The Chaser Report - Bluetooth Skies and Tailwinds

Episode Date: June 2, 2026

Dom's voice is sexier than usual today, after our beloved host pulled off a crazy youthful all-nighter. Meanwhile, Charles believes that law enforcement should crack down on Bluetooth devices, no matter the inconvenience. ---Listen AD FREE: https://thechaserreport.supercast.com/ Follow us on Instagram: @chaserwarSpam Dom's socials: @dom_knightSend Charles voicemails: @charlesfirthEmail us: [e-mail] CEO’s Super-yacht upgrade Fund: https://chaser.com.au/support/ Send complaints to: [e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Chaser Report is recorded on Gatigal Land. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chaser Report. Hello and welcome to The Chaser Report with Dom and Charles. Now, Dom, you sound husky. I know, I've been husky for the past couple of days, and it's something I don't want to talk about. Have you had a sort of sexiness upgrade or something? Maybe. It's for listeners to decide.

Oh, God. What do you think? No. I've always wanted to be Richard the love, God mercy. Yes. So, Charles. Yeah. Tell me about your love life.

Should we do a love song request? We should. We should do a regular episode. We'd only be able to do, you know, five seconds of, uh... No, no, we just use AI to come up with our own song. Oh, no. It'd be love song requests of AI song. It is.

No, Charles, I'll reveal the reason why I'm so husky in just a moment. Oh, nice hook. And you've got a, uh... You know, I'm a radio presenter, Charles. I've got the moose. This is why I don't normally talk like. I mean, also, you have an amazing story. Yes, Bluetooth.

Involving Bluetooth. Bluetooth actually had, it actually impacted something, which is really surprising. Talk about that very soon. So, look, it's all good. I haven't wanted to admit, I haven't been ready to mention it until now, Charles, but on Saturday night, I did something I don't normally do. What, you had fun? Yeah, I did.

I had an all-nighter. I had a very, very big night. I had a big night. What? What? How? I was up until 5.30 in the morning. Doing what?

Watching a game of football. Oh. At a pub in Sydney that everyone had, no, Sydney. will know called Scruffy Murphys. Oh, lovely. Oh, wow. To 5.30 in the morning. It was absolutely full of people.

And did you leave with your wallet? Yeah, because you tap, it's great. You've tapped your cards now at Scruffy Murphys, which is a big change from the old day. Yeah, it's a whole tradition gone. I actually, I blagged my way in. There were huge cues, and I managed to. And what did you say? Hi, I'm Dom Knight.

I'm important. I've got a chase to report recording. No. No, it was actually amazing. My brother and another friend, a couple of friends were there. And my brother came out to get me in. There's apologies if anyone's listening. I doubt they will be.

A hundred people were in the queue. And I sort of walked, sauntered near the door, and the bounce was just like, you're going, you're not going to be in trouble. You're an old man. Yeah. You're the ones who are going to spend money. Oh, wow. He gave me a little look like, okay, fine, come on in.

All these young people here are cute up. Yes, yes. And the reason was for a game of football. My beloved team, Arsenal, we're in the final of the Champions League. Yes. Against Paris Saint-Germain. Right. The defending title holders.

Yes. We've never won this trophy. Right. And we were last in the final exactly 20 years ago. Sorry, just going to fall asleep. But as soon as you get to the end, can you just wake me up? Yeah, yeah. Well, that's how I was after.

But basically, we spent, it was three hours long. Oh, yeah. Because it was one all, went an extra time. Extra long. Then there was a penalty shootout. Oh, wow. Okay. A penalty shootout.

Yeah, which is always good. The very last shot, the very last penalty. Number 10. The very last penalty kick was getting ready. How do you know that? The very last penalty kick, number 10. of 10 was being lined up. We needed to get it in to level things.

Or if it didn't go in, that was it. Paris won the title. Oh, fuck. And for some reason, a defender steps up. Gabriel, our best defender, amazing player, Brazilian. Yeah. But for some reason, he decided he was going to take the most important kick of the entire thing. This is not a guy you'd normally get to do penalties.

Like, this is defenders never take penalties. And for some reason, he's there. Oh. He's going, I'm backing myself in for this. No. Oh. As I say, he's amazing. But many people think he's the best.

in the world of being a defender. Right. Is it because you went, well, Arsenal can't win, I better step in and like. Yeah, he had no confidence in, so that's probably right. Let's just say he blasted the ball over the crossbar. Oh, no. It was just the most devastating. We've been there for three hours.

It's very, it's like 5.15 in the morning or something. And yes, it all ended in tears. Paris won again. But didn't they set fire to Paris on Sunday? Yeah, probably. That's what that was. I think it was celebrations. Oh, celebrating.

Because they set fire to the Eiffel Tower. It's very unusual in Europe, Charles. Celebrations and violent riots are pretty much. The Venn diagrams intersect perfectly. I was listening to a report about it and said that people last year when they rioted. Yeah, yeah. People died. Did they really?

Yes. Oh my gosh. Okay. So it's sort of, yeah, it's serious business winning something. So, I mean, obviously it wasn't fatal. Yeah, exactly. But no, so that's why I'm husky. So did you then go out for a riot yourself?

self? Like, did you... Well, there would have been a huge street party on George Street. Oh my gosh, yeah, 700-90 people got arrested in Paris. I thought you were going to say 790 people died. I mean, what normally happens is that... And I've been in this city when this happens. I remember when Korea made it to the semi-final as the World Cup.

People were climbing up on top of buses, a police horse, bolted, all this stuff. I was in Lyca, which is a very Italian part of Sydney during the World Cup once. And the whole, like, crowds just took over the whole of Norton Street. and, you know, maybe even overturned a car at one point. Well, you would. I mean, how can he possibly express your joy without damaging things? It's the European way. Everyone always says, very cosmopolitan, very European.

The one that actually means is violence and writing. Like, if even the French, if even the Insussion French are writing after this, I mean, maybe I got off lightly. Maybe it's good that the team lost. I might have been involved in January the 6th style. Yeah, walk on McQuarrie Street. There might have been a riot, and I might have later been pardoned and given financial compensation by the president.

Well, what would be the Arsenal, the symbol of Arsenal in Sydney? See, the problem is the symbol of Arsenal. So Arsenal arose. Was there anyone else supporting Arsenal there? Oh, Hugh Trump is. It's one of the most popular teams in Australia. Oh, okay, right. Yeah.

No, but don't they always lose? Isn't there a whole joke based around the idea that Arsenal always loses? No, we just, we won the premiership. We won the English title. Yeah. The first time in 22 years. But no, they arose out of the historic, like, Woolwich Arsenal. And when you say we, how much.

effort did you put in. So much to watching the highlights on Stan every morning after the games. No, the symbol is a canon. Like, it's a what? A canon. Because they were from the old, like the Royal Arsenal. That's what the team. Oh, so you go out to north here. It was south hered and go to the cannon. Do you know what? There was actually an event a few years ago where they, they came out and played in Sydney. And because of the cannon thing, they had an event at like Fort Denison, at sunset, and they got all the players out there next to a cannon. And they streamed like the new. kit selection and so on. And I went out there and got to meet all the, all the players. That's a once in a lifetime thing. It was fantastic, like next to an actual canon. And we recorded

it. I said I would record it and play it on the radio and I played at least 10 seconds of the interview on the show we were doing that. You probably don't remember, you were on the show at the time and you probably died forgotten. But it's very nice for me and I have no idea why I give a shit about English football. It's actually, it's very strange. That's all right. We've all got our own weird obsessions. Yeah. Which brings us to Bluetooth. The Chaser Report.

Now with Extra Whispers. Yeah. So, stunning news out of the US just over the weekend. Oh, yeah. A United Airlines flight that was bound for Spain. Yep. Right. And it left from the US got turned around.

Good Lord. Because what happened was the pilot came on the, you know, over the loudspeaker. Yeah. Everyone's got to turn off their Bluetooth news. Now. Really? Yeah. And so, and then they waited for like 90 seconds for everyone to turn off their Bluetooth.

And then they went, this is your final chance. You've got to turn up Bluetooth now, right? Goodness, man. And then, and then one minute later, they went, okay, final, final ultimatum, turn it off, or else the aircraft will be forced to turn around. Eventually they, at least two devices were still active after the deadline passed. Really? Prompting the flight clue to declare an emergency and they diverted to Newark. Now, guess why?

They diverted to Newark because of Bluetooth. Yes. I'm imagining that one of the pilots, maybe the second officer or whatever, was trying to stream. Just hated Bluetooth. Made in Manhattan on his Bluetooth headphones and he's getting a lot of static. Gotting a lot of interference. He kept on linking to John's iPods or something. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, I don't you hate that. He's catching up, you know, Sabrina Carpenter or something over the Bluetooth. Yeah. No, no. No, the answer is that somebody, a teenage guy actually, had set his Bluetooth device name to bomb, B-O-M-B, in all caps. Really? And I mean, oh, my God, there's a bomb on board, or at least a blue-tooth device named bomb.

Yeah. So someone's scanning, I don't know, looking for whatever headphones or something, and they see a device called bomb. Yes. And they thought, well, it's plausible that a real terrorist would. Would a, construct the device using something as unreliable as Bluetooth? Yeah. And B, name it.

Yes. Boom. Yes. I mean, maybe you would. Maybe at that point you're like, I don't give a shit if they don't know what it is. But I think that, like, I know that this seems like a bit of an overreaction because what happened is then they turned it back and then they had 10 agents waiting. I think they were FPI as I mean, waiting like to take charge of the plane. There's always separate police.

You know what the America's like. It would have been some sort of Bluetooth police. And the whole idea was that these agents. were then going to come on board and work out who had planted the word bomb. Yeah, so not planted the bomb. Yeah. Planted the word bomb in the name of a Bluetooth device. Right.

So then they did that and obviously they worked it out because it's being widely reported as being a teenage kid, right? Yeah. But you're going, Dom, you know, a lot of people would say this is a bit of an overreaction. But I kind of feel like, like, Bluetooth is bad. Like, in some ways, you know, like, I would. want, like, when I'm having trouble tethering something to Bluetooth, I want 10 FBI agents to come in and arrest the device and the person who came up

with the device. Like, I think, I think that we should widen the response of this and just, like, hunt down the person who invented Bluetooth. Hunt down, what it was, the Norwegian king, Harold Bluetooth. She was both. Yes. The trial. Yes.

For ruining everything. I mean, it's a good reason for America to join. the International Criminal Court of Justice. Yes, that's true. That would actually help a lot. Because then they could actually bring the Norwegian state to... Wouldn't that be a wonderful thing? To trial.

Well, someone's got to pay, Charles. But it just goes straight. You know those signs you see at the airports that say if you make a joke about bombs? Yes. We will take it seriously. Yeah. I think one of the members of the Chaser, who remained nameless at one point did make a joke about a bomb. Right.

At an airport and I think did discover that that was true. Right. Yeah. that they, unfortunately, if you joke about having a bomb in your bag, they are forced. Like, they don't even have any discretion. They just have to assume that you're not joking, that it's like a guilty conscience or something. But do you think that that's sensible or, like, maybe actually we should just fucking chill down and, like, start exercising common sense? Like, I know this makes me sound like some sort of talkback radio host from the nine and 80s.

But I think it's sort of liby, livid, pamby, mamby. But imagine, Charles, you know, like, you know, feather, I don't know, duster style stupidity. But imagine if there was a bomb on a plane that was triggered by Bluetooth. But if it was triggered by Bluetooth, he wouldn't go off. Completely safe. It'd be safe. But there was no scenario that I can think of where this bomb was going to be a problem. There's not a single scenario.

Name one. And anyway, even if it did sort of momentarily work, it would have lost connection You know what I mean? It would have, it would have, like, exploded for half a second and then stopped. Well, do you think maybe... So, and so what's going through the teenager's head? Well, when he gets... It's actually a good question.

Was it deliberate to freak out people on the plane? Like, was that the intention or was it just... Well, given that they didn't seem to... Like, I reckon what happened is the pilot had a bit of a, you know, freak out. Panic, right? Saw the word bomb. Then, because the way it's being reported is, it's not that the word bomb was then still on there. He wanted everyone to turn off all the Bluetooth devices, right?

So maybe this pilot thought that, oh, well, if you've got a bomb, it would be called bomb, right? Oh, now the terrorist has turned off their bomb device. And that's why I can't see the word bomb anymore. And so that's why when, you know, there were still two Bluetooth devices listed that hadn't been turned off, he went, I will not be disobeyed. I'm going to make everyone's life hell. Do we know if the bomb device was still displayed? Does you remember, like it's like a deputy.

headmaster at a school getting a little power trip out of, you didn't obey me. You didn't turn off your Bluetooth. What if the guy's name was, and I can't think of a name that fits, but what if his name was Oh yeah. Yeah. His name was like, I don't know. Maybe he was like, his name was Bob Om. I can't think of a day which contracted to Bomb, but.

Well, it could just be Bob, Omar, Muhammad. Might be his nickname. Maybe it's his initials. Yeah, it's initials. Oh, yes. Bob Owen, Michael. Gaddafi. B, yeah, Brown.

Yeah, yeah, there you go. Why don't I put a G in there? My head just went to Gaddafi. I'm so right. Okay. I mean, does this make you want to fly United Airlines? Well, it makes me want to fly United Airlines with a bomb. I'll just make sure that I name my bomb, you know, headphones.

And then I'll get away with it. We're part of the Iconiclass Network. See you tomorrow.