The Chaser Report - Billboards and Skateboards | Dan Ilic | Nina Oyama

Episode Date: October 7, 2021

Dan Ilic (A Rational Fear) plans to put billboards up at the COP26 summit in Glasgow, but he has too much money and not enough jokes, so the team pitch some ideas. Meanwhile Nina scores some free skating gear to use once Freedom Day arrives, and John unpacks Gina Rinehart’s bizarre speech about climate change. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today's episode of The Chaser Report is brought to you by missing your dad. Here I've prepared a few dad sayings to ease the pain. You got two feet in the heartbeat. Hi, bored. I'm Dad. Sorry, guys, it's chops and veggies tonight. The wheat's been pretty rough. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is the Chaser Report. Hello and welcome to the Chaser Report for Friday the 8th of October, 2020.

My name is Dominant. Hello, Gabby Bolt. Hello, Charles Firth. Hello. Hello. This is our last episode before we got on holidays for a week and bring you a bunch of amazing interviews we spent the last week recording. Oh, wait, I'm not supposed to admit that, am I?

No, no. We'll be turning up every day next week. We're totally live. Yeah. It's all live. We don't sleep. We have a great bunch of people to interview it next week. It's going to be really, really fun.

But we will be taking a holiday. Anyway, there's still plenty of news before we get to that. And Gina Reinhardt has been sharing her wisdom. She's not a woman who gets up and shares her ideas much in public, but fortunately, she's done so this week. John Delmenico has been taking a look at what she has to say. Hello, John. Hi, Gina Reinhardt's back.

She gave a lovely speech out of the school she went to as a kid for the 125th anniversary of the school. And so obviously, in her over 16-minute speech, she spoke about herself and the coal industry for the entire 16 minutes. I don't know that I'd want to hear academic tips from Gina Reinhardt or lifestyle tips either. Well, she did have a big focus on academia when it comes to climate change because she said that she was sick and tired of the anti-climate change propaganda in schools and that she thinks that parents should be making sure it's not being taught

because according to her, the real facts show that coal and CO2 has no effect on climate change because she knows the real reasons are that the earth rotates around the sun, that summer and winter exists, that volcanoes exist, and quote, other scientific facts. Are those quotes from what she said? Yeah, so it took about five minutes for her to get those three points out because like even the part where she said gave your family to check what you're learning. She went through and named every single possible

like variant of a family member who could come and check. Also the entire speech she had a PowerPoint in the background that had a bunch of like memes and screenshots from Sky News but they're not like related either. There's one part where she was talking about Al Gore and she had what I think she didn't realize was an anti-vax meme behind her because it had don't believe science in big,

the science in big writing. But then under it it said don't take the medication it says to. John, are you telling me? that someone's been spreading propaganda in our schools and that that person is Gina Reinhardt. Well, she did make a good point, though. She had a long rant about rich people from one side of the coal debate, giving the government money and she implied corruption so that they can dictate how policies are made and how the debate is run.

There's a catch to this, isn't there? Was she talking about the workers? Weirdly, she wasn't talking about, like, herself or any of the other big fossil fuel industry people who do that. Why would she? The scientists who rudely spend the money they're getting. and to look into the science? Those filthy scientists

spending their filthy science grant money on science things, disgusting. Can I just ask, did she mention... Did she give any life advice about how to sue your children? No, she didn't. But she did give a lot of advice for women, which is great because Gabby's here,

because it's an all-female school. Yes, resident woman here and attentive. She spoke about all the impressive women that inspired her throughout her life. There's a part where she compares herself to Amelia Earhart. and implies that she's Australia's Amelia Earhart? I wish she was Australia's Amelia Earhart

so she could go missing. For all legal reasons, that's not a threat. Please don't sue me, Gina Reinhardt. Although, if she does happen to go missing in the next week while we're away, it wasn't me. Yeah, and if you go missing in the next week, Gabby... That was me. That was a choice. Well, this sounds very inspiring,

but we rarely actually get billionaires coming out and being so blatant about their viewpoint. It was really weird. Like, she did heavily imply for about five minutes that the reason that she doesn't get a lot of positive press is because she's a female. Yeah, that's it. And that they just want to see women not succeed for the same reason why she compared herself to female pioneers who first went to W.A. from Western Civilization and set up there.

Gatekeep. Gaslight. Girl boss. But she said that they've been cancelled by political correctness. Oh. But then she used them to bring it back to climate change at the end of her speech because one other fact she had in their diaries, they mentioned that weather exists. Yeah, well, I mean, I'm convinced now. I've for a very long time wondered how any sane person could possibly think that Andrew Bolt having a TV show was a good idea.

And now I know why Gina funded it. Professional pitch I did, Gina. If you would like to give funding to a different Bolt TV show, I am available because I can produce way better ideas for you, babe. And we can do the memes. We can do the memes for her. Put your money where your mouth is. I'm a woman.

Give me funding. I mean, I guess I'd say that if you're a parent and you hear that Gina Reinhardt's going to give a speech at your school, you should do something about it. If you hear Gina's coming to the school, I wouldn't let your kids go. Thanks, John, for that. But before you go, we've got to mention, today is your two-year anniversary writing for the Chaser. How do you feel? Tired? Is that the right word?

It was two years ago today that you wrote your first article for the Chaser, and it's just been a gold run ever since. I mean, you're the fucking powerhorse of this organisation. Say you're the power horse of an organisation that struggles to make money. Doesn't feel like much of a compliment. John, you've done some incredible writing. Congratulations, mate. If you want help securing more reliable and lucrative work in the comedy industry, just send me a private message and I'll sort something out because two years is too long.

No, no, we need him. We need him. Yeah, I haven't written a single article while he's been here. I know the people from Batuta. Coming up on the show, one of our very favourite people, Nina Oyama, is going to for a bit of a catch-up. And another good friend of ours, Dan Illich, wants some help coming up with Billboard ideas for the climate conference in Glasgow. But first of all, let's go to Rebecca Dana Minow in the Chaser Newsroom. Right after this. Scott Morrison has come out

against a federal anti-corruption commission. The Prime Minister said that it was time for Australians to learn to live with corrupt politicians. Peter Dutton has pushed for with his lawsuit against a Twitter user who he claims defamed him. Dutton, who locked up refugee children when he was Home Affairs Minister, has accused the unemployed Twitter user who said a few unnice things about him of malice. Pauline Hansen has demanded the immediate reopening of Australia's borders. The anti-immigration politician said Australia needed more foreigners so she could start blaming them for everything again.

That's the latest Chaser News. Please, please, I beg of you. Subscribe to this podcast wherever you get your podcasts. Honestly, please, please, I'm begging. I'm Rebecca Deunamuno. It's time to welcome back our good friend Dan Illich of the Irrational Fear podcast who co-hosted this very podcast earlier in the year. Hey, Dan.

Hi, it's good to be with you. Now, Dan, you've managed to get the rarest thing in the world, money to produce comedy. Yeah, well, no one does it anymore. I mean, the ABC is run out of money. That's why they only do three episodes of Question Everything. And so, you know, that's some, you know, so I've got to find money for good jokes somewhere.

So I've turned to the Australian people and really harness everyone's rage about our own climate in action to do something good with it. So what I've done is I've started a Indiegogo page called Jokeeper, and what I've done is I've managed to raise a whole bunch of money to make joke billboards all around the world and not just that other things

as well stunts and other things during the election but it started off with a billboard dom like yeah i had this i had this 12 000 invoice from an outdoor media company in glasgow and i was like oh my god i've got this billboard in glasgow to poke fun at these Australian government but i don't have 12,000 dollars how am i going to get it i'll put it a kickstarter together or an indigo to go it together. And, um, and I put it up online on Monday, um, last Monday last week. And it was at 6.30. I hit go. I had sent it to all the people that listened to a rational fear my podcast. And within two hours, I'd $12,000. People like, yeah, we'll definitely pay you to make fun of the Australian government's lack of, lack of actual climate at Glasgow. So now, we've got a

billboard with three bits of artwork on it for the, for the climate talks in Glasgow, which is amazing, but not any of that, I now have got $136,462 from 1695 backers who want to see more billboards and more ridiculing of this government's lack of action on climate change. So, Dom, I'd ever thought I would ever become a media buyer in country Australia, but that's exactly what I'm done. I've started looking at marginal and regional electorates all around Australia, looking for the pressure points for this election to try and plonk a billboard. I've so far built, oh, let me bring up my spreadsheet. I've got, this is how, this is the problem. Like, I need a spreadsheet to keep track, a billboard tracker to keep track of all these billboards that I'm buying.

This is amazing. So you've, you've hit a financial gold mine, but what you now need is ideas for the billboards. And that's where we can come in. Because if there's one thing we have at the Charter, it's lots of ideas and not necessarily money to put them into action, which is why we've assembled our team to brainstorm ideas for Dan's billboards. Yes, I'm out of ideas. I've only got three, and I'm using them up already. So hit me with your best ideas.

We've assembled the team. We've got Loughlin, Gabby, Zanda and Alex. So all say hello at the same time in an awkward way, please. Oh, at the same time. We're like the shit avenger. Okay, okay, okay. All right, Dan, I have an idea for a billboard for you, right? Now, we think of every, the big figures involved in climate.

right? Scott Morrison, Gina Reinhardt, Rupert Murdoch. Uh-huh, yeah. We need to put them in all their glory on a billboard together, naked in a hot tub. The hot tub on fire, right? And it says climate action is sexier than this. What's the budget to do that for real? Well, you know, Gina, Scott and Rupert are due for a hot tub next week. So we just need to find a paparazzi to take a picture of them.

And a flame throw. And that's all we need. I thought you've got to really pitch on what people know about Australia, which is really just Chris Hemsworth and Croc Dundee. So you could do a fake movie poster billboard that says Croc Dundee 4. That's not climate denial. This is climate denial. That's pretty good. I reckon there should just be, if we're going to target Scott specifically, there should just be a black and white billboard, like white background, black text that just says Jenny says it was fine.

Jenny and the girls want net zero by 2030 that's excellent I think we're getting a bit too imaginative like I don't think it's actually possible for Australia to meet its climate targets we need to be offering something a bit more

believable something that we can do as Australians so we'll be like hey everyone else meet the target goals and we'll take Mel Gibson back And then just a picture of him on the plane, I don't know. Yeah, so while we've been recording, Dom, I've just got approval for two billboards that are going to go up October 25th, one in Armadale, which is Barnaby Joyce's electorate, and one in Kuoyang, which is Josh Reidenberg's electorate.

Now, when they told me that these billboards were not allowed to be political because they're on government land, I had to really tinker with the message. I promised them they were just about climate change. so one said Australia net zero by 2300 has a picture of a kangaroo with flames on it which is great so that's very funny

and the other one in Kuyong has an illustration of a man at a standing desk who kind of looks a little like Josh Frydenberg and it says hey big space it's time to buy a standing desk because you're about to lose your seat so

if anyone listening to this seize that billboard, which is on Barker's Road in Hawthorne, I need someone with a spray can to go and spray Josh on the billboard. Dan, Dan, don't you mean wouldn't it be a shame if? Oh, sorry, wouldn't it be a, say cute. So wouldn't it be a shame if someone of the spray can could go spray Josh on the billboard? Oh, no, then it'd be political.

Then it'd be political. I mean, I'm not going to do it. I live in Sydney. There's no way I'm going to about. The graffiti is disgusting. Today's episode of The Chaser Report is brought to you by missing your mum. I've prepared a few phrases to make you feel right at home. Oh my God, do you live in a tent?

We have food at home. Don't talk with your mouthful. So we've got Nina O'Yama here. Hello, Nina. Okay, I was led to believe there was going to be some giant fanfare of some kind. Oh, sorry. Just before I hopped on the call, Dom goes, Nina, Charles is going to do a thing. And then he's like, Charles, do the thing.

And then Charles goes, hello, Nina Yama's here. What we have is something completely visual. Oh. No, and just... Podcasts is going to love this. To explain what it is. Let's get Lachlan Hodson, our producer. Lockland.

Oh, promotion. What? What is... What have we got for Nina? Nina. I hear that you identify as a skater girl. I do. A package in the mail has come from my second ever sponsor,

Skater HQ. And it's got your name on it. Oh my God. That's awesome. Is this like a prank where like you open the box and there's like nothing inside or something? Is there like, is there a plot twist to this or is this? Are we unboxing live on air? I mean, I will be surprised if there is actually something of value in this box.

But let's see. Well, that's where the surprise is at the moment. As part of my sponsorship project, Nina, I thought that I'd really like to have a skateboard. Because of me. Because of all the inspiration that you gave me. Yeah. The problem is that skating costs money And I don't have that

So I reached out to a bunch of skate shops around Sydney And none of them got back to me But they got back to me And so you used my name And no, just kidding Absolutely, well nothing Nothing happened when I used my own name And so I spent my own money like an idiot

However, the day after I spent the money Skater HQ A family run skate shop in northern Sydney Got back to me saying they'd love to give some free gear So, Nina, you get a bunch of cool free stuff, and I get a free lesson about the virtue of patience. Okay, this is actually really cool. This is actually probably the cool. Wow.

Charles, can you just say out loud what Nina's getting in the mail at the moment? Yeah, because of lockdown, we can't actually get this stuff to Nina because that would be too dangerous because it arrived in the chaser office. Oh, come on, everything opens in like three days. Yeah, you can have this in three days. Nice blue helmet, which is all very ingratienty. I have no idea. I'm not a Skydard. Oh, that's a T-Tool! No, that's great. That's so I'm to adjust your skateboard.

This is the best day of my life. Thank you guys. What? This is great. This is like my birthday. I'm sorry for having a go at you for not doing a cool thing before because then you immediately did the cool thing. Like, I feel so foolish. So thanks to the lovely folks at Skater HQ, Nina scored herself, I believe, a free helmet, some wrist guards, a T-Tool and a couple of Skater HQ hats. Oh, mad. Thank you. So my only question is Nina. resident extreme sports correspondent for the Chaser report. How do you feel now that you're a nerd who cares about safety? Oh no! I actually feel really responsible and it feels great. I look forward to

not getting hurt anymore. Yay! No, I actually asked, I remember because Logan emailed me and I asked for a helmet because I tried to do a trick and I like fell in a bad way and so I was like, I should probably take care of myself. Although I went skating with my friend who's a camera operator and And she said, you're a comedian and a writer. You don't need your legs. It's just content. Which is why I got a helmet, because I still need my brain. So it's good.

I really like how the podcast is turn into Oprah, but instead of the audience, we just give gifts to each other. It's very helpful. I'll see if I can get anyone who's willing to sponsor the entire audience. Go for it, Lachlan. Get them all helmets. So huge thanks to Barb and Bill at SkaterHQ. If you want to check them out, it's skaterhq.com.

I won't be putting my phone number at the end of this sponsor because I've received Too many babes. I'm absolutely inundated by texts at the moment. Too many babes will contact you. Too many babes. Oh, right. Companies and prank calls. Oh, right.

How many girlfriends have you got? All the spam calls called up and they were like, what's your, do you have a crush? What's her phone number? And then they stole her from you. Is that what happened? Nina, you don't know how close it is to the truth. Well, I've got a little reveal for you. I'm the spam caller.

Oh, no. So, Nana, as we've talked to you regularly through the lockdown, you've mentioned that you don't generally leave your room. Really at all, except for the odd skate, what are you going to do now that you actually allowed from Monday to leave your room and drive anywhere in the whole of Sydney? I don't know. I think it's this thing now where it's the paralysis of choice.

It's like when you get up Netflix and you're like, what do I watch? There's so many things. And then you're just like, I'll just stay home. That's what I think will happen. Like, I'll get in my car and I'll get to the edge of my LGA. And then I'll be like, you know what? Newtown's not so bad. It's not so bad.

I'm just going to stay here. Like, I think that's actually going to keep me in. But maybe I'll go skating at like the beach or something. I don't know. I think I really want to go and get in the water. I don't even like the beach that much. But I think it's just like the fact that I haven't been allowed to go. That's actually where I think the real privilege has been during this lockdown

is people that live five kilometers from the beach. Oh, 100%. I mean, I was 10 kilometers and I was fine. But when it went to five, that was it. I had no bodies of water except the particularly polluted bit of the harbour. Yeah, I think we looked it up on a map and we had like maybe like a 10 metre stretch of Kong Wong, which is like a small little beach in La Perouse. I don't remember.

I think my housemates went there one day and they're like, it just, it was really weird because we were too scared to go outside our little zone. Oh, so 10 metres of a larger beach. Yeah, like they, because they have this app on a phone. Well, I think everyone in Marrickville weirdly like polices themselves because if, If you police yourself, then you can tell other people what to do. But if you don't, if you don't follow the rules, then you don't have a leg to stand on when you come to, like, chastise people for not wearing masks or going out of the LGAs.

So I feel like a lot of people I know in the US have been, like, overly militant. You know what I might do? I might go to the club and sit down. I think that's really good. I'll take a chair and I'll listen to the music and I'll just... Oh, is that the rule? Oh, yeah. At 80%.

No, I read this, because you know what the crazy thing is? At 80% it's legal to go to a nightclub. but no dancing but at the same time 3,000 people will be able to gather in an outdoor event. And anyone can go to church but dancing is where we draw the line everyone.

And that's homophobic and also the plot of footloose. Yeah. Where's Kevin Bacon when you need it? I'm going to go to view the mural of elbow. Oh, in the women's toilets at Markville, Metro. Get out of there, John. Get out of there's a creepy man in the bathroom.

Are they only in the women's toilet? I just want to look at the picture of Young Hot Albo. That seems unfair. No, get out of here. What do you do here? Why can't men per-on-hot-Albone? Put the camera away. I just wanted to get a selfie with Albo.

That's my best interview. That's how I talk. He used to babysit me. He used to babysit you. He used to babysit you. When he was at that age, he used to babysit me. How have we not discussed this before? I couldn't get my hands of him.

In all the years we've talked about Albo. I suppose we're so inconceiving. old to you that you know anything's possible like maybe there are only three people back then i just think like once men reach 40 they're all the same age they're 40 they're 40 they're 40 forever kind of like gray area of man yeah yeah and it's all the same so in my brain yeah albo is your age oh right but i also see you being the kind of like weird kid that needed babysitting like a little too long and be like how old is he oh charles he's 15 but he's fine he's just don't let him out he's saying it's not a baby kid that's not a baby baby sitting it's not a baby

babysitter, it's a buddy. And Hot Albo comes over and in his pool... Hot Albo was hired to be Charles's friend. And in his eyes, it just threw some empathy with this poor weird ginger kid. A hot abo is there. I think that might be true. You're right. Today's episode of The Chaser Report is brought to you by missing a sibling.

Here are a few fun phrases to help you remember why it's better that you don't live together anymore. So can you buy the gift and I'll just put my name on it? I know you are, but what am I? Touch my Game Boy. colour again and I'll end you. So next week, we are taking a week off to enjoy Freedom Week in New South Wales, but we have a lot of amazing interviews recorded for you with great people.

So there'll be a new episode every day next week. I don't think we should have admitted that we were taking it off. I think we should just promote it as Freedom Week. We're working extra hard to make you happy. To celebrate the freedom, we're doing long interviews with people rather than topical segments. And they're completely up today. It's not like we've recorded a whole lot of interviews. this week.

We would never do that. And we're all about working through our holidays. And if anything massive breaks, like if, you know, Scott Morrison resigns in shame, we'll come back. Or if Scott Morrison actually does something for once, then I think that would be even more shocking news, wouldn't it? I would just like to ask the state and federal government to just pack it in for a week, you know? Because I don't want anything to drop. I have plans. delicate plans to just sit at home and do nothing for a whole week.

So what you're wanting is you're wanting inaction on climate change. You're wanting no vaccines ordered. Yeah, just stop. Nothing done about misogyny and sexism in Parliament House. Yeah, just stop at all. If there's nothing to report on, then there's nothing to work on. But also, so I think that that's what they're doing. I think that's probably...

Did I just become a liberal member? I'm not willing to break my holiday on second thoughts for Scott Morrison doing something because it's not what he would do. It is not what he would do. He would put up as long as... Because I need to do it for my wife and kid. That's what he would say. Yeah, I don't hold down on a podcast, mate.

So the interviews we have for you next week, we have Will Anderson, we have Julia Zamiro, we have Saul Griffith. It's got a lot of fascinating things to say about climate change. We have Nina Ayama, and who am I forgetting? Mark? Mark Humphreys, yes. Reminis about working with Charles.

When we record that, I just somehow know it's going to be very long and very entertaining. I know that in advance somehow. And what I would say is probably you can skip. the one with Mark Humphreys because, you know, nobody wants to hear about embarrassing things unless you happen to be a workplace on Budsman, in which case, I think you'll have a very interesting time listening to that interview. So check out for that next week. Normally we do the reviews here, but they're only a couple and they're all too positive.

So please leave some ones that pay us out in Apple Podcasts. Five stars is nice, but however many you want to do, we just want stuff to read out. On Friday week, hope you enjoy Freedom Week. If you're in New South Wales, if you're in Victoria. Sorry. If you're anywhere else, you probably don't even notice. Our Gives and Road microphones are part of the Acast, Creator Network. Catchy next week.

Definitely not pre-recorded. Wow, can't believe we're going to be here on Monday. See ya. Sorry, bye.