The Chaser Report - Extra - BlueToothBrushes

Episode Date: September 23, 2020

The future has arrived, and it's here to solve a problem that you've never even thought about. That's right, you can now use your toothbrush to take photos of your mouth. Why hasn't anyone thought of that before. Plus all the latest news you can't trust with Rebecca De Unamuno.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Chaser Report, Global World International News Headlines Update with Rebecca Dayunamuno. Scott Morrison has defended paying a Liberal Party donor ten times more for land around Sydney's new airport than it was worth, claiming he was simply paying mates rates. The Prime Minister said that anyone who thought the deal was corrupt was un-Australian, pointing out he originally offered to make the $30 million overpayment in kegs of beer. Dictator Dan Andrews has annexed Poland after the Victorian Premier sought to further entrench his ruthless grip on power.

The move is just the latest escalation by the out-of-control power-hungry maniac. Historians say the move is the typical process of any dictator. First, introduce a public health order to prevent the spread of a disease, then boom, invade Poland. It's the oldest trick in the book.

Australian artists are to be killed and turned into tickets to the hit Broadway musical Hamilton under a radical new plan to revive the art. art sector. Treasurer Josh Frydenberg said that government modelling indicates tickets to Hamilton are now worth far more than the average Australian artist, and so the decision had been an easy one. Donors to the Liberal Party will be exempt from the new measure, which starts next Tuesday. That's the latest Chaser News. Check outchaser.com.com.com for all the latest. Thanks, Beck, and now it's time for...

Welcome to the future. That's right. This is the segment where I take you on a trip into the future to review stupid Bluetooth products that really don't work ever. Yeah, in fact, the future, you were right, because when you started doing the future this segment in 2017, their prediction was the future would be awful and we're there. Actually, yeah, you're a profit. This is a very prescient segment in a way. Yeah, really, you predicted this. Okay, so today, it's a smart toothbrush.

Oh, God. And what I want to know from you, what do you think is the problem with current toothbrushes? What's the problem that this smart toothbrush is trying to solve? Too dumb, too quiet? Like maybe they're too, yeah, sneaky toothbrushes. Like you're not sure if you're getting everything clean because it won't tell you. Oh, that's good. I want affirmations.

I want it to be like, you're a toothbrushing hero and good stuff, champ. You got that plaque. Oh, and also times. Like, I always, you know how people are, like, you're supposed to brush your teeth for one minute? I never know how long I'm brushing my teeth. Like, sometimes I think I just brush my teeth and then I just, like, doze off. And then an hour later, I've just chopped up all my plaque. Look, they are all good problems.

But that's actually not the problem that this smart toothbrush solves. It's hard to take care of my teeth if I can't see what I'm taking care of. Oh, a camera. Is there a camera on a toothbrush? Oh, yuck. A toothbrush. mounted with a camera. That is what this product is.

I mean, isn't that why dentists get paid a fuck ton of money because they have to look at all the gory, disgusting shit on our teeth? I don't want to see that. I'm just worried about what else people would use the toothbrush for because I feel like if I had a tiny camera,

like I'd be looking at other things. Yeah, let's just say, there'd be some probing. Yeah. Like, for example, if there was a hole in the dry wall, I would look inside, not to do with my body, if that's what you're thinking.

Yeah. It'd be a very dry wall that some of us have deep. Anyway, the drywall is another word for my, just kidding. Hardware. Well, it does vibrate. Well, let's see. Case in point.

It's called ProFix. Let's just hear a bit of a description. It's a dentist-approved toothbrush with exchangeable attachments. As well as a camera, end an app that shows me what I'm doing while I'm brushing. I mean, tell us more about the exchangeable attachments, Charles, because I've got a sense of where this might be used in, I don't know, the video industry? No, no, this is a real product, Dom. This is, like, they sell attachments.

There's a whole business model behind this thing. This is for cleaning. These are not some sort of drywall or adult industry sort of product. Thanks for the clarification. Pretending to be the thing. But they do sort of admit that it is pointless. It's not that hard to take care of my time. That is the first time in the history of this segment

That any company is conceded That their product is in fact not essential That's progress So what do you think the camera does What do you do with the camera? Like why does that help? I mean, wouldn't you need to have your smartphone Also viewable to look at the images on the camera

And make sure you're getting all the things? Yeah, yeah, I think that's right That sounds very awkward Yeah But why Like can't you just tell I feel, like, why, why? I think it would be to find, like, the specific areas of plaque that you can't see.

Right, okay. Gross to pluck. Let's find out. I can take a picture and keep track of how I'm doing. So it's basically, you can compete against yourself. You brush your teeth. Hang on. Hang on.

So it's not even to help you do good brushing or clean your teeth. Right. It's just to take pictures. Yeah. Of your mouth. Yeah. It's just because everyone in the whole electronics industry about five years ago went to a seminar where they said, A, Bluetooth, B, gamification,

and thus this segment was born. Exactly. They've actually made it just so that they can be featured on this segment. So how much do you reckon this costs? Just ballpark, remembering that they're always stupidly. So you're 149.95. I'm going way higher. I'm going to $1,000.

No, it's not quite that, but it is $600 Australia. I wasn't even half. Yep. Wow. We're kind of, that's the median of both of our prices. But just think of all the, because it's the dentist you'll save. None, literally none. Yeah, no, because it's not, it doesn't replace the dent.

It's just dentist approved. Oh. Okay. So dentist was like, yeah, that's fine, I guess. But remember how she said it's not really that hard to take care of the teeth. And so it's a fairly pointless. Do you think the dentist required her to say that and returned it for the endorsement? But what, what do you think?

Like if you're going to pay $600 for a toothbrush, like it must have a pretty good sales pitch. Like, what do you reckon their slogan is at the end of the ad? You know, is it like, change the world, you know, revolutioning dental care. Yeah, yeah, what is it? Your mouth will be less skanky? Change the dental. Yeah, something like that. That would appeal to me.

My teeth are yellow. If they can make my teeth less yellow, here's my 600 bucks. I think it's make your mouth the most beautiful mouth in the world. Okay, that's a pretty good promise. Let's find out what they came up. up with. It's a lot easier and better when I can see how I'm doing it. It's easier and better.

And I can see how I'm doing. I mean, Charles, I don't want to, I don't want to naysay, but couldn't I get one of those, like, shaving mirrors that magnifies and a regular $10 toothbrush? No, because, no, Dom, no, you can't attach a mirror to Bluetooth. That's next week's episode. Yeah, I feel like they are doing the opposite of their tagline. and I feel like it's more difficult and worse, objectively. That's what I think it should be.

We made it more difficult and worse, objectively. That's great. And of course, with all these things, Charles, I just want to know how long does the charge last? Right, the charge, oh, I'd have to look at their website to find out, but it'll be less than... I suspect some reviewers will have mentioned this. It will be less than the...

Oh, wait a... minute. Where is it? You know one thing that is good about it, though, sometimes, you know, sometimes you hear camera sounds coming from a toilet, you know, sometimes from a bathroom. Sometimes you're outside, you know, your housemates in the bathroom and you hear camera sounds. And this time your housemate would come out and be like, yeah, sorry, I was just taking pictures of my teeth, definitely not nudes. I mean, look, I can imagine Chris Evans from the Avengers, Captain America, doing some amazing stuff with this product. Just looking at a...

Does it connect to Instagram? That's what I want to know. Is it made of vibranium? It is four interchangeable batteries. Oh. So, yeah, and you've got to charge it after each brush. So it's so high tech you need to use double A's, is it? My God, it's a 10 megapixel camera. This is fucking awesome. Wait.

I'm buying one. I'm going to buy one. So it's high deaf. It's high deaf. Man, I wouldn't want to see my mouth high deaf. I just, that's not something that's in my bucket list. Can you live stream your teeth like on Twitch? Yeah, you can.

You can put it up on Instagram. You knew how. how in um toothbrush ads how there's like the plaque is always represented by these like little beads that sometimes they have arms and they're like cheering and then the toothbrush you know sweeps them off and that if you take a picture of your mouth with this toothbrush camera you can actually see the little beads i think that'll be great okay well that's the welcome to the future charles you sound really disappointed in your future isn't this the point when we normally read reviews from amazon or something uh yeah except i can't find any

Wow. So at this point in the world, the number of people who've taken up the $600 camera toothbrush option is zero. No, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you, the problem is, okay, so normally at this time. Wait, wait, so the problem isn't that it's a $600 toothbrush that basically does nothing. Normally at this time in my review, I would read out reviews of the toothbrush. Yeah, which generally reveal that it doesn't work and can't be charged. But they seem to have done a very good job on, uh, deleting reviews from the internet.

They don't sell it through Amazon, which is usually the place. Well, you know why? Why? Because they own pictures of everybody's teeth up close. Like, what a great way to blackmail people. Teeth or, inverted commas, teeth. You know, the fact they don't sell through Amazon,

that makes me want to buy it more, you know? Support our local business. Fuck Jeff Bezos. With a camera-powered toothbrush. Thank you, Charles. What a great mini episode of The Chaser Report. That's all we've got time for. Remember to check out chaser.com.

You and go to our socials and all that sort of stuff. Lead us a five-star review on the Apple store. People have been doing it. People actually have been using the weird code words that we give them. Bluetooth toothbrush. Bluetooth toothbrush. That's what it should have been called. That's our code word for this week.

Oh my God. This actually is the future. Why didn't they call it there? Why'd they call it profix? What a fucking shit? Because they're the kind of people who thought that Bluetooth camera toothbrush was a good idea. God, I hate the future.