The Chaser Report - Extra - Welcome to the Future: Smart Forks

Episode Date: September 1, 2020

Is the major problem in your life that you eat too fast? Luckily, Silicon Valley has a solution for you. Charles Firth reviews something that you've always wanted: a bluetooth enabled fork, that comes with its own app. Plus Rebecca De Unamuno with all the latest fake news headlines. 
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The Chaser Report, Global World International News Headlines Update with Rebecca Dayunamuno. There have been calls for China to release an Australian journalist detained in Beijing and arrest Andrew Bolt instead. Polsters say support for locking up Andrew Bolt is at record highs, especially in his home state of Victoria, where people are more likely to personally know him. The head of the Journalists Association said that locking up Andrew Bolt would represent a huge step against press freedom, but that it would be totally worth it.

The Daily Mail's Australian website will be unaffected by Facebook's threat to ban original news reporting. Under the new laws, Facebook will be required to pay publishers of news content for the content they feature, leading Facebook to threaten banning all news content from its platform.

However, because the Daily Mail doesn't contain any actual news, it would be unaffected by the ban. In lighter news, we're heading into the end of the year, year, which means there's now just five more disasters till Christmas. That's the latest Chaser news. Check outchaser.com.com.com for more updates. And now it's time for Charles to take Dom and Nina on another trip into the future. Thanks, Beck, and now it's time for...

Welcome to the future. That's right. This is the segment where I get really high-tech products that are excellent in every way and review them. For those who haven't heard the segment before, it's so not that. So today, this product, I'm not going to tell you what it is, but it solves a problem that I think we can all agree is one of the major problems in the world. I've heard it in my whole life, you're eating too fast. Eat slowly.

Yeah, now, so why do you think eating too fast is a problem? Because you get the hiccups. Yeah, maybe. Dom, do you want to have a... Well, you finish your food too quickly and then you want more food. you know, you're really a beast. And that's the story of my life. What kind of my head talk?

Dom, you are correct. That is exactly the reason. Because it takes 20 minutes to feel full. Because it takes 20 minutes for your brain to tell you to stop eating. I think if I'd heard that music every time I ever write too quickly, I would be very thin now. Like, what's that clockwork orange effect where he is Beethoven's Symphony? And he just...

Bap, bupah, no, I'm not going to be any more. No, so the whole point is that... you know, eating too fast, it's probably one of the major problems in the world. My question is, isn't eating slowly something that it's incredibly easy to do? You'd think that, but so far 43 years haven't managed it. But, I mean, conceptually, I know that it's a good idea. Yeah, it's like a competition, like who can finish the quickest. Yeah.

Right? Everything in life is a competition, including eating. Yeah, because if you eat really quickly, then you're the first dibs on second. Actually, I can see why this is a problem. But according to this manufacturer, it's actually an intractable problem. It's not easy to do. It doesn't take long for your mind to just get distracted. And without even noticing it, you go back to eating too fast. I mean, I just salute these people who are clearly public health geniuses for focusing on this problem rather than COVID.

I mean, this is a far more burning crisis, at least for me, than coronavirus. Charles, are you sure this is a real person and not like a Mike Myers character from the 2000s? This is a video. This is their product video. This is their, like, you know, beautifully produced video, I promise you. It's really cool. This is an expensive product. But the head of vision, do you know what the product is?

I have known. Is it a muzzle? Oh, that's a Bluetooth muzzle. I like it. I like that. What about a Bluetooth, like, um, lap band? Let band? That you can just log into and it expands and makes you feel full.

That would help for me. Nope. It's a butt plug. That would also work. That would make you feel full, to be fair. No, it's a fork. It's a smart fork. If I wasn't smart enough, then the fork had to be smart for me.

That's what I've been missing my whole life. intelligent cutlery. Exactly. So what they've done is they've put a motion sensor into the fork. And why don't we just let a professional voiceover man

to explain exactly how it works. Happy fork will remind you to slow down with a gentle vibration at the handle. This subtle reminder will help you enjoy your meal mindfully and in a relaxed manner. Why nobody came up with the idea

before that? That's the device that is going to change the way people eat. I mean, it's good to say Arnold Schwarzenegger doing a new productive career, isn't it? Get down from the plate. But isn't it...

I'll be back for another bite in the appropriate time. Are you kicking yourself that you didn't think of this? I'm kicking myself that I didn't get one about 20 years ago. My life could have been a whole lot better. I mean, also, the stress relief, it's just so relaxing and gentle to have your fork vibrating constantly while you're trying to eat and nagging you. That's what I need. But Dom, it doesn't just do that.

also actually calculates how much you're eating. But then there's also another issue. The second issue was to devise it in a way that really respects the life of a fork. That's good. I think of all the innocent forks so you could have died otherwise. Well, I don't know about you, but I always respect the life of my fork. Every time I eat, I say thank you for this gracious fork for giving me your service. So what they've done is the fork doesn't, you know,

It doesn't have an LCD because they wouldn't respect the love of a fog if you jammed it all in there. Yeah, and it's tacky. It's tacky to have. Yeah, it's not art. You want to have a nice looking for. You do. And then you just pair it by Bluetooth to your phone.

It's got an amp and it tells you exactly, it's got a whole dashboard about what your fork has done. I mean, isn't that just, it's so obvious. What does the dashboard look like, like take a bite? Well, let's find out. But, ultimately, it's still just a fork. However, now it's suddenly a very intelligent fork. It's a smart fork.

It's a fork that will help you do something. They don't actually tell you what the end does. I mean, look, it sounds like the solution to all of the world slash my problems. These ads sounds like it was written by Donald Trump. It's a smart fork. It's a good fork. It's a smart fork. The fork is a very stable genius.

But, Charles, what do I do when I, for instance, want to eat ice cream with a spoon? Mm. Ah, yes. Well, oh my God, Dom, you're a genius. You've just come up with another product. A smart spoon. That's what we need. Charles, how much is this retail for?

Okay, so this retail's for $90. And I think we should go through some of the reviews. Only $90 to get thin. Yeah, it's cold. It's called the Happy For. You can buy it online. It's, as you might have noticed, it's French design. So it's very elegant, very lovely.

But according to reviews, one reviewer said it's not ready for the big leagues yet. This is just a sort of Amazon review. I could not sink my Whittings scale, which is the thing that weighs you, or my Fitbit to the fork, which I believe is a glitch with the happy fork system. So there you go. You can't, what, I mean, how ridiculous is that that you can't sink your fit bit to your phone? I mean, look, you're going to have to choose.

If you want to lose weight and get fit, you've got to either choose the fit bit and the scale or the fork, I don't know what I'm choosing. The fork. Here you come fork. So another person said, you have to be very conscious of how you move the fork so that it registers that you are eating with it. Right. So it doesn't have the convenience and simplicity of, say, a fork.

No, it doesn't. But, and also it has a tendency to vibrate as you're biting down on the metal fork. Oh, which would be quite unpleasant. Which is incredibly unpleasant, very annoying, very unnatural. And very unpleasant, yes, as it says. Another reviewer says the lights, oh yeah, there's lights on the fork, I didn't tell you, so that you can see, this is honestly true. They said in the head, it lights up so you can see better what you're eating.

So, but the lights don't work very well. Oh, can you imagine if you're like when they're tested it, you're in a beautiful dim French restaurant and there's accordion music playing. Someone's got this massive flashlight on their fork. Well, it doesn't work anyway, so that's all right. I mean, to be fair, if someone did, like, take a picture of what I was eating as I was eating,

like a video of my mouth just chewing something into a mush, like, oh, that would make me want to stop eating, I'm sure. Yeah. Well, this person contacted the company. to tell them of the problem because it was randomly registering their bites rather than being consistent. And the company said that I was eating wrong.

That's great. I mean, I'm not sure. I was excited about this at first tells us, but now, I mean, what the fork is basically doing is as I'm trying to enjoy a meal, it's just keeps saying, you're eating too fast, slow down, you fat shit. And look, my subconscious already does that.

Perfect. And it's telling you you're eating wrong, and there's no wrong way to eat. The fork is gaslighting. Yes. That's what it is. Gosh, it's a middle-aged white fork. Yeah. Why pay $90 for this fork when you can date a man for free?

When you can date Dom. The Chaser Report, news a few days after it happens. Okay, that's it for today. That was great, wasn't it? Check us out at chaser.com.com. You follow us on socials. give us a five-star review on the Apple podcast store thing, whatever it's called. And we'll see you next time.

You can stick a smart fork in this segment. This segment can go fork itself.