The Chaser Report - Donald Trump Steals Election

Episode Date: November 6, 2024

Charles and Dom react to Donald Trump's apparent win of the 2024 US Presidential Election, and speculate what the world is in for over the next four years. Would Kamala Harris be within her rights to claim the vote was rigged and assume to certify it? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Chaser Report is recorded on Gatigal Land. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chaser Report. Hello and welcome to The Chaser Report with Dom and Charles. Hello, Charles, Election Day in America. And look, what's your reader? I know you've tried to pick every possible outcome at this stage. And, well, and I would like to say I am 100% correct. Because we had a big episode about this late last week.

Which is that the Republicans are there, and Trump himself, are out there trying to steal this election. Donald Trump, he spoke at Mara Lago, just an hour or two a go as we record, and he claimed victory. He claimed victory. He was introduced as the president-elect and that he advanced the vice president-elect by the voiceover person, and the election hadn't been called. But the thing, no, but the thing, this is interesting because the thing that he's using a tactic that no one saw coming. right everyone was going oh it's going to be through lawfare it's going to be through jamming the courts it's going to be through you know shutting down polling booths so that the democrats can't get the vote what the way you might have heard that theory on our podcast actually i think our very

podcast said exactly that but yes what's actually happened charles what's your real well no it's a whole different tactic which is to get more votes than the opponent right oh gosh yeah and that No one saw that coming. The pollsters didn't see that coming. Which is actually identical to what Trump accused Biden of doing in 2020. It's 2020 all over again, where the person who is going to end up president has actually got more electoral college votes than the person who will end up not president. Which is just, I mean, you know, I mean, it's the madness of the American system, isn't it, that you can have an outcome like this? What's better than a well-marbled ribby sizzling on the barbecue?

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There's really no way that Kamala Harris can claim victory. It's important to note that she doesn't need to give up. All she needs to do is to say that she won. And I don't know why she hasn't come out. She hasn't come out and given a press conference at all. People waited for eight hours at her victory party at Howard University of CSB. Where was she claiming victory before Donald Trump? and sending the narrative.

But also pointing out that the person, like saying, what you could have done is just come out and quoted Donald Trump and say, look, this election is clearly rigged. I agree with Donald Trump. I'm using as all my evidence the stuff that Donald Trump has said. I reject the result of this election. Any result where I don't win. I reject.

She could say the same thing. But also, Charles, she's the vice president of the United States. She's in charge of certification. January to 6th. Now, admittedly, they've gone since January the 6th, since all that, and they've clarified in quite some detail that the Vice President can't do that. But what's to stop it? Biden's the commander in chief. All they need to do is send out the military, take the ballot boxes the way Trump wanted to at one point,

just stop it in its tracks and refuse to leave. Who's going to make them leave if they don't want to? You don't think Biden's going to want to leave office after this? No, exactly. He must be filthy. Well, I don't think Biden knows about the result yet, so... Yeah, it's quite possible. By the way, did you see there was a graph on CNN, quite an extraordinary one?

As of a little while ago, Kamala Harris had not outperformed Joe Biden in a single county across the country. They brought it up on the computer, unless it was an error or something. They were trying to just to see where did Kamala Harris do better than Biden, and they couldn't find a single place. Yes. Well, you know who I blame. Who do you blame? Women. I think women are to blame for this.

A lot of women did vote for Donald Trump. There's no doubt that a lot of women voted for Trump. The whole point is they went, okay, well, we'll put Kamala in. At least women will vote for her. And well, okay, women, come on. What'd you do? Not our fault. Well, they voted for Trump in 2016 as well.

We were always going to vote for Trump. White women voted. Yeah. You're not blaming men. Well, men predictably were going to vote for Trump. But no, in 2016, white women voted for Trump. and in 24, I think African-American women did vote for Harris, but Latinos overwhelmingly voted for Trump of both genders, and black men voted for Trump.

So there was really almost nobody vote. I mean, I think Tim Walls voted for her, but I'm not sure who else did. No, no, yeah. Look, I know that we can sort of sarcastically become disappointed because I don't know whether you know this, Dom, but I was actually going for Harris. I know that... Were you going for Harris?

Yeah, there was... I know that we have such a rigid veil of impartiality that... It's very hard to tell. There's so many layers of sarcasm and satire that you call it multiple times in each direction. I think called it for Trump months ago. So it's hard to know who you actually wanted to win. I was going for Harris. You know, as, you know, I tend to lean in that direction politically right.

But I'm wondering... whether actually the truth is, Dom, that we should just admit not only that we lost, but that we're wrong. And we should actually start adopting the values and the political sort of attitudes of Donald Trump. Like maybe we should look where the wind is blowing and go, actually, he got it right, he's right. And we are wrong. Yes. Well, I think it's certainly true that in the Trump era,

I mean, we've got a clear path here in the second Trump era. Either we can complain and whinge and talk about all the outrageous things that happen. And lose. And lose. Yes. Or we can get on board. I mean, there's a clear, there's a bandwagon. Look at what Elon Musk did, right?

Yes. There's a clear, you just need to become a supplicant. Well, to that end, I have this afternoon converted all my money into Bitcoin. Well, you would have made money already. Doge coin. Doge coin. Yeah, doge coin. and I have sacked all my workers

That's the thing Reduced the size of everything Yeah Yep And also I now Inexplicably hate Mexicans I just hate them Yeah yeah

What about the food Do you think about Donald Trump is he's been picture Trump's been pictured eating Burrito bowls and taco bowls and things But he doesn't need to like people from that part of the world I don't know who makes the tacos And I think that You know we need to start

Stopping Mexicans coming to this country Don, really, honestly. Do many of them bother? I don't know. Build a wall along South Australia, just in case. All right, you build the wall and who will get to pay for it? New Zealand? No, Mexico.

Mexico always pays for our war. I can't see. Yeah. Okay, very good. What about the mass deportations? Because that's something he's promised. And it was a little incongruous, if you don't mind me saying so, Charles, that given the promises of mass deportations, the Latino community was so keen.

I'm imagining everyone who voted Trump in the Latino community was just thinking, well, not me, obviously. Yes. So who can we deport? You know what it would be? Because it would be, you know, say your cousin has illegally come across the border. Right, yeah. And is staying in, you know, your spare bedroom.

Instead of having to sort of passive aggressively deal with your cousin. Oh, yeah. You know, like, you know, they don't clean up after themselves or, you know, they have bathroom habits that you don't agree with or whatever, what you do is you vote for Trump and then problem solved, you don't have to have a... An awkward conversation with your roommate.

That is a very good idea. It also means fewer competitors for any job. And Charles, we know very well that the biggest problem with visa overstayers in Australia, right, I think that's the British. Yes, yes. So purging Australia are British people could be very promising.

Aren't you British? You're British. I mean, no, I'm not done of a British passport. I think you had a British passport. No, I don't. It's people who come here from Britain. My wife has a British passport.

You think we could free up the spare room? Because she uses it as a study. I've always eyed that off. Maybe we run a bit of a deportation of the bridge from Australia. There you go. And then I could have the front room. Now you think you. Yes.

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Instacart, groceries that over-deliver. The Chaser Report More news Less often That's interesting Well the other thing So tariffs We've got to

He's called himself tariff man We've got to get on more Tariffs On everything Well I just I like my electronics Costing more Yeah

Otherwise I mean I I never disagreed with that policy I was sort You know what I would like My iPhone to cost more each year Yeah Yeah that's what you want to do So pay more for everything

Yep And then the other one is Ukraine Because Oh, yes. Like, Ukraine's not really going to exist after about 20th of January. No. Yeah. Well, it'll exist, but as a province of Russia.

Yeah, as a province of Russia. Yeah. Maybe that's where your deport people do. Oh, yeah. That could work. That could work. Yeah. This is the great thing, though, about Trump's win and all that it means.

You have a license to look after yourself in your own business. What's Elon Musk doing? He's basically helping his own business by keeping tariffs high on Tesla's competitors. And I suppose this goes to the broader point, which is, I think, I think what I am going to become is just an utter asshole from now on because that that's the values. That's the attitude that Trump embodies, right? And there's just been an overwhelming, like twice now. There's just been an overwhelming endorsement of that that is actually what one should be.

Well, I think we hit the nail on the head in yesterday's podcast, Charles, and we said it's Cheeseburger versus Musley. Yes. No one in the Western world is choosing the Musley. I think if the Democrats want to ever win another election, they need to. read the room. People like people who they know, who are famous,

so get a celebrity, get someone who's a bit outrageous and entertaining, and you don't know what they're going to say next. Don't worry about the values, don't worry about the policy, don't worry about experience, just get someone who's going to make life more interesting. And so I'm just thinking,

is the rock available? The what? The rock, Dwayne Johnson or George Clooney, potentially, or maybe a comedian. Oh, like for Australia? No, for the Democrats. Who are the Democrats going to know?

Oh, I see. You've got to play this game. They can't have these sort of worthy, boring career politicians anymore. No one wants them. Yeah, no, you're right. They need celebrity. Okay. Yeah, but they need sort of wacky, awful celebrity, don't they?

They need, Ellen. Like, you know. That's what they need. And this is what's been said quite seriously, actually, Charles. The Democrats don't have an immediate ecosystem like the Republicans. Yes. That has been so good. Because you know who the next candidate's going to be.

I'm going to call it now. It's not going to be J.D. Vance. You know who the next person. presidential candidate's going to be. For the Republicans? Yeah, it's really obvious. Tucker, Carlson Tucker. Forget Tucker.

Tucker Carlson, whatever his name. It's Joe Rogan. And he'll keep doing his podcast. All American policy will be determined through his podcast. The podcaster-in-chief. Cabinet meetings, three-hour podcast. Yes. In national negotiations, three-hour podcast.

The whole thing is going to be the Joe Rogan experience. Yes. And people will go crazy for it like they did this time. So before we go, though, Dom, we do have to talk about the implications for Australia. The thing is, Albo really is Kamala, but without the charisma. Oh, she was pretty good on the charisma front. Well, she was quite funny, not doing bad at it.

But she just lacked any sort of policy substance or wanting to change or do anything for anyone. Well, this is the difficulty. If we're going to be quite serious about why she lost, I mean, there's going to be a million explanations. But the one that I've heard that it resonates most was that she was given such a tough situation. And Chaz said this a few weeks ago. She had to both try and be different and exciting while also not. distance herself at all from the Biden administration, which was incredibly

unpopular. She should have just distanced herself from the Biden administration. She should have just gone actually, yeah, inflation's shit. Because she's still part of it. That's the problem. It's just gone, oh, fuck it. Well, yeah, Joe is a fucking moron. She should have had nothing to do it. If she'd sat on Biden

from OK, I'd like that. And if Biden had objected, just say to Biden, okay, well, have a debate meet with me. I'll debate you on it. And she would have won't by default, that's true. Yeah. So the thing that, in terms of Australia,

the first thing to note is that Kevin Rudd needs to find a new job. I mean, Albanesey defended it. That's not going to wash. Albo and Peter Dutton immediately issued, even before the election had been called by most news sources. They congratulated Donald Trump and talked about how great the relationship was. He's going to see through that when it comes to Albanese. So I think Kay Rudd's getting a tap on the shoulder.

Oh, but also, I mean, Albo's toast as well. I mean, this is a worldwide movement. But he could put in the right ambassador. Paul Murray is in America. What in his, what are he needs to do? No, Gina Reinhard should be the ambassador. Jenna Reinhardt's at Mar-A-Lago. Of course, that's who the ambassador should be.

So that's something Albo could do. But no, Albo is not looking good at this point. And, yeah, Dutton's in like Flint. There's no way. This is like, we've seen the future. But Charles, the question we have to ask ourselves, what would Donald Trump ask himself if he were asked? if we were in this situation, Donald Trump would ask what is in it for me.

So we as podcasters need to ask ourselves what's in this result for us. Forget the implications for Australia. What about the implications for us? And the implication is we're going to have a much more entertaining podcast for the next four years with Donald Trump in the White House than if Kamala Harris, if we'd had Musley to talk about every four years. So it's great for us. It'll juice our numbers.

Yes. We can sell more. No, I'm going to go through the old stock in the warehouse. and just get out all the Trump jokes. It's fantastic, fantastic result for comedy. Yeah, yeah. No, I know. It's, yeah.

And that is, that's what we all wanted out of today was. Yeah, that's what everyone was rooting for, really. Yeah, the best result for comedy. So it's really, when you think about it, it's a great victory for us. And where are the only ones that matter? Because, Charles, if there's one thing we can learn from this is that, yes, people call Donald Trump a narcissist. But the point is, it's a path to success. Yes.

If you're completely indifferent to anyone outside your own, you know, your own psyche, life is so much easier and you're so much more successful. I'm going to do that immediately. That's my philosophy on life from now. I agree. There is no one on the planet external to me, except perhaps you. And if anything ever goes wrong in your life, just blame somebody else. Preferably from a different race.

Or gender. We're part of the Iconiclass network. All hail the new second Trump era of The Chaser Report. What's better than a well-marbled ribby sizzling on the barbecue? A well-marbled ribby sizzling on the barbecue that was carefully selected by an Instacart shopper and delivered to your door. A well-marbled ribby you ordered without even leaving the Kitty Pool. Whatever groceries your summer calls for, Instacart has you covered. Download the Instacart app and enjoy $0 delivery fees on your first three orders.

Service fees, exclusions, and terms apply. Instacart. Groceries that over-deliver.