, you know, in the face of authoritarianism doing nothing, is being complicit? I don't know. What does the authoritarian think? I think I want to go along with that. I mean, yeah, I welcome our authoritarian overlords. Just let me know who the overlords are and we'll just play ball. But I mean, what can Australia do? I mean, unless we threaten to pull, you know, Margo Robbie, I was going to say, for future movies in Hollywood.

Yeah, if you can't have Australian starlets. Sarah Snoot. Yeah, Sarah Snoke coming home. The Hemsworths. If there were no Hemsworths, how does Hollywood even survive at that point? We've actually got the power, don't I mean. It's soft power. I mean, I think this is the whole thing that Trump just hasn't gamed.

Yeah. He hasn't fasted in the Hemsworth Industrial Complex. Yeah. I think this might actually save democracy. So you think Australia could come in and actually be the honest broker here? Yes. I think that it's incumbent. And we can turn to the ambassador to America.

Kevin Rudd. Kevin Rudd. Finally. We'll save the world, really. Save democracy. Kevin Rudd walks into the meeting. Okay, guys. And they all just follow.

because they don't want to name to talk anymore. We're part of the Iconiclass Network. Extremely unreliable coverage of news as it happens. I'm still just sad. I'm sad. Thank you for your patience. Your call is important.

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