The Chaser Report - Extra - World Record Roundup

Episode Date: August 9, 2020

From time to time, Dom Knight makes us endure his list of crap world records from around the world. This is one of those episodes. Plus all the latest Chaser news headlines from Rebecca De Unamuno. 
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The Chaser Report, Global World International News Headlines Update, with Rebecca Dayunamuno. Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews has been labelled as a dictator by a disgruntled man who is able to vote for whoever he wants at the next election. He accused Daniel Andrews of rigging the next election by keeping Victorians alive just so they could vote for him. Victorians have voted for the bookish dictator twice in previous years. The government has announced sweeping reforms to the education sector. Starting this year, the Year 12 finishing certificate will be replaced with the traditional system of just giving all the good jobs to the kids with well-connected parents. Federal ministers who deny that climate change is happening

have today started practising their surprised face in front of the mirror. Experts predict that climate deniers will need a particularly surprised face. for the upcoming bushfire season. That's the latest Chaser news. Check out chaser.com.com.com for more updates. Now it's time for Nina, Charles and Dom. Thank you, Beck. Well, Charles and Nina,

the good news is that even though so many of us are suffering and indoors having a rough time with COVID-19, human achievement continues. World records continue to get broken, which is why we have this segment. World records, no one else bothered to attempt. You're not going to believe what we've gotten up to. As humanity, as a collective bunch of humans, incredible stuff,

a soccer freestyler by the name of Laura Biondo, who from Venezuela, broke the record for the most touches of a soccer ball while running on a treadmill. 170. How amazing is that? Wait, touches on a soccer ball. Is that just touching a soccer ball? I'm not very sports littered.

Yeah, she's kicking the ball. She's running on a treadmill and managed to kick the ball, 170 times in one minute. Wow, that's quite impressive. That's basically three times per second. Yeah, she's very good. You're not meant to be in all the way it generally works is that you're hip shit. All right.

Oh, okay. Well, this woman clearly has a lot of time on her hands. Although, don't we all? Well, and on her feet as well. That's my new slogan. A lot of time on my hands. A lot of balls on my feet. I'm hoping to get on the feet website.

You know the foot finish website? Are you guys on it? No comment. Yeah, whenever the chaser gets overrun by trolls, like pro-Trump trolls or something like that, we turn all our other supporters to get them to send them pictures of feet. Oh, yeah. And it totally works.

If you start responding to trolls with just pictures of your feet, the trolls go away. Oh, really? Yeah, it's really good. Not your own feet, like obviously just... Oh, other people's feet. Your feet fishing. Yeah.

Interesting. No, because there's a website that a lot of Australian celebrities are on that's called like sexy feet Instagram or something. Yes. And where if you ever post your bare feet on that Instagram, you'll get put up on it. But it's mostly men. So that's why I asked if you have...

What, male feet? Male feet, yeah. But what's attractive about... Oh, yeah, look, each to their own. Yeah, sex positive. I feel we've gone a fair way away for the stunning achievements of human. humanity. And there's so many more. There are so many things to talk about. Australia Zoo,

you know, on the Sunshine Coast, Steve Irwin's zoo, they have the world's tallest living giraffe, 18 feet and 8 inches. Isn't that a wonderful accomplishment? What, a giraffe being tall? Wow. I'm amazed. Yep. That never even crossed my mind that that was possible, Dom. Bindy Owen says, we're so proud of our towering guy. He has such a wonderful heart. Yes, which hopefully won't get attacked by a stingray. Too soon. Now let's head to India where an extraordinary thing happened. A lot of the countries in lockdown,

but one hero from Chennai managed to break the world record for solving Rubik's cubes underwater. He solved six in 2.1, seven minutes, all this while taking, without taking another breath. That is the worst record ever, Dom. That is literally the worst record. You can solve a Rubik's cube in about 15 seconds if you're any good. Yeah, I could do it easily.

It should have only taken about a minute and a half at most, which means that it wouldn't have even been impressive under the water because everyone can hold their breath for a little and a half underwater. At this point, I just feel like people are thinking of like random things that like no one would ever put together. You know, they shouldn't get a record prize for that because they're just like, it's too weird. It's like somebody who was very slow at Rubik's cubes can hold their breath a bit.

Yeah, it's like someone just like mad-libbed it. You know, they were like, I can solve. blur in blur while doing blur. And then they put a bunch of things into a hat and they were like, ooh, Rubik's Cube, oh, underwater. Yeah.

Not impressed. Let me challenge your thesis by saying that in the same week, a Canadian, a Colorado teenager managed to set a record for solving Rubik's cubes on a pogo stick. I told you, man. It's conspiracy.

Look, if he'd been holding his breath, I would have been impressed. But, you know, he wasn't. All right, how about this? I'd be more impressive if the person underwater that was solving Rubik's cubes was breathing the whole time.

Yes, that would be good. That would be awesome. That's a world record I want to hear. Get rid of the Rubik's cubes as well. Yeah, just have gills. Let's head to Slovakia now where a mixed martial artist broke the world record

for throwing punches. He threw 322 punches in one minute. Wow, okay, sorry, but cliche much. Seriously, a martial artist throwing punches? Like, how obvious is that? Yeah, it would have been more impressive if he'd done some ballet move or something like that, like a, you know, pirouette.

Like, that would be amazing. He trained for six months to be able to. Oh, and what an achievement at the end of six months to be able to go, I punch fast. 32 punches in a minute. That's amazing. How many raw eggs did he have to drink to make that record? That's what I want to know.

Unfortunately, I don't have the data on that. But I do have, I do have the data on a Polish sculptor set the world record for the largest sculpture of the Titanic made out of amber. It is five feet long. Only five feet? Wait a minute. That is the worst. That is the worst material because amber floats.

So it would be the only model of the Titanic ever that cannot sink. And there was the one thing about the Titanic that's notable. It's that it sinks. I can't believe you didn't ask you, Charles. This poor man spent 12 to 14 hours a day for a month building this model. Wait, only for a month. That's not even that long to spend on something. I've done things that have lasted longer than a month.

There's people in lockdown in Melbourne who've... There's people in lockdown in Melbourne who've done more impressive things than the last month. Yeah, like learn to make masks for people or something. Do something good for someone. For humanity. A mask man out of Amber's no use to anyone. Let's head to Norway, guys, and this is an amazing accomplishment. And Elvis Impersonated broke the record for performing Elvis.

He performed for 50 straight hours, 50 minutes and 50 seconds, singing back-to-back Elvis. Did he perform, like, all of Elvis or just the singing bit? It's like anyone can sing for 50 hours. I've done karaoke. I've been drunk. I've sung for a long time when no wants to hear me. Every karaoke I've ever done with Dom has felt like. like it's going for 50 hours.

So I feel like that's sort of derogical. I think in some ways, wouldn't you be pissed off though if you'd been lining up to do 50 hours, 50 minutes, 50 seconds? And you accidentally went like one second too long or two seconds too long and you stuffed up the whole record. Yeah.

Yeah. Because he was going for 50, 50, 50. Yeah, in some ways. He didn't put in 50. He's very impressive to be able to time it to cut out just at that moment. He must have had to cut out mid-song, sure.

Oh, that's shit. That's so fucking shit. He must have cut out mid-song and then gone and eat a fried banana and peanut butter deep-fried sandwich and then take in like a massive shit. That's why I had to stop. Well, if you're going to really impersonate Elvis,

I mean, you've got to finish shortly by dying. Yes. Yes. That would have been much better. So congratulations to Kiel Henning Bjorn Stud, also known as Kiel Elvis. Now, let's head to Iowa here. Why wouldn't he just call himself Kielvis?

It's like right there. Yeah, poor bloke. Idiot. Now, we've talked about this man before. There's a man by the name of David Rush. David Rush from Iowa. He wants to promote STEM, like scientific education. And what he does to do this is break Guinness World Records.

He's broken more than 150. Including the most number of Guinness World Records, isn't he? No. We'll get on to that. Oh, okay. So David Rush, what he did is in a couple of things this week. He set the record for throwing a frisbee backwards and forwards in an hour. He and a guy who plays ultimate frisbee threw a frisbee 5,341 times in an hour.

Surely you're impressed by that. No, well, there's no sense of accomplishment there because it's just going back and forth. Yeah, I mean, have you ever seen Ultimate Frisbee, the game? Yeah. Fun fact, I actually went to Nationals for Ultimate Frisbee. I'm pretty sure we threw a lot more Frisbee than that. Yeah, and also, you were cheap. something because you had a sort of sense of purpose

because it's an actual game. It was a game. There was a teen sport. I got a goal in the end zone. You know, it's... I reckon this guy probably the most significant part of that thing was that he had a friend. But more importantly, did hearing about this make you believe in science education

and want to go and do some science education? No, but it did make me believe in the power of friendship. All right. Also in July. So all the records I've mentioned have taken place in the past week. Last month, he managed to keep three balloons in the air for one hour and 12 minutes, record, and one hour, one hour and 12 minutes. My nine-year-old could do that. He should.

You get a world record. And he also threw 19 metal chopsticks into an archery target in the time of one minute. That is so shit. There's over three seconds per thing. I think we should challenge this guy to all his world records. because I reckon we could beat all of them. We could knock them off. Straight away.

And we could just watch him crumble as a human being. Yeah, watch that one friend leave. He also set a record for stacking poker chips, 48 chips in 30 seconds. Not even 50. In 30 seconds. It's very impressive how fast his hand move. Okay, but if you think this guy, it's a lot of records, a guy by the name of Ashrita Furman has set more than 600.

And what he did this month to set another record was chopped through 50 watermelons placed on the head of a friend in 60 seconds. He used a machete like the game Fruit Ninja chopped 50 watermelons within one minute. But on the head of a friend. He got that William Tell's spice and just sprinkled it into Fruit Ninja.

I think that is impressive. I think that's actually a good record. I mean, there was an impressive amount of watermelons on the floor afterwards, I can tell you. I'm wondering, Dom, would you be, be willing to be my friend who has a watermelon on their head and I chopped through the watermelons 50 times, would that be right? In a word, no.

I would, but you didn't ask, so you're cut off from friendship. Nina, so you'll... No, I'm not speaking to you anymore. And my favourite record of the month, let's head to Italy and the commune of Loculi on Sardinia. They set a record for cheese. They created the world's largest wheel of pecorino, weighing in it 1,0003,000. 319.5 pounds. They assembled it back in May of last year

and had to season for 12 months before being judged by the Guinness Adjudicator. Come on, massive wheel of pecorino. I'm quite impressed by that, but I just want to say I would be able to set the world record for eating the largest wheel of pecorino in about a minute. There's nothing skillful about that at all. It's just got a lot of cheese. And not even that much.

Like there would be 1,000 kilos of cheese in the average shopping aisle at coal. What I love about this record is that they made the pecorino last year. Then by the time it came time to eat it, they were in lockdown and desperately needed a huge amount of cheap. So it was, it was genius. And that is all the records we have this week.

For more, you can go to chaser.com. There's no world record comment, but there are, you know, humorous articles. You can check out the Chaser on Instagram. Or don't forget our main podcast, it drops every Friday right here.