The Chaser Report - Announcing The Next RBA Governor

Episode Date: July 12, 2023

Will Phillip Lowe maintain his position, or will he be succeeded by a new challenger? Our bet is on Kochie. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Chaser Report is recorded on Gatigal Land. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chaser Report. Hello, and welcome to The Chaser Report with Dom and Charles. Hello, big news out of the Reserve Bank today. Oh, God, the Reserve, of all the topics. We want to be able to listen to this because it's exciting and topical. But it is a big news story. Okay, what's the Reserve Bank done?

It's a shake-up, Dom. It's a shaker. Oh, God, if they've gotten rid of Philip Lowe. No, of course they're not going to be rid of Philip Lowe. There's nothing to do with Philip Lowe. Has he publicly expressed a desire to remain longer in the office? Yes. And in actual fact, the government have announced just this morning that he's actually on the shortlist

to keep going in the job after October when everyone else assumed that he was about to be sacked. And they had to do that to string it out to make it more painful for him, didn't he? Oh, okay. Okay, so stay tuned for an edition of the show about the Reserve Bank. This is going to get record ratings.

After these messages. You still here? What the fuck is wrong with you? Anyway, Charles, what's happened? So the shake-up is basically, as you may or may not know, Philip Lowe has had a long string of isolated incidences that all happened to be a complete catastrophe in terms of managing the economy. Yeah. He's got one job, which has set interest rates, and he's been monumentally unable to do the one thing that he's supposed to do, which is predict the movement of interest rates. Correction, the Reserve Bank board,

said it's interest rates. So he may be paid 900 grand a year, I think we said. But he doesn't do that job alone. No, no. He doesn't make decisions on the interest rate. It's a board of people who does. So I don't quite know what the point of him having a full-time job is. Couldn't he just rock up once every month?

Do you think that that's where they got the word board from? I'm bored. You know, like they looked at the Reserve Bank board, and they looked at them and they went, oh, everyone's bored. And they went, oh, that's what board means. That's the kind of quality satire that's kept the chaser at the forefront of news in Australia for 24 years. There's not a huge number of comedy angles on this, okay? So Philip Lowe.

There was a period in a chaser's life when Chris Taylor every week or two would submit a script based on the observation that Bernie Fraser, former Reserve Bank Governor, had a very boring voice. True and yet not a hugely relatable point. Anyway, Philip Lowe, I think most Australians hate Philip Lowe at this point. Oh, definitely. But, Dom, I need to correct you there, because they didn't meet once a month. They met 11 times a year. Well, you didn't expect it to meet you over Christmas.

It's a silly season. They're only on a 900 grand a year. So, you know, what, you know, you can't be expected to get out of bed if you're only on 900K. And if I recall, Charles, when it's November, their meeting's always in Melbourne or Melbourne Cup Day. That's what they did. Just as a...

What a coincidence. At Flemington, presumably. Because why not Campbell on horses and the Australian economy at the same point? Anyway, what they've done is, they've done a wholesale review. So to sort of deflect attention away from Philip Lowe's monumental missteps and incredibly ill-thought-out public statements. Statements such as, you know, it simply won't.

Yeah, they're not going to go up. They're not going to rise in the next three years or so. Because I can predict every aspect of the global economy in the next three years, including COVID. Yeah. To deflect attention away from that, done a couple of things. They've had that disastrous $500 million renovation of their offices. Oh, my goodness.

which has gone way over budget and I think it's put them in deficit for the first time ever. But then the other thing that they've done is they've done a shake-up. They've done a shake-up. Oh, thank goodness. So they're just going to get rid of the Reserve Bank, are they?

No, no. It's like getting like the Groundhog from Groundhog Day to just come out and say whether interest rates are going to go up or down. With the same degree of accuracy, might I point out, as Dr. Philip fucking low has achieved in the past few years. What they're going to do is they're going to work

a little less hard Because that's, that's, the main result is they've gone 11 times a year, that's a lot of meetings. Why don't we make it eight? You're not serious. That is honestly true. That's the main result. The thing that was needed to fix the reserve banks oversight of the Australian economy is less oversight of the Australian economy. That is their best idea.

Well, in fairness, Dom, they have been doing such a bad job that less probably is more. What about none? What about no meetings at all? They can't do anything about, oh my God, is that seriously what? Eight meetings rather than 11 because, oh, I was just getting too onerous. But getting together once a month. So when are the eight meetings? Are they spaced out or is it like every six weeks or something?

Yeah, once every six weeks or something. Oh, for fuck so. I'm sure that it'll still be on the Melbourne Cup day. I'm sure that's still locked in. But I think the other interesting aspect of making it only eight times a year is, You know, because you might think from a populist perspective, you know, that's very, you know, lazy. I mean, it doesn't seem like a good, you know, development. It's sort of indolent.

But on the plus side, it is true that, you know how they always hold, you know, $25,000 lunches with the top end of town after they've jacked up interest rates for struggling mortgage holders. Well, I mean, the banks, every time they put interest rates up, the banks make lots of money because they wait a while to pass it on. Yeah. So, yeah. It's like a tip. Yeah. It's just a circular economy.

Yeah, that's right. That's what it is. So they go out, I mean, literally, a couple of months ago, his scandal, he was in Perth, and Philip Lowe went out to a $25,000 lunch straight after the board meeting. I mean, I hope he didn't pay for himself, because he only gets $900,000 a year.

Yeah, that would be a huge whack. But if you think about it, that means that he'll be limited to just eight $25,000 lunches put on by the pig end of town. No, but hasn't he got more spare days to go on lunches? Because if he has off-board meeting lunches, which I presume he does on the other days, yes. There'll be fewer, you know, responsibilities.

Now, Charles, this is the point in the podcast where I have to acknowledge the elephant in the room. Oh, is there another elephant? It's Philip Lowe. Oh, right. He wants a job. No, which is that my grandfather had that job. Oh, yes. That's right.

At a time of very little controversy, I'd never read anything bad about his job. But he was there during the dismissal, which had quite a lot to do with. The banking side of things. He was reappointed by Whitlam, having originally been appointed by the Liberals. So I don't know what the deal was, but I just have to mention that because he seemed to do the job without being hated by all of Australia. There were different times. Yes. And yet, his grandson, was it your uncle or your...

No, my grandfather. Yeah, your grandfather. His grandson has managed to be largely hated by Australian society. No, they don't know me. I'm too obscure to be to achieve that. But they did know you, Dom. I'm confident they would hate you. Look, I can say that I'm fairly sure he was not a massive fan at The Chaser,

particularly at the time when we were making fun of his very close friend, John Howard. Anyway, let's move on. We've talked about your severity, who's a superstar. My grandfather was also a superstar within the very dull world of central banking. Why are we related to people so much more successful than ourselves? I don't know. I mean, I've had a more fun career than he has, I think. But being a central banker, yeah, he also hated gambling,

so I don't know what the Melbourne Cup thing was all about. He was involved in jacking up interest rates, and you're involved in jacking up interest in comedy rates. Some might say the opposite. Anyway, all right, I had to acknowledge it because it's weird to talk about, like if your grandfather had been, I don't know, the Archbishop of, let's say, Canberra, and we're talking about archbishops, it'll be weird for you not to acknowledge that. So you know what I reckon the solution is?

Charles's grandfather was that. Obviously, Jim Chalmers has a tough decision to make. Does he? Do I reappoint the most hated man in Australia to the plum job that runs the economy? I don't know that that's going to be a tough show. I think Jim Chalmers is going to manage to make that decision because if he reappoints Philip Lowe,

he will become the most hated man in Australia. But did you see the short list of the other people who are on the list? Is there actually a short list? Well, the Herald today, the nine newspapers have come out with what they reckon are definite maybies of who is in the running. How high up the list is Koshy? Well, Koshy's number one, obviously. Um, uh, but I don't think you'll get it. I think he's retired. He can't get it. He's old. Isn't that why he left sunrise? Yeah. And yeah, well, that's the speculation. But if you look at the list. No, he's on the real list. Please tell me

gosh, he's not actually on the list to run Australia's economy. And with all due respect, which is not an enormous amount. Well, the thing is, the list is full of people. I've ever heard of, right? Like, they're just... Well, that's a plus, isn't it? There's just... No one had heard of Philip Lowe until he started fucking everything up.

They're essentially senior public servants. They're just, you know, the department secretary and stuff like that. I mean, I'm just trying to find the names. It's the very long tradition of reserve bank that the deputy governor gets made the governor. That was what happened in my grandfather's day. And then after that, it's really not very... It's also a total boys club. So I'm going to...

Well, I think it'll be a woman. Yeah, I'm going to call it out. It's going to be a woman. Just because, you know, about time, and it won't be Philip Lowe, because also about time. Back then, they went for seven years and then they fucked off. They didn't hang around for three more. This is the thing.

So there's a seven-year term, and then it's become traditional to appoint them for an extra three years. No, seven's enough. Oh, yeah, especially if you're shit. It's not like you've done anything much. So the potential candidates, well, there's one in which is Stephen Kennedy, who's the Treasury Secretary, you know, from the Morrison government. I like that we are going to do the list.

Keep listening, it gets better. No, but I'm just saying, Jenny Wilkinson. Well, that's a plus female. Who is the first female head of an economic agency, which is the Parliamentary Budget Office. Oh, yeah. And maybe her husband, David Gruen, who's the head of the Australian Bureau of Statistics,

is also considered to be in the running. I want to get to know that couple and get invited to dinner parties at their place. Yeah. That sounds like a riot. But the funny thing is, imagine that. Because you're talking about interest rights. That's a conflict of interest rates.

Hey! Yeah. According to this, there's only one woman in the running. So I'm willing to lock it in. Is there someone else from within the Reserve Bank? Michelle Bullock, who's the Deputy Governor. Okay, so it'll be Michelle Bullock. Except that you'd think that a new room mightn't be a bad idea at this point,

given that, you know, the Reserve Bank is hated. I've got an idea for who should be appointed. Oh, yeah. Because I don't think any senior public servants, especially after the Robo Debt Inquiry, have any sort of, you know, like nobody trusts them anymore. You just think they're a bunch of self-dealing crooks, basically. Yeah, based on observation. Yeah, based on absorption.

So I reckon they should outsource the job of RBA governor to some sort of consultancy. Oh, of course. And there's an obvious choice. Yes. There's one consulting firm. Yes. So you can absolutely guarantee for the next seven years of the next RBA governor's turn. are not going to be corrupt.

And that consulting firm is PWC. Exactly. There's not a chance. No way. They wouldn't risk it. They wouldn't do it twice. They've almost destroyed their entire business. Yes.

But the good thing is, I've got some mates at PWC. Oh, nice. I reckon that, you know, if they had a heads up on what the way the interest rates were going to go. Oh, shit, yeah. We could just give us a little bit of a bit of a... Well, you know what? I've struggled with my grandfather's legacy in my entire life. So, do you reckon I could, like, obviously, the bar is pretty,

like, could I become a PWC partner? Yes. In time to be named Reserve Bank Governor? Pretty sure that except you. Yeah. I mean, they rejected Scott Morrison. Yeah, I know. I know.

But they offered Ben Robert Smith a job. Speaking of which, can we just put a pin in the fact that he's appealing? Yes. Just, that's a whole episode's worth. The ground of his appeal are fascinating. We'll get to that in the next couple of days. The Chaser Report. News you can't trust.

Yeah, that's a very good idea. Well, you know who I'd pick as Reserve Bank Governor. Oh, who would you think as Reserve Bank? The barefoot investor, Scott Pape. The Australia's most trusted financial guru. Oh, really? The barefoot investor. Yes, of course.

He would just tell everyone to get an I-N-G account and put their savings in it. That would be much more practical advice than the Reserve Bank Governor's ever given anybody. What about Joel Gibson from one big switch? Yeah, Money Maven Joel Gibson. I've interviewed him a bunch of times. We should have him on the podcast. Well, he used to write for the Chaser, didn't he? He used to be temporary editor with the Chaser.

His work in Saturday has dropped off. But he... But he's always for the consumer. He's another trusted, you know, consumer advocate. Yeah, yeah. He's full of homespun tips on cheaper insurance. I mean, Joel, Joel is a funny guy. Like, this is a thing you don't get from his media.

He's actually a very witty man. I don't know how he got into this particular alley of enormous success. What about? Hughesy. Dave Hughesy. Because, see, he always has opinions on everything. Well, he does. He also, remember that time he bought the block house without consulting his wife?

So he knows what it's like to fuck up your house. in a way that most very rich, successful people don't know. Yeah. What about somebody who isn't involved in the Australian property market so that there's no conflict of interest? Like me. Well, yes, exactly. Somebody who rents.

Yeah, a renter. Get a renter in you. Yeah. Get Max Chandler Mather. Or you. Oh, yeah. What if, I think Alex Carey. I think Alex Carey has the kind of hoodspar, thinking outside the box.

Yes. But we want someone who's not going to completely break the rules, but basically fuck people over. Yeah. In a fairly major way. I'm fully Team Kerry. He did what he had to do. We want someone who's going to basically run out the boomers.

That's what I want. Someone is going to throw down the wicked of all the fucking boomer property owners in this country. That's what I'm after. Well, what about, yeah, okay. We haven't named any women, by the way. Yeah, we're going to be, well, Elise Perry. She could do it. She can do anything.

She's an Australian soccer representative and cricket representative. If you're talking about anyone, somebody who can do anything, absolutely. anything. Ash Barty is your woman. Ash Barty should be the next Reserve Bank Governor. Imagine how popular that would be. Well, she's just had a kid. Yes. Which means she understands the pain felt by most Australian

parents of young children. I think it would be fantastic. But also, it means that she would be wanting to have an excuse to get away from the kid. Oh yeah, that's true actually. And it's only eight fucking meetings a year. Ash could do it with her, I suppose. It actually suits somebody

on part-time work who wants It's a sort of, it's like a sort of two day a week job. Not even that. You know someone, you know someone who's a very hard worker with a point to prove? I am. Gladys Brederickley and she really has a point. She really, like, if you take the argument that she didn't make any money out of Daryl and just had all that reputational chaos and, yes.

I look, I mean, it was called corruption by ICA, because it really corruption, the body that calls things corruption says that it was. But anyway, she disputed. She would be on her best behavior, wouldn't she have given her? have the chance. Have you put Gladys in there? Wouldn't she just tell her partner? Her new partner.

Yeah. Whoever, you know, the information. Like, yeah. And then go, oh, it's just a love stroke. Oh, I lost my heart. I wanted to marry that person. I don't know. Yeah, okay.

Maybe she'll just work for P.W.C. Well, actually, she and Ash Barty have one thing in common. Yeah. They work for optus. They both work for optus, which is, I must say, even Gladys, who I must You know, there's our ethical problem with Gladys, clearly. Oh, yeah, yeah. But she's still one of the most positive things you can say about Optus.

I mean, as an Optus customer, the Gladys works there. What it tells me is that some of the time, it's quite competent. I mean, maybe you do want someone from Optus running the Reserve Bank. Oh, yeah. Because then, you know, they'd make it as you can put up interest trades. But no one would find out about it. It wouldn't happen. Because it wouldn't happen because they'd be so incompetent.

And it just, you know, they wouldn't be able to make it happen. Also, the RBA prints money, you might recall. And the RBA governor signs the banknotes. So giving Gladys control the money supply, I should reckon you get Darrell back. Hurricane Darrell had come crawling back. Well, I think then the main criteria, though, based on signing the money, you want someone with a really cool signature.

That's true. It should be an artist. It should be, well, your brother's an artist. Does he have a cool signature? No. Or an architect. Fairly. An architect.

You know how architects have the best. Really good. My sister-in-law would be good. She's handwriting. Yeah. Well, my grandfather's signature was pretty cool. I don't know. It was much better than mine.

What about Ken Dohn? Is he still around? Oh, yes. He could design the notes as well. Actually, it's surprising, given how technical color and gross they are, it's surprising he hasn't done it before. He hasn't done it. Yeah. What a lot of good ideas we've had.

Well, Charles, I feel like we've managed to string out a whole episode on the Reserve Bank, which I found more enjoyable than I was expecting. So there you go. If I was Philip Lowe, I'd just have to say, and I mean this in the most supportive way possibly, I'd be getting my CV ready and perhaps making a few inquiries. I wouldn't be relying on the thought of being reappointed. Well, actually, Dom, I've got a little bit of news, a bit of an announcement. Oh, really?

Which is I'm very proud to announce. And this is still just, it's still secret. Right, okay. Well, mentioning it on this podcast is a great way to stop information from circulating. Which is the new head of the chaser is going to be none other than Philip Lowe. Oh, wow. Yes. We brought him on.

He's only going to come in eight times a year. Yeah. But he's going to run the whole thing. I think that's good. I think he'll make such terrible decisions that it will be extremely funny. I think that's a great appointment. Yeah. I honestly couldn't think of anyone.

on better except possibly Koshy. Our gear is from Roe. We are part of the O'Connor Class Network. Go to you tomorrow. Yeah. Sorry, Grandpa. Love you.