The Chaser Report - ARVO: Emma Holland, Laptop Thief

Episode Date: March 15, 2022

Comedian Emma Holland joins Gabbi and Aleksa for an Arvo Chat. Emma talks about how she accidentally won a photography contest when she was six, and the trajectory that individual moment sent her life on. Emma also goes behind the scenes of her comedy show "Dreamer in the Mist" and how the show got this name. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chase of Report. Welcome back to Tuesday, the 15th of March, Chaser Report, special afternoon edition. We need to find a better way of saying it. I love it like this. I think that's perfect. I'm Gabby Bolt, joined by Alexa Woolwich, and our interviewee for this afternoon is Emma. Hi, Emma. Howdy? Hi.

Wait, wait, the Zoom says her name's Duncan Turner. Oh. I don't think we got the right person. Don't worry about it. This is my computer. I own it. I didn't take it from anyone. All right.

So Emma Holland, the comedian and potential thief, how's things going? Oh, so good. I am living my best life. I woke up so late and made breakfast at like 12 p.m.

I'm having the best time. Oh, you had like breakfast for lunch. I've heard about that. Oh, in a way. I think it's just laziness in some cultures. What'd you have for breakfast,

though? Well, for lunch breakfast. Pancakes. Pancakes. Stable. You can have pancakes any time a day. True. There's too much stigma around pancakes being a breakfast food.

Thank you for speaking up on this issue because I've been trying to for years. Yeah. It's been stigmatized for far too long. Yeah. Nice to have another voice. Nice to have another voice. Another voice.

Another voice. Nice to have another voice. Duncan. The Chaser Report. News you know you can't trust. So we're back from after a break and it's really funny because before the break we joked that Emma was a computer thief and then her computer died so now emma holland is joining us from a different zoom computer this one

my face i just think it had sentience i think it must have heard you and been like not this bitch see ya i just seemed she went out and just stole another computer oh true no her name i'm gonna be honest i got stressed and unplugged it they're onto me wouldn't be the first time the amount of times i wish i could do that on this podcast um so emma you're a comedian a writer a photographer and an artist You've appeared on have you been paying attention and you will run her up at Raw 2018. But I have a question, when you're a photographer, you take photos of other comedians, correct?

Yeah, yeah. So is it just comedian photography or do you just like specialise in that and do a lot of other photography as well? I like accidentally fell into it. So I was doing like a wide myriad of things but then because I was in comedy and I realized that comedians need headshots, I just kind of like wormed my way into that scene.

Brilliant. Do you find, like, do you, like, have you had any experiences where, like, you wanted to sabotage someone's headshot? Yes. Like, is there a comedian that you go, they were an asshole to me. Their photos are going to be shit focal length and... But that reflects badly on me. Yeah, I suppose that's true. And also could reflect really well on the comedian. If you see a photo when you laugh, then you're like, oh, well, I guess that's their job. Yeah, I suppose there is real no loss except to you. I get, oh, that was a dumb question. Sometimes I'll just photoshop their eyes just like a little bit apart. Nice. Nice. Nice. The perfect revenge. It could never be traced back to you either because sometimes I look at photos of myself

a bit too long. That's not what I look like. So from what I understand, you're quite a good photographer in that you've won competitions, but like it says you've won it by accident. I'm not quite sure how someone wins a photography competition by accident. Is this the one from when I was six years old? Oh, it is now. Go off. Yes, I was six and I was on summer school and we got I think in each a little Kodak camera. Oh. They said we were going to have a photography competition. And I don't really, I have no memory of what I was doing.

One of the photos I took just happened to be like really beautiful and emotive. Just let the gift. By accident, just naturally. Yeah. Yeah, you know how it is when you're sticks and your natural talent shine through. Yeah. I believe they call that a Kodak moment. I won my own camera.

Wow. What I think is now the equivalent of. $2.50 Australian. Brilliant. What, like inflation? Yeah, it was also, I was living in Indonesia at the time. Oh, of course. So inflation and currency exchange. Currency exchange, yeah.

Yeah, fuck. Well, that's amazing. Isn't it crazy to think that if you hadn't done that photography competition, it might not have like spurred the passion that you now have in photography. Yeah, it's nice to know that like all my passions I've fallen into by accident. something kind of like always the way confident about that was comedy accidental

like how does that happen I accidentally told a joke once like same thing look I was I was about eight and I accidentally told a joke and then someone said you should be a comedian and I was like for sure and you just hold on to it

well that's all that's all I need dream it's all I've ever wanted to do do do you do you have a preferred form of because you're a woman of many talents in the artistic. I wear many hats, thank you. Yeah, you do.

We wear many, many hats. Do you have like a favorite to wear, photography, art, comedy, performance? I like comedy the best, and I think it's because it's the only one that I can do without my parents getting emotional about it. And that makes me deeply uncomfortable when they cry. Yeah. So, it's comedy. That is so true.

Because, like, for me, I was in music, like a musician and then became a comedian. And it's so much more fun to be in comedy and not have your parents. be like so proud of you it is great to have your parents not be proud of you yeah it's a real privilege i just think it's fun to shock him a bit it's like i went from a maybe to this um but yeah i think that's really quite interesting and do you like find that you make fun of your other artistic crafts through your comedy as well like do you have like use it as an outlet yeah i've got like i've got a painful amount of self-awareness so in short yes yes i did see the set that you

did where you started the set very strong by saying you can tell by the home cut bangs that I have a degree in visual arts. Was it a degree in visual arts? Yeah, yeah, full degree and 2am bangs cut. So beautiful. Yeah. Right on time. That's perfect. The aesthetic is completely fulfilled. Yeah. It was like a three months into COVID decision. I think we were all a bit unhinged. Same. Mine started as a three months into COVID thing and now it's just too long and it's too upsetting to admit that I still cut them. So your show touring the circuit this year is called Dreamer in the Mist. And I don't actually know the story.

Apparently is a really interesting story about how the title of this show... Obviously it's a reference to the 1988 film Guerrilla in the Mist, right? Surely. Honestly, in the way, it's kind of like a spiritual sequel, I would say. Yes, yeah. I got this title from a title, generator online, just like Charlie Shandino did, and he's very successful. Lovely.

It's been what worked for me. And also, when I had to name the show, I hadn't written it. So I just thought, I just came up with a whole heap of generated titles and just picked one that made me laugh. So it's just called Dreamer in the Miss because the internet allowed it. So, I love that. Yeah, it was called The Kiss of the Witch. That was brilliant.

That was brilliant. Like, some, like, I don't know. no to me that's like a spooky show and I'm not ready to do my spooky show that'll be next Halloween special you've cracked the problem that I've encountered for the first time this year like naming a show while you're writing it or not even while you've written it's fucking rude like all these festivals being like because when you apply I don't know if you're not familiar with applying for comedy festivals you apply and they ask you like 21 intimate details about the show that you've definitely written at that point like six months before you do it so for my

it was literally a situation of like asking my colleagues in the office like I don't have a name for this show that I haven't written what do I call it I mean my main thing is I'm just hoping that nothing fucking breaks you know and then my friend was literally like you should call it that and so that's why my show is called I hope my keyboard doesn't break and I had to write a song post title to make the title make sense I think your system's way fucking better I'm just going to consult the internet next time do you work in any references to the title throughout your set or is it just So many.

Unbelievable now. Just keeps on giving it. This is potentially a spoiler, but I've edited this video that I play during the show that's like just clips of people from movies saying the title of the movie in the movie. And then at the end, I've taken this really beautiful cinematic shot of me

saying Dreamer in the Mist. That's so brilliant. That's really good. Oh my God, I cannot wait to see that. That is so funny. Because, yeah, it's just a crime. asking people to name things six months before you do it. And I, oh my God.

This is like when people name kids like on the first week of their life. I'm like, you don't know that this is a Brad. Yeah. And like you have to look at that kid and say Brad for the rest of their life. And they might be a Tom. A lot of confidence. Yeah. Will.

Hopefully not. Yeah. No. No. Fuck Will's. Like have you found this show harder to write or easier to write in like the world that we're in at the moment? do you find that you've got more content or less content or is it all just? I think I've found it easier to like sit down and work on it.

Yeah. I think just that's what I've been doing for the past couple years is like just sitting down and writing things. So I'm in the habit of it now. Yeah. Yeah. I think just this whole process has been a lot easier for me than previous shows. It's been like painful.

It's been way more painful and like I hate writing. Yeah. Overall it's been an easier process. Do you have like a process? Like if somebody were to like, if Vanity Fair, we're like, what's your process? What's your artistic process?

Do you have like a weird thing that you do? Or are you like me and it's just like, I don't know. The whole time I've been writing it, I only listened to one song on repeat. And it's been like weeks, if not months of just listening to this one song. What's the song? It's Hay Nail by London Grammar,

remixed by the DJ Artie. And it goes for five minutes. and it's just that non-stop because it like just... No one do you hate riding. I still like the song. That's what's crazy. That's insane.

But yeah, nothing but that one I write. Like literally nothing else. You should still get on your rider. Like every festival you go to and the more successful you get, you need to like have like my dressing room simply must have. Hey now playing a loop.

The Chaser Report. Less news. Less often. I think there's a difference between getting yourself in the zone for writing and getting yourself in the zone for performance. Like, from what I understand, you've gotten rave reviews before, and one of them was like, I really like her comedy because she always looks like she's about to cry.

Yeah. So I'm wondering, like, how do you get into that mindset before a show? Like, do you, how do you feel like you're about to cry before you go out? Lots of fire crews and pit bull. Pit bull, Mr. Worldwide. Mr. Worldwide himself, because I dream of being Mrs. Worldwide. That is a dream that would be hard to fulfill Because as I understand it

He's got the worldwideettes doesn't it Yeah, yeah he's got a lot of competition There's six women who follow him everywhere Yeah, they just follow him and that's all they do What? I didn't know this Yeah, I only found this out last week We were talking about this Mr. Worldwide has a crew of like six women

All look exactly the same And they just, their job is being a professional grouping They just follow him around So even if you got to the Mrs. Worldwide staple you're still competing with six other women for Mrs. Worldwide. It's horrific. Oh, my God. I know.

You'd be Mrs. and Mrs. and Mrs. and Mrs. Worldwide. It'd be horrible. I mean, if he's probably more power to him, we need more representation in traditional media. That would be worldwide representation. We love, sorry. Amen. Amen, Gabby. Oh, look.

I'm off duty at the moment. My comedy's done. I wrote the show ages ago. It's done. Fuck it. I'm so, so keen to see your show. And your show in Melbourne is the next time you're doing it, correct? No, so I'm doing the Gold Coast. It'll be this Thursday.

Beautiful. And then I'll be in Canberra the week after. Hometown? Hometown. Are you still in Canberra? No, I live in Melbourne now. I've lived in Melbourne for like four years. Oh, they gotcha. Yeah. Is it fun going to go anyways? Let me tell you.

Is it fun going back to Canberra to do a geek? Yeah, it's really strange because it's a lot of like people from my high school coming. Do you curate your material? No, no, I just let it leave. Were you like a comedian in high school? Are they coming to see like the funny person from school or are they coming to see someone completely like, you know what I mean? Like, no, I don't know.

What, you mean like, they're coming to see who this woman thought she was for 13 years. Exactly. Oh my God. I don't think I was like the go-to class clown, but I think I was like fairly witty. I don't know. Yeah. I think I always had something to say, you know, at a hot take. Yeah.

did you get that whole school report that was like great um great work ethic but too talkative i got that all the time just like talks too much and i was like jokes on you now needs to direct that energy yeah redirect that energy into work oh rude i i have another question though about going home to do comedy yeah do you get freaked out at the prospect like do you tell many anecdotal I know you were saying before you lie a lot in your comedy, which is like, of course we all do. We have to remain funny all the time. But do you have any anecdotal stories that you kind of worry that people in the crowd

are going to be like, oh my God, I know what this is about. Or like, is this about me kind of thing? Yeah, there was a guy from my high school who was kind of renowned for doing ketamine. And I do use his name and kind of reference that in my set. And I've done it in front of his friends. But I don't know if they've already done it in front of his friends, though. Is he coming to the show? He's not on national radio, so if he hasn't heard it from there, I'm sure someone will relay it to him.

Is he coming to the show? I don't know. You know, I don't know if he's aware enough to... He's still in that K-hole. The ketamine, yeah. He's deep, he's deep in there. There's no getting him out anymore. I just wanted to go back to the show.

Oh, yeah, for sure. Because, like, we know how the name was created, but what is it about? Like, is it related anyway to, like, a random name? generator or does a show have like a theme um phenomenal question uh i don't know so it is a random name generator kind of show no there's a bit about like it's a lot about art and kind of my experience navigating the world post graduation and like working as an artist like very loosely but there's a lot of like yeah i guess themes of visual art and like the meaning behind art oh yeah i love this i love that That was my only favorite part of, yeah.

Who's your, what's your favorite art era? I'm just curious now. Like, what's your favorite style? Oh, da, no doubt. I'm obsessed with it. Good shit. Like, that's where most collage was born as well, and that's kind of what piqued my interest in uni was like the collage era.

Yeah. I hate impressionism, and I will go on the record saying that under the shit. It's such a basic bitch era. I'm just not into Monet. I know I should be, but I'm not. We painted some fucking water lilies. I'm like, we get it.

I don't know. If you're going to paint something, paint it. You know, don't like. Don't skirt around it. We're doing it. You don't get a skirt around the lines.

Just like show me what a lily pad looks like. I don't want to know how it makes you feel. Yeah. I used, it's funny because I used to be an impressionist bitch. I used to be like, yeah, Impressionism is my favorite.

Did you have like 10 buds and stuff with, I had a fucking print of water lilies and all that shit, you know. But as I've gotten older, and I used to really shit. on Mondrian. Like I used to just be like, it's cubes. I don't get it. And now I think at 25 years old, I think I've flipped. I'm like, you know what? Mondrian's a fucking genius for making this work. How the fuck did you do that? And yeah, water lilies bore me. I'm sick of it. Like, yes, they're beautiful, but do I care is the question? No. Like, what is it saying?

I want to jump in the river that the waterlies are in. Yeah. Fuck. Anyway. Yeah, definitely data or renaissance. I'm obsessed with like the drugs. of like group renaissance portraits where like everyone's screaming in anguish. Yes. And you don't really quite know what's going on. But everything symbolizes something else. Yeah, that's what I want my audience to be. It's just like pained moans and like, I'm like, I'm like, you should somehow rig at

the end of your show to like take a renaissance portrait of your audience. Like you should get your camera out and be like, all right, Renaissance pose. I think they meant just like have like a 14 hour session after the show. You guys don't mind staying behind, do you? I've got it to know. Just going to come and do a little painting. I'm all in. Well, you can catch Emma's show, Dreamer in the Mist at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival from March 31st, April 24th.

And you can also catch her at the Gold Coast. Is the Gold Coast like a just a standalone gig or is it a festival thing? Yeah, just one night, just on the 17th. One night in the Gold Coast on the 17th. And one night in Canberra. Yeah. You did just say. Great question.

I keep, I got in trouble. Last time I did a, I just did a radio interview for the Gold Coast and they asked me what date and time my show was and I was like, I don't know. And then my manager got annoyed at me and he's like, this is information you need to know. And I was like, anytime I do any other promotional material, I will for sure know. And once again, we've ended up here. It's all right. We'll edit it out. I'm in Gold Coast on the 17th.

And I am in December on the 25th of March. Beautiful. Thank you so much for coming, Emma. Thanks for having me. We've loved having you. Our gear is from Road Microphones, and we're part of the A-Cast Creator Network. Bye! Bye!

Gotta go paint a Renaissance artwork now real quick. Just whip that one up. I've been Googling Dada, and I assumed it was track suits, but it turns out it's a whole bloody art movement.