The Chaser Report - Dutton Wins Leaders' Debate

Episode Date: April 9, 2025

Charles and Dom share their reactions to the first leaders' debate on Sky News, after they both pretended to watch it. Dom takes a look at how the tariffs have already created a recession in the US. Plus Charles is in a cafe.Watch OPTICS on ABC iview here:https://iview.abc.net.au/show/opticsCheck out more Chaser headlines here:https://www.instagram.com/chaserwar/?hl=enWatch the leaders' debate here:https://chaser.com.au/support/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Chaser Report is recorded on Gatigal Land. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chaser Report. Hello and welcome to the Chaser Report with Dom and Charles. And we have good news and bad news. The good news is that anyone in the world with an iPhone, and I think with Android phones, Charles, can now make a podcast at any time because I'm sick in bed, very husky as you can hear, sounding incredibly sexy, even more so than usual. And Charles, you're just at a cafe in Melbourne where you're just at a cafe in Melbourne where you're

you've gone to do wankanomics, right? Yes, I think the Trump tariffs have already kicked in because I just paid $6.80 for a double espresso. Oh, my goodness. And it also required me to line up for about half an hour and then took another half hour to arrive. But was there a special Melbourne attitude? Was there a surly moustachio de barista

who made you feel infurias? Yes, everyone was very rude to me. And I'm loving it. I just think, I want to move here. Now, there's a lot to talk about today, Charles, not least the fact that we can never get out of doing the podcast again, no fear, given that this technology is available. We should also acknowledge that if you think the audio quality is a bit crap compared to the proper studio, this is what the best podcasts in the world are doing now, Charles.

I don't bother to record properly, not when you can record anywhere, anytime, right? Yeah, that's right. Anthony Scaramucci on the rest of politics will often, I don't know, he'll be in the bathroom or something. You're all the Bahamas. Yeah, the Bahamas. visiting his piles of money that he keeps talking about. And this is the future.

This means essentially, and I'm willing to go out on the limb and predict this, that every single person in the world will have a podcast for Wendy Curry. And every phone conversation will now be recorded for a podcast. I mean, I thought we were just going to forget phone calls and do texting, but this has brought it back. Yeah, no. I mean, certainly I record all my conversations.

just in person with my kids and turn them into podcast. That's right. They're very good, actually. Yeah, it's very Nixonian. All right, Charles, we've put it off long enough. We're going to have to talk about the leaders debate briefly, the first one. And then we may check in on how the world's most consequential bromance is going, Elon Musk and Donald Trump.

Let's take some ads. Maybe you can order another double espresso. I'll catch you in half an hour. No, I can't afford it. All right, Charles. So the first leaders debate took place yesterday on Sky News. It was co-hosted by Sky and the Daily Telegraph. And I think we're the only country in the world pathetic enough that the leaders have to basically go and debate in front of advertising hoardings.

Have you seen this? The Daily Telegraph logo behind them, the News court, whatever it was, Sky News. It is just so undignified to make our leaders basically parade in front of ads for Murdoch stuff. But Dom, you've got to look at... This is a long historical, like, this is a 50-year project that we're talking about here, which is this isn't a debate. Like, I think people confuse the Sky News debate as a debate. This is actually them going and kissing the ring of Rupert Murdoch, right?

And it's become, it's actually ceremonial. It's almost like, you know how when a new king is anointed and coronated? We pay tribute, yeah. You pay tribute, you have a huge ceremony in Westminster Abbey, blah, blah, blah. This is that. You've got to schlep it out to North Ride. Oh, no. I think this was actually in Blacktown or something.

Yeah, it was certainly in West Sydney, yeah. Yeah, they look it up on their map to find out how to get out there. And then they put up some advertising hoarding, all for Rupert Murdoch's benefit. And it doesn't actually even, and as you would have known, like, nobody watched this debate. Like, nobody has possible anymore. This is the genius of it. This is the unintended consequence you've hit on. So it's the Sky News Daily Telegraph People's Forum, it's called.

And the thing, I mean, full credit to the Murdoch organized. for actually bothering. As much as it's a marketing material in marketing campaign to get the PM and the opposition leader out to do this, the fact that they actually give us stuff about politics at all, it's remarkable. And particularly, you mention how hard it would have been. They got 100, 100-over-side voters, Charles.

Dom, do you take care of your car? Yes, you do, because you own it. If you own something, like if you own Australian politics, you're going to take care of it. And look, Dom, I have it on good authority. the reason why they get those 100 people there is because that's how many people watch the debate.

That's what I'm saying. How did they get 100 people? Yeah. It's extraordinary. I'm sure they must have been going for weeks. No, they would have tricked them. It would have been some sort of, that's why they had to have it out in Western Sydney.

Oh, I see. Okay. It was a bit of a scam. So they thought they're going to see Andre Reuerre or something. Yeah, exactly. Now, so not only were there 100 people there, but the results were, I think, we can really relate to because 21 of the voters are undecided.

They would listen to them both talk and went, I'm not convinced by either of them. And I think that really does show it was representative of the Australian population, although surely it would be higher than 21%. I actually took that as 21% of the voters fell asleep. Like I reckon, and when they were going around, you know, the pollsters didn't want to sort of wake these people up because they're in the deep coma vote at stage.

Actually, you know what? And there was no fell asleep on the poll box, so they just ticked, oh, underside. You know what? I reckon you've got it the wrong way around. I reckon the 44 who said Albo won and the 35 who said Dutton won. I think they were the ones that slipped through, and the ones who actually listened couldn't decide which was better because they were so bored. Because let's be clear.

We've got to be honest, Charles. Did you watch the debate last night? No, I was playing to a sold-out audience in Melbourne at that point. At the Athanasam, right? Great. I'm sure my ratings were higher than. You would have had more viewers, yeah. I had my daughter's birthday, but I want to be really clear that even if it hadn't been

my daughter's birthday party, I still wouldn't have been watching the Sky News People's Forum. It would have made me annoyed. So yeah, so neither have the rest of watched it. Because my partner actually decided that she needed to deep clean all the sofa and carpet. What it was. I do with the steam cleaning. just to avoid watching the debate. And your partner is a political junkie, right?

Like, your partner is, you know, could potentially be prime minister one day except that why would she want to be? My favourite reaction, though, Charles, came from, I don't know if you saw this, it came from the Queensland LNP and the National Party, which about half an hour after the debate, they posted on social media, I think it was this, on X. The LNP Queensland official account wrote, Congratulations, Peter Dutton MP, and they've got a graphic saying Sky News debate, and then in very big letters, winner behind his head.

Of course, the point being that he didn't win the debate by the empirical method used, even with the sort of pro-LNP slant that we associate with Sky News, they still didn't win. And the Queensland Nats did exactly the same thing. They had a special graphic winner Peter Dutton, which goes through, even they didn't watch it. Even they just automated the social media, which is an impressive lack of engagement. No, no, no, no, I think you've got that wrong there. It's because they're from Queensland, they don't know how to spell. It was actually whiner is what they were trying to say. Because he complained or there's so many complaints.

He was so angry the whole time. Was he? It was supposed to say whiner. And they thought, oh, well, that must be done this new strategy to just sound like he complains all the time. So, yeah. We don't know if that's true or not. The great thing is we actually don't know whether he complained. We don't know.

We're covering this like Australians. I had a report on their ABC that Dutton was both nervous and at times angry. See, Charles, this is the other thing we can have to look forward to. And I really admire both campaigns for this because it's always hard to negotiate how many debates where they're going to be. And so the first one that the people's forum, no one watching, and it was behind a paywall or at least it to go to the tele website. So no, I'm watching it, not on Freddie Wear TV. The next one, do you know where it's going to be? Oh, no, it's going to be the ABCs.

It's going to be on the ABC for the first time since, I think, 1993. And the whole time since the Howard first campaign, the LMP has basically been like, you know, the coalition of have not wanted to go to the ABC. This is in the new ABC studios in Parramatta. And I just think what a remarkable achievement that none of the free-to-air broadcasters are presumably going to take it. And so Australian can actually watch the shows that they enjoy.

They can watch whatever's on Married at first sight. What's it up against? I don't know. I don't watch the stuff, but Australians do. And so next Wednesday, whatever the normal Wednesday night schedule is. I mean, if it was in America, it would be on all the major networks. But because this is Australia, they know. Stash it on the ABC. We're only a few pointy heads will watch it. Well, surely people will still go to the ABC, but they'll go to the ABC. I view it happens. Yes. Or Bluey. There's a lot of other programming available. It's worth noting. Yes, if you want to do that. So, I mean, well done for just acknowledging that that people aren't going to. to watch it no matter what. I think that's, um, that's very realistic. So it's good to see both campaigns. We can't be jaded about, like, I feel like we shouldn't be jaded about democracy in this time where it is so fraught. Like, that's true actually. Across the globe, um, you know,

democracy is threatened. You can't be taken for granted. We're glibly taking it for granted. Yeah, let's glibly take it for granted. Because it's so boring. Let's say it glibly take it for granted during this ad break, showy. The Chaser report. Less News. Less often. But, Charles, isn't that the shining achievement of Australian democracy? It's just impossible to imagine anyone taking it over in a sort of authoritarian horrible manner. I'm sure Americans would have said the same thing. But what would be the Australian equivalent of Laid Miserables.

Like, how would we turn Australian democracy into a musical that we're going to, do you hear the people sigh? Do you hear the people tuning out of the leaders debate? Well, I mean, there was Katie. See there, there go, I'm sick. There was Pete in the musical. That was quite an attempt. That was quite good. Yeah, that was good.

No one's made Howard the musical yet, but I'm sure that's being worked on. Or, I mean, Scott Morrison. Actually, there would be an amazing musical in Scott Morrison, I think. Yeah, yeah. And if it was like a Christian rock, Christian rock's the best-selling style of music in Australia by far. You could. It would kill. Yeah, it would absolutely kill.

Yeah, that's a good money spin. I mean, I know you're already filling houses doing your wankanconomic stuff, damn you. But even the event that others want to get in on that, I might suggest that, Hansen. But Charles, let's talk about, I think we've spent enough time on the election as important as it is. And as we don't take democracy for granted, Charles, because not everywhere in the world can people make fun of their leaders. And at least in Australia, that is the right that we have for now. That we can, we can afford not to pay attention. It's actually a luxury.

Over in the US, as we know, the Liberation Day has led to a big impact. I mean, if Donald Trump wanted the world to talk about him, again, as he does. It's certainly working out. But it turns out Elon Musk has pushed very hard for Trump to back off this massive surge in global tariffs. And that might be because unlike Donald Trump, he actually knows how to run a successful manufacturing business and knows how impossible this regime is to work on. I mean, the modern car, apparently, Charles, it's almost impossible to work out where it's made because all the bits of it are made in different places. How do you unscramble that egg in a sense and even apply this bizarre tariff regime, even if you want to.

Look, you can have some sort of neo-liberal talking point that you've obviously just downloaded from miltonfreedman.com, Dom. But, you know, you should look to the Soviet Union in the 1960s and 70s. I do, I do. Their cars were entirely made behind the iron curtain. Now, sure, they didn't work, but they did. I mean, they made them. Yeah, they made them.

And same with India. I mean, a lot of those Tata cheap cars are 100% domestic made. And they are very cheap. They are very, very, very cheap. And, you know, all you've got to do is get rid of some of those pesky safety standards. Or just have low wages. Just have incredibly low wages. Yeah, that'll do it.

Yes. Yes, exactly. So I think the best talking by and I've heard so far today about this whole tariff thing is, sure, it's all a disaster for people who own anything, right? Yeah. But actually, 50% of Americans are in net debt, right? Like, if you sort of, like, sure, they have a car, but they've got a car loan that probably exceeds the price of the car. Definitely. You know, and sure they might have a place to live, but they've got either a huge mortgage

or more realistically, they're just renting. But that's why they're so free, Charles. They're free to enter into whichever crippling credit contract they want to. Would you take that freedom away from them, Charles? But the point is that, like, so all the rich people have lost trillions of dollars right, but we're not doing it for the rich. We're doing it for the poor people by making them pay more for their, fun and their car.

For anything they want to buy. That's right. Yeah. Very sensible. It's sort of, but it's sort of, I forgot, sorry, I've lost my train of thought because for some reason, I can't remember the reason, but apparently that's good for the poor people that this has happened. Yeah, yeah, no, it's just kind of work out the lodging.

I know, I can tell you why it is, Charles. It's because all the jobs will come back. Get jobs. I mean, the cars, yes. Will global car companies just simply freeze America out of all the discussions and essentially change their markets. I mean, will they focus on Asia the world's fastest growing region or out of Africa or will they pay to America and build a plan on Ohio or something?

No, exactly. The car companies will go, well, there's 8 billion people in the world. What we want to focus on is the 150 million Americans who are really poor with these things are designed to help out and get jobs for. So what we'll do is we'll just jettison 7.85 billion people and just focus our efforts on serving the 150 million people who don't own anything. Yeah, that's the logic. That's right.

They're going to ignore everyone in the developing areas and just basically fix America up. But I mean, this also raises the chance, Charles, that what might happen is that in those impoverished parts of America, you know, the savior who's already done so much for them will come in and people will be able to buy a Trump car, a Trumpmobile, if you will. Yes, yes. Put your brand on it. By the way, have you seen this is my favourite news of the week, actually. Just in terms of Donald Trump... I feel like beside the track, he's a sort of Trump car. It just bulldozes through everything with no concern for pedestrians. And the bits fall off. And the bits, well, the bits are glued on, a bit like his hair. Yeah, yeah.

That's true, actually. But Charles, I don't know whether you've seen this. It's like a piece of satire. But one of Trump's money spinning schemes is the $5 million gold visa. Have you heard this? So now, if you pay $5 million US dollars, you just have basically instant citizenship. And he reckoned they're going to raise a trillion dollars on this. So it's being calculated, that's impossible. But anyway, the card has on it, the garish gold card has his face on it. It's got it's the most hilarious looking thing ever. It's as though it's the king on the currency. I think it's even got a signature on it as well. So you pay $5 million for a lousy piece of plastic with Donald Trump's hand on it

and the right to live in the US forever. Look, I know that we're probably living in times and we shouldn't sort of laugh at our own demise. But it is, I mean, it just does make terrific television. And I think, you know, if you look at the grand sweep of Trump's history, like he's not going to be remembered as a politician. He's going to be remembered as that person who gave us season. and after season of just terrific illusion.

First on TV, then on every TV. Yeah, I really on. It's, I mean, we all love succession. And clearly, I think that's what drove the election result. Americans chose to live. Well, this one will be called recession. Yes, indeed. It will.

Or maybe even depression. The depression we had to have, that's right. Well, whether we're talking about Australian politics or the US, that's a word that seems appropriate in both senses of it. We are from the Iconiclass network, and we'll catch you tomorrow. we might never need to meet in person again, Charles, now that we can just record on our phones. Fantastic.

I think we should go back to, like, using the proper microphone. So, like, I think, come on. I mean, this is good, but I can't afford to sit in a cafe and pay $6.80 for my coffee. Like, that's going to ruin me. I'll catch you next time.