The Chaser Report - Dutton's 60 Minute Fluff

Episode Date: February 23, 2025

Charles needs to punish John, and so forced him to watch the entirety of Peter Dutton's interview on 60 Minutes with Karl Stefanovic. Note that Guantánamo Bay outlawed this form of torture in 2011. Watch the Dutton interview:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6IT5_OkSj2w&ab_channel=60MinutesAustraliaWatch OPTICS on ABC iview here:https://iview.abc.net.au/show/opticsCheck out more Chaser headlines here:https://www.instagram.com/chaserwar/?hl=enHelp us afford not to break mugs:https://chaser.com.au/support/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Chaser Report is recorded on Gatigal Land. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chaser Report. Hello and welcome to The Chaser report with Dom and Charles. Now, Dom is away today, but I'm here, and I'm here with John Delmenico, who's the editor of the Chaser. Hello. Now, I didn't actually ask you to speak, John. Sorry. John probably already knows that he's in trouble.

Do you know you're in trouble, John? Yeah, I got it that. Why are you in trouble? Why are you in trouble? I think we're blowing us out of portion, but as fans of the podcast know, the Chaser loves to make mugs and sell mugs. And I thought, as editor, it was my turn to do that,

and I don't see what the problem is. So, first of all, what was the mug that you... Conbank. So it was con bank, which... Multiple people said that we should have gone with con bank, but then they also wouldn't have bought that. No, no one. It didn't sell well.

It didn't sell well. But I didn't, you know, that doesn't hurt us as much. So if anything, I should be being praised because I didn't lose us money yet. Oh, so you set it up on Red Bubble or something. I used Printify. What was it? Printify. Yeah, right, yeah.

So you sold a few mucks, right? And I'm sure, well, I'm sure long-term listeners know exactly where this is heading. But, you know, like... You would think, so we've achieved a lot in the last, say, million years of human civilization, right? We've achieved flight, I suppose. It's one of the things. We've achieved lots of war, huge achievement. Writing, science, art, literature, sort of thing.

Maths. No, maths. Yeah, I suppose. Marriott at first sight. Maths, maths, yeah, definitely. Marriott at first side is right up there. One thing, though, and John, I'm sure you know this, that we haven't achieved, is the ability to send mugs via Australia Post.

Do you know this? Do you know this? Well, some people in our comment section when we announced the mugs did specifically say, I can't believe you guys are doing this again. And it turns out those people might have been correct in making that comment. So for people who don't know, what happened last time we tried to sell mugs, John?

What happened? Well, last time or two times ago, because it was two times ago that we broke every mug that we bought. Yeah, so that was the back end. black. So remember, it was like 2016, was it? Joe Hockey was the treasurer and Tony Abbott, Prime Minister? I think

so. And here now, it's a back in black mugs. Yes. Which, to celebrate the budget. So they decided to sell as Liberal Party merchandise back in black mugs on the Liberal Party website. And Cam came up with the idea that oh, that's right. No, no, because it was actually a couple of years after that, wasn't it?

It was like a year after that and the deficit went through the floor. And like, It was never, and it was back in black, but it was exactly identical to the Liberal Party mugs, but it was crossed out. Yeah, they were funnier than the mugs that I sold. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like it goes without saying, but we sold hundreds of those mugs. They were very popular, right, and every single one of them, I'm pretty sure I'm accurate

in saying. Yeah, they all, every single one of them got smashed. Yeah, yeah. And it cost the company a lot of money. Well, at that point, we didn't have that much money. and I'm not sure we like I think it was sort of almost broke the kind of broke the mugs

I think we almost went broke I think we was sort of on the verge of very on brand for that budget yeah so then but what was the second I don't remember I do have oh the quantas mugs so here's what happened I decided the best way to play it safe

because the quantas mugs went well was copy was copy literally everything that was done and only change the design and not touch anything about any of it because I didn't want to break it. Yeah, no, because eventually, that's right, Cam worked with, I don't know, who was it?

It was sort of like, I don't know, specialist from the Vienna Institute of packing things or something to eventually get some replacement mugs out to people. I think, yeah, I think it was the large Hadron Collider people or something. It was some theoretical physicists or something. I didn't know that far with these mugs.

Yeah, okay. But yeah, you did basically the same thing. And so what happened with the quantast mugs? Quantas mugs went fine. And then, so we didn't begin with Conbank. And... Conbank, yes. Maybe one of them broke.

And maybe it was the first one we sent out. And it definitely was the very first one that was sent out was came back broken. But if we just assume that that's the only one that breaks, it's not that bad. Well, given how poor the sales were... Yeah. Then actually, it's sort of... Right, so... Because, look, just to explain to everyone, this happened, I don't know, about a week ago,

that it sort of became apparent that it was an absolute catastrophe and that, you know, the solvency, not just of the chase of it, but of the entire media industry was at risk over this catastrophe. It's why they cancelled neighbours again. Oh, have they cancelled neighbours? Yeah, they announced that it's got the axe a second time. Apparently no one watched the reboots. So it's not all bad news for the Australian television industry. do to that. So the point is, I then said to John, you need to be punished, obviously, because

that's a good workplace. But it's just being a good manager. And we also haven't had a discussion about these mugs until the podcast. We specifically held off having, what is a genuine work meeting to make it content. Yeah, yeah. But I said, you need to watch Karl Stefanovic's interview with Peter Dutton. That is your punishment. Yeah. Right. So, John, did you do that? Yes, I did. Have you And disappointingly, there was no ukulele, so what was the fucking point of even having that interview? Oh, my God. But I imagine, did he, when he was asked to sort of sing a tune, did he sort of dutton bang his head with his fist and sort of, you know that sort of, you know, when you, you know, his wife told him he's not allowed to sing or dance. Oh, really?

So not even. There was no musical element at all in this episode. Not even the macarena? I imagine Peter Dutton does a fairly feisty macarena. I think he really wanted to sing WAP, but he got told no. Yes, yes. We'll get into what he actually said after this break. Okay.

Because we haven't done the intro break yet. I love how you're more proficient than me. The Chaser Report, news you can't trust. Okay, so, John, run us through, whatever. Okay, so before we go into this, I want to say some people might think I'm biased because of everything I've written about Dutton in the past. And one of my first viral articles being when I dubbed him, Ministers, a potato head, and that went so well that we then sold a bunch of merch of him as a Mr.

Potato Head figure. Yes. And I just want to say, going into it, that that's not going to cloud my judgment, but I thought it was good to acknowledge that beforehand. And also, I think we should acknowledge that you also think that Albo is an idiot as well. Oh, absolutely. Yes. There's a real balance here.

This is a very balanced. In three weeks, I'll be back with Carl's interview with Albo. That will be equally as terrible. That'll put you in a coat. They'll give you a stroke. I'm at a real risk. Well, let's not get too harsh on Carl because there is some great journalism that happens

with scoops you don't get anywhere else, like this one. Someone who does have a dog is his wife of 21 years, the vivacious Kiralee Dutton. That's right. She has it. For a moment there, I thought he was implying she was. No, she has a dog.

Yeah, right, okay. And Carl asked if he was Peter Dutton with hair, which, great, just great. banter from Carl there. Yeah, that was good. That's journalism. I assume, you know, the ABC journals are taking notes about how to, you know, Lee sales will be. And there's also, sketching out ideas. There wasn't just dog talk. There was other very hard-hitting questions. Breakfast at the Dutton Ranch. Here we go. What are you doing, Pete? I don't know. I'm doing a little bit of, have no,

avocado on toast is Peter Dutton's breakfast of choice. Oh no. But how does he afford, doesn't he own, like, property portfolio of hundreds of millions how does he afford that and avocado well luckily he sold off all the properties like a year ago oh that's that's why he's living the dream yeah but also how like people say you can't be useless knowing what to who to vote for but can you vote for a party who says avocado toast is the reason that we have a housing crisis but then eats it they clearly don't understand how to control the market or how to help anyone out when they're indulging in the stuff that hurts the market yeah and look I think the one thing you know like

if you're struggling to afford shelter, the one thing that you really focused on is hypocrisy. So, yeah. No, but I think, I think what I was say, like, I am, is this journalism or was this a sort of, was this a sitcom? What kind of genre of television was this? Was this 60 minutes? Yeah, this is 60 minutes.

So, Jesus Christ. We also found out that Peter Dutton's drink of choice in his late 20s was vodka Red Bull. That's how in depth we were going We had to know what drink he drank in his late 20s How old is he? I don't know, I've seen people point out Some people online suggest that he might have been lying Because they weren't that popular in the 90s

Yeah, well no, I mean, Red Bull didn't even exist I am a very much a heavy drinker of the 1990s And I can tell you, Red Bull I don't know when Red Bull came about But I specifically remember the mid-1990s because there was a host of other caffeinated horrible drinks, including one called Vault, which would give you terrible hangovers. But there was no such thing as Red Bull.

I don't think it even existed. Let's just fact check that. When did Redpool? Why would you lie about that if you were Peter Dunn? Yeah, it didn't launch in Australia until 1999. That is a bare-faced lie. That's not what he was drinking when he met his wife. This is disinformation.

This is fucking disinformation. And it calls into question, Carl's journal. integrity that he didn't pick up on this. Yeah, because I would have thought, Carl, Carl's about my age as well, isn't he? And if anyone knows the alcohol, it's Carl Stefanovic. Yeah, exactly. So, going on from, it wasn't just talk about food and dogs. There was also talk about an election that's coming up with some really scathing questions.

Oh, okay. Are you both ready to be Australia's first couple? I am. I am. Who? How else would you know that the guy who wants to be Prime Minister thinks he can be prime minister was so this sort of sounds more like an advertorial was there a 1-800 no like 1-800 liberal party down the bottom scrolling along then is that how it worked I don't think

there was but they definitely should have been at points because it like later on in this I will go through basically every single tough question that he was asked and they're not even that tough oh okay yeah right yeah okay so but was there was there a follow-up to that question no they just cut away to the next part okay but we did get on to important things like the cost of living crisis and energy crisis. With a cash strapped, stressed out electorate, Dutton will have to earn the keys to the lodge. Can you name me one thing that'll be cheaper under a coalition government?

Well, if we can get the energy situation right and rectified, we should be having downward pressure on electricity bills, on gas bills. That's years away, though, right? Well, it's not necessarily in relation to gas, which is the short term. So that's right. If he can get gas lower, gas will be cheaper,

but also not specifically gas. I feel like, I mean, how is it positive? That's sort of like, I suppose it's sort of like when you throw a ball to a two-year-old and you do as so gently as possible and they still just fumble us.

Yeah. That's what that was. Like, it really is, it is, that's the one glimmer of hope in this whole thing, isn't it? That Peter Darden is just being given the biggest softball in the world.

world from every single, you know, media outlet and, you know, and the Labor Party. It's just the clearest run in the world and he's still just fumbling it at every point. And they follow, I'll follow that up by asking about whether nuclear has been costed yet. And he just went, well, they have nuclear in other countries, which is an answer to a different question. Like, he's really struggling on an intentional fluff piece, which I feel like is not, like, at least when Scott Morrison was asked to show his personality, he pulled out the ukulele, so he managed to get amongst the fluff piece. But he can't even do that. But maybe in a world where

there's only small targets, you have to make yourself so small that you actually disappear up your own ass. And everyone feels bad for making fun of you. Yeah, yeah. Well, there was one other political topic they talked about, which, because of 2025, was obviously Donald Trump. And here's what he's going to do about Trump. From what Australians have seen thus far, they'd be given for thinking that you are right up Donald Trump's ass. Well, that might be a labour line, but it's just not true. I think I've demonstrated that I'm prepared to make the tough decisions and make the decisions that are in our country's best interests,

and that will include on the world stage. Yeah. Why do you reckon those decisions will be? Well, I think he'll probably pull out of August and start creating sovereign capability and start building a socialist utopia in Australia, sure. Well, I've got his actual answer here. I think if you look at what the president said,

I think one of the things that we need to bear in mind with President Trump is that we shouldn't be taking a literal interpretation of every word that's said. It's hard to know the difference. Well, but I think if you've watched him and you've listened to him and you've understood the nuance for a period of time, I think you can build a very strong relationship. And I think we have to. So the tough decisions he will make is just to assume that anything bad Trump says is a lie.

I love it. I love it. Let's just underestimate him. Yeah. I love it. It works so well for authoritarian rulers. The example he gives in the interview is Trump saying he wants to ethnically cleanse Gaza. And my favorite part about that is, in between the time of the promos for this interview went up and the time the interview actually went up, Trump did a follow-up statement

where he said that he was being 100% literal, and that is his plan. So I'm guessing we'd have to assume that follow-up statement was also him not being literal and just him joking around with nuance. Because isn't the one, yeah, I'm just, I'm getting really annoyed now because it's sort of like the one thing, like, it's literally a promise to be guileless in the face of Trump. Like, it's literally, like, isn't the whole thing that everyone in, who's facing Trump at the moment is learning is, oh shit,

we should have fucking taken him literally. This is a fucking nightmare. Yeah, but then he's much easier to like if we just don't do that. But then someone else who's easier to lie... So he's done an idiot? Does he come across as an idiot? Is this what's happening? Yeah.

Even in the softball, he's just actually a fucking moron. Like, yeah, I mean, there's a part where Carl tries to say it might be like, you base everything on your years as police looking at the worst crimes. And he just sort of goes, and then, like, moves on. And so even the part where, like, there's a chance for him to explain his thought process. He just didn't. Yeah. But...

Right. Okay. Like Trump, there's somebody else who benefits from... doing that exact type of thinking and that of course, according to Dutton's wife, is Peter Dutton. Right. Why is he misunderstood?

I don't know that he's misunderstood or that it's just you can't meet everybody every day. Yeah, she goes on to explain that we're simply all judging him based on the things that he said and the stuff that he's done.

But if we didn't do that, we would understand and like him more. That sounds very much like Scott Morrison's explanation for what Jenny would say if he let her get a word in edgeway. That's identical to what Scott Morrison said about what Jenny thought on 60 minutes last time. Yeah, I do love that they both took the exact same strategy of kind of getting our wives to soften us up.

He's not a monster. Did she actually use that line? They discussed that interview. Oh, fantastic. But all that they said was that apparently people were like... Not listening to him. No, like people were like apparently DMing. random employees of the childcare company that she owns,

and that's what made her want to speak up. The Chaser report, less news, less often. But speaking of things people have said, sadly, I do have to report that apparently Peter Dunton has been being bullied online by people who say very rude things about him. Oh, that is terrible news to hear, John. I've got a clip from his wife talking about his bullying. The things that people say about him, I don't like them.

and I don't particularly want to hear them, but they don't bother me. Mr. Potato Head, Lord Voldan what? How do you respond to that? Oh, wow. What can you do? People are going to make up comparisons and imagery that suits their agenda, but no. That's your lines. It's your lines.

Yeah, anyone who's been calling him Mr. Potato Head, just know that you're using your agenda against him and you're hurting the mental health of him and his wife. Oh, what a fucking But that's good You can now use that on your CV, John Yeah But I think as a comedy that cares about mental health At The Chaser

We should really think about what we've done And for balance sake We'll find out what his sons call him And then make merch based on that Oh, what a great idea Yes, yes for balance Here's a clip of what his sons call him Okay, what's funny

If you say Mr Potato Head I'm gonna lose it exactly what i was going to say that was definitely one of the negatives that we quickly turned into a positive so how so um well we sort of started saying it to them ourselves so because he didn't get enough of it day to day came home and had to deal with it as well what okay well we're gonna i think i think we need to roll out a whole heap of merchandise you should definitely do some more potato head mugs but i think we need to get some potato meshes for the chaser shop, do you mean?

Yeah, it's a whole new realm now that his son say it as... Yeah, yeah, it's fair game. It's fair game. We're just joshin. And to close up, there was obviously one other thing about his sons that came up in the interview,

which was the time that his son got caught with cocaine. Oh, that's right, yes. But there wasn't really much of discussion on that. It was more just Carl speaking for like a minute straight about how he can really sympathize with his son. Oh. Which I guess makes sense,

considering if anyone knows anything about getting caught with cocaine, it would be Carl Sophanovic. Well, so, John, do you think you've been punished enough? I think this is too far. I think, like, I think if I took this to the Hague, they would agree that this is a cruel and unusual punishment. Yes, yes. So what are we going to do about the elbow follow-up interview?

Like, are you saying you can't do that? You're suffering from too much PTSD? Like, how are we going to cover that? Because I'm not going to watch it. I mean... And we need to cover it. I think I... Should we get somebody else to do it?

Like, do you have someone you need to punish in your life? I'm sure I can find some of the next two weeks. Yeah, okay. Or, you know, if anyone wants to volunteer to watch it, any listener out there, just a podcast at chaser.com.com. And you can save John some mental anguish. Please do. We're part of the Icona Class Network.

Thank you so much, John. That was horrible. Yeah.