The Chaser Report - Extra - Welcome to the Future

Episode Date: August 16, 2020

A very special episode in which Charles Firth reviews one of the greatest technological breakthroughs of the past one hundred years. The semiconductor? The jet engine? The 2 in 1 shampoo and conditioner? You'll have to listen to find out. Plus Rebecca De Unamuno with all the latest Chaser news you can't trust. 
 See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Chaser Report, Global World International News Headlines Update with Rebecca Deunamuno. The federal government has announced that all students who fail more than 50% of their classes will no longer be able to access government education loans and instead will be immediately offered jobs in the federal cabinet. Treasurer Josh Frydenberg said that the government could not abide having incompetent buffoons wasting valuable government money on an education they're not completing when they should be using those skills wasting government money in the Treasury Department.

The plan is expected to save $1 million, give or take, $60 billion. Furore has erupted after a racist cartoon about Kamala Harris was published in the Australian on Friday. A representative from News Corporation has demanded to know why Dan Andrews didn't stop the racist cartoon from being published. The police have launched an investigation

to discover who the Victorian opposition leader is. Police say they have no clues and are pleading to the public to come forward with any information. In the wake of the announcement, the Victorian Liberal Party's Facebook page has soared to almost two visitors in the past 24 hours. That's the latest Chaser News. Check out chaser.com.com.com for more updates.

Now it's time for a travel into the future with Charles Firth. Thanks, Beck. And with me today are Nina Ayama and Dom Knight. Hello. Yelp. And today, Welcome to the future. That's right.

This is the segment where I review stupid tech that usually involves some sort of Bluetooth. The future is 100% Bluetooth. It's probably established. And today I've got a particularly special piece of tech. And it's something that helps you with a really, really hard task in your life. Drinking water is not that hard

But seriously, as the day goes on, we always forget Ah, hang on, I should drink some water Thanks, Charles Is that all the app does? Because that's actually pretty good It worked for Doff This isn't just an app, Naina, this is a whole device Designed to help you drink water Because that is a problem, isn't it?

Like forgetting to drink water, it's a terrible Oh, constantly, I'm dehydrogen all the time. My pee is golden. I think we've got a customer here. Well, there you go. Well, in case it's not as much of a problem, because we've got this whole thing called thirst going on that actually already signals when we haven't drunk water, the advertisers need to, you know, paint a scenario. And this is how we did it. I would have the best intentions of drinking that full glass of water that I just sat beside me

as I work, but as the day ticks on, that water just doesn't seem to be going down. See? See? Who has work interesting enough that you forget to drink the water that's in front of you? That is insane. But what does she think she's going to do, like, look at the water and or just, like, end her system by osmosis? Like, it's a decision you need to make.

You don't just, you don't just wait. The water, you don't wait for the water to go inside you. You have to physically, like, choose that action. Yeah, you can't lead an annoying woman to a glass of water, actually. Yeah, and you can't make a drink. You know, when you get thirsty, what do you do? I drink some stuff. You've already got a, there's already a device inside you that tells you when you need to drink water.

But I often, like, sometimes I won't drink water. Like, I'll be thirsty and then I'll be like, you know what, we'll be good for this? A coffee. Because I'm like, then I'll be, like, then I'll have my thirst satiated and I'll be productive. Charles, I think this is a product for money. It's like Nina. Yeah, I have a feeling. So it's called Nina.

It's called the hydrate spark. Okay. I'm listening. Sounds like you should actually get one. Now, you'd sort of think that this would be a nice useful device for you. Yeah. But it would be nothing life changing, surely. And this is where the hydrate spark water bottle comes in and changes your life.

It actually completely changed mine. Completely. Wow. Imagine what sort of a flimsy life you have. A single water bottle. I used to have. glasses of water, bottles of water with no Bluetooth at all. How did I live?

I know. I'm excited to hear about the Bluetooth component. Yes. Well, it is Bluetooth connected. Is it hands free too? It's, well, no, you need to pick it up to do it. But in case you're wondering, like, how is having Bluetooth help when the bottle is just standing there?

I'm very much wondering that. Okay, here we go. Remember that problem of not drinking the water that you've placed right beside you for the day? Solved. And no, not just by notifications on your phone, which it does that too. And funny ones, I might add. What? What?

It's a comedian water bottle? So it sends you jokes about drinking water? That's right. I downloaded the app and the only joke I could get out of it was to drink or not to drink. That is the question. Well, hang on. I mean, on a scale of one to funny is. I know, but that's such a confusing prompt because there's to drink or not to drink.

That is a question. I'd be like, yeah, that is a good question. Do I drink or don't I drink? It's not a call to action. It's a call to existential crisis. Yeah, and I'd already have quite a bit of a headache because I'm quite dehydrated all the time from all the coffee. I'd spiral down. I'd be going, do I drink the water or does the water drink me? No, but you're both missing it, which is that unless there's a whole theory for why the notifications have to be a bit novel and funny all the time. You know, because if things are funny or cute when they're reminding you about water intake, you actually enjoy seeing them and take action.

Well, this is good news. I mean, I know that the hundreds of shows at the Melbourne Comedy Festival were cancelled this year. But as against that, there are comic water bottles now. Now, so I'm so sick of water coming to our country and stealing our jobs. But, you know, like, as they said, like, it's not just about notifications. Can you guess? Can you guess what else it does to remind you if it's not just notifications on your phone?

Does it beep? No. Does it have a speaker and make annoying little jokes like to say, Excuse me. See, this is obviously why you are not Bluetooth product designers. This bottle gives you a visual reminder to quench your thirst with a beautiful glow. See, a glow. So it lights up.

It lights up. Does it? I mean, that actually sounds pretty cool. I'm actually pretty sold on this product. And it glows different colours based on how close you are to your goal. And then it turns into a whole new colour once you've reached your goal for the day. So they're doing gamification of water. Yes, yes, exactly right.

This is the most American product in the universe, right? They really need to grab the brass ring of drinking water. Yeah, that's right. So it downloads your drinking stats to your Fitbit app, right? Okay, so you have to have a Fitbit as well. There's always a third-party, like, device, I feel like involved in these, like an Alexa. But what it means is it answers the long-running American question, which is how do you make drinking water more competitive?

And the answer is you've got to make it social. Add friends that have the hydrate bottle to compete with. It's a whole social platform where you can compete with your friends to drink water. I mean, that sounds like a great time. You get some friends as well. Do they come with the package? Nina, I note that you just have a sort of bit of skepticism about the tone of your voice. Do you think it's useful?

Do you actually think this is a useful product? I'm a little bit more interested because I'm remembering all the drinking games we used to play. with alcoholic beverages. Can you imagine if we had a Bluetooth counter? Yes. A sort of a drinks we had at a party or more? And you feel, instead of putting water in the hydrate bottle, you put in, I don't know, whiskey or so, bourbon, bourbon and coke.

If you drink enough, you also get a glow. You also change colour. But, you know, look, whether you like it or not, there's no judgment when it comes to this bottle. So no judging. If you're one of the special ones that doesn't require anything to remind you throughout the day to drink your water because in my book you're one of the special ones. Yeah, what a great way to turn around because my reaction is, you know, I just remember to drink

when I'm thirsty. I don't need this, but now it's saying, no judgment, you're special. So I'm like, yeah, okay, thank you, bless with water bottle. Yeah, she's quite positive. She's, she's non-judgmental, which I appreciate. So why would you get one? What I want to know is, why on earth would you pay 70 Australian dollars for a bottle that does it? Can anyone give me an answer to that?

I've got a very good answer, which is that in 2020, my life is so empty and meaningless that having a Bluetooth water bottle telling me to drink water would actually be the most social contact I have in most days. Well, Dom, I mean, that's a good answer, but actually the answer is that it actually keeps you more accountable to your goals. Because it's helped keep me accountable of the goals that I've set for myself for the year.

What if my goal is to not spend $70 on absolute shit? What if my goal is to not drink any water and shrivel up like a prune? Well, it could actually help you with that because it would just not remind you. Which is actually, it brings us to the review part of the segment, which is that actually, Nina, if you didn't want to drink water, then this is the perfect product for you because apparently it doesn't work. So in the reviews, these are on their own website, But 30% of the reviews give it one star.

And the only other problem with it, I'll just read you out some of the reviews. One of them is that it doesn't work. So it doesn't accurately track your water. The light only glows after you've taken a drink. Never before as a reminder. You have to put in a new battery each week and the battery itself costs $8. Oh my God. And then the last reviews is it's inaccurate.

I work at a desk job. So every time I pick up the water bottle to take up a drink, it directly goes back onto a flat surface like they recommend. For the last four days, it has said I reached my goal impossibly early. I drank a few sips of water in the morning and then let it sit for two hours while I went to a meeting. When it came back, it said I had suddenly drunk three. bottles of water. I feel like there's a common theory. We've done a few of these segments now.

And almost universally, there's battery problems, there's connection problems that are actually work properly. If only the developers of Bluetooth products had some sort of Bluetooth product to remind them not to make shit products. I think that's a great idea. Or maybe they should just develop a Bluetooth product that reminds you to drink Kool-Aid and then you could drink the Kool-Aid. Very good. I think I'm going to sell something to design. It's just whenever they have an idea. It just goes, no, that's stupid give up. Anyway, that's all we've got time for. Go to chaser.com.com.com.com for all the latest headlines.

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