The Chaser Report - Charles's 85th Birthday Special

Episode Date: September 24, 2020

Charles is older and quite hung over. If that isn't enticing enough, Nina looks at Ellen and awful private school boys, Dom checks out Melbourne's singing protesters, and we hear all about The Chaser's big Covid prank at The Star casino. Plus Rebecca De Unamuno with the latest Chaser headlines.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In times like these, it's important to know who you can trust. At last, a new source that's reliably reliable, informatively informational, and never wrong. Unfortunately, you're not listening to it. Instead, you're listening to the Chaser Report. Hello, and welcome to The Chaser Report. I'm Charles Firth, and I'm feeling very hungover. And with me, Dom Knight and Nina Oyama. You sound dusty, Charles.

I am dusty. You look terrible. It was my birthday on Monday. Oh, 65 years young. Happy birthday. How old did you turn? I'm 45. Are you sure?

Because your Wikipedia says you're 55. And you look great for 55. I know. Does he though? No. For 45. I don't know, man. But what you learn, Nina, when you get to 45,

which will be in about, what, 20 years time for you, isn't it? Way more, way more. like 30 actually. I'm very young. Is that you can't have a big day on Monday because you still feel the pain on Friday. This is horrible. I knew you were.

We obviously get softer with age. I've been saying that too. Yeah. But it's taking you a whole week to recover? I am still tired. I'm tired. What classifies it as a bender at age 45? Is that staying out till 9pm?

8.30? No, we had lunch. My wife and I had a lot. We had a couple of bottles of champagne at lunch. I'd never want to get old. Yeah, particularly like that. Nina, I think you're in no danger of getting old like Charles. Why don't we talk about something else?

All right. Well, I've got something I want to talk about. So, Dom and Charles, I don't know if you had muckup day back in the 1960s or whenever you're in high school. But there actually has been some controversy surrounding a recent muckup day scavenger hunt at the Shaw School, which, as you know, is an extremely wealthy boys private school in Sydney. Now, you guys grew up near Shaw School, right? Yes, they used to kick down my fence every afternoon, those fuckwits.

Yeah, no, it's, I remember disliking them from a very early age. Yeah, same, because I went to school at North City Girls, which was like around the corner, and they were part of the boys that used to be bullied us on the bus and be a bit racist. No way. Yeah, so. I can very much believe that. So I'm already not shocked by how fucked this, this scavenger hunt list is. But anyway, I'll tell you more.

So The Scavenger Hunt is titled The Tri-Wisid Shornament, which, again, that's a reference to Harry Potter, like, already, already red flag. Yeah, in 2020, Harry Potter's cancelled. Exactly. Like, how could you not know this? But it's... Is it just a whole lot of transphobic stunts? Is that the idea? I mean, like, no, but I wouldn't be surprised if there were.

Next year. Next year. Fingers crossed. No, just kidding. But so this was, this tri-wisid shornament list was leaked by the Sydney Morning Herald this week. And it's basically a list of challenges boys in their final year at Shore have to complete in order to get points. Isn't that the HSC? Yeah, but these are very different kind of challenges.

Isn't the HSC is mostly academic? I think you've got to realise, Dom, that Shore, it's an incredibly rich school, isn't it? It is so rich. Like, you have to be on the list to get into Shore when you're, like, not even born. So you don't, like, so the whole point is you don't need to learn anything at Shore, surely, because you're set for life because your parents are so wealthy anyway. Yeah, and it is over 33 grand to attend just year 12. Yeah, no, it's one of those schools where, like, every point on the campus can see harbour,

like sweeping harbour views. It's obscene. Well, then, therefore, you need to sort of throw yourself into extracurricular activities like this. Of course, so here's some extracurricular activities. Spitting on a homeless person, defecating on a train, getting arrested, doing nangs at McDonald's. Wait, wait, what are they? A Nang, it's like a cream canister that you, sorry, Dom, I forgot you're a nerd. It's a cream canister that you inhale and then it makes you like really tired for about

a minute. Is that why there are cream canisters on the counter at convenience stores? I thought everyone love whipped cream. So you get the feeling of being like 45 years old for one minute. And that's recreational. Well, it gives you like a hit of, oh God, I don't want, I'm not endorsing drugs here, but like, I've tried, you haven't tried Nangs? I've tried Names.

No, of course I haven't. Look at me. Yeah, fair. It's nitrous oxide. It's the stuff that Denses give you. Oh, so it's a science experiment. Yeah, I once had a housemate that was addicted to Nangs, and she used to have to take them to sleep. But you just, you would just inhale them and then pass out, which I don't think is a good way to look.

Well, to be fair, in 2020, I actually want, if it will send me to sleep, I'm in. That's fair. It's probably better than Valium. Actually, no, I can't vouch for that. But I remember the first time I took a Nang, because it deepens your voice. and I was kind of like, I thought it wasn't working because I probably was stoned as well at the time because I was a huge bong rat.

So I remember just trying it, feeling nothing and being like, this is not working. But hang on, Charles has the deepest voice of anyone that I know. Charles, have you been on the nangs your whole life? I'm just constantly on the nangs, man. So look, this Shaw stuff does sound terrible, reprehensible criminal, but I have to say, I thought Shaw boys just wore boat shoes

and sat in a pub talking about rugby. Like, the idea that they would go out and, like, even go to a McDonald's or even, even catch a train, I wouldn't expect to see. Yeah, I think that's why they're defecating on the train because they don't catch them. That's probably what I think as well. And there was a lot of misogynistic stuff. Like one of them was hook up with a belowie who's like a person below the age of 15, I think. Which is such a gross term. Like, it was a term that I hadn't even heard of.

Wow. Yeah, that's not good. That's bad. Yeah, if I haven't. And I know all the gross terms. Like, at our school we called them, we called them laybys because if you hooked up with them when they were younger, then they got hot later, that's like, which is gross. Again, like I had never engaged with that, but that's the term that I knew.

And Boloi is just somehow much worse. You should be an expert witness in their trial. No, thank you. To explain all the terms that they used. Anyway, I'll just be the, like the Gen Z translator. Yeah, it's right. Your Honor, a Nang is defined as... Okay, so a lot of these things are in bad taste,

but some of them are actually crimes, right? Yeah, some of them are legitimately crimes. I mean, one of the goals is to get arrested, which is already like... Oh, look, having done that, it's not as good as it sounds like, it's not great fun, like getting locked up in a cell. In a time where like racial injustice is like very, you know, it's like people who are not white get locked up for literally no reason.

And it's like, oh, going out and being privileged enough to just be like, I'm going to get arrested as a prank. Yeah. It's so facetious. So, and the worst part is in order to like prove that they've done all these tasks, they have to video themselves these boys. Oh, God. Which is that a good idea or is that just evidence?

It's evidence. It's evidence. Yeah, but you've got to realize, Nina, they probably hire their own camera operator to film them. It would be beautifully shot. It would be a war. winning footage. Yeah, well, actually the time I got arrested, this is part of a long story, but I actually, I was showing people streaking into a courtroom, and I'd fucked up, so I'd buttoned off when I was supposed to button on. So there was no footage of the event.

And I got in so much. He thought I'd deleted it somehow rather than being an idiot, right? You always need footage. And look, I was very embarrassed. So the Shawboys did get that part right. You do need the footage. Well, they've actually managed to get around this as well because Is they kind of, because like, I mean, if they have footage of crimes, that's, like, that's not good. The document read, if anyone gets caught by teachers or cops, they will say that they are just having fun between the five or six of them and won't mention the tournament. Beware of COVID restrictions and do not snitch on anyone. Beware of COVID. They're spitting on a homeless man.

What, is there a COVID safe plan for that? Why are they spitting from 1.5 meters away? Well, I don't, but the homeless man isn't COVID. safe because they're getting spat on. It's still not the work. But I'll tell you what, that shows evidence of a guilty mind, isn't it? That is actually... It's actually tedious as what it is.

Yeah, they know it's bad. It's the cover-up. And it's a good lesson for their later life, which is it's the cover-up that always gets you. But to be fair to these Shaw Boys, I mean, I generally sort of saw them as knuckle-dragging fuckwits, but this is, the people who come up with this document are sitting and sells up for an amazing career as corporate criminals.

Like, they're going to be white-collar, just like, Billionaire, embezzlers. That is QC material, right? I mean, all their dads are QC's and they'll get them off. That's the other thing to know. But they can't even, like, they can't even do that task. Be aware of COVID restrictions and do not snitch on anyone. Immediately, like, someone sent this to the paper.

Like, I mean, that's clearly not the mark of a super smart operator, which begs the question. I mean, it costs over $33,000 to send a boy to Year 12 at Shore. What the fuck are they actually learning there? Nanging nagging 101. But also, isn't the list, like I've got it here from your link? It's full of typos.

Well, isn't it the most embarrassing part? Every three word is misspelled. I don't think they're typos, Dom. I think they're just words for drugs that you don't understand. We've got a great show for you today. Coming up, Don, what are you talking about? I am talking about COVID. It's COVID Watchers back.

And we're going to take a good look at the lockdown protests in Melbourne. Nina, what are you doing? This week, I'm talking about. Ellen DeGeneres and her apology, inverted commas. First of all, let's go to Rebecca Dayanamuno with the Chaser News headlines. The Prime Minister, Scott Morrison, has died after trying to show off a lump of gas in Parliament. Insiders say Morrison wanted to replicate his 2017 stunt when he bought a lump of coal into the chamber. Mr Morrison opened multiple gas bottles on the floor of Parliament to demonstrate the harmless nature of fossil fuel.

He told Parliament it was perfectly harmless before swaying around and then announcing he was going to take a quick nap on the floor. Outrage is growing over a land deal that saw the federal government sell land for a fraction of its value. According to leaked documents, Scott Morrison has sold South Australia to a Liberal Party donor for $100, which is five times less than it's actually worth. The federal government has announced a new NBN plan to bring fibre internet to households all around the country. A plan they insist is definitely not what the NBN was meant to look like before the Abbott government decided most people only use the internet for Morse code. However, the government has been able to hide all evidence of the failed rollout by storing it on NBN servers.

That's the latest Chaser News. Check out chaser.com.com.com for all the latest updates. Thanks, Beck. Hey, Beck, I didn't see you at my birthday party on the weekend. Wait, what? I wasn't invited. Yeah, I know. That's why I didn't see you there. Fuck weird. You didn't invite me either. I've only for like 30 years.

Yeah. Did he invite you, Nina? Yeah, I had a blast. I mean, I've only known Charles for about a month, but God, he's a party animal. You were probably nanging, weren't you? Yep. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chase of Report. This episode of The Chaser Report is brought to you by The Shore School, home to a surprisingly large number of bad apples.

The Chaser Report, news you know you can't trust. So this week on the Chase website you may have seen, or even on the news, which it made, a stunt done by some people who've been working with us. They went to the Star Casino in Sydney to test if they're scanning patrons properly for COVID. And they're right here with us to tell us all about it. Alex and Alexa, welcome to The Chaser Report. Thanks for having us. Yeah, thank you so much.

So first of all, congratulations on the response to the video. I think we've had 1.1 million views of it. it so far in the last few days. That's huge. It's insane. So what was, can you run us through, how did you come up with the ID? Well, actually, we frequent Star Casino all the time. Right.

And we were down on our money and we just felt we need some revenge, really. Well, it was when we were, yeah, we frequenting it. And I noticed like I was actually just hot from being in the sun. And I was like, he didn't, he didn't react at all. The thing made a noise. And I was just like, oh, let's actually see. if they do their jobs. And so what did you do?

Well, we tried multiple things. We just essentially brought a lunchbox from my home, filled it with boiling water and dumped a heat pack in there. Oh. And then I just placed it on my head and just realized you actually have to leave it on your head for a very long time. So you started to cook yourself. To heat the skin and I noticed I had a headache.

So when I was going in, I actually had the signs of a fever. That's right. It was like actually just, yeah. And did it hurt? Like, were you scolded? It did hurt quite a bit. I noticed that when I actually got in and like, I don't think it was from the effects of the heat pack still, but my skin, I just heated up and red. Well, I mean, this year has been brain melting for all of us, but good on you for actually doing that.

How hot was your, was your forehead, do you think? At the max, it was 48 degrees. 48, but I think it must have been hotter, though, because I took off the hat before that, so. So, like, 38 degrees plus they're meant to flag. you and take you straight to intensive care basically. I mean, you had 10 degrees more. Yeah. We looked it up.

The record was 45 and so that they died. Like very quickly. So, um, didn't call the ambulance. And even put us on the courtesy bus. Yeah. What did they say to you? Well, he just told me to cool off. And then when I came back, I think his logic was like, surely if his temperature was 48,

he would be dead. So he tried to find another explanation, which was the Russian hat. was wearing. If only the WHO had told everyone to just, hey, you think you got COVID, cool off. Cool off, it was fine. It's just the Russian hats. Everyone in Moscow is fine, you know. Wow.

And what else did you do to try and get in? Well, I dressed up as what I assume a hospital patient looks like. So I bought a hospital gown and I had a drip. I think it was pretty convincing. You looked like a nutter who basically just was heavily sedated. who wandered out of the ICU. I assume that's just what their normal patrons look like. But yeah, so it ended up backfiring a little bit, though,

because the police, like, I guess, what's the word? They caught up to us. How did they spot you? Well, they were so friendly about it because when they approached us, they approached him from a distance. And you could see that they were kind of concerned. But then when they saw me with the camera,

they started laughing. They're like, oh, it's just a prank. We've had several calls about a man of scale. Because it's so easy to escape from hospital if you have the right attitude. That's what I realized. Police won't bother you. Just get someone filming you in this while right out. Finally, you had the t-shirt.

Yeah, that was great. What did the t-shirts take? I said, I have COVID-19. And they just let you in. Yeah, I mean, you know, maybe my writing wasn't that great. I don't know. I tried to make it as legible as possible. But yeah, they let me straight through.

Let me touch all the machines. When he was actually using one of the machines, someone actually came and assisted you. you? I had the shirt on there and told you how to get your credit. Yeah, because they offered me like a $10 credit on my bronze membership, which was brilliant. I'm actually paying me for this

little spook on the podcast. And yeah, but I couldn't work out how to activate it. So I went up with my COVID shirt and asked and they helped me out. I think I want a T-shirt that says I have COVID-19, not least because clearly I'd just be able to move freely around the city. Yeah, exactly.

Should sell them on the Chase store. Well, congratulations. Have you got anything planned next? I think we were going to do a video kind of showing how you guys don't do temperature checks either. Yeah. We're filming this right now. Oh no! We've been busted.

Or you could just go back to start actually with COVID. Yeah, yeah. Well, I like that. In the service of comedy. Do you guys know where to get it? I know a guy. He's in Melbourne. None of the medical advice contained in the Chaser report should legally be considered medical advice.

The Chaser Report. So, Dom and Charles, Ellen did. Generous is in the news again this week because she's come back with the 18th season of the Ellen Show, which not many people thought she would do again because there was a series of rumors. But apparently the rumors are like, her workplace essentially was a hellscape for their employees. So they were told not to make eye contact with her. She would yell at people. She would play favourites and she would fire people on the spot apparently. Sounds like my parenting style.

It sounds like my experience on this podcast. Anyway, but beyond that, producers on the show, have recently been accused of racism and sexual misconduct by the employees. So that's led to an investigation within the show. But, fuck that. Ellen is back. And in her show opening monologue, she actually denied knowing about the behavior on the show and gave a kind of semi-apology.

But before I get into that, I just want to play you some moments throughout Ellen history that have shown she might not have been as nice as we thought she was. Okay. So this is the first clip. It's from her talking to Dakota Johnson about her birthday party. You turned 30. I did. And how was the party? I wasn't invited.

Actually, no, that's not the truth, Ellen. You were invited. So if someone caught you out on a lie saying that they had invited you to your birthday party, would you double down or would you be like, oh, sorry, yeah, that's wrong. We've got a good case study this, Charles. Why weren't we invited to your birthday party? Oh, I'm sorry. Well, okay, so Charles, that's quite an elegant way out by apologizing. But Ellen does not. She doubles down. But I did invite you and you didn't come, so...

This time you invited me? Yeah. Are you sure? Yeah. How do you know? I don't think so. Ask everybody. Oh.

Wow. Ask Jonathan, your producer. Who said you were? I wasn't invited? Why didn't I go? I don't know. Was it... Was it...

Oh, yeah, I had that thing. So she totally got caught out in a lie. She was gas-lighting. Dakota Johnson. Wow. Yeah, so that clip went super viral, and the internet actually figured out the dates of Dakota's party and the dates that Ellen was watching sport with George Bush

and figured out Ellen did Dakota's party to watch sport with George Bush. With George W. Bush. With George W Bush. The well-known homophobic George Wormin Bush. Oh, my God. Yeah, and so it's very interesting that Ellen's built her career on being an LGBT icon, but she'll hang out with the homophobic George Bush. So, I mean, I feel like that's like if, you know, you didn't come to my party because you were having lunch with Tony Abbott.

But, Nina, you never invited us. Oh, yeah. No, I did. Where were you? What? Just kidding. I would never invite you to my parties. You just couldn't handle it.

Now, forgetting you weren't invited to a party and trying to convince someone that you were, it might not actually seem that bad. But Ellen's done even more questionable stuff. So when she had actress Sophia Vergara on the show, she tried to teach her English. Oh, no. Yeah, keep in mind that Sophia is Mexican, but she speaks fluent English. She's on a show called Modern Family, which is an American sitcom. So here's the exchange, and it's pretty uncomfortable. I have been trying to teach myself Spanish, so I've been doing a Spanish word of the day.

Oh, really? Yeah, so I thought I would teach you an English word so that... Oh. Okay, I know English, very much. Okay, I know. Was the word racist? God, I wish. So after this exchange, I meant Sophia's such a pro, she goes along with it, and Ellen mocks her accent the whole time, and she gives her some words like flabbergasted, and Sophia nails it, because she speaks English.

But then she throws this word at her. What about discombobulated? Discom, wait. Say it again. Say it again. I told you this. I knew that was a better one, and he goes, tell her to say flabbergasted. Discombobulated. Discomlamblubulated. Wait, I give me like three times fling glomblast too late.

Discombe, come here. Come here, discombobulated. So Ellen chose a specific word she knew Sophia Vigar wouldn't be able to say just so she could poke fun at her accent on live TV. What a fuck? Why does anyone watch, no, I would watch this show. She's being awful. Yeah, she's being awful.

And also, who says discombobulating? I've never heard someone use that in a sentence. I think a lot of Ellen's fans would have been after that same. But I mean, just imagine being on her staff. Yeah, if she's doing this. Like, if she's got like Latinos on the staff. Yeah, she's doing it live on here. What is she doing to the staff?

Yeah, yeah. Well, that's not even the worst thing. So one of the most famous Ellen's mean moments actually came from Mariah Carey back in the early 2000s. So Mariah Carey, there were rumors that she was pregnant. And when there's rumors someone might be pregnant, what do you normally do? You don't say a word. Don't ask. It's like the rule.

The rule is even if they're 40 weeks pregnant and they're in labour, you still don't ask a woman whether they're pregnant or not. Exactly. But guess what? Ellen, instead of doing that, tried to force Mariah to drink champagne on her show to prove she wasn't pregnant. She tried to force a possibly pregnant woman to drink alcohol on TV. That's awful.

Yeah. Wait till you hear it. There's rumours. Don't discuss that. All right, well, you don't have to end it. No, that's okay. No, honestly, you don't have to end up. Let's just toast with champagne and decide.

Would they've been saying that since we? Oh, I can have some champagne. It's just fattening. You can't have champagne? That's not champagne because you can have it. No, it is. Is it really? Yeah, you want to taste it? I can't believe you did this to me.

I don't. And then she drank the champagne. Oh, that's excruciating. Mm-hmm. And guess what? This year, Mara actually came out and revealed that she was pregnant at the time of the interview, but she didn't want to reveal it to people because she was actually having complications. And later she had a miscarriage. And I don't think it was

because of the Ellen show, but it was, Ellen was, you know, pressuring her into drinking alcohol. Why you don't ask, particularly on television with champagne. I mean, how could we have possibly known that Ellen had a toxic work culture? Where were the signs? I mean, the thing is, I just always thought Ellen was this happy, go lucky, lovely, always dancing. elf who is just really funny and innovative and a pioneer. That's because I never actually watched the show. Yeah, man. She is straight up evil. Anyway, but

her show, again, it came on air this week and they've had higher ratings than ever, I'm pretty sure. Oh, really? Yeah, and so let's fast forward to this week where she apologized on her first episode of the show. So this is the way she began the apology. If you're watching because you love me,

thank you. If you're watching because you don't love me, welcome. How was everybody's summer? Good? Yeah? Mine was great. Super terrific. So there's two things here. Firstly, she's like, is this a way to start an apology by saying,

even if you're hate watching me, you're giving me views? Yeah. But also it sounds like she was just getting really upset about the consequences of her actions arriving. I know, it's also just like this entire summer has been horrible for everyone with the fires and COVID and she's like, I got called out on my, you know, shitty behavior. Anyway, but she does a brief proper apology after this and then she launches into a monologue about how she's known for telling people to be kind, but actually having this reputation is really hard for her.

There were also articles in the press and on social media that said that I am not who I appear to be on TV because I became known as the be kind lady. And here's how that happened. I started saying be kind to one another after a young man named Tyler Clemente took his own life after being bullied for being gay. I thought the world needed more kindness, and it was a reminder

that we all needed that, and I think we need it more than ever right now. Being known as the Be Kind Lady is a tricky position to be in. So, let me give you some advice out there. If anybody's thinking of changing their title or giving yourself a nickname, do not go with the Be Kind Lady. Don't do it.

Did you hear where she left the space for applause after she said, we need more of that now. Everyone's like, we still don't forgive you. But she didn't intend to be known for kindness. It was actually a mistake in her admin of her career. She meant to just have a moment, but instead she got trapped into saying, be nice to people. She accidentally built her entire brand on being kind.

Isn't that terrible? What a faux par? But it's also like she said be kind because, you know, of the suicide of a gay teenager. and now she's like, yeah, I wish I never said, be kind. Yeah, fuck that kid. Like, it's just so incited. I mean, what kind of marketing should she have come up with to be realistic, do you think? Well, you always lead with your weakness.

That's marketing 101, isn't it? Yeah. It's worked for me. Yeah. With all your weaknesses? Yeah. Just branded myself as a failure. And now I do it professionally.

Yeah, so what should it be? What's the weakness is that you? She's a horrible, horrible woman. Be genuinely unpleasant to each other. That's what you should have said. The Chaser Report, less news, more often. Chaser Report is brought to you by The Shore School. Teach your son all the skills he needs to succeed in the business world,

like spitting on the poor and pooing on trains. The Chaser Report, now with extra whispers. Now, just in case the podcast so far has been just too much fun and too much lightheartedness, it's time for. It's our look at all things COVID the disease and news sweeping the world. So Charles and Nina, actually some quite good news this week. Numbers are finally looking good in Melbourne. The curve is flattening.

They've had a couple of days in the past week or so when numbers were in the teens. What that means is the lockdown has definitely worked. If you look at the curve, it goes way up and then it goes way down at about the same rate. The lockdown's probably going to be over soon-ish. The Premier is going to look at a loose. this weekend in Melbourne. Are you saying that dictator Dan is finally loosening the rules? Yes, it's almost as though he's not really that much of a dictator.

Oh, no, I'm sure Hitler and Mussolini also loosened the rules from time to time. But he made people have to go to sleep at 8pm. That's when bedtime was, 8pm. That's right. And so, look, given that things have been looking bright, it seems quite strange that the weekend before, there was another anti-lockdown rally. Here's a clip from the Nine News Report.

Protesters have Swarm Chaston Shopping Centre singing a John Farnham anthem to mark the third consecutive weekend of anti-lockdown rallies. Down the barrel of a gun! Is that a good way to protest what you call the dictatorship in a lockdown singing John Farnham's You're the Voice? No, when you sound like that.

Oh my God, at least get like a good singer if you're going to protest something fucked. Were they trying to make people not, join their course. Maybe it was a sort of, you know, there was an agitator inside their group. If we sing John Farnham, everyone will join us. Yeah, I feel like there's some like left-wing troll

that's like if we sung John Farrman, everyone will respect us, just trying to make him look ridiculous. Well, that's funny because, I mean, that was actually better than the next bit of the song. Have a listen to this. I think you can hear the agitator. So my question is, gathering in a mall during a lockdown en masse to sing that song,

which part of that should be the most illegal? I think they should take the advice of the song and make noise and make it clear. Don't sing out of tune. Yeah, I think, I mean, that song really should be illegal before 1am. I think you're allowed to break out and only in a pub. Yeah, I think if Dan really is a dictator, he's got to make. sing that song ever. You get shot on sight by the cops.

But also, isn't the one place that is open in Victoria is supermarkets? Like, isn't it the one place where they were actually allowed to congregate? Well, get on to this. Because the organisers of this were quite clever within the general insanity of being anti-lockdown. They said, go to Chadston, buy some essential items first, so you're there legitimately. Then we're going to do this big sing-along. Right.

John Farner's manager came out and said, do not sing the voice anymore. That was not for political reasons. It was just on taste ground. To be fair, that performance does make John Farnas sound like a good singer. So look. Actually, I think that guy with the strained voice was John Farnan.

So they were just out there in Chadstone with a bunch of toilet paper and hand sanitiser singing you're the voice. So here's what happened after that. But a few minutes later, demonstrators scattered to avoid police. So it was kind of a flash mob. They bought their stuff, got together, sang you the voice, and then dispersed.

Is that a good strategy? Well, just let's look at this broad sweep of history. We had, you know, Gandhi led a mass movement of non-violent protest. Yeah, the people power in the Philippines, those big protests against Marcos. You know, Mandela had a 27-year war of terrorism and student protest. And then we've got the Chadston Fun and FlashBob. That's iconic.

They were there for 10 seconds. I also would like to point out that Chadstone is actually, it's the biggest shopping center in the Southern House here, isn't it? Oh, it's not actually called Chadston. It's called Chadston the Fashion Capital. I did a gig there and we weren't allowed to call it.

We had to call it Chadston the fashion capital. Like it is the most bougie fucking place. It is. It's the first place I ever saw a T2. Put it that way. Yeah, right. So that's what happened. So they all assembled there.

And the strange thing is, it actually worked. Like the cops in their big trucks, the big riot police, got there too late. So it was a total success, which is why I don't entirely understand how a journal was there

to record these batshit opinions. We're having a freedom gathering, yes. There are potentially far more people that will lose their lives due to the lockdown measures. This is freedom of speech and our human rights have been violated. and it's disgusting. But hang on, the fact that they got to sing their whole fucking song

and then pretty much get the whole protest over and done with without, you know, getting super interrupted. Seems to me that they actually do have freedom. Seems to me that I don't know what they're protesting. The freedom to sing John Farnham. It doesn't seem to have been curtailed as much as I should have, frankly. But look, so you've got to be impressed by the organisation of this, right? They were pretty clever about this one,

that they got out of there before the riot cops came in. They got away with it. There were none of those scenes of sort of violence and scuffles with the cops as per last time. And here, how's this for clever? They'd then organised another protest right afterwards elsewhere. Demonstrators were then told to go to Footscray market, but no one showed up.

Yeah. No one showed quite as well. Well, you know, the other thing, though, Footscray is in like a lower income area. So presumably all those rich, you know, conspiracy theorists were like, oh, we're not going over there. We've done our shopping at Chadston, the fashion capital. We won't be going to Footscray.

I know, they should have held it in South Yarra. Then they actually would have showed up. But look, I think my favourite comment during that nine news report, which is where all that audio is from, by the way, I came from this bystander who was also in Chadston trying to buy essential items. How about coming to help us out in the COVID wards? Come and help us out. Come and help us out.

Are you a nurse? Yeah. The Chaser Report. Less news. Less often. The Chaser Report is brought to you by The Shore School. Pay $33,000 a year to raise a fuckwit. The Chaser Report, news a few days after it happens.

Well, that's The Chaser Report for another week. Hey, hang on. It's late-breaking news with Rebecca Day and Emuno. How could you possibly seem surprised in 24 episodes of the same thing? Well, it may not have been this time. It's the hangover. Albanese has unexpectedly excited millions of Australians by finally standing up to Scott Morrison in Parliament. However, disappointment quickly set in after it became clear the opposition

leader just wanted to fix the Prime Minister's tie. Well, that's it for another week. Check us out on all our socials and including our YouTube channel, which I don't know how to find it on YouTube. Do you know anything about searching for things? You've got to search for the chaser on YouTube and it's one of the 15. There's a search bar, I believe, and you can just type whatever you want to search for into the search bar. This is such good content. I can't believe we aren't ranked higher in the Australian podcast rancor. Go on. Give us a five-star review on Apple Podcasts using the code. I went to shore and I'm sorry. Oh, hang on, hang on. I've just found out the URL to our YouTube channel. It's YouTube.com slash chaser.

I remember I set that up, so people wouldn't remember it yet. Okay. Well, we've got a new stunt video up there, which everyone should check out. That's it. Thanks for our producer, Mike Liberale, and we're going to leave you with a special ad for a very special school. Do you want your son to become an arrogant fuck stain who thinks it's funny to shit on a train? Entrust his education to the Shore School for Boys.

At Shore, I learned out of. rip a cone on the harbour bridge, get kicked out of Mossman cellars, and do names in Cremorn Maccas. Admittedly, I failed my HSC, but we had some jolly times. Hmm, maybe Cremor Maccas is hiring. The shitheads we produce at Shore learn practical skills they'll use their entire lives, like sack-wacking strangers in the balls. I spat on a homeless man. Not because of an end-of-year prank, it's just something we do on weekends. You can't get an education like that at a public school. guarantees parents there will be no consequences, even when their boy's criminal antics make the papers. Our old boy, QCs and judges will make everything go away. Sure taught me not

to listen to women. It was the perfect preparation for becoming an Anglican priest. Sure. It costs $200,000, but the privilege is priceless. Hey, voiceover lady, you're a three out of ten. Can we have sex on camera? Uh, no. I'm afraid I'm above the age of six. Oh, bugger, there goes another 20 points.