The Chaser Report - Defamation Apologists

Episode Date: November 24, 2021

After the verdict for a contentious defamation case was given, the team play a classic game of defamation roulette and walk the fine line between making jokes and being taken to court. Meanwhile Lachlan went and watched the stage-musical Hamilton but seems to have come away from it with the wrong idea, and Charles cracks one with another unbelievable story in Furphy or Fiction. Plus everyone's favourite unhinged amphibian from the early 2000's is apparently looking to release new music. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode is brought to you by all the emergency vehicle sounds that were rejected before we picked the siren sound. Hey! Hey! There's cars in the way! Get out of the way, cars! I've got people in here! Get out! Cars! Thank you for your patience. Your call is important. on hold anymore. FIS is 100% online, so you can make the switch in minutes. Mobile plans start at $15 a month. Certain conditions apply. Details at fizz.ca. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chaser Report. Hello and welcome to The Chaser Report for Thursday, the 25th of November, 2021. We have Dom Knight, that's me, Gabby Bolt, that's her, and Alex of Volovich. That's me.

Now, I'm going to read something out verbatim from the City Morning Herald and the reasons are going to become clear when I do. This is like newfound theatre. Defence Minister Peter Dutton will receive $35,000 in damages after he won a defamation case against refugee advocate Shane Bazzy who referred to the politician as a, quote, rape apologist, end quote, on social media. Now, I'm quoting the Herald, so Sue the Herald and not us if that's problem.

Because we've commented before, haven't we, about the notion of politicians using defamation law as a weapon. I mean, Sammy Shah last week had a whole rant about that. But in light of the court's decision, I think it's time to say, we were wrong. Yeah. We were wrong. I love politics. Is there a possibility?

Look, I watched the movie Double Jeopardy once. And I'm thinking, like, if Shane Bazzie has done this, is he free to defame Peter Dutton from now on? That's a great question. Can't get charged twice with the same crime. The same crime. So technically no, but I encourage him to experiment unless that makes me liable, in which case I don't.

You don't really freak me out, though, about this whole article. Because I read that Sydney Morning Herald article, and it chilled me to the bone because they keep fucking putting pictures of Peter Dutton in articles about it. And it's, oh, I just wish they'd stop doing it. You know what I am? I'm a defamation apologist. I think this is fantastic. I just think, it's just pocket money, isn't it?

You get your 35K. Yeah. I mean, that's a extension on your house or... Yeah. Or you can pay for like a year of opairs with 35K. Yeah. You could. You could pick off a hex debt with 35K.

Invest in another child care center. I reckon I could also fix my reputation with $35,000. So could one of you guys just say something defamatory about me right now? And then I can pop on over to the high court and... Yeah? You're a child's apologist. I actually don't think I'll be able to defend that one in court. Gabby Bolt is a bullshit apologist.

Nice, nice. Cool. Because, yeah, I have a really massive hextet in no degree. So it would be really incredible to... To be defamed. Yeah, to be defamed. Coming up on today's episode. Lachlan has just seen Hamilton, which was his first ever live stage musical.

Aw. Wow. Charles is back for another round of fiction or furfies. And given he hasn't been on the podcast all this week, you might think that it was pre-recorded. But no. But that would be defamatory. It would be defamatory. It's live.

And it says here, Crazy Frogs return. Can we, do we have to do that? We got him on. Oh, shit. First of all, though, Rebecca DeHadamino in the Chaser Newsroom. Minister for the Dark Arts, Peter Dutton, has today retained his reputation as a selfless saint by successfully suing an unemployed Twitter user for $35,000 over a mean tweet.

In response to the verdict, Dutton told reporters he'll be glad to put the allegations behind him so he can get back to his passion, Locking up child refugees, calling journalists a mad fucking witch and cracking jokes about Pacific Islanders losing their homes. Scott Morrison faced the media looking surprisingly confident today while facing questions regarding his latest scandal about him getting caught out in yet another blatant lie.

Reports claim that the reason the PM is able to maintain this level of smug confidence is that he is fairly sure that the next lie he tells, will be the one to fix everything. The religious discrimination bill has undergone a last-minute name change to become the really just-for-discrimination bill, which more accurately reflects its motive. The bill has been hailed for its efforts to protect multi-millionaire rugby players from the advances of rainbow cakes. That's the latest headlines from The Chaser Report.

I'm Rebecca Deunamuno. Thank you for your patience. Your call is important. Can't take being on hold anymore. FIS is 100% online, so you can make the switch in minutes. Mobile plans start at $15 a month. Certain conditions apply. Details at fizz.ca. This episode of The Chaser Report is brought to you by

all the emergency vehicle sounds that were rejected before we picked the siren sound. Yep, it looks like there's just a whole lot of cars here. It's not like there's anyone dying in the ambulance. That's fine. You know, just stay where you are. Don't worry about it. Just an air person. What does that matter?

So, Lachlan's here, and he's just saying his first stage musical, Lockeland. Hey, oh, yes, I have. Xander came to me and he was like, hey, man, I just won the lottery. And I thought, sweet, rent's not a problem anymore. We're all sorted. He was like, no, no, no. You watched rent. I watched rent.

Yeah, no, I wish. No, what we did do was we watched Hamilton for the $10 tickets. Oh, cool. And look, I'll be real. I was a bit reluctant going in. I wasn't really sure. Reluctant. Those tickets are worth like $150.

It won like 12 Tony's reluctant. You know, it's no, it's no, it's no, Bo Burnham. I'm not a theatre kid, you know. I try and steer clear of that. So I wasn't really sure going in. But now that I've watched it, I'm on board. Oh, you're on board. Well, yeah.

I mean, I'm glad we devoted a segment to you joining the 99.9% of people who have Zine Alison and thought it was amazing. Well, yeah, in case any of our listeners aren't sure if they should spend the $150, maybe they can enter the $10 lottery as well. Yeah, and if you're on the fence about whether to say what, none of the Michelle Obama called the greatest work of art in any medium this century, sure. Lachlan will be the vote that convinces you.

Actually, I'm pretty sure I heard Melania Trump say the same thing a few years later too. So, look, what brought you on board? I mean, aside from the obvious incredible piece of art, like what was it that made you go, actually, this isn't so bad? Obviously, it's a historical show, and I really enjoyed that there were things that I learned about history or learnt from history. Yeah. And there are a few things that I thought maybe might actually be worth bringing back. Really?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like hip-hop rap battles in Parliament? Or democracy in the United States. Oh, that too, yeah. Well, so one of the first things that I thought, you know, let's bring it back from history. Corsets and Wastecoats. Really? Oh, chef's kiss.

Okay. They made everyone look hot. Yeah? Everyone. I heard they're also kind of painful to wear. Yeah, restricted. They're a little. Although,

corsets have been making a resurgence in fashion. I know. So I suppose you kind of did call that. Although I'm not sure that's really the main focus takeaway. I just think that historical garb genuinely makes everyone look hot. You want to kind of wear velveteen and have long hair. And like the boots that go up to my knees. You do realize everyone in the cast is a professional dancer.

Like, I don't know. Like, imagine what a corset would look like on Charles. I don't have to imagine. It's all right here. I'm a pragmatist. I think it could work. One of the other things that I thought, you know, I learned from Hamilton is cheating is okay. Oh.

If you self-publish it. Okay. So for those who haven't seen the musical, Alexander Hamilton cheats on his wife. Yeah. But then to defend his reputation, he writes a whole thing called the Reynolds pamphlet that he publishes and shares everywhere so that he gets to tell his side of the story and his wife's not happy. So here's my thinking. Who's in the news right now? Tim Payne.

Tim Payne, whole dick pick scandal thing. Okay. He could solve the whole problem if he just publishes the dick picks himself. Right. No, Lachlan, I'm starting to worry that you haven't taken away what was intended of this musical. Okay, okay. Well, okay, maybe this one, you know, another thing that I did learn. Okay.

You know, I think is a sentiment we all came out with. Bring back the monarchy. No, no. What, leave? We still got it. No, but George, the third, had total control of it. America and he was mad and horrible. But he was so funny.

He was pretty funny, actually. And what I figured is, you know, next time someone leaves the queen, she has to sing her national addresses about it. And that would be fun to see too. In the style of a kind of British Invasion 60s rock song. Yeah. Actually, I would like the Royal Family more if they did more show tunes. That's certainly true.

Well, I mean, Queen Liz did announce that small hiatus. Maybe she's rehearsing her role. She's certainly rehearsing something. Look, Lachlan, I think after all of this, you know what? I mean, A, I'm happy you went to the theatre, but B, I think you should maybe recontextualise it. I got one more. I got one more that, you know, and it's sort of, you know,

the ending of the show, there's that really quite sad, emotional B, heartbreaking, heartbreaking, because there's a duel, and it sort of brings back the recurring motif of what happened to Hamilton's son. Yeah. And that made me think, is we bring back dueling. Jesus Christ. No, my God. Lockland.

Hear me out. Genuinely, hear me out. It's way more efficient. Is it? Tons less casualties. You think about this at the hands of guns in America. Way less casualties would happen if it was a totally legal and ritualized situation. It is legal and ritualized.

Did we not all hear the car written house trial this week? That makes sense. That's a good point. Murder is legal now. I mean, I'm appalled and shocked by what you have to say, Lockeland. It's disgusting. Except that. Who wouldn't worry?

Watch a duel between John Barrelaro and Framley Chorty. Come on. You know what, Lothun, I think I'll just set you a task. I think you should watch the sound of music if you're a fan of recontextualizing things to bring that. What's that one about? You'll find out. This episode is brought to you by all the emergency vehicle sounds that were rejected before we picked the siren sound. I am an emergency vehicle.

That means there is an emergency. Get into the left lane. I know it is a pain. But just please, get out the way, you stupid cunt. Fiction or Furfi. It's time for another round of Fiction or Furfi. This is the segment where Charles tells a story, and our panel, in this case of Zanda and Alex,

I have to work out whether it is fiction completely made up or a furfi, which is something that is fundamentally true, but just a bit exaggerated. All right, Zanda, are you ready to go? You got the last one, right? Absolutely. I've got my Charles investigative skills primed and ready. And I think that I'm going to crack this case.

All right, Alex, are you one from five at the moment, if I'm getting correctly? No, zero, zero from five. This will be the one. This will be the one. I can win this one. Charles, crack one, tell one. Okay, so you might have actually heard some of this story before. But a customer actually contacted me yesterday about this

that reminded me of this story, which is, so back in 2019, just before the pandemic, The government announced that the budget was back in black. Do you remember there where they made this huge announcement? But it was one of these, we've done it, next year announcements. It was literally, we're in surplus next year, right? And the next year was 2020, i.e. the year when we weren't back in surplus. Anyway, we thought this was very funny at the time. And so we decided to get printed for merch purposes.

uh this mug which had back in black just like because the liberal party was selling back in black mugs and we decided to get them printed up so they looked exactly like the liberal party's things but with black crossed out and instead a huge fucking deficit written in red so it's like back in a huge fucking deficit anyway so we got a couple of hundred of them printed i thought you know we made a bit of money out of merch and times this won't be too hard sold them actually pay extra for a nice little gift box, because I thought, you know, they're pretty fragile. And posted them out, you know, I was paid extra with the dispatch people to bubble wrap them and

everything like that. Every single one of the mugs that we sent out broke. We, within a week, had 170 people contact us complaining that they'd basically resist it. And not just slightly broke. They were smashed. Some of them were just smashed. They were just completely annihilated mugs. It was a complete disaster.

Anyway, and so I'm just going, what the hell? I paid extra for the bubble wrap. And it turns out that the dispatch people had gone, oh yeah, bubble wrap. And they'd bubble wrapped the gift box. So they hadn't gone in and wrapped the mugs. They'd protected the really nice gift box. but completely left the mugs exposed it was terrible there was plenty of space to smash inside

anyway so we then we then printed another round of them sent them out did it properly still half of them smashed and to this day like literally two years later there's still people contacting me going um can you know can we get one of those no they're all smashed like the budget in fact yeah that's right it was very appropriate let's start with zander Is it fiction or furfee? Oh no, it's definitely a furphy.

If anyone knows how the chaser operates, having smashed mugs is right in line with our business values of exceptionally underperforming. All right. I think it's a furphy too, although it did feel a bit weird. It was a bit too much of a coincidence that everything that went wrong was completely out of Charles's hands. I'm not a huge fan of that. That might be the exaggeration. All right, so both of them are saying

Furfee, not fiction, Charles, what's the answer? Yeah, it is a furphy. And I feel like this was a bit of an easy one, especially as Zander actually started at the Tacey in the dispatch department. So he's probably got some inside knowledge. Yeah, I remember you breaking down crying just with a broken mug in your hand.

Why? It was such a catastrophe. It's so, oh, we lost so much money. If you're a long-term podcast listener, Charles stuffing up merchandise is just such a long, long-term feature of the show. There you go. This is Bain Fiction or Furfi, Furfi, unbelievable.

Thank you for your patience. Your call is important. Can't take being on hold anymore. Fizz is 100% online, so you can make the switch in minutes. Mobile plans start at $15 a month. Certain conditions apply. Details at Fizz.C. This episode is brought to you by all the emergency vehicle sounds that were rejected before we picked the siren sound.

Ah! He's going to die! Get out the way! Are you insane? God! Oh my God! Oh no! He's all crazy!

Oh no! Oh no! Please just move! Just move! Just move! Just move! Go away! Go, why?

Yep. Just before we go, there's big news in the music industry today. Oh, yeah, the Grammys, of course. John Batiste is amazing, 11 nominations. So many incredible nominations. The Bridget and the musical got nominated? No, I mean, sure, that's kind of interesting. But no, a really big artist is coming back,

someone we've been waiting for for a really long time. Oh, my God, Brianna! Kind of, this artist captured the world's imagination in 2005. Everyone heard this song. Oh, wow, long hiatus, yeah. He's a frog's back. What? Back in the studio.

Oh, God. No, hold on, what? Yeah, crazy frog. You guys remember a crazy frog. Yeah, which was a guy from Norway or somewhere doing an impression of a motorbike, and it became like an audio meme. Yeah, it was great. How is that not dead?

That was terrible within one day of release and it topped the charts. Well, if it was so terrible, how come he's back in the studio, recording a new banger. Sorry, wasn't he an animated avatar? How could he be in anything? Yeah, so was Rihanna. Oh, sorry, right now. All that they did was. But they got songs like XLF that were quite good,

you know, Hal Falterma, and they just added the, a ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, do bullshit to them. So, no, hold on, is this kind of like when an artist re-invents themselves? Like, are they going into a new era? Oh, yeah, is he got an acoustic phase? Is this, like, Crazy Frog going through, yeah, like a ballad phase? You know, is he going to whack some ding-dongs on some fucking piano ballads? Jazz standards.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Autumn leaves by Crazy Frog. Stormy weather. Ding, ding, ding, ding. No, God. Apparently, it's very similar to what he used before. Well, there's only the one clip.

Like, it's literally, it's called the annoying sound. I remember we just had it on radio. And it's only about a minute long. It's just one guy doing a terrible impression of a, of a motorbike or lawnmower or something. I mean, the crazy thing is this is in the news and there isn't actually a new song. This is just an announcement that he's going to record. Oh, he's taking the Scott Morrison effect.

He is worthy. Maybe he's like booked out a retreat somewhere like, you know, maybe with the Beatles. He's going to Rish-A-Kesh. He's just really finding his. sound um i think this is hilarious i think what could be exciting this could be the return of jamster and those like oh god who you can text to get to get sounds on your phone i'm actually kind of psyched for this now i can't wait that's stockhone syndrome which is where you love your timid ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding you guys were young in the 80s i mean some of so much of your music was shit that

you would look back fondly on now okay this is my bowie that's why he's so offended by it because like axel f was his like coming of a heapsom it actually was beverly hill's cop was a big soundtrack to me? You know what's really fucked actually? The idea that so many people your age probably lost their virginity to fucking... Excellent. Oh God, that's very strange. Gabby, you just said, Crazy Frog was your Bowie. I challenge you to do a Bowie cover with Crazy Frog. Fuck. It's a god-awful small ding, ding, you know. On tomorrow's podcast, Gabby Ball performed.

Crazy Frog. I think it made me have to write it now. With David Bowie, our Goose from Road Microphones are part of the Acast Creative Network. you in the afternoon edition. You're a crazy frog apologist, Bolt. Careful now. Don't throw around some defrogmation.