The Chaser Report - Extra - What are the celebrities up to?

Episode Date: October 27, 2020

Do you find that the problem with modern media is that you don't get enough inane gossip about celebrities that you don't even care about? If that's the case, then you're going to LOVE this episode of The Chaser Report! Wondering what's going on with the Spice Girls? Wow! We've got all the latest news about that fascinating topic. Oh, and Rebecca De Unamuno with Chaser news headlines.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Chaser Report, Global World International News Headlines Update with Rebecca Deunamuno. Staff at the Herald Sun have today been rushed to hospital after the entire company suffered from whiplash after attempting a rapid pivot against opening up Victoria. Hearing Dan Andrews announced that the state would no longer be in lockdown in 14 days' time, the newspaper's editors frantically rushed to remove all previous articles. from their website, asking for Dan to do exactly that, instead replacing them with stories about how Dan isn't enough of a dictator. Scott Morrison has reiterated there is no need for a federal anti-corruption commission

after the boss of the corporate anti-corruption watchdog was stood down for corruption. The Prime Minister said that the deputy head of ASIC was perfectly capable of running the watchdog until he resigned in disgrace moments later. That's the latest chase and news. now here's a wrap-up of celebrity news from around the world with Charles, Dom and Nina. Thanks, Beck. And now it's time for a new segment called The Celebrities Are At It Again, where I take you through the latest and dumbest celebrity stories,

although being celebrities, this doesn't really take much. Now, Dom and Charles, I don't know if you were big fans of the Spice Girls. Oh, yeah. Really? Yes. Is that after your time, before your time? It's in our time. Can you name all of them?

Oh, yeah? Posh, ginger, sporty, scary and baby. Hey, five points. Very good. I interviewed one of them once. Really? Which one? Sporty.

Oh, fantastic. Well, we're actually talking about the sporty Spires herself today. Oh, wonderful. Was she the one who married David Beckham? No, that would be posh. That's Posh Spice. I'm already winning the segment. Yeah.

Okay, so Sporty was the sporty one. Right, okay. Yeah, she's the sporty one, aka Mel C. not to be confused with Mel B. Who's the black one? Scary Spice. Oh, no, right. Yeah, and she's black.

Anyway, so Mel C has revealed that she's not actually very sporty at all. This week. We've been sold a lie. She said, I'm actually really bad at sport. My hand-eye coordination isn't great. I'm shit at tennis. I'm terrible at golf. And I was always rubbish at football.

I'm not very good at being a team player unless I'm on the Spice Girls. Or as against that, she was the only Spice girl who could sing. That's true. I feel really cheated by this because I invested so much emotional energy in sporty spice being sporty. Yeah, I had to say this, but baby's not a real baby either. But wasn't it because she was a sort of androgynous one? Yeah. So they passed her off as like track suit and stuff to make it look a bit different.

So it wasn't that she was in any way sporty. She was just, you know. She just had abs. Yeah, she just had abs. So it was just working out more than everyone. She's a good one. I interviewed her once, did you know? Yeah, you just, you just mentioned.

But which other, so, can we go through him again? Because which other Spice Girls have liked was? I mean, was Ginger, a real Ginger? Was Ginger the fun one? I mean, was she actually fun in real life? I thought she was the British one. Like, I don't know. She always wore those British dresses.

That was her idea. Ginger's advised with Mel C., wasn't she? No, she was Jerry Halliewell. Jerry Halliwell, obviously. She was the one who was secretly much older than the rest, wasn't she? Really? Well, I just knew that she left. and then she had a chard called like Bluebell Daisy or something crazy.

Anyway, side note. But on reflection, like, how are the spice girls even spicy? Like, I was thinking about this recently. I'm like, why they even, none of the spices are actual spice, except for ginger. That's sort of true. Well, maybe they're spices in the sense that KFC has 11 secret herbs and spices, which tastes not at all of spice. So they're not at all spice.

They're KFC spice girls. Yeah, I'll take that. I just don't think I can believe anything. that I read anymore. I mean, was their record label even a virgin? They didn't even want to zig a cigar with you, Charles. They didn't have that song that's like, if you want to be my lover,

you've got to get with my friends, which I'm always like, I don't know, I don't know. I don't think you should say anything against the Spice Girls. They were essentially, I know you're too young, but they were a cultural movement. This is a Pollyamory positive podcast, which is a thing that's hard to say quickly. Anyway, let's keep on the British theme with a story about Ed Shearin.

Now, Domit Charles, just want to check that you know who Ed Shearine is. Oh, fuck, cool. Yeah, he's the ugly ginger guy. Yeah, I thought that was Charles. It was like a ferret. Well, I just got to check. I just got to check. So he, yeah, he's like the guy that looks like Ron Weasley and sing songs that people

dance to at weddings. But back in 2016, Ed went to a party at Princess Beatrice's Royal Lodge with a bunch of other musicians. As you do. Just a classic, classic move. I'm so down at Earth. He's so relatable. It's a British rite of passage when you're famous.

You're going to get drunk with a royal. But when everyone was super wasted, apparently Princess B got out a giant sword and pretended to Knight James Blunt, who's the guy who sings, You're Beautiful. And when she swung the sword above her head, she didn't realize Ed was standing behind her and the sword sliced open his cheek near his eye

and he had to go to the hospital for stitches. That is the best thing I've ever heard about a member of the royal family. Yeah, nearly, nearly. Nearly killed Ed Sheeran. But now several people actually came out, including James Blunt, to say that this never happened. And they said it's a ridiculous story that Ed Sheeran made up to sell records. But the truth has finally come out. And?

And, well, I just want to ask you what your verdict is. Do you think it's true or false? Well, no, I think it's true. I mean, it's so specific. Yeah, I think it's true. Because I've heard quite a few Ed Sheeran songs. And he does not have the capability to make up. something that interesting.

I'm sorry. He doesn't happen. Well, you're right, it is true. He does have, like, getting, you know, hurt by a royal energy. I feel like he could be hurt by anyone. My next question is, out of all the crimes James Blunt has committed, which is worse, singing the song, You're Beautiful, or giving Ed Shearin a face full of stitches?

I think the best thing would be to simultaneously sing Your Beautiful while sort of disfiguring Ed Shearine. I've got a bit of a confession. Oh, no, Charles. I don't mind that song. I'm partial to your beautiful. And it's actually embarrassing because Spotify now knows that I'll, you know, and I have some playlists where he's on it, you know, just down the back.

It's terrible, criminal. And if, you know, if we have company in one of those playlists is on and then it comes on, I have to always go, oh, it must be on autoplay. Oh, I don't know how they think. I have several times go, oh, I must have gone into the sort of auto play thing. Sorry, I'll just skip that. That's so interesting because last time. time you played a track for us, you actually played nickel back and then you pretended not

to like it as well. Do you have the world's worst taste, Charles? I didn't. Did I play a nickelbeck saw? I was making that up, but now you're, now you're downing myself. You're gaslighting me about my musical tastes. But also, I mean, that song is about stalking too, right? Not only is it offensive to listen to, but the lyrics are like, I saw your face and I'm going to It's basically about harassment on like a bus or something. Yeah, and he was high as well. He saw her for 30 seconds and then never saw her again. It's the worst song in the world from a lyrics per speak.

But if you're lonely and you're sad, you're home. I don't know. You know the strangest thing about James Bond is. I don't know, Charles. This is revealing too much about you. He's genuinely witty on Twitter in a way that I find quite disturbing. Like people try and burn him for writing a shit song and he actually wins almost every banter encounter.

I think Dom's been burnt by James Blunt on Twitter. Well, not as badly said, Shearin. Now to America, where a Texas woman is suing Brad Pitt for $100,000, claiming that the actor proposed to marry her and then took off with $40,000 of her money. So basically, in 2018, a healthcare CEO named Kelly Christina says she was approached by Brad Pitt to help raise money for Hurricane Katrina victims

through his charity, The Make It Right Foundation. She even gave him over $40,000 in appearance fees for events, but he never showed up, always promising that he would show up next time. And it turns out Brad Pitt actually had no idea that this was going on and that she was talking to a catfish the whole time. Oh, no. But even though he has denied involvement, and I think he's proved that he was not involved,

she's still angry and she's still suing Brad Pitt. Well, that's what the law is for. For revenge against people who is catfishing alter egos, let you down. Yeah, right. So, so, and, like, who's her lawyer? He's saying that you can. Lionel Hutz attorney at law. Like, how does she have a case to stand on?

Like, she doesn't. She's paid the lawyer $40,000. It's the same guy. But, I mean, if someone contacted you pretending to be Brad Pitt, wouldn't you be like, hang on, this doesn't make any, like, wouldn't you just be a little bit suspicious? But if you were doing something good, I can totally, like he's he's a good guy he would i often ring up people pretending to be

craigrewcastle oh and trying to get you can you do a craigrewcastle impersonation i'll just uh sorry we're just got to do another take i just got to do another take i just got to do another take i just got to do another take this is the worst as my experience i've ever heard it's giving me like the opposite of the calming chill as they're supposed to have i'll do a proper Craig's impersonation. And that is why you have to not

drink out of coffee cups. Now, can I get another coffee please? Yeah, just get it in a styrofoam cup. I don't give a fucking shit about the environment. Okay,

no offence, Charles, but that was a really bad impersonation. It's great material. It just sounded like you and the things you say. For when Craig next comes on the podcast you can refer back to that. I would believe it if Brad Pitt rang up because I mingle with celebrities all the time,

such as the time I interviewed Mel C for the Spice Girls. Why wouldn't you do it? someone plausible. Like, I think Brad Pitt's a bit... Well, ironically, it was in this case. But no, it's true. It does seem a little bit... Like, you know, someone a little bit more obscure, wouldn't you?

Like, Craig Rookastle for In The Chaser. I mean, Dom, are you even sure you interviewed Mell C? She seems quite achievable at this stage. I do think it was her because it was to promote, like, Jesus Christ Superstar, which she then came and did in Australia. But also, there's a very long period of the interview where she's actually just laughing at me for some reason. It was like, it was just, she misunderstood what I said.

Wow. And she just, he thinks it's a connection. She spends 30 minutes just basically heeping shit on me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, she hasn't met me. And Don thinks that that's flirting. No, no, definitely wasn't. She was, there was a, laugh at him.

It was like her manager dude was in the room and she was laughing at with him about how crap I was at interviewing. So I think it was the real MLC is what I'm saying. But I still interviewed her. Anyway, that's all. have time for um please follow us on all our social medias and give us a five star rating on iTunes what are the odds of that at this point and if you're if you're mel see and you're listening to the podcast dom's phone number is oh four