The Chaser Report - ARVO: What is Love? with Floyd Alexander-Hunt

Episode Date: March 31, 2022

The fantastic Floyd Alexander-Hunt joins Gabbi and Charles for an Arvo Chat. Floyd unpacks her show 'Highly Strung' and how it delves into understanding love. Is love earnest, or is it attraction? Find out with the team, or in Floyd's show. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chase of Report. Hello and welcome to this afternoon edition of The Chaser Report. I'm Charles Firth. We've got Gabby Bolt here. Hi. And Floyd Alexander Hunt and Floyd Alexander Hunt. And Floyd Alexander Hunt. Yes, thank you, Charles.

That's how I like to be introduced, actually. Yeah, wrong name first. Yeah, good. That means me, Bolt Gabby. Respect the parents. We'll cut that out. Respect the parents. The dynasty.

Yes. So Floyd is doing a new show called Highly Strung. You're doing it in Melbourne for a month from the 31st of March. I am. I'm heading there this week. Exciting. And then Sydney and Brisbane in May. Yes, I'm doing Perth and mid-May as well at some point.

God, the whole lot. And what is the show about? Okay, so the show is about the different types of love I've experienced. I narrowed it down to four, but in hindsight, I'm like, I should have made more categories. Oh. But anyway, so the four, yeah, this is not a spoiler. You find out very early in the show that it's about this.

So it's about, I go through first love, unrequited love, which a lot of people in trial audiences don't know what that word means. What do you mean? I have way too much experience with all about that. I seem to be attracting uneducated people to my shows. Maybe they have an unrequited relationship with language. Inguish?

With English. With English. Sounds like you haven't unrequited. really anxious oh me too yeah yeah like whenever I see effect yeah and whenever I say to like trial audiences have you experienced unrecognited love it's only ever women who are like yeah yeah men are like either don't understand what the word is or like no never experience checks out checks out so yeah first love unrequited love self love and unconditional love oh I love I love that I'm doing that it's sort of like a concert like a violin in four parts so you know we'll see how it goes

but I am aria I love it an aria I wish I'd done it more though because like on the way here while I was walking here I was thinking there's so many other types like like visa love oh right yes of course because you're from New Zealand originally I don't need a visa to be here

a child citizen but don't you really we can't just chuck you out no well at New Zealanders are allowed to just live and work you know we come and take a new jobs well that is I think we need to get stricter on immigration in this time the election's coming up

I know where you're voting, yeah. Well, I kind of think that that would be a very, you know, popular policy to get rid of all the New Zealanders. I think, yeah, probably amongst Australians, yeah. They hate all foreigners. Yeah. But can you vote? Can I vote? Yes.

Oh, fuck. What part of dual citizen makes no sense to you. Well, I don't know. You're not allowed to, you know, you wouldn't be allowed to be a politician in this country. That's true. And I'd have to. Wait, I could renounce my New Zealand citizen. I am an Australian citizen as well now.

Yeah, right. I did the test and everything. The 20, got 100%? Good on you. I don't even think I'd get 100% on that fucking thing. Sorry, go on. No, no, I'm trying to think what other loves. There's like, familiar or love?

Familiar, yeah, just when you're like. And then there's that like friendship, like, where you've been friends with someone for so long, you're like, am I in love with them? No. Yeah. And then there's like food love. Like when they give you a lot of food,

You're like, you're like, I think I love this person. Yeah. But with friend love, do you think that maybe there's a distinction between love and lust? Like, you can love a friend and then go, yeah, but would I have sex with them? So bizarre that that becomes such a deal breaker. Yeah. And you go, they're completely nice. They're lovely people.

Extinguishes the thought. I might be wrong on this, but I feel like lust can grow, especially as a woman. Yeah. Like if I'm attracted to their, like, as a person. I love this. Let's get a fucking philosophical on the chase report. Yeah, no, I agree. I think it's like the more you get to know someone, the more attractive they become to you. In fact, most people I'm immediately attracted to a dangerous. I think it's one of those things who goes up and then down. Yeah, yeah. The most attractive people are some of the worst people. Yes. I'm saying it right now. Are we talking conventionally?

Yeah. Yeah. Like when you hear them speak, you're like, oh my God. Shut up. Yeah. Shut your mouth. But there again, is that love or is that lust? No, I'm very black and white with that. Like, I'm kind of like, the moment I can't stand the way someone fucking acts or talks, I'm like, yeah, I don't care how pretty you are. Yes. It's why you never meet your heroes. If I ever meet Andrew Garfield, I'm ruined.

Yes, we were just talking about the beautiful people at the Oscars. If he opens his mouth and he was a dickhead, that's ruined it. It's ruined. Yeah, it's like Timothy Shalamey, some of his, he takes himself too seriously. Yeah, I agree. I was like, well, suddenly not attracted to him. Off, switch. How do you feel about that, Charles?

Oh, look. I'm just thinking maybe I should look up who Timothy Shillard one day is Shabalabu Was he in Hunger Games or something?

No. Harry Potter? I'm just going to upsetting. He was in June. Oh right. Dune. Dune.

Dune. Yeah, like there is more than those four types. Don't you love it when you write a show and then in hindsight you're like fuck. This is wrong.

No, I think it leaves room for growth. You can just I just extend the show when you're playing stadiums. Well, I've managed to fit my stand-up bits into those four categories. So it's not changing. Yeah, yeah, fair. It's gone ahead.

What's your favourite type of love? I think my, okay, so my personal favourite would obviously, I would love to feel like, I don't, but self-loat. No, it's your favourite. No, only a massive. Which is also unrequired. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, I have, I have, unrequited love to myself. No, I was thinking about this, I have deferred self-love. Like a year later, I'm like, oh, I loved myself back in 2021.

She was great. Don't you get that? We're in hindsight, you're like, oh, was it she all right back then? And then now you're like, oh, God. Yeah, I went through a weird thing. Like, I feel like in 2016, I was like 20. And I went through that thing of like, everyone's beautiful. And like, you should love yourself and all that shit that you'd put on Instagram.

And then I'd just go home and be like, I fucking hate my life. I hate myself. And I just think now it's a lot nicer because I just tell people I hate myself. It's like a lot. It's better to just say it. Yeah. Wait, so we're posting on social media about how... Oh, briefly.

I also went to a brief, cringe phase of this, my current boyfriend. I love when I say current, like we're going to end. Just saying current, it might not be. I might not be together with him on Thursday when this comes out. Oh, real. No, no, let's hope not. But he always mocks me because, like, he trawled through my Instagram and found maybe like four years ago I went through this.

I went through a very cringe phase. We did, do you know. I did hashtag 100 days of honest posting. Oh, it's my biggest true. Where I was like, oh, it was so bad. I actually like have nightmares about it. And I, yeah. Oh, my God.

I was so on it. Can I look it up? Joe, Joe, Joe. Deleted a lot of them. Oh, thank God. But it was like. You deleted them. Yeah, of course.

I think I got today. But were they honest? Oh, my God. It was like, and I've never been more miserable. Today I cried. It was like I took a photo of my... The first one I took, I remember, was me at a park and like looking gross with sunscreen and a double chin

and I was like 100 days of honest posting. And then I was going down. I wasn't even like day one, day two. I think I started at day 100. Yeah. And I think I got down to maybe 67. So I posted like... Every day.

A lot. Yeah. And then I deleted all of them. Yeah, fuck. I used to just... I never really did like the whole hundred days of anything, but I just did the like... Don't do it.

And don't create a hashtag for yourself. Hashtag 100 days of honest fasting. Oh, fuck. And you know what the saddest part is how much the world has changed? Because back in 2016 or whatever, that was the coolest thing. I think I did it back in 2018. So it wasn't that confident. Oh, yeah, it's falling off the bandwagon there.

But now it's like the lamest thing. But yeah, no, I think the self-hearted. But what level? Can you give an example of? Of the 100 dose of what I was posting. Okay, so one of the pictures I did was me in a costume as a tampon so my mom beautiful my mother is insane and she constantly creates new businesses that don't work um and one of them was a tampon charity business but no money went to charity

and um it was well i think just because they didn't make a profit yeah of course um and it was called anyway she wanted me to dress up as a tampon was it to give people free tampon costumes well no she was like um you like performance why don't you like performance why don't you You dress up as a tampon and write a comedy song for my business. And in a low moment, I thought, you know what? Yeah, I should do that. And I dressed up in the costume. And then I was like, no, I'm not going to do this.

This is too much of a love. And I was studying to be a lawyer back then. So I was like, no, this really is a lot. And so, yeah, I took a photo in the tampon suit. I took a photo. And honest posting, and then did you, was there any words attached to that? Probably something like, oh, I can't remember. Oh, it would have been something earnest and terrible.

About body positivity. Yeah, probably being like, I didn't like how I looked in the stamp on suit. Yeah. I've been there. Sincerity doesn't work. Ernest is disgusting. Now I can't deal with any. Yeah.

It was a small little blip. We've all been through them, you know. The Chaser Report, news a few days after it happens. But love itself is sincere. isn't it? Yeah, well, this is the interesting thing about my show. Can you immediately get, no, no, no. Agreed.

I think if you genuinely love someone, you like make jokes about them. Well, that's why I tell my current boyfriend. That's how we get by, isn't it? But underneath all that joke is there is a bedrock of incredible sincerity and vulnerability. Agreed. And that can be quite funny. I think with First Love, that's sort of what I explore a bit, because I did some mortifying things.

Oh, don't. My first love was both unrequited and cringy as far. Mine ended up being unrequited. But it started. Ended up. Yeah. The worst unrequited love, though, that I had was I had a stalker who was interested in me. And he lost interest in me.

Oh, no. Can you believe that? Like, he was, like, obsessed with me for months. And I was like, I'm going to have to call the police. And then, like, then just suddenly he just was stopped. And he moved on to someone else. And I was like, oh, my God. I mean, I've never.

had such low self-esteem in my life. And then you can't really talk about it with your counsellor. You can't be like, oh, I'm feeling what rejected? My stalker is not messaging me anymore. You know, because it's nice to know someone's interested in all points, you know. There are always options. Plan C. Yeah.

Fucking hell. A creep. Yes. So, yeah. No, but first love, I did so many embarrassing things. My first stuff, I used to sleep. This isn't in my show, but I, um, I used to sleep on, not Zoom, but Skype for like 24 hours.

Yeah, with my partner. That was low. And then we spent like... That's romantic, isn't it? No, it's not. It's not to watch each other sleep and have the, like, laptop there. It's pretty weird. It's a bit weird.

But if you're a teenager, it didn't really matter, doesn't it? I mean, I was legally able to vote. That makes a piece. It wasn't like you were 14. You were just using all the bandwidth of you're paid for internet. Yeah, no, I did, I did such terrible things. And, um, oh my gosh, like I used to wear his clothes when we were apart. I was just an insufferable, insufferable person, yeah, to be around.

And so he became less and less interested in this woman who kept on wearing his clothes. Yes, I mean, we pushed through two years of misery and then, um, you know, as you do. Like, you're normally ready to break up at six months and you're like, you know, let's do another year and a half of this. Why do we do it? So we were living in England and then he moved to Australia and I was like, well, obviously, still going to stay living.

I mean, still going to be together. Obviously, that didn't work out. He decided in his mind that it was over, which, yes, in hindsight, I think it was over. But I hadn't registered it at the time. So then, you know, got with other women. And then I think my lowest moment, I talk about this in the show.

I messaged the girl he cheated on me with. I show that message. That's pretty mortifying. I don't talk about this in the show, but I did also call a library he was at, studying at once to try to get hold of him. Why? Again, this was 10 years ago.

Are you sure you weren't? Gabby's looking at me like she doesn't want to be friends anymore. No, I do. I love people in spite of their crazy flaws. You sure you weren't a stalker? Like his storker? I want him to, you know, experience a stalker losing it. You're reverse engineered it.

It's like, you know, no, it's not a stalker if it's like the week after it ends. Oh, I get it's still struggling to get over it then, you know? And I just want a closure, which obviously doesn't exist. But I was calling that library trying to get closure. Trying to describe what your ex-partner looks like to a librarian and why you need to talk to them. And what was the reason? I didn't, I just said I really need to talk to him. Floyd.

And you know, I was paying. lots of money for the call as well I was calling from England and trying to organise that I know it was sad this is why I'm a comedian guys I'm deeply unhappy inside I also so feel for you

that you had to call a library like of all the places to have to be quiet and she was like I obviously can't find like just call the person I was like he's not answering his phone but didn't you say but librarians are very good at finding things

that's what I was very pushy with the woman I said you know I'm thinking about coming to Sydney you need to go and find him use the Dewey Decimal system Find my boyfriend Yeah So there we go And yeah

Anyway I learned from that experience You can't be that crazy You're gonna break up That was definitely There's the only time that I Oh no I have another time I regret as well I had a boyfriend I was with

Who I absolutely didn't want to end up with Like the whole Every time we're dating for years And all the time I was like to be I mean I don't want to end up with him And yet I was like Anyway But I did try to break up with him at one point

And then he bought me a cake like he knew I was going to break out and he brought flowers and a cake to the breakup in the park and I was like well I mean obviously we've got to stay together I fucking loved the cake and then I stay with him

for another year and a half year and a half that's your exit time I try it six months to end it and then I think no this cake's too goddamn good I've got to see this out and then it's only when it's really

you know it's very bad then I'm like okay I'll just buy myself some cake I guess and so Are there any stories in the show where you exhibit any sense of self-esteem? We're comedians, Charles. Yes.

I think if we're in a show, we'd be professional musicians. No, there's a bit of self-esteem. There's a bit of self-esteem. I look down upon my stepmother in the show. She's an anti-vaxxer, so there we go. There's a bit of self-esteem there. I know I'm above her.

Literally, I've got the Pfizer vaccine. Obviously going to live longer. In the food chain, yeah. No, there's about, I think, an unconditional love a little bit. I've become, yeah, a bit more self-aware, a bit more independent, but more self-aware in my current relationship, which is good. But he had parents who, like, I talk about this in the show as well. I'm from one of seven kids, whereas he is, like, from two parents who decided to have

children, made that decision, really loved their children, whereas my parents just were like, oh, whoops, six times, they're not even Catholic. They just keep making bad decisions. They just love sex. Yeah, with other people. Yeah, so I have, like, this same thing. confusing family tree all my parents hate each other like on a level you can't even understand like I would have to have four different weddings for all my different step

parents and yeah literally whereas his family they're like they love each other unconditionally they love me unconditionally it's fucking disgusting it's like what yeah story book family it's really disturbing you know um so navigating that is interesting because he's got great self-esteem and resilience and then going through the pandemic with him was interesting as well because you're like oh that's what like someone who's mentally healthy looks like in times of turmoil and then we got we actually lived with did he go for walks yeah yes but he didn't need them he didn't need it's always the most selfish yes he even went for walks when he didn't need

them just likes going to oh but like you know yeah because i go through walk because i know it does help you it like makes you feel better like he'd happily like he could spend all day inside watching tv and not feel depressed like i do that and would feel depressed yeah but you know he's an interesting. I don't understand it. We got stuck in New Zealand last year. Is he a psychopath? Yeah, I think. I can't wait to be in a documentary. One day I'm getting on Netflix one way or another

us. I can't wait to work. Comedy special or a Netflix special. Yes, yeah. But no, very resilient. We got stuck in New Zealand last year because the border sharp. Yeah, of course. I am a New Zealand citizen. As we've clarified. As we've clarified.

Charles was really trying to keep out. He was part of that. But yeah, so I was there. And I haven't lived there since I was, yeah, since I was a teen experiencing first love. So it was a weird experience to be there with my current partner and living with my dad and my teenage sister. Yeah, wow. So that was strange.

But yeah, no, we're getting through it. I don't know if it's, I don't know if it's fully unconditional love. I've definitely got some conditions to our love, but he seems to love me unconditionally. And do you find that the audience in the show then want to come up afterwards and talk to you about their relationships? Because I always find that when, like, everyone just wants to talk about

themselves. Yes. Yes. I also love it when men come up and give me a bit of feedback. That's what my favourite thing. Oh, fuck. I love a little bit of that. They're like,

you know what? I have never done comedy before, but here's a little bit of unsolicited. Here's what I think you should do. Yeah. I mean, thank God I'm taken. Otherwise,

I'd be asking for that guy's number. It's funny. Like, the things that people say after comedy shows is I reckon you could write a whole comedy show about. Because, I mean, we just did a fucking comedy show. Charles and I accompanied Charles and James Schleffel. Oh, yes.

For a great standing ovations. Yeah. Oh, yeah, totally not manufactured. Do you get standing evasions? No, I've been watching yours feeling very bad about myself, actually. Oh, wow, okay. Horrible. I should make them stand up.

Yeah. It's almost like that's what Charles and James have been doing this entire time. Yeah. Anyway, but we just did a show in Wollongong, and I have never been to Wollong before in my life, so this might just be a Wollongong thing. But after the show, do you remember that guy came up to us? And he was like, this was the best. He literally just went, so what are you guys doing after the show?

And I'm immediately like, getting in the car. And Charles was like, yeah, we're getting in the car, we're going home. Yeah. And he was like, oh, you know, I was going to invite you to a place that, uh, nothing's off limits. Oh. Literally. Like, these are you're like, yeah, there's a place we're all going to after this where there's no rules and just a good time.

Oh my gosh. Alcohol. And I was like, was this to like, the funniest part was Charles and James being like, oh, I mean, that would have, that sounds amazing. It's just that we've got to get in the car and go. And as he left, I was like, to me, that sounded like, I'm going to get murdered. Oh, I was thinking I'm going to get cancelled. But I'm like that we've got different priorities.

I was that placed with no rules. I'm like, I'm going to get killed. I'm going to get killed and buried in this underpass. I think, in fairness, the guy looked like a druggie. I think he was just wanting to give us free drugs. Which you were all up for. Yeah, I was completely up for, except we had to drive home. Yeah, we had a stupid responsibility to get home safely.

It sucks. Anyway. Yes, no, it is interesting. the audience members come up after and share their stories. I know. And then... Do you steal any of them? But do you go, oh, that's better in my life?

Yeah. No, I haven't been taking audience feedback. And I would rather die. Yeah. I probably have stolen a couple things from my friends that I thought it's funny. But probably not from random people. I've definitely stolen friends stories. Yeah.

For sure, for sure. Or I just exact. Well, actually, when I was at the Oscars that time. Okay. Hold on. This morning. And I was accepting, sorry, I was just taking somebody else's Xenic. That's great.

It's really bad. No, it was really good. You should do comedy shows. Yeah, wow. Should we stand? So your show is called Highly Strung. Yes. It's on at Melbourne every night except Monday night.

From the 31st of March, which is, I think, tonight. Yep. To the 24th of April. And then in Brisbane, 24th of the... May to the 29th of May. Sydney, 18th to the 22nd of May. And in Perth? Yes, I'm going to Perth. I've got it on my calendar. I should know it immediately off by heart, but I don't. It's the, I'm doing it on the 14th of May and I'm doing some gala's and stuff that week that I'm up. Very nice. And have you had COVID yet? I haven't. Oh dear. So at some point it'll

be cancelled. Some point, yeah. So stay check. Either that's getting cancelled or I'm getting cancelled one way or another. It's happening. Good one. Have a great one. I'm looking forward to. I'm going to come down and see you in Melbourne. Woo! Please come share your stories after, Charles. Our gear is from road microphones and we're part of the ACASC Creator Network. See ya.

See ya. Bye.