The Chaser Report - Chaser Report Extra - 15th June 2020

Episode Date: June 14, 2020

The latest Chaser news from Rebecca De Unamuno. The government has backed removing a statue of Captain James Cook in Sydney’s Hyde Park after learning he came to Australia by boat. A demolition firm has saved millions of dollars, after it told Rio Tinto there was a sacred site under a building it had been hired to pull down. And Pauline Hanson’s “All Lives Matter” motion has failed to pass the Senate, after she insisted it be written using white ink on white paper. Plus a round-up of other stories from around the globe from Andrew Hansen, Charles Firth and Dom Knight. 
 See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Chaser Report, Global World International News Headlines Update with Rebecca Dayunamuno. The government has backed removing a statue of Captain James Cook in Sydney's Hyde Park after learning he came to Australia by boat. Peter Dutton ordered the removal moments after he found out Captain Cook was a foreigner who came here by boat and refused to adapt to the local culture. Scott Morrison said he agreed with the move as James Cook caused harm to the country he holds closest to his heart, Hawaii. A demolition firm has saved millions of dollars after it told Rio Tinto there was a sacred site under a building it had been hired to pull down.

CEO of the demolition firm said that just by placing a few significant indigenous artifacts around the demolition site, it was destroyed faster than you can say, why aren't the miners paying tax? Pauline Hansen's All Lives Matter Motion has failed to pass the Senate after she insisted it be written using white ink on white paper? Senators struggled to read the motion with many asking her to please explain. That's the latest news headlines. Check out chaser.com.com.com to stay up to date.

Now it's time for Charles, Andrew and Dom. Thank you very much, Beck. Now let's dive into some of the news stories in great depth and unnecessary detail as we hit International Global News World Rounder. Hello, yes, you're with Andrew Hansen, and I'm chatting to our global international et cetera experts, Charles Firth and Dominic Knight here. Look, let's kick off with a boozy story, shall we? There's an Aussie gin manufacturer who, I'm afraid to say, this week, had to recall their product. And the reason for the recall, perhaps understandable, given the circumstances, it turned out that these gin bottles were accidentally full of hands.

hand sanitizer instead of gin. Now, just to be clear, the news article I read says, and I quote, hand sanitizer is not safe to drink and should not be consumed. Oh, that's clearly someone who's never drunk hand sanitizer. It's a wonderful tip of it. Well, I mean, should it have been recalled at all, Domney, I don't know. I don't think so. I mean, that stuff is absolutely priceless, and so much so that many alcohol manufacturers

started making hand sanitizers during lockdown because it was more valuable than that stuff. People were using gin to wipe their hands during lockdown. I think what they should do is the people who've got it, should count themselves very lucky. Put it on the shelf until the next pandemic. They won't regret it. Yeah, and the good thing about hand sanitizer is it's twice as strong alcoholic. It's got 70% instead, like 40% alcohol.

So, yeah, so the thing is, it's just, like my hot tea, and it's completely drinkable. Like, don't believe the experts. You know, there's just a sort of nanny state thing. because they don't want you to go blind drinking it. You know, it's such a fucking nanny state attitude. We're all right, old's here. We can drink hand sanitizer if we want.

Yeah, it's your choice to go blind. Yeah, free drinks. But you know how you go into the pub now? They always have hand sanitizer on the counter as you come in and stuff like that. Hot yet, what you do is, yeah, you just order a soft drink and then go squirt, squirt, and then you got your hand sannie and coke or whatever, yeah. Draw your own. Draw your own.

It's kind of a, like a draft. It's draft hand sanitized. Yeah, it's on tap. You know what's really nice when you get one of the ones with aloeira. Delicious. So soothing. So soothing on the belly. Moisturizes you inside.

Fantastic. I wondered if they could just rename it. I mean, what do you think? Can you think of a good name for an alcoholic beverage that's full of hand sanitizer? It's called vodka cruiser. What about instead of brandy, handy? Would that work? Yeah, go into a bar and ask for a hand.

Handy, they'd be great. Yeah, or handy shandy, worse. Or maybe taffila. Oh, not even, that's sounding grotty, Dommy. That's something wonderful. To be honest, all these puns are hand-based, and I think they could be misinterpreted. Oh, you don't have any more, do you? I pray.

No, no, have you run out? What about having a finger-licking liquor or something? No, no. Stop immediately. All right, next story. in the news now. Frisky? No, no, stop it. No more. We're going to move on. Now, Lara Bingle, model Lara Bingle and actor Sam Worthington from the Avatar movie have welcomed, according to the news, they have welcomed their third baby, and the headline says, in secret. Yes, they've welcomed their

third baby in secret. My first question to you, Charles, on a scale of 1 to 10, how successful have they been at keeping this a secret? Well, I think that Lara Bingle should probably become a spy or something because it's so secret. Her powers of secrecy. It's a power of secrets. It's incredible. I'm not as impressed as you guys because, I mean, sure, if she'd managed to get away with

no one noticing she was pregnant normally, that would be fine. We've all been in lockdown. It couldn't be easier to hide the baby bump. And the baby bump looks like a lockdown bump anyway. It does. It's true. We've all got beer bellies. But they've done a reasonable job.

I saw her on one website the other day, I think was news.com.com. A headline, Lara Worthing, welcome secret babies. So they've managed to even conceal her proper name. The fans must be going, I mean, the people who run that website must be big fans of Lara Bingal and Sam Worthington, mustn't they?

Tracking their every move. What's Lara Worthing up to today? Well, now, this is the other interesting detail from this story. And I didn't know this until I read the article, but their first two children, they've got two kids already, and their first two children are named Rocket and Racer, which begs the question, Dom. What do you think they're going to name the new baby? I think they should just cut to the chase on this one and just call it Worthington. I like that. I mean, I think they should call something like Bob, or something, because that would be nice to the baby.

Rocket Racer and Bob. But you know, you do know what Rocket Racer refers to, though, which is Rocket Racer was one of the Marvel superheroes in the 1970s. Rocket Racer, he fought with Spider-Man alongside his hide king. Oh, well, this is a problem for baby number three then. Yeah. Well, this is the thing. But the third child is always the enemy, right?

Because they always get everything easy. Oh, yeah. So the two older kids always hate the third child. I reckon it should be the nemesis. So Rocket Racer fought anti-fascists, right? That was his thing. And his most evil arch nemesis was a guy called Skinhead. So I think that they should name the third, it's true.

They should name the third child, skinhead. And that can be like the arch nemesis. Poor baby, but, you know. If you're going to put them in order, I didn't know that it was a marble character, but wouldn't you have to write Rocket? Racer, TM. Well, TN. Not a bad name for a kid.

You could pronounce it Tim. Nice. Problem solved. Skinhead TM is the new baby. Now, better than Rocket and Racer. IKEA, guys. Now, this is very exciting to read in the news.

IKEA is launching an Uber Eats-style meal delivery service, which is probably, well, I don't know if this is good or bad news. I mean, what do you think, Charles? What are you hoping to order from IKEA? I'm just worried that it's all going to be flat-packed, and so it'll be all squashed down and everything like that. And I hate the way with IKEA furniture, you have to eat it with an Allen key. It really annoys me.

I can never get it right. And we'll lose the Allen keys as well. We'll be screwed. We can't assemble the food. And we actually ordered some IKEA eats the other night, and just halfway through the meal, the kids just start crying inconsolably saying, that they want to get out of there. So, you know.

I just think it's not an experience you want to replicate. I mean, but the upside would be if they think bigger and they don't just deliver the food. They also deliver the plates, the cutlery, maybe a table. I mean, I think that would be a service. And actually, if they assembled it for you, that would be useful. And then you could eat the warm meatballs off that. I think you've sold it, though, very nice, very nice.

You could eat the warm horse meatballs off that. That'd be great. with Lingenberry. Well, thank you for joining us as we solved the gin-hand sanitizer skinhead, IKEA-based meals, issues of the world. And you can, of course, please subscribe to the podcast. Do us a favour and subscribe to the podcast so that we get the numbers up and please the bosses. You can also check out Charles Firth's Chaser stuff online at chaser.com.com.

He's on Twitter and Facebook and TikTok, this account. Or for real entertainment. just follow Dommy and me on our individual accounts, much, much more entertaining. And we will see you next time.