The Chaser Report - ARVO: Sam Taunton's beef with Grant Denyer

Episode Date: March 7, 2022

Comedian Sam Taunton joins Aleksa and Zander for an Arvo Chat about everything from Shane Warne's death, to Russian troops using dating apps, to how he started beef with Grant Denyer. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chase of Report. Hey, welcome back to an afternoon edition of The Chase Report. Alexa and I are joined by the one and only Sam Taunton. Welcome to the show. Hey, guys, thanks for having me. Look, just before we started then, Shane Warren has passed away. Very sad stuff. I try, and this is how I know it's like the country actually is in mourning.

I tried to talk about Shane Warren dying at the comedy store on the weekend, doing stand-up. And, like, immediately people were like, shut up. stop talking, not even like too soon. Everyone was like, don't you even dare talk about this? Not that I was going to make any bad jokes. I was like, this is crazy. This happened. People are like, the mood on the street's crazy.

Because Twitter has been very weird in terms of its vibe. There are people who are just making fun of like, you know, all those Instagram models looking at the unopened DMs tonight thinking what could have been and other people like, is it a bit weird that we're celebrating this guy. Well, yeah, it's so weird because it's like, so. He dated Liz Hurley, right? And that wouldn't even be in the top 10 most interesting things about this guy. Like, that's how a complex person he is to explain.

But yeah, people celebrating him. Like, even I was watching ABC News the morning, like, announced it. And the hosts there are like, look, he did some bad things. He was a drug cheat. He was a match fixer. He had affairs and stuff. But he was an absolute genius. It's like he is the most controversial figure of all time.

But, like, I guess people just liked him a lot. Yeah, it's weird to see him. people like Lee Sales just posting about like one of my favorite interviews I've ever done on Instagram. It's like that was my goal for the first eight years of the 730 report was meeting warning. So that interview is so funny because it starts with Lee Sales goes, Shane, thanks for joining us. Oh no, Shane, she goes, Shane, lovely to meet you. And then Shane goes, it's lovely to be met. It's lovely to be met. I've got the clip of it. I put it in my podcast. It's the start of my podcast in the like the jingle at the top. It's the most confusing.

confusing answer over it's lovely to be met this guy is he was he knew he was i met him once right so i was working on a cricket show at fox sports and he came on the show i was like riding on it and so i got to sit down with him for like an hour one-on-one and like pitch jokes to him and he he didn't want to do any of my jokes and that's fine and he's shameful and he can do it every once but at one point he was just like he turned to me he goes have you seen the movie the truman show and i'm like yeah he goes my life is actually the truman show and i'm like you mean you think you are everyone he's filming you for a show or people know and he's like look whenever people ask me a question they already know the answer and i'm like oh my god so yeah he knew he knows what's happening he's like

yeah so that's my shame warne story Shane warn was like weirdly not to derail this whole chat no yeah sorry yeah but he was weirdly a film buff as well oh really like he had a list on Twitter of like his 10 favorite movies it wasn't just like shawshank redemption like okay shawshank was on the list every Australian sports phone yeah I love Shawshank Redemption. Makes me cry. Okay. Shane Warren's top ten films.

Shawshank Redemption, Top Guns, Silence of the Lamps, few good men, usual suspects, Gladiator, Rush, Goodfellas, Ford versus Ferrari and Da Vinci Code. Wow. What a list. I mean, there's some good films in there. Yeah.

Real good films in there. I mean, yeah, he's a movie buff. I thought you were going to, there would be something real niche in there, but no, they're all pretty big movies. I mean, Gladiator's a bit of a curveball, but I think probably he recognizes himself in Russell Pro.

Are you kidding me? Of course. He was probably upset that he's not featured in that. Have you seen that clip of him? Like he got this mural painted at his house. And there's this clip of him going through it. And it's like him and it's like heaven. It's actually like probably where he is now.

Now. But it's like it's him in there. And there's like it's like Bruce Springsteen, Keith Richards, Chris Martin, Michael Clark's in there. Who else is in there? Muhammad Ali. And it's just him in there like talking to these. It's like he's with Muhammad Ali, like, showing him how to do leg spin bowling.

And he got this painted in his house, his mural. And he's like, there's Chris Martin from Colplay, my best friend in the entire world. Because Colby, he loves Colplay. Yeah, I know. The scientist is his favourite song. I knew nothing about this man until he died. No way. Yeah.

And now, I mean, obviously I feel sad that he's died, but now I feel even sadder. I never got to know him. He was, like, famous for being famous as well and for being like a bit of an odd ball. But the cricket side of things is that, like, he is. is, like, potentially the best cricket player of all time. Like, there's Don Bradman. He is arguably the best ball. He's the best leg spin bowler of all time.

But it's like, you don't understand how good this guy. It's like, it's also like if Michael Jordan, yeah, only ate baked beans. It's like, that's how, that's the level of, like, unbelievable accomplishment in cricket he is. And it's like, but the crazy thing is, obviously, like, he was still alive. And a week ago, everyone was like, yeah, Shane Warren's pretty cool. And then he dies. And it's just this cultural record. of like what a force oh man it is like i woke up at also up at 2 30 a m and heard the news

and it felt like i'd been asleep i'd fallen asleep on the lounge woke up saw it and i was like this can't be this can't be real i'm like this is a nightmare this is a dream it can't be happening you've you've been through a few not to dodgly segue but you've had a few controversies recently sam oh no there was just been one of note and it's not even it got blown out of proportion What happened was, I assume, are you talking about the Grant Denier thing? I'm talking about the Grand Daniel thing. Yes, okay. This is what happened.

Do you know who Grant Denier is? Oh, yeah. Only from Dancing with the Stars, though. That's the funniest place to know him from. He's like a small man. He used to be the weather man on Channel 7 for ages. And now it's family feud. But he's like a big, he was like a big presenter.

He is a big presenter. He was also a race car driver. Anyway. Did you ever see, I remember being a little kid and watching, not a little kid, but a kid and watching the, like, the morning weather report when he went in that like jet in that fighter plane or that really fast plane and they're he passed out he passes out because they're going so fast that's so fun i have seen that and it's like live tv right and everyone's like oh i don't know should we cut

away from this like grant just seen grant and you die live on the tv well anyway so years ago i was at the comedy store doing weirdly i was talking about the comedy store before but i was there and Grant Daniel was in the crowd and this was like just after he had been he was partying a lot. There was a big rumor that he was smoking a lot of meth or something. That was the big room. I don't know. He was at the gig and so I was just like, oh, Denius is probably been up three nights or whatever.

You know, just making jokes about him being on meth. Funny stuff. I saw him after the show. We laughed, shook his hand, whatever. It's nothing. I did this podcast, news.com podcast the other week and they were like, have you ever done a joke about someone in front of them? And I was like, yeah, quickly told that Denia's story.

The next day, like news.com and the front page of the daily mail is, like, like, comedial, oh no, Grant DeNia confronts comedian after show. And I'm like, give me a break.

Are you kidding? And so it's like big story on, and like people are messaged, all these like radio stations like, do you want to come and talk on

about your beef with Denya? I was like, I don't have any beef with Denia. And it just, so I declined it all, but then Grand DeNia's wife

message me. And she's like, she's such a pro and she was just like, what happened? We need to address this. And I was like, blah, blah,

this happened. And she was like, oh, Don't worry about it, sweetie. And now we started chatting, and I'm, like, still tight with her. We follow each other on Instagram. Next thing's going to come up out of this podcast. It's going to be a news article being, like, local comedian has an affair with Grand

Denia's wife. Secret messages. You could cut it. That blew my mind that that was, that became a new story, like 13 seconds of a podcast, and then it's like, bang. Ridiculous. Do you just eat a chip? Yeah.

In the middle of my incredible Denia's story. I'm hungry for more. For more chips or more denia story? More denia stories. No, I don't have anymore. But that's it. But that was my foray into the news in the last few weeks, at least. But, yeah, they also used, like, the worst photo of me from Instagram into the article

on the Daily Mail. It's like me doing a funny fact. It's like, there's so many headshots on there. And you've used the weirdest photo I've ever seen. That's on purpose, right? It has to be, right? Someone working there is just a bully. Like, it's so bizarre.

They also called me an up and coming comedian, which I was like, come on. How long you're up and coming for? Is this just because? you haven't hosted the project yet. Yeah, yeah, I think it is. You're on the project. Yeah, I know, I do segments on the project, but it's like they were up and coming is,

maybe it to create more of beef. Maybe I am up and coming, but I always, like, if I die in a plane crash tomorrow, I'm always like, how am I remembered? Like if there's a new article, do I even get mentioned? Did they say, by the way,

there was a comedian on the thing. But up and coming comedian suggests I won't get, that would be like an open micah was on the... Because in your last stand-up show, you have a bit where you talk about, like, how you're represented in the media. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. How does this compare to all the other times you've been talked about in newspaper?

Well, this one's just like, it feels like they, I feel, I feel bad actually for like if grand denia's upset. Like, I don't want to upset Grand Denia because he seems like such a nice guy. But also, it's like everyone's made jokes about Grand Denia. And I, and then I'm up and go. It feels like a waste. Look, I'll take, if it sells me more tickets to my comedy show, that's all it matters at the end of the day. But, um. Maybe you should lead into it in your marketing, like the grand denials.

a knockout tour. What if I proposition Greg Daniel to fight me? Be like you and I in a boxing ring, gloves on. That's pretty funny. He might do that. It worked for Logan Paul. I reckon you could sell it to 7, 6.30 on a Saturday night. Because like boxing now in Australia is just kind of, it's like Barry Hall's fighting

Sunny Bill Williams. It's like ex-footie players fight a lot. What about like an up-and-coming comedian? And then like I washed up, he's not washed up, but he's, you know, like a big media personality, we fight. And then if you win, you get to host family feud, and then you're no longer up and coming. Then I'm coming.

You're coming. No, I'm just up. Coming comedian. Yeah, that'd be good. Or maybe, and then the winner could fight Carl Stefanovic or something. Like, Denia versus Carl Zepernovic, or like the Bondi Vett versus Carl Sten. Like, I could see like a big boxing series of like Australian TV hosts. It's a great idea.

Dude, you know when it would get really spicy when you start getting the Bondi rescue boys on? Oh, make them fight each other? Yeah, because they're actual athletes. They're big boys. They're like, always see them down at Brontea and Bonner, but they're all mussely and their tan. Like, it would be great to see them in the ring. They're too kind.

I couldn't choke anyone out. One of them just punches the other one too hard. They get, he's like, his face is just covered in blood. He's like, grab the green whistle quickly. And they just snap back into emergency response mode. Dude, yeah, that's it. Every time they punch someone out, then they do CPR back on the same person.

None of the medical advice contained in the Chaser report Should legally be considered medical advice The Chaser Report Do you have another show coming up this year at the Melbourne Comedy Festival? I'm doing a show called Yoho Diablo I'm in Adelaide Fringe next week If anyone Any listeners are in Adelaide

And would love to come along I'd love to see you Just because, you know I haven't been to Adelaide for ages I haven't done stand up in Adelaide for Yonks So I'm very excited Doing a new show it's um there will be no grant denia stories in the show but hopefully grant denia comes along

but previously you've had stories about your um local takeaway stores that's it yes the band train what what can they expect from this concert well do you call it a concert just a concert i would say it's a big enough experience it's an immersive experience an up-and-coming comedian plays concerts that's what happens um there is uh there's a lot of story like a lot of bits from the last year but also like a lot of like, I think I've had more time to think because of the last year we've had lockdown. So I think I've got more opinions about things as opposed to stories from my childhood, which seemingly every other stand-up show I've done has been a show about that. But yes, a lot of opinions.

I did a few fun things at the back end of last year, which I've also kind of whacked in and told stories. But yeah, it is like, there's a bit more about the world, I think, in this show. It's going to get deep and political. It's going to get deep and political. And I'll fight someone after the show as well. well. There'll be a confrontation. Is that like the VIP?

Yeah, yeah. If you pay more, you can fight me after the show. Someone probably would go for that. You know, because it's like, sometimes people get annoyed by comedians. If you were like, hey, it's $25 to come or for $75, you can watch a show then punch me in the face. I think there would be people that would go for that, for sure. I think 75's almost too cheap. Yeah.

Or 100? I can't do it because if I do like the full month of Melbourne Comedy Festival and I offer and say like 20 people, will take me up on the punching in the face. It's dangerous. I have to take 20 punches in the face and do the show for a month. It's like, I'll be a bloody mess. People usually talk about, like, the start and the end of their comedy run is just incomparable because they've done the material so many times they're so good by the end

of it. You'll have somehow gotten worse. I'll have brain damage. Because, like, yeah, by the end of your comedy festival run, a lot of the time you're on autopilot, like you're just going through the motions because you've done it so much and you're thinking about other stuff. But yeah, I won't even be able to, I won't be able to think. I won't be able to talk.

It'll be a mime show by the end of the run. What was this dog story you were talking about out in the... Dog story? Yeah. Oh, no, the doll. The doll story. Oh, yes. No, I, um, I did a segment on the project like probably a year and a half ago.

And it was about, um, there was like a bit of a movement to root to raise the, the doll in Australia to make it more money because it hasn't been increased for like 20 years. and so we thought it would be funny if I then tried to live on the amount the dollars for a day For one day For one day So we broke it down

And you dollied Yeah well so it's It's fuck all It's like I think it works out at $40 a day Is how much the dollar So we were like Let's do it

And then I did a bunch of stuff Like I ate avocado The point was I was done with my money And ended up with like $2 at the end of the day for dinner And I bought like avocado on toast And I bought like a bottle of wine And so by 11 o'clock in the morning

And so by 11 o'clock in the morning I had no money. I had $2. Anyway, the point of the segment was to raise awareness, to be like, we need to raise, like,

and I've been on welfare. Like, I, like, I get it. We need more money. But instead, people lost their minds and were like,

this is the most offensive thing we've ever seen. People on Twitter were like, I had to shut my Instagram and my Twitter down for a day because it was like, people were just like, you should die. How dare you? You don't understand anything that's going on. And I do get how people,

it was a bit of fun. And then like, news.com, read it. and like um and the daily mail ran it and it's like hellie is messaging me and he's like i think we're in trouble here and the project had to do um they had to do an apology about it as well yeah and i and i apologize to a few people but also um it was it was um it was i think the doll might have been increased after so maybe i actually did the right maybe i

am a game changer maybe i'm the most important person in the country i reckon that makes sense Wait, who did you apologize to you, the government for making the doll? No, I apologize to individual people that were telling me to die in my Instagram inbox. Oh, I thought you just went out to like Redfern Centrelink. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sorry, sorry, sorry. And they knew me as well. I was the evil, the most evil person in the world of welfare.

I was going to say, was it just a lineup of people you'd seen in an open mic before? Yeah, that is the thing. It's like, every comedian I know has been on Centrelink at some point. It's like, I know all the people that need the money. I mean, I'm on Centrelink right now. Senterlake comedy's peak. I mean, I was on Senterlake all through university. I was on the doll when I started stand-up.

I mean, I know all the ins and ounce of it all. And even when I was on the doll, I probably did waste all my money on avocado toast anyway. Apart from the Comedy Festival, do you have anything else coming up soon, soon? I am, no, well, the Comedy Festival was kind of really been taking up all my brain power. I haven't, because we didn't do, like, you know, like lockdowns last year. So the back end of last year, everything was closed. It was so little, no stand-up happened. So all the comedians, I'm not sure if you've seen them,

are kind of scrambling around, kind of trying to make any joke fun. It's like anything, like right now, I'm like, what if I do get punched in the face? Like, anything I'm trying to do. But last year, everyone used up the how bad was lockdown, I know. Do you don't understand how now I'm like, I actually can't talk about COVID or lockdown?

Because it's been done. We all did it last year. But now you've got to do a really, really fast turnaround on. Ukraine war jokes. Oh, yeah. That's all that's left. If you have a hot take on the Ukraine, I would love to hear it. Are you going to head to the Ukraine for a project bit?

Just be out there. They have to banter with Peter Hellier. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Me and Helio could sort that out, I reckon, over there. We get on the Great, where's Putin, guys? We'd love to talk to Putin. This isn't working out. Get out of here.

Walk up to some Russian soldiers. Just chuck a mic on them. Yeah, we'll do some Voxbox with Russian soldiers would be good, just to see what they have to say. Did you guys hear about Alexa? would be familiar with this a little bit. But did you hear about how, like, dating apps in Ukraine at the moment are being used to track down Russian soldiers on Tinder and Grindr?

Oh, my God. Wait, do they come in with spare clothes for, like, going out at night? Or are they dating in their full military years? They're just dating in their full. Let me pull it up. They're dating in their full military gear. Wait, who are they going on with Ukrainian civilians? Yeah, I guess, though.

Or maybe you're Ukrainian soldiers. That's so funny. It's like, what do you do? What do you do? It's like, I'm in an army trying to kill you. All right, out. trusty news source news.com.com.com.

Russian soldiers are chasing Ukrainian girls on Tinder. Russian soldiers began bombarding Ukraine yesterday with Tinder messages looking for love. No. Ukrainian women in second city, Kharkiv just 20 miles from the tyrannical Vladimir Putin's vast invasion force have been stunned by Salvoid Mairas in uniform.

Hunky Russian troops called Andre Alexander, Gregory, Mikhail and bearded Chechen, fighter, nickname Black, were among dozens whose profiles popped up, the US Sun reported. No. How, like, unpatriotic is it to go on a date with a soldier invading your country? I thought it was, like, a perfect picture of male privilege. You know, like, you're setting unsolicited dick picks.

This is, like, next level. I'm like, I'm bombing you, and here's my dick. Well, it is just totally male privilege. It's like, what more can I do to this country? I heard some rumor on Twitter, though, that girls were, like, using it to meet up with soldiers and killed them. And they're pretty unconcerned reports. That's unreal.

That's so good if that's what they're doing. But if that's true, how incredible is that of a play? Dude, imagine if Ukraine win that way. Like, even they know, but the guys are like, God, there's a slight chance they're not going to kill me. If I get to have sex, it's actually worth the risk. I've killed so many civilians. Imagine if we got to Putin that way.

Like, we just killed all the Russian soldiers just by going on dates, and then that's how we take down Putin. You root your way up. Yeah, root your way to the top. Well, there's no rooting. Well, unless they want to, I mean, they obviously... It's murdered at first side. Now, this is a...

Oh, my God. This actually is a TV show. The Russian troops dating in Ukraine. It's like, it's like forbidden love, the ultimate forbidden love. We could pitch this right now. Not to any Russian TV channel, because they're claiming the war's not happening. But there's somewhat... I think that'd be their angle, though.

Yeah, it's all this is a big love fest. It's these young bachelors who are crossing international borders looking for love. They're not invading. That should be what, is that Putin's, that's his new messaging. Is that we're looking for love? We're not looking to regain territory. I'm pretty sure that's, well, that is what he said. He's like, we're all brothers, Ukrainians and Russians,

and we just got to denatify them, and then we can be brothers again. It's like, he is playing this weird love angle. It's terrifying. I mean, love is obviously the strongest force in the world. It's not the Russian military. It's love. It's love. And if people love you, Sam Thornton,

where can they find out more? Oh, your podcast, your shows, your Instagram. I have a website you could go there, samtorten.com, or my Instagram page, and there's heaps of shows. Also, I have a newsletter. People should sign up to that. I write a newsletter every fortnight, and it's, in fact, I forgot to do it on Friday. The News of Shane Warren's death rocked me, and I had to put the pen down.

Put the pen down. Put the pen down, but, no, sign up for it. It's really funny. And, yeah, I'm floating around the place. Sam, thank you so much for coming on. people check out your website, Sam Taunson.com. Yes, yes, yes.

Or Instagram, whatever. You know, there's clips. There's newsletters. Sign up. Have a look. Hang out. Come see a live show. Come see a live show.

And you and Tom Cashman have a podcast? We do have a podcast. It's called The Good Stuff. It's very funny. And each week it turns out, Tom has been in the media for this whole rental saga. I don't know if anyone's following it. And then the next week I was in for this denia blow up.

So at the moment, it feels like a gossip, a celebrity gossip podcast about us. But no, we do talk about funny stuff. in there. Thank you so much for joining us then. Thanks guys. Thank you so much for listening to The Chaser Report. We'll be back tomorrow. Our gears from road microphones and we're part of the ACAST creator network.