The Chaser Report - ARVO: Vidya Rajan's Reincarnation Aspirations

Episode Date: February 15, 2022

Comedian and screenwriter Vidya Rajan joins the team for an Arvo Chat. Vidya talks behind the scenes of her new show 'Respawn' which unpacks the topic of afterlife, and Charles has lots of questions about what he will reincarnate as. Plus Vidya proves why she always knew Harry Potter would cause problems in her life. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thank you for your patience. Your call is important. Can't take being on hold anymore. FIS is 100% online, so you can make the switch in minutes. Mobile plans start at $15 a month. Certain conditions apply. Details at FIS.ca. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chaser Report. Hello and welcome to an afternoon edition of The Chaser Report. Dom Knight, Gabby Bolt and Charles Firth here with video. Rajan, welcome. Hello, good morning.

Hi. So you've got this show at the comedy festival about whether you're going to reincarnate as a dung beetle. Yeah, you know, it's just a constant concern about whether, you know, I've done enough good in my life to actually, you know, escape the cycle of birth or to come back as a lower life form. But aren't the chances that you definitely haven't done enough? Like, isn't the whole point that you go... We've just met. That feels like a... I was going to say, that's a real...

No, no, no, there's no judgment, which is, like, statistically, don't you have to do, like, thousands and thousands of lives to then... Well, I think by the time you've reached a human life, you've probably done quite a few. So we're all at the apex, but we could fall any minute. It's kind of like a video game. Nice. It's like being on the top level of duolingo, where if I miss a day... Yeah, the owl... It eats you.

Yes. So, hang on, so I'm not aware of this. So, so humanity is the... top thing. Yeah, not like in like worth, but like in like, um, level. Right. But what about like being a dolphin or so? Surely being a dolphin would be more fun than being a human. Yeah, but it's like if you're a human, it's like the big, the last level that you got to conquer. And then if you don't do well, you get put down and you got to start like work your way up again from like, yeah, like you go like snail and lion. And then if you, snail to line is a real interesting. You have to do

amazing work as a snail. Yeah, it's going to be like the best. All the way to line. But if you then go, what if you go sort of like good enough to be a human again, but not good enough to be, yeah, yeah. Oh, you become Joe Rogan. That's, yeah. Yeah, yeah, you become like a human, like a one who didn't have much going on, maybe. You become Charles.

So wait, no, but can you just reincarnate as another human? Yeah, yeah, I think he can, yeah. And then, but then, like, like the level after this. Yeah. Is that you're just dead? Or you come back as another human, or if you do really bad, you might have to start at the bottom as another animal. No, it's snakes and ladders.

It's basically, yeah, it's like a video game level. Why is Dung Beetle bad? I mean, it's just low. It just means you have to go through it all again. Oh, right. So you can't go Dung Beetle, then human. You've got to... Yeah, I don't know.

That seems like you've got to... You'd have to be an amazing... I don't know what you have to do as a Dung Beetle to do. Basically, like, convert your shit into fuel and power of... There's not a lot of scope. We did the tasks of a dung beetle to a sand dower thing. Like, you're basically rolling shit along. Yeah.

Well, Scott Morrison has a lot to answer for. Is he? Yeah. I reckon he's a dung beetle in a human suit, you know. It feels, it feels mean to say that the Beatles below him. Yeah. I mean, to the beetle. Yeah.

It feels like beetles should come above Scott. Yeah. He might have his own level. Like maybe it's human, then dung beetle and then, you know, Scott Morrison. Mm. I mean, Dung is one of his major biographical points. This is true, you know. That was him returning to him from where his past life had come from.

So what's the show about? I mean, do you on me? I guess it's just about like the weird beliefs we have to make sense of the world. And like my mom really believes in reincarnation. So it's a bit about like her and me mainly disagreeing. Yeah. do you find like do you find that there are discrepancies like if you don't mind me i think like what is your belief system in i don't have one yeah i'm alone in the universe same i'm a speck of carbon

waiting to die um yeah so do you find that there's like a lot of ground to tread between having to sort of explain yeah your belief system to people and you find that the show is helpful in that way or yeah i mean it's the first time i'm doing it so i'll see if it helps anyone yeah fuck but um yeah i just I think also especially last couple of years, like, people started taking up with some really weird beliefs, right? I don't know if you noticed. So, yeah, I was just thinking about, like, how all those belief systems are the kind of response to, like, fear and feeling out of control. Like, Q and on. Oh, yeah.

So, yeah, people just want to make patterns, so it's kind of what I'm looking at. Have her beliefs sort of increased during the pandemic? Like, have you sort of noticed that? Yeah, like, so I don't know if you know how much you know about, like, Hinduism, but, like, They believe that we're kind of in the end stage where, like, things are going to get really bad and humanity is going to die out. It seems reasonable to be honest. Yeah, with less like interventionist rapture. I'm just kind of like, oh, yeah, this is like the last epoch.

And then with the pandemic, both my parents were like, oh, it's true. Look, it's so bad. I mean, it's looking likely at this point. Yeah. Sorry. It's so bad. It's just up. I'd turn religious for a pandemic.

I guess the ancient texts were correct. But did you turn? Because we are in a pandemic. I don't know if it was all happening. Sorry, yeah, I forgot. I keep saying jokes as if the pandemic's over. I know. It's hard to keep referring to it like it's happening.

Yeah. But in some ways, Hinduism is worse, isn't it? Because you're sort of stuck in purgatory of, like if you're a shit person. Yeah. If you're Charles, you know, you're getting busted down to dung beetle. You're just going from dung beetle to you and back to dung bedel. Yeah, yeah. Well, you get a certain amount of chances before the end of the world.

and by then, I don't know what happens if you haven't done it by then. Yeah, what happens? I don't know. I'll ask my mum. You join the Cosmos as a beautiful Dung Beetle. That sounds like it's fairly important for your show. You've got to know that for your show. Not Charles telling us what we do. No, what's the end?

Charles, I have a recast. I have a recommendation for you, Charles. Go see the show. You want me to give it all the way? Fuck it out. I'm the past this afternoon podcast. You could try to sell some tickets for video. Come on.

It's weeks away from that. the show premiering. You haven't written it yet, have you? Not all of it, no. And how's, you know what? No, I'm going to turn this around. How's your show going? Oh, you have a show? Yeah. Yeah, well done. Does it even, does it address the nature of life and debt at all? Or is it just about you? Charles, what are the levels of complexity to your way of thinking in the world? Huh? Huh? Go on. Charles is just recording all of his jokes from the last show. Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, cool. Thank you for your patience.

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Less often. So I hear you have some strong opinions about Harry Potter, or you have a opinion that you would like to share. Yeah, look, I have been a big fan of it. At the moment, I know it's kind of dicey. There's a lot of, like, strong reactions to Harry Potter, like, about the author and specifically. But I feel like it ruined my life long before all this discourse came out.

And looking back, like, I think there were omens right from the start. So I read the first book, and this is true story, on September 11th. Whoa. So I was a child, and I was reading the first book, and my mom kind of called me into the other room, too. She was like, you know, something's happening on the news, come and watch, and I was like, I don't know, I mean. Sorry, there's wizards doing important stuff here.

I feel like, you know, I need to find out what happens with the troll in the bathroom. I don't know sure I can come. About, oh, an hour later, she was like, something else has happened. You should really come watch. You should watch. It's history happening. And I was like, is it going to be more historical than Ron? defeating the chess sport, I don't think so.

So I went and then, yeah, and then it was September 11. Oh, letdown. But I feel like it was like this really poetic metaphor for like the two biggest things that influenced like a millennial's life, like Harry Potter. You really were at the cross section. Yeah. It's just like. I love that book.

But I feel like if anything shaped our lives, it was probably those two things, right? Yeah. But I also like, I don't know if you noticed this, but I feel like it really has ruined the millennial brain because any issue that comes up cannot be analyzed unless it's through the lens of Harry Potter. Like if you look at like a news headline on any websites like, you know, Peter Dutton does something awful to a refugee.

And then the first comment will be like, oh, this reminds me of he who must not be named. Lord Voldemort vibes. Yeah, yeah. And then someone will be like, just call him by his name. It's Voldemort. And then third person will be like, you both are just so off topic. It's clearly Umbrage. And I'm just like, why are we like this?

Why do we do it? That's such a half a buff thing to do. I know. Speaking of that, like that is what, for me, it manifested, I feel like the worst bit of it manifested in my obsession with people's houses. So, like, for years, anyone I ever met, I'd be like, what is their house? And just instantly be thinking about it, trying to diagnose it. What's your house, Gabby?

I don't even want to say it because I get roasted. Oh, my God, it's a slither in. No. Griffindore. I don't understand this, because there's only one good house, right? No. Like, the other three houses suck. No, it's true.

So Slytherin obviously is just sociopathic monsters. Let's just rule them out. It's Charles Slytherin. Yes, definitely. Hufflepuff's famous for doing nothing. They're kind and they're loyal. Yeah, and they like plants. I feel like I wouldn't mind being a Hufflepuff.

Yeah, Hufflepuff would be fun. Sweet ride. And they tried to, they tried to sort of bring it out by having a few, like adding a few Hufflepuff heroes later on because up to that point, everyone was incredibly boring. And Ravenclaw is just for horrible nerds Except that Hermione's the smartest girl at Hogwarts And she's a Gryffindore So it's not for the smartest kids

So what's the point? So what's the point? I wasn't sure which house she should go to And then she chose to go to Gryffindor And I mean, Cho Chang is from Ravenclaw But she gets dumped within half a book I mean there's just not It's only Gryffindor

Yeah I mean, Cho Chang's like sensitive subject Because she's like named after two last names Yes, that's also true. It's really funny. Because Dicker Rowling didn't know how to look up in Asian name. It's a common fucking issue too because there's also Seamus Finnegan

who is apparently just thinly veiled IRA propaganda. He's like really into fireworks. Yeah, the only Irish character and he just keeps blowing shit up throughout the entire story. J.K. Rowling has this weird thing of like people of colour in the books

have to have their first and last name start with the same letter like Padma and Poverty Patil and Joe Chang. And I'm still. Still not over the injustice of what they wore to the Yule Ball in the fourth round. Can we talk about it because it's fucking horrendous? We can be angry. Yeah.

It's so bad. Yeah. It was just to make Hermione look good. Amazing. Yeah, I know. Because we all know if they had been dressed the way they should have been dressed. I was like no self-respecting brown girl would have worn this. It was a T-shirt.

I'm like, why are they in T-shirt? Just for the 99% of people who don't know what you're doing. No, no. I don't think it's not. I honestly don't even think if we got into it. But we wouldn't stop talking. I just Google it. Just Google.

Go and Google it. The fourth film. Don't drop the stride. You're missing out, Charles. Yeah. Four film. Full film. Four of them.

There's four of them. There's four of them. Oh my God. But also, they started making a movie about Hufflepuff, right? Like Newtkeman do some Huffle Hufflepuff. The new series. Fantastic piece. And that's a disaster already.

I mean, that's, they should just give up. Shouldn't they just retire all things Harry Potter at this point? So what's, what's happened? is there some controversy So many controversies At the moment There's like stuff with JK Rolls She's a turf

She's a turf She's transphobic Yes Yes Which is really bad And that's why she wasn't invited To the 20th anniversary Has anything else happened

Yeah Johnny Depp Johnny Depp was In the films Yeah That was the bad guy in the new series As Grindrewald And then he had to get sacked For being a monster too

So the whole thing is just spiraling into crap right But to bring it back to why I have a problem with it way before she was cancelled. Predating turfness. Oh, were you the first? Maybe I picked up on it. Maybe the September 11th was a clue. You sensed the vibe.

Confirm J.K. Rolling Falls, 9-11. She's the Sama Bidladen of children's books. Anyway, sorry, you were saying. Yeah, so I was really obsessed with the houses. In what I thought was like maybe a charming hobby way, but now I feel was quite like sociopathic. So I'd moved to Melbourne a few years ago and I was doing like all the usual stuff, you know, like going to the NGV, letting about coffee, like swiping right on jazz musicians on Tinder.

Oh, I'm so sorry. I know. And then, so I went on this date with this guy and it was like kind of borderline. I was like, I don't know. I'm a bit confused about what direction like, yeah, so should I go out again. And then at the end of it, he was like, oh, I didn't want to say it, but like, I'm a Ravenclaw. What house are you? And I was just like, oh.

this is a good side. And I was like, no, because I was really into Hogwarts. I was like, yes, and Ravenclaw and Gryffindor are a great match. So, like, you know what? We should go out again. We totally should. And then we went out for nine months. And one night we were in bed.

And he'd been, like, weirdly distant for a little bit. And I just like, you know, sometimes when you get like a strange feeling. And I was like, are you seeing someone out? Like, are you cheating on me? And then he got up out of Ben. This is around midnight. He didn't say a word. And he just put on his clothes.

and walked out my bedroom door down the stairs. I'm in townhouse right to the front door, also with his jazz clarinet cage in hand. And then I was like, I think that's a yes, but no one said anything. So I just followed him, and then I'm standing in the doorway, and then he's like on the porch, and then he just gives me one look, and then he runs down the street. Still not a word was said.

He's just running down the street, the jazz clarinet case, like rattling by his side. And then I never saw or heard from him again. That's so Ravenclaw, though. That's all right. And then the next thing I heard from like a mutual acquaintance was like, he'd moved to Canberra. And I like to think he kept running that night.

He ran all the way to Canberra. But I was like, this would not have happened if I hadn't trusted the Hogwarts house. And you know what? A jazz clarinet player would fucking be in Ravenclaw. Yeah, he was sorry. Or a Slytherin. No. Maybe he lied.

Maybe he was a Slytherin. See, if he told me a Slytherin, I wouldn't have been in this mess. Yeah. There's got to be a lot of jazz musicians in Slytherin. Oh, yes. Almost exclusively all of them. But I feel like jazz clarinet is its own lane. And I feel like that places you in Ravenclaw,

because it's just like, come on, that's a niche. Yeah, it's like jazz, but in no way cool. Yeah. Jazz clarinet. I played clarinet for eight years, and I can confirm not cool. I mean, that's Woody Allen's instrument, right? Let's just not even. I mean, speaking of cancel.

But yet, that's kind of when the charm of Harry Potter faded from me. I was like, maybe maybe I should make all my life decisions based on Hogwarts houses. Okay, so if you just show, Reesbourne is at the Comedy Republic in Melbourne from the 12th to the 14th, 24th to the 24th of April. Good luck with it. We'll have to get coffee because I'm a Gryffindor and you're a Gryffindor. It'll work out great. I won't run away from you.

And you won't be playing the clarinet. And I will not be playing the jazz clarinet. Our gears from road microphones, and we are part of the ACAST Creator Network. See you tomorrow. Bye. Bye. Nice. That story is fucked.

I can't believe he did that to you. It's so funny. Thank you for your patience. Your call is important. Can't take being on hold anymore? FIS is 100% online, so you can make the switch in minutes. Mobile plans start at $15 a month. Certain conditions apply.

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