The Chaser Report - Breaking Badelaide

Episode Date: August 5, 2025

Today Charles and Dom have a simple PSA to deliver to their dear listeners: "Don't take meth, it's an Adelaide thing to do." Plus, ChatGPT starts talking to Dom like a condescending school counselor and refuses to answer honestly if drugs are fun.---Buy the Wankernomics book: https://wankernomics.com/bookListen AD FREE: https://thechaserreport.supercast.com/ Follow us on Instagram: @chaserwarSpam Dom's socials: @dom_knightSend Charles voicemails: @charlesfirthEmail us: [e-mail] CEO’s Super-yacht upgrade Fund: https://chaser.com.au/support/ Send complaints to: [e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Chaser Report is recorded on Gatigal Land. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chaser Report. Hello and welcome to The Chaser Report with Dom and Charles. Charles, we often give Adelaide a hard time. We often, I say there's nothing happening there. We point out that it's very flat. Yes. That city of churches is possibly the most boring thing you ever praise a city for.

But Adelaide is on something not just to lead Australia, but to lead the world. Oh, really? Yep. Lead the world of 120 cities surveyed around the globe. 120 towns. That's probably just about every significant city you can possibly imagine. Yeah, yeah. Surveied through waste water.

What? Adelaide. You know how they do those waste water service? They go to the sewers. You've been in the sewers. We'll talk about that. So let me guess, Adelaide has the freshest sewer, sewery, just something like that. Is that they're going to be their new tourist?

It may do. Or maybe there's the most discarded wine. I don't know. That's dump it down. The highest quality, you know, Chiraz. Chiraz is the highest proportion of Schrazzan. No, no. The wastewater study, this is from 2017, but admittedly, apparently things haven't improved,

are they had the highest usage of meth in the world, which means that as well as Mirdalade, apparently we can now call Adelaide methylate. It's not a great pun. No, it's terrible. But it's also a way of trivialising a terrible problem. But it's a pun that you might think was good if you had too much me? Yeah, you might. I feel like

maybe... And was that put out by the Tourist Commission there? It's put out by the Daily Mail, which I imagine they found a Daily Telegraph article from 2017 and went back there. Let's take some ads and you and I can just sort of light up on some meth so we can give the full treatment that it deserves.

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Oh, Dom. This is going to be a great episode, isn't it? It's going to be great episode. I don't want to punch things. I know. Let's go kicking later. That's right. I've seen, I mean, I've seen people on meth back when I used to go out late at night a bit more.

I saw someone, you know, sort of smoking it in a car or something. It doesn't seem good for you. I mean, I'm going to see what, I'll see what Gemini thinks about whether taking meth is a good idea. What's Gemini? Which one's Gemini? Oh, it's Google. No, it doesn't. I'll ask you atop.

I'll ask you atlade more recently than me. Did you notice any signs of meth where there's sort of, you know, bunnies with the heads ripped off and things like that? You mean, besides all the meth everywhere? Yeah. Yeah. No, I mean, the thing about Adelaide is it really has only one street. Yeah. Right.

But they rename it as it goes along Heinle Street, right? Yeah, so it's Heinle Street, which has both really quite upmarket, you know, restaurants. That one wine bar is on there, isn't it? Yeah, they've got Peel Street, and they've got Chabot Show and some really nice upmarket, very classy staff, combined with sort of strip joints and, you know, macas at 3 a.m. I remember the macas that at 2 a.m I went to that had absolutely, like, there was just wrappers all over the floor. It was extraordinary, yeah. So I think probably what's going on is it's actually quite a good economic lesson

and maybe other cities should follow it, which is when you combine, you're sort of upmarket bushy people with lots of money, presumably, well, I don't think CEOs would live in Adelaide, but, you know, maybe head of HR or something like that. Oh, there'd be, you know, public servants. Yeah. Yeah, high priced South Australian government public servants. Retired submarine operators and builders. Submarine barons.

Submarine barons. And presumably winery. Yes, that's right. Winery Barrens. But you combine that with the sort of lower-end drug fuel thing on the same street. Maybe the point is that there's more money in the meth economy. It's impressively integrated though, isn't it? You can basically be living high on the hog and VIP and the fanciest places in town.

And it's a short stumble to the squalor. Yes. So you can basically live the high life and then rule. ruin your life within a few hundred meters. Yes. And then if you keep walking, you get on to Rundle Mall, which is the same street. Yeah, yeah. It's all the same street.

But for some reason, Meyer and David Jones didn't want it to be called Hindley Street. Is that the reason why I can't remember? So you could pick up, I don't know, you can go and get some, I don't know, outdated fashionware from Meyer or some dusty shoes. Colonel Light wanted people to, you know, because you know, it's a planned city. It's completely planned. by the light plan. Who, in their right mind, would plan Adelaide? Well, that's, ironically, that's the reason why the CBD's so small and can't get any bigger

because they built, you know, they built the whole grid and they built parks all the way around. So it's kind of hermetically sealed. It can't get any bigger. And at no point during that planning operation, did they go, hang on, maybe. And aren't the parks all numbered around the side? Maybe it should be somewhere completely different. Like, maybe we should build this beautiful fan city.

That's really where they were going on. They sort of finish the design and go, hang on, shouldn't this be like 1,200 kilometres away? In Melbourne, yeah, yeah. No, but if you look at it, look at the, look at the Adelaide CBD. I mean, you might not have noticed this because you were too busy on the myth. But look at this. So the CBD has around it parks. Oh, yes, that's completely blocked.

That's the light plane. Colonel Light came up with that. Well, I've always thought the worst thing about Adelaide was the parks. Yeah, that's right. And then there's north Adelaide's even smaller. See, if that was Sydney, those parks would be traffic jams. Right. That's right. That's right. And North, North Adelaide is so small that it makes Adelaide look big. I think that's the point of North Adelaide. So anyway, so you've kind of got the meth zone in the middle. Now, chat GPT has come back to me. You're taking meth a good idea. Look, it says no, which is just goes to show that you can't really believe. Chechette. Deerty. Yeah. It's unreliable data. Health risks are severe. Addiction is fast and devastating. Mental health deteriorates. It causes psychosis, apparently violent behavior. Anxiety, hallucinations, paranoia. Legal consequences will

that doesn't matter in Adelaide. You list all those as bad things. To me, they're good things. Well, I just asked then, but is it fun? Oh. And the answer is meth might feel fun at first. But that fun in inverted commas is short-lived and comes at a huge cost. He's on a breakdown.

Very similar to the experience of living in Adelaide. Yeah, yeah. It seems fun for the first few days. Well, when you were there last, did you have these symptoms? So what people report is fun early on, a strong rush or euphoric high? I got that when I was there, the festival. Yeah, when you arrive, you sort of go, oh, wow, this is pretty nice. You know, it's out on a lake. You get sort of to see all the... Yeah, I was out till two or three

in the morning at the festival. Then it was great. Feeling energized and alert. Yes, absolutely. Coffee. Well, that's also from the jet lag. Yeah, yeah. You're half an hour high. Very debilitating. Yeah. Increased confidence, talkativeness and focus. Well, I did have more confidence because I think that'll like. It's superior. It was superior to everyone. Loss of appetite and need for sleep, which some people mistake is. increased productivity. Did you have that? Oh, and the mistake that... I think my loss of appetite was based on the food courts of Rundle Moore.

Oh, okay. But also, I would have thought sleeping wasn't the biggest challenge in Adelaide, is it? It's it. Well, I mean, I don't want to cast any aspersions, but some of those... This whole episode is... Some of those fringe acts. Thank you for your patience. Your call is important. Can't take being on hold anymore. FIS is 100% online, so you can make the switch in minutes.

Mobile plans start at $15 a month. Certain conditions apply. Details at FIS.Ca. The Chaser Report, news you can't trust. It's actually a mode I haven't seen in chat GPT before. Let me just, it's saying, so is it fun? Maybe for a moment, but it's a trap. Short-term, long-term destruction.

Most people have been addicted to say they've tried all the highs to get back. life, health and relationships again, if you're curious about the reasons behind the appeal or the effect, or if this is more than just a hypothetical question, I can talk with you more honestly about it. So it's turned into like high school drug counsellor. We've got to ask it to be honest. Because I presume a little go, it's great. Don't tell anyone. It's great. If it's actually great, wink at me. Oh, this is good. Chach it now thinks I have a drug problem. No wink here because honestly, it's not great. And similarly with Adelaide.

This is so different. I don't know whether you're talking about myth or Adelaide. If you're asking, because you're curious, bored, struggling or just want to talk through something, I'm here for that. No judgment. Just straight answers. Okay. Is it more fun than Adelaide? Yeah, this sounds like, this is a bit condescending.

It's a different mode. But I suppose this is, is this what it feels like to be somebody who lives in Adelaide? Everyone talks down to you. Yeah. What? Is it more fun than Adelaide? That's a dangerous. But let's break it down.

Oh, wow. Meth short-term, intense euphoria, hyper-focused energy. Adelaide, short-term, might feel quiet or boring some. Long-term. Addiction, psychosis, tooth decay. That doesn't say good. Is this Adelaide or me? That's meth here.

But again, they're the same thing in a way. Lost relationship, legal trouble. Long-term, actually pretty underrated. Beautiful beaches, wine regions, arts festival, livable lifestyle. Final result. And can I say the beaches are underrated? Are they? Because you turn up and you go, this is the worst beach I've ever seen, right?

And then you get in. And it's actually, you stop thinking about the beach. You have some meth. And then it's like the best beach you've ever been to. So final result for meth, allegedly. Oh, I like this Antarctic water that I'm swimming in. People end up wishing they'd never tried it. And in Adelaide, final result, you stay healthy out of jail and with your teeth intact.

Again, not if you in Adelaide having meth. So, wait a minute. You stay out of jail. Have they not heard of the Snowtown murders? Yeah, exactly. Do you think this is the next? That's why it's the city of churches, Charles, because of all the funerals. Do you think that what's actually going on is this just is a long-term strategy by South Australian tourism?

Because the whole snow town murders. Yeah, it hurt the brand. Put South Australia on the map. Well, it made a prominent. Any publicity is good publicity. And this is the next Salvo's like, well, they've sort of long gone, acid barred. you know, all those jokes have sort of died. We need a

new angle. Maybe meth addiction is our new thing. Do you think that's what's going on? I mean, maybe. I'm also wondering whether maybe they've done a deal with chat GPT. Yeah. If I ever ask about Adelaide, it's very positive. I mean, yeah. It's just really weird. There's a lot of, um, there's a lot it's quite funny. Like it said, so meth is

like jumping out of a plane without a parachute because you're bored of waiting in line. Does that sound smart to you, Charles? It really is like a patronising high school. It's just awful. Adelaide is like waiting in line, but you get to go home afterwards with your dignity and internal organs. So, I mean, basically the premise of this conversation is, yes, Adelaide is boring, but don't

take meth. Right. Which is frankly a message that is yet to sink in in Adelaide. Do you think that would be an effective message? Like, I've got kids at school in Sydney. Do you think that maybe that is, that's the way we should sell an anti-drug strategy in other things? Yes.

You don't take med. It's a bit like Adelaide. Yeah. It's an Adelaide thing to do. Yeah. That's not bad. That is actually really good. It's the Adelaide.

It's nice of Adelaide to take one to the team. Well, apparently they've been doing this for a while. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, what's the message? Well, I think it's very simple, which is... If you want to ruin your life, move to Adelaide rather than taking meth, I don't know. I'm not sure.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. So it doesn't quite work, does it? I know. It's sort of saying Adelaide may be bad, but meth is worse? Yeah, it is. But it's also a false analogy,

because what CHAPUT hasn't remembered is that Adelaide's a META capital of the world. So going to Adelaide, Adelaide and Meth is sort of the two sides of the same coin. Yeah, right. So if you tell your kids, you know how you don't want to go to Adelaide? Yeah. There's lots of meth in Adelaide. So maybe don't take meth either. Yeah, it's a very confusing.

That's too confusing. Okay. All right. I think maybe the point is that Adelaide needs to get, like, something to take the edge off the meth. Like, I'm thinking heroin. You know what I mean? If you're a friend of South Australian Tourist Board wants to come and sponsor the podcast, you could change our mind.

But you know how, like, in the Adelaide Hills, they, you know, they grow like Chiraz grapes and Sauvignon. And then they mix them together. And that's what produces the really great wines. Yes, indeed. You know, you don't just have... Oh, I see where you're going with this. Yeah. I mean, even Grange has a small amount of...

other grapes in it. It's not just pure charades. Is there methane grange? Well, maybe that's... In a particularly... I think that's San Henri, isn't it? I'm not sure. Henski Hill of...

Henshke Hill of Disgrace. Very well done. An actual South Australian wide reference, a wide pun. That's not bad. Look, actually, I must say, I've generally had a pretty good time in Adelaide. I think Henski is what you say when you're on met. Henski. But I make my visits to Adelaide strategically.

short. That tends to be the way to do it. I think that's right. And which is actually the way to take meth. Just, you know, have a strategically short burst. Don't let it take over your life. Yeah. And certainly don't relocate.

So what have we learned from this conversation? Nothing at all. I don't know. But it's very strange that the South Australian Tourism Commission have agreed to sponsor this episode. So we probably should get to the sponsored read part of this podcast. Might they have been on meth when they made that position? That was the talking book.

This was the talking point. Look, I don't know why you ask them to an episode about this situation. But thank you for the money. Yeah, thank you for the money. Yeah, so everyone head to Adelaide, city of mouth. We're part of the Icona class network. Catch you later. Thank you for your patience.

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