The Chaser Report - Extra - T-Rex in the backyard

Episode Date: September 14, 2020

A man in England has gotten into trouble with his wife after he bought a 3.5 metre long replica of a T-Rex. A movie buff in Canada is seeking to break the world record of the number of times a movie has been seen in a cinema, and a Church in Germany is playing a song so slowly that it won't end until 2640. Plus Rebecca De Unamuno with all the latest news you can't trust.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Chaser Report, Global World International News Headlines Update with Rebecca Deunamuno. God has announced she has begun 2020's redemption arc by canceling the TV show Keeping Up with the Kardashians. In an interview with the Chaser, God admitted that in crafting the plot outline for 2020, she may have gone a tad overboard and the rest of 2020 would be spent cleaning up humanity's biggest disasters. God's main rival, Satan, refused to comment, saying he was focused on his latest project, rebranding TikTok to focus on delivering snuff films to children.

A man who says he hates snowflakes who boycott everything has announced he will boycott the Oscars after organizers said they would make the awards more inclusive. His boycott is the latest alongside his boycott of TV networks, movie studios, radio stations, supermarkets, clothing brands, charities, humanitarian organisations, toys, Gillette Razors, Ben and Jerry's ice cream, lolly brands and a cheese company. The man said he hadn't been this mad since those female rappers said the P word. A database compiled by a Chinese firm has been leaked, proving

that it has been gathering information on high-profile Australians. National security experts say the level of detail contained in the database is frightening. One expert said that the database was so extensive, it contained almost as much information about the individuals as Facebook does. That's the latest Chaser news. Check out chaser.com.com.com for more updates. Now it's time for a wrap-up of news around the world with Dom Knight, Charles Firth and Nina O'Yama. Thank you, Beck. Welcome to another mini edition of The Chaser Report, where it's time for International Global News World Roundup. Let's head of the UK. We're a man's wife asked him to spruce up the patio by getting rid of the weeds and maybe buying a

garden gnome, you know, just sort of making things nice outback. What he decided to do instead or spend $3,000 on a 3.5 metre long replica of a charging Tyrannosaurus rex, which he called Dave. He actually had to hire a crane to hoist it into the backyard while she was out. What do you think of that as a response to the request to tidy up the backyard? This is terrible. This is absolutely true. It should have been an allosaurus. I think this woman, this poor woman married a sitcom husband.

That's what I'm hearing. She married fucking Peter Griffin or some shit. Yeah. Or Andy Dwyer from Parks and Rec, which is a good or a bad thing, depending on what kind of person you are. When Adjurno asked him why he did it, he said, look, I thought nothing could possibly look nicer in the garden than a 3.5 meter replica of a magic T-Rex.

So I bought one. I guess it's most people's dream to own. know, 3.5 metre replica over rampaging T-Rex, but they don't have the space of resources to do this, whereas I do. Is it your dream, Charles and then, to put a giant T-Rex somewhere in the house? It is my dream to have enough space to put a giant T-Rex literally anywhere in my house. But if I'd actually do it, I don't know. That's a question for another time.

I mean, it really does go back to the philosophical question of what is the purpose of life. And if it's not that, then what is it? I mean, you have a lizard already, don't you, in your house, chuff? Yeah, if I could make it 3.5 metres long, that would be very scary. I mean, you know what they say? A lizard is a gateway drug to getting a 3.5 metre replica of a giant dinosaurs. Don't tell my wife. So this bloke was hoping to capture his wife's reaction.

And he claims he expected her to be happy about his creative decision. He had the camera set up. He was going to record her on camera, but instead, the night before, she let the dog out to pee, the motion sensor light came on in the backyard very suddenly, and she got the shock of her life confronted with the massive and aggressive-looking T-Rex in the yard. My question to you two, is this a divorceable offence? That is great. Oh, she must have been so scared because it would go.

all the way back to the lizard part of your brain, wouldn't it? Literally the lizard part of your brain. Oh, that is worth. I mean, if they do get divorced, it's worth it. It is worth it. I think, I mean, I actually think this is probably why Henry VIII invented divorce, isn't it? Because Ambelin planted a giant dinosaur in the backyard, Buckingham Palace. I mean, I presume he actually wants to get divorced, and that's, like, this is an extremely

passive-aggressive way of ending the relationship. I feel like maybe it's a Trojan dinosaur, like inside the dinosaur's belly, there's just a bunch of other boys in there, like, oh, sorry, friends, like, you know, all the man's friends that are like, as soon as she leaves him, they're just ready to come out, like, yeah. But look, if you had the resources in the space, to get a huge replica of anything, like, if you could just install anything, 3.5. meters or so in the house, what would it be? I mean, would it be a T-Rex or would you go to something else?

What replica would you choose? Yeah, I would get a 3.5 meter ostentatious just lying down in my house being creepy. That would be very upsetting when you saw it in the backyard and the light came on suddenly, wouldn't it? Yeah, definitely a divorce of all offence. No, I was meaning, you know, like a wombat or a koala or something. I suppose, actually, koala would work quite well because that's almost extinct. So it'd be like another extinct animal.

Oh, like a megafauna. Yeah, getting a megafauna in the backyard. That is a good idea. Yeah, it'd be lovely. The kids would love it. Well, Clive Palmer's the one who's got the giant park full of dinosaurs. Maybe a giant replica of Clive in the backyard would be a lovely ornament. You know, I would actually have the dinosaur in my backyard if it could fit.

That way I could cosplay as Laura Dern, my dream. Now, let's head to, speaking of iconic movies, let's head to Manitoba, Canada, where a cinema buff with some time on his hands, is attempting to set the world record for watching the same movie in the cinema by watching the new Christopher Nolan movie, which is called Tenet 120 times in the cinema. I haven't said it yet, but my friend who saw it on the weekend actually said it's so confusing that you should actually watch one of those explainer YouTube videos before you watch it instead of afterwards.

What do you think, a tenant 120 times, genius or terrible? Is this guy, is his name Ches Lichadillo, Bernie Chance? Strikes me is exactly the sort of thing that Chaz would do. I feel like you would have to watch it 120 times in order to fully grasp it. I mean, that's... No, but I don't think that's true because Inception was his last confusing one, wasn't it? And the way, the key to understanding Chris Nolan films is you just pretend that you're a first-year philosophy student. And then suddenly it all starts to make sense.

That's true. Oh, what if? Yeah, and the only time you explain. explain it is to unsuspecting women who are just at the bar to hang out. But for some reason, you feel compelled to explain to them the plot of the entire movie and why it's important in the history of cinema. What if we are all just brains in buckets? Why don't you come in my apartment to discuss it further? Yeah. Stop it. I'm triggered. I'm triggered. I know someone who did that anyway. That's another story. Let's go to a second location to talk

about the Christian Holland movie. What movie, though, could you watch 120 times? Like, if that's the record, presumably not tender. I think probably twice will be the upper limit for most people. But is there something you could comfortably watch 120 times? Well, I mean, I would watch dumb and dumber 120 times. But I think I already have watched it about 120 times. You do love that, don't you? It's got layers.

It's a bit like a Chris Nolan film. Because it's brilliant. Structurally, it's one of the most, Nina. I just want to explain to you. It's so brilliant. we fucking go. I'm glad we're all in different locations this weekend, recording remotely. Structurally, it's a perfect script because it's entirely character-driven.

You will not see a more character-driven movie ever in any genre because they are incredibly dumb. That's their character. I'm getting a phone call. Oh, no, I have to. to leave this location suddenly. I know how any sentence starting with the word structurally is wanky,

unless it's spoken by an engineer because your house is about to fall down. When you're ready. And even then, even then it's a fine line. All the plot points are character driven because they do things only out of dumbness. It's a brilliant movie.

Yeah. It's like a bad dream that I keep waking up from and ending up in another dream. Does that mean that you've heard the most annoying sound in the world? world 120 times, Charles. And yet... Naina, what would you watch?

I don't see it dumb and dumber, so I don't know that reference. You haven't seen it. No, but isn't that, is it me or that, is that Todd Phillips? No, it's not, is it? Jim Carrey and Jeff Bridges? No. Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniel. Jeff Daniels, sorry, yeah.

Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels. Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels. And the Jeff Jam comedy. Jeff Bridges is a big Lubowski. Yes. See, I'm a woman and I, even I know that, Don. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with you. What's your movie that you would see 120 times, Nina?

I'm intrigued. You, like, you went with a dumb comedy. I would go with, I reckon I'd go with Old Boy, which is actually one of my favorite films. Oh, the ultra-violent South Korean gangster flick. Yeah, it's incredible. So by saying, by picking a foreign film, I'm automatically more knowledgeable about cinema than you.

That's very impressive. I do think that, Structurally, Old Boy, is a perfect film, and it hinges on, like, concepts of Korean culture that white people don't understand, which is why the American version was so shit. You couldn't possibly understand, I'm sure. Now, look, I accused Charles of being somewhat pretentious then with his critique of Duma Duma. We're about to dull the pretension up a whole lot, I think, to the absolute maximum possible in the whole of human history, and I'm not joking.

We're going to talk about John Cage, who is the experimental composer. most famous for the composition 4 minutes 33 which is 4 minutes and 33 seconds of silence Oh yeah, can we play a clip from that real quick? Yeah, here's the whole thing. But he also wrote a piece called organ slash... That wasn't the whole thing.

That didn't go for 4 minutes 33. Well, people can pause it if they want to. So another piece which I think is even wankier was called organ slash ASLSP, meaning as slow as possible. So what it is, it's 8 page. ages of music played incredibly slowly. Some performances of this piece have lasted as long as 12 or 14 hours. Well, an even longer version is being performed at the St. Verchardi Church

in Hubbardstut, Germany at the moment. It began on September 5th, 2001. It's planned to end in the year 2640, meaning the performance will last for 639 years. Does that seem like a good idea to you, structurally, Charles? Look, 10 out of 10 for concept. Like, this is a genius way to sort of milk your royalty rights, isn't it? If only he wasn't dead, he'd be writing it in, yeah. Although he is only getting paid for the one song. So in a way, he's really cooked himself there.

He's only gotten royalty rights for one song that plays for 600 years. Spotify are going to pay him like 0.000 cents for one, one paying it. But, yeah, look, I think this is very, this is an SBS idea, isn't it? I just can't, it's a slow TV idea. Is SBS simulcasting? They've got a channel, a multi-channel divided to it. I mean, it's such a slow TV idea that it will continue from far longer than television as a medium itself.

It does make me wonder, like, do they not have any. anything else to do in Germany? I don't think so. Is the TV really bad there, so they have to do this? Well, it's interesting that you asked that, because this has been a huge television event. Like, this has made the news around the world in the past week, because the big deal was that a chord changed, as in the note that was, so they've got an organ that's in this church that's just always on.

Did somebody have to sit there holding down that cord? No, it's automatic. But what the hilarious thing is, because it's automatic. What's that organ's phone number? When the chord changes, they have to put extra pipes onto the organ. So what happened was when they did this, normally thousands of people come to watch the extra pipe being added. This time the numbers were restricted by COVID. But I'm going to play the before and after.

So here's what it's been doing for the past seven years. It's not bad. Sounds like a refrigerator. I think it is. There's some dissonance there for. Imagine seven years of that noise. Then a whole crowd of people get together and they put two more metal pipes on the organ

so that now for the next few years it's going to make this sound. Oh. That's worse somehow. It's even more dissonant. That can't be good for people. Is this like the people that live around it? You know when you live under like a telegraph fire or like it's a big,

it's like a big structure that like emits radiation and you just, that's what that feels like. That has that energy. It actually sounds like it'd be more dangerous than 5G, doesn't it? Yeah. That's the sound that'll give you COVID for sure. But my favourite thing is, so they do this whole palava with adding the pipe, the extra pipe that makes that extra sound to make it even worse.

have a listen to what happened in the room. You're not supposed to clap in the middle of a song? Huge, huge applause. Maybe they should wait until 2060-40 to clap. Doesn't anyone know? They're Philistines. Well, Charles wouldn't have applauded in the room. What do you think, Nan?

Was that worthy of the clap that they got? Just the one-note change? Absolutely. I really like John Cage's stuff because I think, like, avant-garde artists are just, they're just trolls, man. At the end of the day, like, they're just fucking trolling the world, being like, is this dumb shit art. And the fact that he's going to keep this thing alive for 600 years is amazing.

So clap away. I'll clap. Hang on, I've just got a copy of this music here. And I'm just reading it. And I think that they're out on the note change by about three months. It's going to sound like it's syncopated. Yeah, I've got to say, my critique is that they're playing it a bit far. That's all we've got time for on this mini of the Chaser report.

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You catch you next time.