The Chaser Report - Elon's Child Army

Episode Date: September 9, 2026

In a jam-packed episode, Dom and Charles address the news that Musk needs a "legion of children" to create people who hate him. Also, a classy farewell to a political legend, and some hype for not one but two different documentaries. ---Listen AD-FREE: https://thechaserreport.supercast.com/ Follow us on Instagram: @chaserwarSpam Dom's socials: @dom_knightSend Charles voicemails: @charlesfirthEmail us: [e-mail] CEO’s Super-yacht upgrade Fund: https://chaser.com.au/support/ Send complaints to: [e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Chaser Report is recorded on Gatigal Land. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chaser Report. Hello and welcome to The Chaser Report with Dom and Charles. The America Report, Charles. We've got a copy South Park, which renamed itself to South America. Yes. I think that's got the America report. We'll get more ratings.

Yeah, well, we'll impress Trump. Because he likes to name everything America, doesn't he? Perhaps we should be a little bit more independent. and perhaps you should swim against the tide and call it the Canada report. Oh, Ontario report. Ontario. Or Mexico. Man, he wasn't like that.

The Mexico report. Anyway, lots to discuss today, Charles. We've already talked about the iPhone folder or if it's called. So that's old hat on this podcast. I know it's dropped today and everyone's going crazy about it. We've done it. We've covered that. We've been there.

We've speculated about it. Yeah. We don't want to talk about the actual facts. No, we don't want that. No, instead we're going to. We're going to talk about something that I think should worry every single person listening to this podcast. Is it that Elon Musk apparently told an ex-girlfriend that he needed a legion of children before the start of the Civil War? What the fuck?

No, I haven't heard that. What's that story? I have to be completely honest with you. I knew where you were going and I just noticed this headline. Okay, maybe. Literally then. Maybe. Let's take some ads and I'll read it.

Shall we? Yes. Okay, so today we were going to talk about this great yarn about Open AI seems to have literally stolen the work of a mathematician who was using ChachyPT to then pretend that they'd solved the prize, the math equation that this professor was working on, right? It's a great yarn, but no. We'll have time. We've got to go. This isn't long. We've got to go.

No, let's do the Elon Musk and we'll do the Mets Prize some other day. So, Charles, we'll see how far this goes right. We're going to cover both. Picture yourself at the Venice Film Festival. It's going on at the moment. I've never been invited to it. And I've always wanted to go to the Venice Film Festival. I'd try and drop by, you know.

Yeah, I know, when you're in Europe for Wankanomics. Yeah, the Wankers feel at home. The big, exciting event that's happening at the Venice Film Festival is the premiere of Alex Gibney's new documentary, which is called Musk. Now, you remember Alex Gibney, you made all those. amazing docoes, the Enron, smartest guy in the room. Oh, yeah. They're very good, yeah.

All that. So he's probably the greatest documentary maker in the world. And so he's made this new. Well, not really. I've just noticed his mask documentary goes for three hours and 45 minutes. This is not the greatest. Anyway, it was six hours. He's got to learn to edit.

Would you know what happened? I've read the real reason for this. He just about finished it. He did it. HBO commissioned it. Right. And he pretty much finished it. And then Doge happened.

Or basically Elon's support for Trump. He suddenly went full Trump. So he gave news like, oh, we've got to keep rolling on this. This is bizarre. So anyway, the revelation here is that a woman called Ashley St. Clair was at a, she was at a photo call for this Musk docker. She's one of the people who's in it. Yeah, because she's one of the people who Musk has had a child with. Yes, that's right.

So she's, like many people who know Elon Musk, she's completely turned on him. Yeah. And he sent her a text message saying, I want to have a child with you because I need to have a legion of children before the Civil War, which is just extraordinary. But isn't that work? Does it pick up lot? Apparently. Well, on the subtext, I'm about to become a trillionaire. Probably doesn't hurt either.

But the hilarious kind of subtext to it is that she's then saying he's trying to bring it about on X and sewing division. And so I'm quoting her here. Whatever it is, whatever he's doing with this platform on X cannot be ignored, because he's stoking flames that don't exist in the real world. He's creating something that's causing real world effect with all these inputs on it on X. If we don't put our part in doing it down, if we don't do our part in putting it down, it may be catastrophic if it's not regulated or tamed.

So she's endorsing Albo. She's endorsing Albo's plan. To stop the algorithm. She's clearly never heard of Albu or Albo's plan. She's endorsing it anyway at the Venice Film Festival. Yeah. Mind you, though, Dom, just in fairness, Musk has hit back at Alex Gibney.

And it's pretty pointed. Like, I feel like it's a bit of a mic drop. Oh, really? Yes. I haven't seen. Because Musk. Has he called him a pedo? That's his usual.

No. Worse than that. I mean, this is far more witty than that. Right. He posted on an X earlier this year. Gibney is a douche. Oh, that. Ow!

Oh, God. He wasn't talking about Australia's beloved Rebecca Gibney, was he? Sure, it's Alex he's talking about? Yeah, maybe he was. Don't come near Rebecca. The other detail of Elon. I might just add that I've just discovered is if you Google Elon Musk, right, comes up with Musk's face and everything like that.

Scroll down, the first, you know, how it has, you know, people also ask. Yes. But instead of the first question that people always are also ask when you Google Elon Musk is, What is Musk diagnosed with? Oh, wow. Does that mean that Gemini is a douche as well? Probably. Yeah, I think that probably is.

It's a good quote over. I would watch four hours on Elon, by the way, no problem. And then the next question is, what is Elon Musk's health problem? Yeah. Is Elon mentally stable? What is going on? This is Alex Gibney. I'm making the documentary, putting queries in.

So he says, this is a great quote here. Musk is not a new tech story, says Gibney. His stories, it's an old wine and it's, a new bottle. He's the confidence man, the stock pumper. Yes. And his wealth and power comes from inflating stock, which is a really, you know, not an, I mean, the pump and dump thing is how crypto works. How, why have we not pumped the chaser?

When the chaser was popular, why didn't we pump and dump it? We're fools. We're too late now. We're fools. Dom, what are we doing? It's crazy. So anyway. So what I want to know, the thing that, like, sorry, this is going a bit excursively,

what I want to know is, why does Mass want to see? Civil War. Like, what's the, like, I get that that's what he's doing. Having all the children. I assume it's a pickup of. I think he's got a kink and he's got a, it's a pickup line. Oh, right. So you don't think he, like, he actually, but then he does all the Nazi solution and

everything like that, remember, and he's, and he supports alternative to Germany, which is the Nazi party in Germany. No, I think, in all honesty, I think, and I hate to say it of a white South African Charles. But I think he's got a little bit of a. racial issue. Oh, gosh. This is that, well, isn't he a subscriber to the whole idea that if you don't

populate, you know, the eons of this world will be kind of bred out? Yes, it's the replacement theory. The replacement theory. The idea that, you know, the whites are in trouble because they're being bred out. I'm just going to. I'm just going to. Well, that's the whole concept there. And yeah, no, he's absolutely done this before.

He's talked about this a lot. He's denied subscribing to it, although there's many. receipts on social media. This year in January, according to The Guardian, he posted about race every single day on X. Right. So this is, while he's meant to be running Tesla and all the other companies, SpaceX, he's just busy talking about racial men. He said whites are a rapidly dying minority on the 22nd of January this year. So that's what he's doing. Isn't the problem that inevitably everyone he breeds with turns against him? And I think a large portion of his offspring have also turned against. They have.

Including the one who transitioned. Yeah. And they keep dropping his surname and things like that from their names and everything. So isn't the point that by breeding, he's actually he's literally breeding the opposition to Elon Musk. He's sort of stoking the other side.

He's actually helping out the other side. He is literally in that sense. I think we should all support the idea that Elon Musk should go on a fuck fist. Just literally so, there's more people that end up knowing Musk and getting to know him and therefore disliking him greatly. More estranged children. But I mean, that's one way to do that, but also just discussing Elon Musk will probably get you. Like, surely there's no stronger argument for replacing, you know, Elon Musk than Elon Musk.

Like, surely of the genes that if we're going to have this whole logic, Elon's not making a great case for his genetics being retained. Like, anyway. Sorry, why not? Because we don't want more Elon Musks. But isn't it all that, for him, it's just as long as they're white. It doesn't matter how much it you get there. As a white person, I'm willing to countenance the end of my genes if it means no more Elon's, don't you think?

Is it worth it? I think it's all right. I think we can take that. Take one for the team. Take one for the team. But it's, yeah, and it's not, we're not teams anymore. We're just all one mixed group. Anyway.

Yeah, okay. Let's not get auto-eugenic. Let's take a break and then just ponder. I've just got to go and breed a few more children. Sorry, just let me go and do that. I'm worried about being replaced. And then you can tell us about the maths. Okay.

The Chaser Report, less news more often. Is there time, though? Because we do like to keep them tight. Look, I don't think there is. I think that there's a few other things that we should just quickly touch on in this episode. Yeah, let's touch on. We'll save the maths for later. in the week. Okay. Blanche Dabaget died, which is very sad. I only met her once. Did you?

But I, and I didn't recognize her. But it was on, it was last election night. And I was standing next to, there was, I was at this party, I hardly knew anyone. And, and I was standing next to the TV, just watching the early results coming in. And there's this old woman who just knew everything about politics and was the most erudite, like, she was, she was in her 80s and just, like, knew everything and was just so insightful and witty and funny and just the life of the party. And I was going, who the hell is this person? Then I realized, oh, no, it's Blanch-Talbysha. Of course she knows a bit.

Apparently it's Blanche, by the way. Or Blanche, Blanche, sorry, not Blanche, but no, was I at the same party as you on election night? I think I, in which case, I didn't realize Punch Dalpige was there. I'm not sure. I'll take this off. It's not something that you would expect. You rock up to an election party and suddenly, like, Blanche Delvergesa.

Former Prime Minister's... Amazing. Yeah. Former wife. Yeah, absolutely. Her biography, I must say, the idea, I did read her first biography of Hawke written when they were having a secret affair and when, you know, but was all secret. Yes.

It's a great biography. And it's, be fair to say, it's pretty warts and all. I mean, she had no illusions about what she was getting into. Yeah. Well, I'm sure Bob Haug had lots of warts. I mean, he was a root rabbit, wasn't he? Well, that's what the biography's about. It's that of the drinking and the whole thing.

It's a cracking read. And this is, all the stuff you got up to before he was even Prime Minister. I never read the second one. I should go back and read it. But, yeah, it's an extraordinary read. See, that's somebody who had an Elon Musk-esque sort of desire to populate the plant. But I think he kept, like, he sort of obviously had proper contraceptive control, didn't he? Because he had lots of affairs.

I don't think he has dozens of children. Yeah, exactly. No, that's right. So that's what you should do if you want to have sex. You just don't necessarily have to leave a trail of kids who hate you. Yeah. And I don't know, Charles. I mean, I know it works differently in European royal families and stuff like that.

But I would have thought that the more children you had by more different people, the more likely it would be that all of them would hate you, don't you think? Yeah, oh, definitely, yeah. Because did you see that brilliant onion head? headline from the other day with Brad Pitt. Because I don't know whether you know, but all of Brad Pitt's kids have decided to drop the pit name. A dropping the pit.

Yeah. The onion ran the headline. Brad Pitt decides to drop his surname in solidarity with his family. That was very funny. Very sad, but also very funny. By the way, speaking of which, the other funny thing, to circle back to Ashley Sinclair, the woman who, to Maga, influencer who clearly turned on him on his. Elon and turned up for the photo call.

So, you know what? The deal is, if you have a kid with Elon, apparently, this is what she says anyway. So Elon's team said, guess how much money she gets or she was offered? I don't know, like a trillion dollar. No, no, he'd be a type. Realistically, what do you think the deal is? The actual deal. Like, it'd be like at least 10 million, wouldn't it?

Because he's rich. Well, you've got to have sex with Elon. Just imagine you're asking someone to have sex with Elon and to have a child and to be connected with him. Oh, right. Was that the deal? Like, you'll have my child and I'll pay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, no. I reckon it wouldn't have been as much. Specifically for the choice. You would have been like $3 million or something. 40. 40 million. 40 was the offer. Oh, fuck.

And a monthly stipend of 100 grand. Fuck. I mean, but you have to fuck. Literally. In return. Yeah. In return for a non-disclosure agreement, which she did not sign. So the offer was withdrawn.

I don't know if she got anything. But she got six. Imagine having a kid with Elon for free. She got six? Well, evidently they had a kid. Yeah, well, there you go. She got some thing. It doesn't seem like an amazingly good deal.

Yeah, I wouldn't do that. I think I'd sign the non-disclosure clause in Bank the 40. But surely it's a win-win. Because how do you know that I haven't? That's true. It's actually a good point. You may well have. I wouldn't have any idea.

I mean, I would have thought that if you were Elon, Musk's lover, you would already not want to disclose it to anybody, right? You'd be making him so not disclose it. That's right. Yeah. It's very true. The world is an amazing place.

Now, the last thing before we go, Dom, is Nathan Fielder has just dropped. I just love that we briefly just mentioned the sad death of Blanche da Pige in the context of this. We normally don't touch stuff like that, but I think we did it in a respect for way. So Nathan Fielder, Nathan Fielder dropped an amazing link trailer to his new documentary. So what happened was he was, he asked Elizabeth Holmes, the Theranos, fraudster,

who set up that blood testing company that just didn't work. It was just a complete fraud. And he started tracking it. He asked whether he could, you know, follow her around for the sort of 27 days. And make a docker. Yeah, like for a month leading up to her being jailed, right? And so it was like the last 28 days of freedom ride. And so he, so she agreed for some reason.

Wow, she really was odd, wasn't she? Yeah. And but then apparently he just kept going. Like he just was so enthralled by this fraudster that he just kept filming. And it's been in the making for the last two and a half years. And it's going to come out in October. And it looks like, I mean, for people who don't know Nathan Fielder, he did Nathan for you. He did a brilliant, brilliant series called The Rehersal, I think, on H.B.

Yeah, I haven't watched that. Everyone says it's the best television show ever. But, I know, it was on, it was on one of them, and then he switched to another network, and then he reenacted the process of having to switch networks. I mean, it's just some of the best comedy you'll ever see, but it's also sort of like, there was one where he actually learned how to fly a Boeing 737 so that he could just test out a theory. Amazing. And he actually then did it. He actually, for the TV show, he became a pilot and then flew a 737.

It was amazing. He's just amazing. Yeah, now my wife's pretty fascinated about this with Holmes. And so she showed me the clip. And I was like, what, how have you, how is she and Nathan Fielder in the same, like, conversation? And apparently this dropped as a complete. surprise. Like at the Telluride Film Festival, people said,

there's a secret screening, come in, and then the woman gets something and says, we've got a documentary about Elizabeth Holmes made by Nathan Field. It was like, what? So this is called You Can See Everything. Yes. And it's, yeah, Nathan Fielder's filmmaking debut, apparently, like featured debut, along with someone called Lance Oppenheim. And people are saying it's going to be the movie of the year. Yeah, I think so. Because you've got title access.

And this is off the back of, we're halfway through the year, and already, the cinemas are making more money than they've ever made before. Like, this is a blockbuster year for movies. There's so... Yeah, the Odyssey. I still can't get tickets to IMAX to watch it. I know. I really want to.

I haven't seen it because I just want to... I'm holding out to see it and I'm at. I think I better go and see it. But also, Paw Patrol. Don't... Paul Patrol's also got a movie out of the year. That's fact. I assumed you're talking about Spider-Man and Poor Patrol.

And the Avengers isn't out either. Are you in the Avengers to Doomsday, by the way? I don't even know what it's called. I have no idea what you're talking about. Oh, just because like every big star is in it. Oh, yeah, yeah, of course I am. You couldn't tell me if you were. Yeah, I couldn't do, yeah, yeah, yeah, all right.

I assumed that they, you know, they're just keen to get you if they could. Yeah, no, exactly. When you've got a bankable star, you need to use them. Yeah, yeah. All right, well, certainly it suggests people making TV shows should aim high, so I can't wait to see what your response to this is, Charles. Yeah, yeah, no, exactly. I will, maybe what I should do is ask Elon Musk for full access.

That's a very good idea. Oh, no, but that's our thing. You've got to find someone who's on the way down and nothing to lose. Yeah, well, can I make a documentary of you, Don? Look, Charles, in the event that my life is ever interesting enough to warrant even more than five minutes of documentary, I will allow you to make the documentary. But actually, I think a documentary of you and James on your upcoming trip to the UK would probably be pretty interesting. Would it? I kind of feel like it wouldn't.

It's the same show every night. It'd be incredibly boring. No, you'd have to stage. You'd have to have a stage a huge creative breakdown. We don't even drink. Like, oh God. Really? Well, maybe one beer after a show occasionally, but you don't, you don't want to.

Like, because you want to be then match fit to the next night. You want to sort of. The man's, what, 51, and you've become a professional. Yeah, I know. All right, let's leave that there. And I'll tell you about the maths problem. I know everyone will be tuning in tomorrow. People have got this far going, hang on, show there's no more time in this feed for the maths problem.

All right, yeah, we'll do it next. Okay, we're part of the iconocles network. Catch you tomorrow. Farewell.