The Chaser Report - BREAKING: TWITTER

Episode Date: July 4, 2023

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The Chaser Report is recorded on Gatigal Land. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is the Chaser Report. Hello and welcome to The Chaser Report with Dom and Charles. And Dom, let's talk about Twitter. Let's talk about Twitter. The burning hellscape of a disaster, of a joke of a, was it $34 billion? No, 44. $44 billion, that Elon Musk.

Spence on it's certainly not worth that now. We'll talk about why after this. Are you still on it, Charles? Do you still use it much? So they said that Twitter was rate limited over the weekend. They said, oh, you're only allowed to view 600 tweets a day or something. I don't know whether it's because I don't look at 600 tweets a day or... It's just sort of lost all interest for me.

I don't know why. I don't know whether... Because I just couldn't see... Did you get limited at all? Yeah, absolutely. It was really annoying because the peak of this Elon Musk's stupidity. came during the Johnny Besto thing. So there were heaps of tweets going on.

I was tweeting. I was getting a massive number of replies. And when this all happened, I couldn't see any tweets at all. I could see the odd reply to me and reply to them. But it was like, I'm in this weird little bubble of only hearing your own voice. So in other words, it's what Elon wants to do on Twitter. Yeah, right. And yeah, the entire thing was basically broken during one of the most enjoyable

sort of periods of trolling the British, which was totally ruined. And as with all these things, this was partly an attempt by Elon to get everyone to use his stupid new Twitter blue thing, which everyone is determined not to do. Unless you're basically a right-wing nutter who is team Elon and wants to basically argue with libtards. You don't want to pay for the stupid thing. I used to pay for Twitter. I used to actually pay for Twitter Blue because I thought, oh, it's cool. Let you to edit your replies and stuff. But since Elon took it over, I've refused to pay because he sucks.

So, yeah, it basically is even more broken than it was before. But you've been doing some digging as ever. Yeah. And you know what's going on. So I want to tell the yarn that led us to the place where a social media network, which relies on people viewing things. In real time. It relies on the more views, the more advertising revenue it gets.

To come up with the model of, let's not do that anymore. Yeah. Let's just block people from using our network. And it goes back, it goes back about a month, right? So Linda Yacarino was appointed CEO early June, right? Following Elon doing a poll on Twitter where he said, Do you want me to stay as CEO or not? Thinking everyone would say, of course, we love you.

And he lost that poll. So he had to step down. He's now chief technology officer, but it doesn't matter because he still owns it. He can do whatever the fuck you want. So the thing about this CEO character, Yacarino, is that she is a Madison Avenue big hit. She's basically one of the biggest, most trust.

Advertising executives in America, in the world, really. Sure. So, you know, if you're IBM or ATT or really boring, even Coca-Cola or something like that, you go, oh, yeah, Linda, we love her.

She's so boring and reliable, right? She would deliver us our boring product placement that we want and pay a premium for. Because what she used to do was she was the head of advertising for NBC Universal, one of the largest media corporations in the world, right? So she comes across and she's CEO. Now, I don't know where to put this in the yard, but let's just put it right now, right?

So she was brought on board to make advertisers feel safe on Twitter, right? Which they had stopped doing it. Yes. Because Elon basically turned it into a right-wing hellscape, full of climate deniers and January 6 denies and so on. And so they all left en masse. And so all the revenue just died, right? That's right. Like Elon literally said, let's bring back the Nazis.

A whole lot of Nazis then came back. And then all the advertisers went, oh, we don't want our ads next to Nazi company. It was Twitdilmark, basically. Yeah, yeah, that's right. Anyway, so, big, little, tiny, tiny problem with this appointment, right? Just tiny, just little, I mean, never let it be said that Elon is not a details guy. She had a non-compete clause in her contract with NBC, which means, and that non-complete cause was just basically saying, look, you can go and get another job.

Sure. But say you would have head the advertising for some other company, you know, you're doing that job here. You're not allowed to close any deals or talk to advertisers at another company for a period of time after you've left our company. Pretty stand and stuff. You're basically taking the relationships you've built here and putting them somewhere else. So the point is she's been brought on board, but she can't actually meet with any advertisers. She's legally not allowed to meet with any advertisers. Which is probably fantastic for them because it'd be probably awkward.

If they rang, if she rang them up, they said, oh, hey, Apple, I now advertise with, I now run Nazis or us. Do you want to, you know, get on the mine conf space? Yeah, no. And so advertisers about two weeks ago, this is a couple of weeks after she was appointed, they had one meeting once a year where all the big advertisers get together. It's called, it's in Cannes in France. It's called the Kahn line sort of event. Yeah, they have the awards. Yeah, yeah.

And she didn't even go. Like she was legally unable to go Because she wouldn't have been able to bump in to anyone So instead she stayed at home And, um, and tweeted out going I'm really here to hear all the gossip from lying, right? Oh wow. That's how sort of pathetic was.

Anyway, you know, obviously that won't last forever. At some point she'll be allowed to start cutting deals. But in the meantime, all she can do is sort of go, look, and I'm not allowed to talk to you, but just general vibe wise, Twitter's reliable now. Twitter, you know, you can come back to Twitter. It's fine. It's reliable.

We now have 5% fewer Nazis that are Elon's prime. Yeah, that's right. Just general statements of things. And then over the weekend, Elon goes, okay, a bit of a change of plan. Let's just cut everyone's ability to actually visit the website, right? And so the first thing he does is he goes, okay, what we're going to do is anytime anyone's not logged into Twitter, if they get sent to our website. Instead of seeing the tweet that they've been, you know, they've clicked on from somewhere else on the web, we'll just send them to a login page, right?

And you go, oh, well, that's fair enough. That's what Facebook does as well. Like, you can sort of sometimes see. Yeah, it's annoying. You get to a Facebook link and you can't actually see anything except the login page. You can sort of understand why he did that. It's like... No, but except that on every news site in the world, people used to embed tweets.

They used to basically put a live link. the tweet where you could click on it and go to Twitter. So it was massive marketing for his platform that he was trying to sell ads on. Absolutely. And it made Twitter basically part of the conversation everywhere. And he just turned that off overnight. So there are a lot of conspiracy theories about why he had done this all suddenly. One of them was, so you might have noticed that it went from June to July, right?

So it's new financial year. Oh, yeah. Or whatever. And his Google cloud contract expired on the 30th of June, right? Yes, that's right. There's a lot of conspiracy theories about how he basically had, because he dropped his Google Cloud subscription, right? Like he went, oh, Twitter's not going to be run on Google Cloud anymore. We don't need that type of reliable infrastructure.

We don't need a reliable premium service, yeah. We can run it on this DOS machine that I've got. Yeah, he's got one Tesla's probably brain just running the whole thing. So there was a lot of conspiracy theories that actually he just wanted to cut down on the amount of traffic that we got because it was sort of like having, you know, You know, Labara, which has, like, four gigabyte data plans. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, the cheap phone networks. Cheap phone networks where you sort of watch every kilobite.

Yeah, because if you're running Twitter, the one thing you don't want it to be is vastly popular, because it's expensive. No, exactly. It's very expensive to run. But remember, Elon's not making any money at this point. Like, he's feeling like, well, all these people looking at my network, they're just a burden. They're just costing me money. Yes, yes, there's lots of traffic. and user base of your social network.

The thing that Twitter spent many years trying to build, he now sees as a negative, because they're not paying. Yes, but actually, on further digging, it appears that that conspiracy theory is not true. Because Reuters actually reported that, no, no, no, Elon did, in fact, pay his Google Cloud bill. So he closed that out, and he doesn't have Google Cloud anymore, but it's not like Google's punishing him.

I mean, there were many bills that he didn't pay, right? Yeah. For real estate and stuff like that. Like the Sydney office, I think he closed. and didn't even... Yeah, and so, I mean, look, it's not verified, but, you know, there's sort of... I've read some of those letters, yeah. There's a new theory which an engineer has raised, which is that actually a lot of...

What he also did a couple of weeks ago is he raised massively the price of actually having an API key to Twitter, which basically means you've got... If you're a little coder or programmer, you run programs and bots or something like that, you can pay a bit of money and get access to the sort of firehose of all the data that Twitter has, right? And it went from being a few hundred bucks a year or something like that to $42,000 a month, right? And one theory that the engineer that I was reading said is that actually, probably what happened is a whole lot of people went, oh, fuck this, I'm not going to buy my $42,000 a month subscription for a subscription that apparently keeps falling over anyway. Well, of course it does a lot. Yeah. Instead, what I'll do is I'll just go and do data scraping. I'll just actually use the fact that there's open access on the web. I'll just scrape all the data from there. And so the data scraping side of Twitter completely spiked. And so Elon had to do something about it. So it cost him far more money, obviously. Yes, exactly.

So as with all these things, he tried to make money, but instead massively lost money because he's an idiot. Yes, that's right. So he's managed to get rid of the data scrapers. At this point, he's got this little page that he's put up to. flick everyone over to to log in right at this point what happens is Twitter just goes down Saturday morning it just stops working for everyone in the world and after a bit of scraping some some bright fellow on Reddit actually works it out that actually what Twitter is doing is its own DDoS attack its own distributed denial of service attack right so what was happening was by flicking everyone who wasn't logged in over to their login page. Oh, to the one login page? It was then generating a whole lot of automatically generating like 10 calls per second per user who was doing that. Oh. Referencing itself. Like it was

in this loop of trying to get them to log in or whatever. And so it create the first ever recorded, you know, massive cyber attack that was entire. Highly, like, it's literally the first own goal of a massive crash across the internet. So they took themselves down. So in other words, the chief technology officer, and this is consistent with what everyone said, of Twitter has no idea how Twitter works or how to fix it. And basically, whenever he tries to do anything, it breaks it in a new way. How extraordinary.

I mean, he also, at one point, limited external apps. So I used to use an app called tweetbot to access some Twitter. It was great. And these people spent all these years developing this platform and he just switched it off. one of these days. You just switch it off and denied it. So it's becoming a space where you can only use it if you pay his stupid Twitter blue. And also, TweetDeck, I don't know if you're going to get to this, but TweetDeck, which is this very popular service web-based interface for looking at a whole lot of different kind of Twitter searches at the same time. It's really sort of a pro tool.

He's turning that off in 30 days unless you have the stupid Blue account, which has ruined Twitter because what happens under any post. This happened to me the other day, is that when the Twitter blue tics get onto it, all of their stupid asshole tweets get put at the top of every thread. So I just did this, just random pointless observation. It wasn't in any way interesting. I just had just explained to my daughter why her teachers weren't called Ms, whatever. They were called Ms, right? Yes.

And I just like, oh, God, it's so stupid the way women had to have this sort of marriage-based. Marriage-based system. Like, what a stupid thing. You're defined by your relationship to your man. That's right. That's exactly right. And I got, started out getting replies going, yeah, it's shit isn't a near, and then all these people are like, have you heard of me? And I'm like, yes, that was the point.

But then the blue ticks got onto it. And I started just getting, somehow, it's up to about 100,000 views now this tweet. And it's just full of fuckwits. We've just somehow found it and gone, oh, you're not tweeting about anything very interesting. Well, no, but you're tweeting about the point. And all these people patronising me and basically saying that I'm a cuck, right? And it's just horrible. But in fairness, I say that as one of the advantages of the new Twitter.

So that's right. To victimise Dom. The experience has been, it's great to have a tweet go viral. But what happens is just about any tweet now that goes viral at all, their algorithms ferry it onto the for you thing rather than the people you subscribe to. So people who don't subscribe to you come and basically troll you for day. days on end. It is shit. Yes. And apparently, actually, it's now very hard for newer users to actually find good content,

right? Because basically the algorithm is prioritizing shit, blue, low quality content. Yes. From people you would hate. From the kind of people who, if they said what they said at a dinner party, you would just be like, that person sucks. But the other thing that's reducing the discoverability is that over the last two days, Google has started removing all its search engine's links to Twitter. Oh, wow. So in the past two days, probably by the time you hear this, it'll be more than this. Oh, because they can't access it anymore.

As of 48 hours ago, as of 48 hours into this process, 52% of the links to Twitter that we're in Google have gone. Wow. And the justification is, yes. It's not the open web. They're not part of the open web now. So it's a shit experience. If you search for a tweet and you click on it from Google and you're not logged in, you don't see the tweet.

But they don't, they generally don't, Google doesn't send you to paywall. Yeah, to pay wall or registered content. Yeah. So the main discoverability system on the planet, the main way you just. Or the way you can avoid the blue ticks by going to Google and searching for the high quality content. the Twitter doesn't show you anymore is now completely broken. Absolutely.

I mean, the really sad thing about all this experience with Twitter is that I really wanted to buy a Tesla and you know they've just topped the prices to them so they're not that bad. Like if you factory in the petrol, they're almost affordable, right?

And we know someone who drives Tesla so I won't even show them on here. But some fancy pants person we know as a Tesla and they still seem lovely cars. But I don't trust a person stupid enough to break Twitter in all these ways. with a car that drives on a road and can physically hit into things.

It's fine for Twitter to break down. It's fucking annoying when it does, particularly when Johnny Bestos being an idiot and you can make fun of British people. But imagine a car where overnight Elon just goes, oh, we'll just switch off the brake system because I'm annoyed about paying my subscription to Google Cloud for that system.

You just can't trust this idiot. Well, this is the thing. The Teslers are based on the same business model as Twitter now, which is that you have a subscription to the Tesla service and everything like that. And Elon now has shown his hand, which is that the way he wants to encourage more people to get subscriptions is to decrease the quality of the service to force people to subscribe. So if you buy a Tesla, are you going to be forced to sort of up your subscription over a time? Yes, Tesla Blue.

Oh, God. Otherwise, it'll run over your kid. And it doesn't do that. does, of course, is just make you refuse to ever pay this fucking piece of shit and your money. That's basically where I'm at now. No matter how good Twitter blue gets, no matter how broken free Twitter is, I'm simply not willing to pay. So I'm going to have to be one of these people who goes on weird broken platforms like Mastodon, which I join, which is just, oh God, not only is an incredibly annoying to use, it's full of all these earnest annoying people who want to talk about the Fediverse, which is what they call it, and how great it is. it's not it's it's terrible yeah it's just like twitter was before yeah it's twitter before

anyone interesting you knew was on it yeah the chaser report news you can't trust it's all right dom because there's hope inside is someone going to kill her long is you gonna have to sell it no no no no no no there's a there's a new social network uh that's going to launch in two days time really heard it he here first yes but charles whenever they do this it's like There's another one called Blue Sky, I joined that. No one is on it. No, I know. There's no one's on it.

You sent me a link to it. And the only person I'm following on Blue Sky is you, Dom. Frankly, we talk enough. No, I could be too much. I don't want to follow you. No, no, exactly. So how do you get the rapid scale of Twitter? Basically, everyone important is on Twitter at the moment.

Dom. What do you do? It's called Threads. Threads. By Instagram, right? Oh. Facebook. So it's so funny.

Obviously, it's not Instagram, right? It's Facebook, but Facebook has such a bad brand now. Like Mark Zuckerberg, long ago, Elon Musked Facebook. They're saying that it's an extension of Instagram, but basically it's a Twitter clone. It launches on the Apple store in two days' time. It's already actually been seen on the Google Play Store in Europe. Let me just quickly have a look at this.

It's got a really cool logo as well. It looks like a bit like a weird at sign. right and so it's going to be launched it'll be sort of Friday Australian time threads and Instagram app and the and the weird thing is right that it so it's got all the sort of like it'll immediately have the massive scale that Twitter has right like yes everyone will be on it right so yeah so does it use the same login in his Instagram because if it does Yes. If I can use my Instagram logging in all my followers.

Oh my God. Are you going to tell me Mark fucking Zuckerberg? He's going to save it from Elon Musk? Yes, that's right. And it's also going to federate with Mastodon. So all the fucking wankers who are on Mastodon will be able to interact. It will actually immediately scale Mastodon into something that actually is useful and is not just for us. Oh, now, that doesn't seem as good a thing.

I mean, everyone you follow on Instagram, which is pretty much the same people by now. or maybe not as many, but most people, just having that without the photos with text, that's great. Yeah. All the mastered on dorks, oh, that's worrying. But nevertheless, look, it's not Twitter. At this point, that's something it's kind of like Twitter that's not Twitter. How is Elon going to destroy threads?

Well, there must be some way. He's going to, is he going to buy Mesa? I presume, well, he'll turn it into a trash fire, but isn't the whole point of social media that you get a, A few years usage out of it. Oh, and then it'll go to shit. And then it'll... Well, yeah, I mean, it's interesting because Facebook is the most boring place on the planet now.

I mean, admittedly, this probably reflects the fact that we're middle-aged, Charles. And so the only things... Well, TikTok is where it's at, man. I don't really use TikTok. Am I missing out on the... Yes, you're missing out on the latest recipes. See, and people said this about... What was that thing called?

And it's not just for the kids. Everyone's on TikTok. Or on the TikTok. You always love that. Am I really, am I going to, is, you've got to get on the TikTok. I thought it was just basically handing over everything in your life to the Chinese star scrapers. Yeah, so. It's worth it.

Yeah. Well, you know what? It's better than Elon, actually. It's better than Elon. And it's, yeah. What's a genocide between friends? All right. Look, frankly, I'm, I'm keen to have my views of the Uigh of people reinvented.

So, anyway, so, yeah, on the one hand, you go to the TikTok, the other hand, you could try this out, this new threats thing. Like it does sound probably, if I don't have to re-follow everyone, then I'm there. Because it's fucking annoying on all the other ones. Meanwhile, there is a new plan for Twitter. Oh, yeah. That is about to launch as well. So, you know, you can stay with Twitter and just follow that. What now?

Guess what this plan is? This is the new CEO's plan for sort of getting some revenue back into Twitter, right? They're going to invent, they're going to, you know how if you click on a video, you can now scroll down the videos on on Twitter. Yeah. That's the start of a sort of video-only fee. So you're going to try and... They're going to try on Instagram.

Well, they're going to try and TikTok it. Yeah, or Instagram rules. But Instagram already tried that. So, no, but guess what the sort of value ad that Twitter will have with it, which is, I think, genius. And I think should take us out of this podcast. Like, it is so profoundly just exactly what you would expect that... Like, what is the one thing?

that's good about scrolling through your phone at 3am what's the one thing that sort of makes it workable I don't know I'm always very depressed when I do that look I mean randomness randomness and discoverability

and I'll tell you what the one thing that makes it workable is Dom because you're not going in the right direction it's that it doesn't wake up your partner right oh yes of course the videos are muted yes that's right always muted Linda Yakarino is selling to Medicine Avenue

in very general terms because of a non-competent clause the ability for advertisers henceforth on Twitter to be able to advertise knowing that their videos will always be on sound on videos in the feed it's going to be perfect

I thought the answer was going to be Nazis I thought every video was just going to basically be linear reference style doing advertising but if it is at least the sound will be on. You can hear the jackpence marching across Europe.

Yeah, I mean, look, I suspect what like Japanese at Apple will stop them from doing that. But nevertheless, that is shit. Well, I suppose that ends. I mean, Elon Musk bought Twitter because he thought that right-wing fuckwits were being silenced. Yes, he also thought he could make more money out of it. Well, they're not going to be silenced in the longer.

Amazing. Yeah, I must say, until this very informative update, Charles, which I thank you, I had not previously seen TikTok as less despotic and worrying social network I'm getting on the

top people follow me on there Aguiz from Robot, part of the iconoclast network Heil Elon

No! no! No! Okay. Okay. Nehow, TikTok.