The Chaser Report - Extra - Mining the Moon

Episode Date: September 30, 2020

Two statues of a fish have been abolished in Morocco simply because locals thought they looked a tiny teensy bit like giant penises. The Thai government is mailing litter back to people who litter. Repeat offenders face five years in jail. Does this go far enough? And NASA has announced plans to mine the moon. Plus Rebecca De Unamuno with all the news you can't trust.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What's better than a well-marbled ribby sizzling on the barbecue? A well-marbled ribby sizzling on the barbecue that was carefully selected by an Instacart shopper and delivered to your door. A well-marbled ribai you ordered without even leaving the kitty pool. Whatever groceries your summer calls for, Instacart has you covered. Download the Instacart app and enjoy $0 delivery fees on your first three orders. Service fees, exclusions, and terms apply. Instacart. Groceries that over-deliver. The Chaser Report, Global World International News Headlines Update, with Rebecca Dayunamuno.

Republicans are today reeling at the revelations that Donald Trump has paid just $750 federal income taxes on billions of dollars of revenue, which they say is far more than any self-respecting millionaire should ever give to the government. Republican critics said that any half-competent billionaire would receive money from the government, not pay money to it. A couple who are planning their wedding in South Australia have renamed it a Liberal Party conference in order for their wedding to be exempt from COVID-19 limits on the number of people they can invite.

Organisers say the loophole is available to anyone planning a wedding as long as the wedding is powered with non-renewable energy and diamond engagement rings are replaced with lumps of coal. God has broken her silence and announced that she is adding an extra page to her biography, the Bible, to specifically discuss the actions of joy. George Pell. Supporters of the Cardinal have long said that only God can pass judgment on

Pell. God said that if that was the case, then that's exactly what she would do and that her judgment of him is that he is a total cunt. That's the latest Chaser headlines. Check out chaser.com.com for more. Now it's time for a wrap-up of the news around the world with Charles, Dom and Nina. Thanks, Beck. Now it's time for So, Dom and Charles, you might be interested in this story. In Morocco, two giant statues of fish jumping into the air have been demolished. Right. Yeah.

I'm interested. Don't want you to think I'm not interested. The world is suffering through an unprecedented pandemic. Wales are dying off Tasmania. Everything's going to shit. But sure, let's talk about the statues of fish. Yeah. And the two statues of fish are also dying.

So, you know, nature is dying. We are the virus. No, the reason that these two fish statues have been demolished is because many people in the town where they are have complained that the fish statues are phallic looking and they're also a peach colour, which isn't doing them any basis. Is it because the peach reminds them of human skin or is it just because peach is a bad colour? I think it's because it reminds them of human skin because the other thing is if you click

the link that I've given to you, you can actually see the pictures, they've got the kind of like head shape like they've got little ridges where a penis head would be they look exactly like penises yeah they they really do they are penis fishes they are penis fishes you know there are two types of penis fish i found out right there's penis feet sorry this is a very tangent i want to know i want to know so the first type is like this type of very long fish like it's like a big pink tube and they often just wash up on the beach and everyone calls them penis fish or dego fish, right? But the other one,

and this is like the original penis fish that I heard about, is in the Amazon, if you like pee in the Amazon river, tiny little fish will swim into your dick. Yeah, they swim up the urine stream. I thought you were going to say that the two types were cut and uncut.

But anyway, right, so look, if you go and look online, Morocco penis fish statue, yes, they do look knobbish. That's absolutely fair. Why did people go, oh, you know what we should do? We should build a statue of penis fish.

I don't know, to be honest. Is it because they colonised Morocco and Scott Morrison got involved? I admire this. I mean, normally penises are sort of disguised as skyscrapers or sports cars or other phallic symbols. These are just fallacies. Like, there's no conceding. It's just a big cock. They've got two little eyes.

It's a cock with eyes. Well, Charles, to your question, why did they build this? No one knows the locals are furious that they were built at all. And I just also give kudos to the daily mail, and I never do this. But the headline, locals say they should never have been erected. I mean, come on. That is good work. I know the locals actually said there would be much better things to spend money on

than these penis fish statues. So there you go. But I mean, don't you think having a pornographic fish statue would bring more people to this coastal town? I want to go. Like, top of those, I was going to head to everywhere. But Dom, you're from, COVID's over. You're from Australia.

We're used to going around seeing big things in country towns. That's us. If it was in Australia, it would work. But it's because it's overseas. You don't go, the big penis. That'd be perfect for sort of golden or something. Well, we do have a big knob, but it's Clive Palmer. Clive Palmer.

Anyway, now let's head to Thailand where a popular tourist destination called Kauai National Park is attempting to preserve nature in a very interesting way. So basically the Thai environmental minister has, warn visitors that if they don't use the bins provided, they will have their rubbish mailed back to their homes with a little note that says, you forgot these things. Would this work on you? Would this stop you from littering? This is genius.

We should ask Dom because he's the expert in not picking up things that he really should pick up on the street. Are you a litterer? Are you a tosser? Allegedly, I didn't pick up my dog's poo one time and someone saw me and reported it. I still just picked that out on radio. rang into the radio station. It was definitely good content.

Which radio station? Obviously, AAA, we're talking about poo. But we don't work to anymore. We work for a better place, don't we know? So, anyway, point being, I think that does make sense. And in fact, given that I now am in a park regularly with lots of dog poo, I think that would be a brilliant idea. Post it back to the owner.

You forgot this. It's sort of like a flatmate thing, isn't it? It's sort of passive. You forgot this. Yeah, that's what I thought as well. Like, isn't there a nicer, a better way to give them this message? Like, you're a fuckwit? I actually think this makes me realise, and not for the first time,

that Craig Rookastle's been wasting his time. I mean, he's been trying to shame and educate Australia into, you know, doing better with waste. We just need this. We don't need Rook Castle moralising and lecturing. We just need this system. Fuck off Ruc Castle. It wouldn't work in Australia, Dom, because it would take about five months to be returned

via Australia Post. That's true. Imagine how much it would stick much. I think that you need to have an escalation. Just like the flatmates thing, you need to, you know, the first message to be, oh, you forgot this, then the next time it happens, it's like fucking pick up your, you know, your mess. And then the third one, what would the third one be? It would be sort of, I'm going to hunt you down and kill you.

Well, I think you get the secret police in Thailand to come in and put it in your bed or you just escalate it so that you can't avoid the conflict. consequences of littering. I like that. And then you have a town meeting where they all sit down until you're a litterer. Well, actually, the Thai environmental minister thinks that's too many chances because after you get sent the rubbish, you actually get reported to the police at the same time and have to pay a very, very expensive fine. And you could face up to five years in jail. So is that aggressive enough for you, Charles? I reckon Craig wrote those laws. But that is such a Craig law.

I'm thinking about Thailand has all that rule, you know, has all those rules about insulting the king and the queen and so on. So I guess by the standards of those laws, five years seems actually quite low. I support this law mainly because Dom would end up being locked up for the rest of his life. Yeah, but by this standard, Charles, as the person who first came up with the idea with the chaser, I think every newspaper we ever printed,

all the thousands of them should be sent back. to you with a note saying you forgot these, but it's rubbish. Oh dear. Anyway, that's enough Earth for now, I think. Let's head to the moon. And I know that's not technically in the category of world news, but it's the world. It's kind of the world. It's the universe news. Anyway, on the moon, NASA has announced that it's looking for private companies to go to the moon and collect dust and rocks from its surface and bring them back to Earth. So, in other words, NASA wants to mine the moon. About time. I mean, usually it's the first. thing we do if we land anywhere new, rather than the second or the third.

I know, but with all this information we have about mining the Earth and its destructive tendencies, I mean, do you think mining the moon is actually a good idea? I don't think it'll ever work, because I don't think there's enough child labour on the moon to create a viable mining operation. Isn't that what most mining operations use? Children are just incredibly poor people who have no safety. Yeah, yeah. I think it's a good idea, because if you really reflect on it, do we need to?

the moon? I mean, we need the Pilbara. We need all these other regions that are mine. But I think we could cope fine without the moon. I need the moon to tell me that it's night time, because otherwise I can't tell. You would put it an alert on your phone. You wouldn't have tides if you didn't have the moon. That'd be good. No surfers. Well, anyway, the NASA administrator, Jim Bridenstein, actually said mining the moon would fully comply with the outer space treaty of 1967. So that means even if NASA from America mined the moon, it would still mean that no country would lay sovereign claim to it. But they don't care anyway.

I mean, this administration just to open up the Alaskan like wildlife reserve for mining, just mine whatever, mind anything you like, mine Trump Tower. Well, my only issue is that if America starts mining on the moon, then won't other countries want to start mining on the moon? And I mean, there have been so many wars over resources on Earth. I mean, will this lead to real-life Star Wars or moon wars? Yeah, it'd be a lame version. Moon, Lord.

It'd be the version that has sort of Bill Paxton and Vin Diesel. Yeah, Vin Diesel. I'm mining the moon. No, I guess if that's true, but I'd rather they did that there than here. That's thing, it's not an idea, it's, I think just move all the mining to the moon or it's a Mars, like in the movie that I saw a total recall, the documentary. And it's fine to take it off Earth. I don't care where they mine, just as long as it isn't here.

Yeah, I reckon if we can send Gina Reinhart to the moon, then we're all set. Anyway, that's all we've got time for today. Head over to our social media. We're on Twitter, Facebook, TikTok, all the other places. Or head over to our website, chaser.com.com.com.com slash podcast. Thanks for listening. Bye. What's better than a well-marbled ribby sizzling on the barbecue? A well-marbled ribby sizzling on the barbecue that was carefully selected by an Instacart shopper and delivered to your door.

A well-marbled ribby you ordered without even leave you. the kitty pool. Whatever groceries your summer calls for, Instacart has you covered. Download the Instacart app and enjoy $0 delivery fees on your first three orders. Service fees, exclusions, and terms apply. Instacart, groceries that over-deliver.