The Chaser Report - Extra - Eating Fried Chicken in the Time of Corona

Episode Date: August 30, 2020

KFC has dropped their slogan “Finger Licking Good” because it's not very appropriate during a pandemic. Two French police officers have been criticised for confronting a woman sunbaking topless on a beach. And speaking of nudity, a German nudist has gone viral after a boar stole his laptop. Plus Rebecca De Unamuno with all the Chaser news headlines that we can get past the lawyers. 
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The Chaser Report, Global World International News Headlines Update with Rebecca Dayunamuno. There are mounting fears that everyone at a recent smashmouth concert may have COVID-19 after they all exhibited the telltale symptom of a severe lack of taste. Health authorities said that attendees should have only turned up five minutes before the end when their only good song would be played. Former Prime Minister Tony Abbott has immediately blundered. in his new role as trade envoy by stopping all the boats coming into

and out of the UK. Success in the position relies entirely on boats not being stopped. Abbott was offered the position after impressing Boris Johnson with a string of sexist gaffs. A baby boomer living in Sydney has voiced his opinion about the Australian property market. The boomer said the mistake

that many millennials make is not having already bought property in the 1970s and 80s when it was much cheaper. That's the latest Chase and News. Check out our chaser.com.com.com for more updates. Now it's time for a wrap-up of news around the world with Dom Knight, Charles Firth and Nina O'Yama. Thanks, Beck. So, Dom and Charles, I never thought I would live to see the day. I never thought this day would come. But KFC has dropped its slogan finger-licking good. What? Really? Because it doesn't feel quite right during the pandemic

to be licking your fingers. Oh, surely, surely that's fine. You know, that's okay. It's thinking other people's fingers is the problem. Yeah. I didn't realize. I've seen no health advisory saying that you shouldn't lick your fingers. I've been going around and licking my fingers everywhere. Yeah, I don't even have hand sanitizer. I just lick them clean.

That's what works, right? Well, I'm glad that they've done this to raise public awareness that that's not the thing to do. I mean, in our COVID-watch segment, a lot of people in Melbourne have been going to KFC. So anything they can do to make their product less attractive would be in our public health interests. Yes.

Well, I mean, what would be a good slogan for KFC now? I mean, how are you supposed to eat it without using your fingers? Hmm, yeah. What about something like poultry at poultry prices? I mean, I think there's slogan should just be what I think whenever I ponder KFC, which is fuck it, we're going to die anyway. Like that's... Yes, that's good.

Or maybe, you know, it's just... Or just like two minutes of happiness for a lifetime of regret. Yeah, it's a treat you can enjoy once a decade. But Dom, you've got to focus on the good things about whatever you're trying to sell. Oh, okay. That's the art of advertising. So I was thinking, what about we've got better toilets than Maccas? Oh, yeah.

That works. I reckon there should be like a Melbourne-specific one. Oh, yeah. It's like KFC, if you like it, call the cops. I like it. Or don't call the cops. There's a joke in there. All right.

Now I'm going to head to France, where two police people have been critical. for their reaction to two women who were sunbaking topless. So apparently they said something to the women and now everyone is angry at the gendarmes, including their boss who is the Interior Minister of France. Well, I mean, this is France. So presumably everyone's outrage because the police didn't proposition these topless sunbaked.

I mean, you're pretty close. Dom, do you want to have a guess? I mean, I'm imagining it being fronts they were going to arrest them for not taking their bottoms off as well. And we were talking in the podcast last week about the world's largest nude colony in France. Yes. Well, I'd say Charles gets a point for this one

because the gendarmes actually asked the women to cover up at the request of a family nearby. Oh, come on. And the interior minister said, no, women should be able to sunbake topless. I agree with that. How French is that? I mean, what was the family's concern?

Remind me to never go to the beach with Charles. Was this a weird? family that never breastfed their children or like what's the i don't know i think they must have been you know an australian family or something they've got morrison's family they're very conservative well tiny abbott's just been in europe it's probably him and what how do you reckon these gendarmes should be punished for telling women to cover up i think they should be forced to just look at breasts for i'm just kidding how do you think i think i think i should be forced to wear We're pants with, with no crotch for a week.

What? That makes no sense. For the sun, for the purpose of the sun. Oh, it's very French, yeah. They've got to be made to be more French, don't they? So they should be forced fed. No, they should be forced fed. What do they feed those duck livers that, you know, what's the...

Paté? Oh, it should be forced fed so their livers become huge. Yeah, yeah, yeah. To make them more French. No, that's terrible. Should we just move on? Let's just move on. So enough about naked Europeans, let's go to Germany.

Oh, you're great. Where I have another story about naked Europeans. Ooh, okay. So you may have seen these photos floating around the past couple of weeks of a naked man chasing a wild boar around a park. I think your internet is very different to my internet, Nita. What do you mean floating around? I think you've got to search for naked man.

No, no, no. Please, Charles, I'm not. not searching for naked men. There's nothing more horrific to me than a naked man. I agree. Isn't this what TikTok is? Isn't this why TikTok's worth billions of dollars? Because it only contains photos of naked Europeans chasing wild boars. I mean, if only, it truly, TikTok is mostly children. But the man, so this hasn't popped up on your Facebook because this is something that was shared on my Facebook, just because it's such a funny picture. Because the picture is like, it's like a luscious green park and there's like people, um, sunbathing.

like near this lake and in the middle of the picture there's quite like a big man just chasing a pig through the bunch of people when you say big i assume you mean a fatty yeah yeah right i mean in our youth nina this would this footage would have had the bennie hill music part well it is it's funny and the the reason he's chasing the bad the sorry the reason he is chasing the bore is um this pig took a yellow bag that belonged to the man and inside the yellow bag was his laptop. So he was, like, desperate to get the bag back. Right, okay.

Well, then that seems like, it seems almost un-newsworthy, doesn't it? The bore probably just wanted to go on the internet because of all the photos of naked men chasing addibles. Maybe he's sick of being called a bore all the time and he wanted to do something exciting with his life. Oh, God. Oh, my God.

Nina's showing us the photo. That is a very good photo. I can understand why I got shared on Facebook. And it reminds me of the streakers at the football, only there's balls in this one to make it even better. I want to use your Facebook book account. It's far more exciting than mine. It probably is.

It turns out the forestry office in Germany actually wants to kill the boar. They want a swift punishment for this boar. What they should be doing is putting a GoPro on it and ripping in the viral content box. They really should.

But the word that they use instead of kill, they used a very different word, which was like somehow much more sinister. Do you want to have a crack at guessing which word was used? I mean, you're asking for a German euphemism for killing. You realise what that is? Yeah. Yeah. They want a final solution to the boar? It's close.

They want to withdraw the boar. Oh God. They want the boar to be withdrawn. So sinister and yet to do with banks. That sounds pretty German. And now, as a result of the forestry office wanting to kill the boar, there are now protests to try and save the boar.

Not all boars. Not all boars, just this one specific boar. Imagine if they go to war about this. It'll be the boar war war. The second Boer War The Second Boer War II But there are three main reasons That the boar should be saved

In people's opinions And I want to see if you can guess Any of the reasons Why it should be saved Yeah, why, there's three core reasons That the boar should be saved Why do we save the bacon of the boar? Well, I think it's figured out how to make

You know, fat middle-aged men exercise I need a bore to steal my laptop Is it something to do with, you know, that it's got a good Facebook following and that it would be a waste of its influence? That's close. So one of the points is that the bore has brought people joy because of the pictures. Yes. Based on Marie Kondo, the bore has absolutely sparked joy.

Yeah, the bore should, we should keep the bore. No, but I think the bore no longer gives us joy, doesn't it? Like, that was something that, like, isn't her thing we now withdraw the bore? Well, no, but the bore will continue to bring people joy is the presumption. Anyway, the boar is also, it has a name. I'll tell you the other two points. The boar has a name and the boar is called Elsa. And Elsa?

Yeah, Elsa, like from Frozen. That's a slam dunk. Yeah, exactly. We've drawing on from Frozen. I mean, we've tried. We've really tried to cancel Frozen. And the last reason that the boar should be saved is because it has young babies. And you can actually see in the picture the young little babies chasing its mother behind the men.

Isn't that sweet? One day they'll grow up and steal laptops from... their own naked men. Yeah, nature is healing. We are the virus. Anyway, that's all we have time for. For more naked European content, please check us out on Facebook, Twitter.

Or just Google, naked European content. Or Charles Facebook page. Your Facebook page. It's your Facebook page. And if you are a bore who's stolen someone's device and are listening to our podcast, give us five stars with yours now.