The Chaser Report - Extra - Stupid World Records

Episode Date: October 13, 2020

Dom runs Nina and Charles through some of humanity's finest achievements with another wrap up of the latest world records. Plus all the latest Chaser news headlines from Rebecca De Unamuno.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Chaser Report, Global World International News Headlines Update with Rebecca Dayunamuno. There have been calls for the New South Wales Premier Gladys Berrigalian to resign after it was revealed in an ICAC hearing yesterday that someone in Sydney had been having fun. It later came out that the person having fun was the Premier herself, even though it has been banned in Sydney for the past five years. Ms. Berrigleyan also appeared to be having fun on the witness stand, sneaking in several disses against her ex. A lot of the time I would have ignored or disregarded what he said is fanciful and information I didn't care to be involved with or interested in. New South Wales is back in lockdown today after an outbreak of mass public illness triggered

by the political sex scandal. Doctors in wards across Australia were forced to leave dry heaving patients in corridors as the supply of beds ran short following the revelation that the New South Wales Premier had been in a Friends with Benefits relationship with a former MP. Doctors have suggested anyone suffering from symptoms immediately inject their eyes with bleach, saying it wouldn't cure you, but it might help blot out the mental image of the two middle-aged MPs going at it. A prospective car bomber has been frustrated after he failed to get his L plates.

Dwayne Jones had joined a far-right militia to liberate Michigan by car bombing the governor's residence, but was thwarted by his inability to reverse park. That's the latest Chaser news. Now it's time for Dom to run Nina and Charles through a whole lot of extremely stupid world records. Thanks, Beck. Now prepare for a celebration of the human spirit of achievement and of excellence as we once again explore.

World records, no one else bothered to attempt. Look, it's been a tough year, Charles and Nina. It's been very rough. It's been a downer. And you're about to make it tougher. And we're about to look. some of the achievements because even though COVID and social distancing have made this year difficult and have kept us indoors, people have still been breaking world records and pushing the boat

out on human excellence. Why? Why do we do this segment, Dom? Because you can. That's the reason why this. I want the world record for the most episodes poured shit on by my car hosts. But I'm not going to let you bring me down, not when there are people in the world, like Stephanie Teneson of Adina in Minnesota,

who broke a Guinness World Record by completing 716 burpees in one hour. Now, come on, Charles. I've seen you try to do burpees. That's amazing. That is 716. Yeah. That's insane. That's like one every 20 seconds or something.

No, one every 30 seconds. No, I reckon I could do it easy. I'm super fit. I've been doing Ashley Biden's Bikini Body Challenge and I'm ready. I would fight this girl. You should. If the borders, if the planes were around, I would go over there and challenge her to a burpee off. That's actually how it happens.

She was watching someone else who did 709 an hour. He's not even original. And her boyfriend went, you could do that. So she started trading and then she did it. I reckon that's a war crime. That's a horrible, horrible thing to force anyone to, or for anyone to volunteer to do. That's horrible. I also think that's such like an anti-climactic story.

Like some guy was like, babe, you could do that. And she was like, yeah, I can. And then she did. It's like, that would be the worst biopic ever. It's like she thought she could and then she did. The whole thing's over up to five minutes. Charles, how many burpees can you do in a row? Do you think in an hour?

Dom, I don't think you should be pouring shit on me for your fitness. Oh, wait, did you say burpees? I thought you said burps. Sorry, I changed my whole person. Oh, don't, you guys are so disgusting. I hate this. No. Do we share these?

Mike. Is anyone counting? So if I cough, by the way, sorry, I've got a chest thing of the usual sort, which is not COVID. He's got COVID. He's got COVID up the chest. Are you guys fans of the MCU, the Marvel comic universe? No, not fucking nerds, Dom. How many times do I have to tell you?

Yeah, we're trendy and cool. Well, he won't like this. And Andy Holt, an amazing man, created a massive pair of mechanical wings for his cosplay outfit and got the world record for the largest mechanical wings on a cosplay suit. That is not a record, 19 feet, two inches. Those are big wings.

Okay, but do they work? No. Well, then what is the fucking point? It's cosplay. What were they made out of? I don't know, actually. They were mechanised, though. They moved as wings, except that they couldn't fly.

Like, they, he did an incredible job except for the main function of wings. But other than that, it's very inspiring. He's like, God, crap. the penguin. All right. I can see the floor. Now that I look at this, I can see the slight floor with that particular record.

What did he make them from clay? What's the go? Yeah, good point. So, let's head to Italy. He's like the opposite of Icarus. He should have made them from wax. Yeah.

And they're not flown up to the sun. He used to spit tapes. Because they didn't work. He flew too far away from the sun. He flew exactly the right distance from the sun. And he still failed. So to Italy now. And this is really this, if you want a biopic, this is a good biopic.

Let's meet Dimitri Pansiera. In 2013, he captured the world record for balancing ice cream scoops on a single cone. Guess what it was back then? Oh, now, I think you've covered this before, haven't you? It's some amazing numbers, isn't it? It's like four or something. In 2013, he balanced 85 scoops on a single cone. That's pretty great, actually.

So that's your first act. Although, like, how would you do it without melting? That's my question. Because surely you just scoop one and then the other one would drip off and then you'd be like, yeah, I've got 85 scoops. But by the time they'd all melted, you'd have four. It has to be a refrigerator room, wouldn't it? I think.

Okay, so then act two of the story is that Asherita Furman comes in and takes the record with 123. 123 scoops. I feel like there's some sort of cheating thing going on. Like it's a very wide cone. Like, it was it a wide cone? It's like a bowl. I was imagining, you know, like a single.

single coat. I don't think that's possible to do. I love the phrase wide cone in an ice cream context because I've only heard it in other contexts like, yeah man, I had a real wide cone. Context that made you want ice cream. A punch a real wide cone.

So the great thing is there's a TV series in Italy called La Nante Day Record where they break record. So this whole thing's on camera. The great news is that a week or two ago. What does that translate to in English? Is that people who record night? Really? I think it's people who have never had sex.

Do they not have Netflix in Italy? Like, why? Anyway, there's a happy ending. Dmitri Panschera came back in with 125 scoops, ladies and the scoops were then served to the TV show's studio audience. How good is that? That's pretty great. And then when they announced it as the news, they would be like, here's a scoop.

And I scream, here's 125 scoops. They probably all have COVID now, too. They will have COVID. Yeah, that's terribly non-socialistic. You remember the hero of this segment, David Rush, the guy that constantly breaks records in Idaho. He has another one. Oh, yes, he's going to break the record for the most number of records. I think so.

Yeah. He has used one hand to place 38 sandwich cookies like Oreos into a stack in just 30 seconds. So think of 38 Oreos in a stack in 30 seconds. That is not a record. It's not anything. That is not even impressive. It's like one a second. Yeah.

In one hand. What? Well, put a stack of 30s. he used one hand. In one hand. Yeah, he used one, one hand. There's like a packet and a half of Oreos. So you just got a packet and he picked it up. That's what you're telling me.

Wow, the Barford World Records is truly on the ground. It took him 50 tries to get it. Is it that he kept on eating an Oreo and stuffing up his record? Like did he twist it, then he licked it, then he dunked it, then he ate it? Or he just put it in his hand. That'd have been amazing. It's an amazing dunk afterwards, didn't it? That would be actually a great idea for Oreos marketing campaign.

They should just, instead of having a cute kid to it, they just have a guy with 30 Oreos twists in and dunking all at once. Now, as you'll recall, I don't think I'm understanding the record. He's just got 38 Oreos in his head. There's a stack. On a table. You know what they say, 38 Oreos in the hand? He's going to do it in the bush.

He's got a table. He's stacked 38 Oreos on top of each other. Not even in his hand. He's in one hand. On a table. On a really flat surface. It's so dumb. That is not impressive.

What you've got to remember about, David Rush, I always mention this. He's doing this to promote STEM education, science, technology, engineering, maths. Are you now more interested in doing a science degree, Nina? Absolutely not. I'm more interested in Homek, to be honest. He's promoting the, why would you use food to promote science? Yeah. Okay.

Bad luck next record, David. And we've got another one coming up. Now, to Australia, this is very exciting. In Will Bingo, Western Australia, David and Lisa. Sir Mazardis. Why are they always called David? They bred the world's largest blueberry. It weighed in it more than half an ounce.

It was a monster blueberry. It has a diameter of 1.4 inches, this blueberry. It's the size of almost a ping pong ball. It's the size of a small strawberry. That's disgusting. I'm sorry, but have you seen the inside of a blueberry? They look foul. That's why they're small, because you don't want to look at them.

You just put them in your mouth. like no questions ask was you've had a blueberry this big it would be a disaster i'm telling you and what is half an ounce it's like eight grams isn't it i can't remember but it's a big blueberry it's 1.4 inches diameter that's big no diameter that's really small 1.4 inches that's a diameter that's the size of a ping pong ball it's funny if you don't know that you're arguing about blueberries If you think a ping pong ball is really large, I'd feel real pity for your wife. You're thinking of the circumference around the outside. Real subtle, Charles, real subtle.

One one four inches. It's really large. We've got dick jokes on the way. I'm just like to point out. Oh, sorry, we were talking about Blue Ball. I wasn't going to bring this up, but your wife, Charles, tweeted in the past three four hours. It's not how big it is. It's what you do with it.

I would know. Look, I'm just putting that out there. Did she actually? It really puts the blue in the blueboard. She hadn't, she thought of the joke, she hadn't realised that it was about me. And then she kept on going, oh, you've got to retweet it and say, you do know what you've said. I mean, I wasn't going to raise it. But because you literally, when that was out there in the world, attacked my penis size, I had to go there.

I had to go there. Your wife went there first, apparently, repeatedly, and enjoyed it despite the lack of girth. And she went viral, she did. Talking about my penis. Did she actually? Yeah, she went viral. Actually, this is a good test, Charles. You are generally the most shameless man.

in the world. I think even for you, this is too far. Oh, really. Casting with Ben, it always turns into a dick measuring competition. Let's get back to the records. I've got to get one two more. There's a speed round, speed. This has all been done in the past week, by the way.

An artist in Taiwan managed to carve a pencil. If you think of a graphite pencil, he carved it into 168 links of a chain using just the graphite and a pencil. Amazed? No. Confused. No. No.

I did burn it. Yeah. But Pakistan, man. Look, I think this just proves that everyone's bored under COVID and they've decided to do really boring things. All right, back to the Italian TV show. And you've made it into a segment rather than just shut up about it. Well, that's why it's not in the main show.

No, anyway, look, back on the Italian TV show, a man by the name of Muhammad Rashid broke the walnut cracking with your head record, 254 walnuts cracked with his head. Come on. That is an amazing party trick. I don't think it's so hard to crack a walnut with your head. head. 254.

Haven't you cracked stuff on your head before? It's really fun. When I was little, I used to crack pencils on my head. That explained so much about you, Nina. And it hasn't done any damage whatsoever. I'm 100% fine and all my brain cells are functioning. Okay, look, I've got about six records to go.

Let's skip to the last one. No, let's stop. Because this one is inspiring. All right. This is the final ones. You'll be all like this. This will make you feel happy. Okay, good.

All right. Let's go to Chattanooga, Tennessee. Royal Woman by the name of Adrienne Long spent 10 hours and five minutes hugging a tree. The previous record for hugging a tree was 8 hours and 15 minutes. She beat it by nearly two hours.

Come on. For hugging a tree. Hugging a tree for 10 hours. I could hug a tree for 10 hours. I'm sure there's like been protesters that have hung the trees for longer than that. Yes. Yes.

There's a terrible. And also it's just hugging a tree. Is there has to be motion? Arms around it. cuddling, just putting your arms. Big cuddle. How big is the tree? How big is the tree?

I don't. It was a walnut tree. Whoa. Great. Did you crack a head at any? Hald nuts at the same time. But what, like, how was it small? Like what?

I mean, it was huggable size. I don't know the size of it. I don't like it. I don't trust anyone that's the big spoon of a tree. Yeah. I feel like that's not even, like anyone could do that. This is terrible. But it's just literally that nobody has bothered.

Actually, I now support deforestation so no more people can hug trees and make this world record. Cut it down. I'm with Andrew Bolt. Let's just get rid of the tree huggers. Would you rather we talk to about your penis size again? Well, talking of big trunks, hey? Let's hear this here. More episodes of the Chaser Report.

The main one comes out every Friday. That may be changed. A Thursday shortly though. Watch this space. And you can find us Chaser.com.com. you, uh, TikTok apparently, although I would never use that thing, YouTube. And don't forget to follow Charles's wife on Twitter for more quality comedy. You get, add Amanda Tats, I think. It's a good tweet. Go and like it.