The Chaser Report - Fit-Shaming

Episode Date: March 16, 2022

Charles has a solution for how to save money on petrol prices, meanwhile John analyses the serious mass of the newest hard-hitting political issues. Plus Dom gives an inspiring message to the children about the future of the climate. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chaser Report. Hello, welcome to The Chaser Report. It's Thursday the 17th of March, 22, John Delmenico, Charles Firth and Dom Knight here. Hello. Hello. Yes, and has anyone noticed that the petrol price is a little bit high at the moment? Just a tad. Just a tad.

I went and, it's so high that I went and test drove a Tesla, because I actually thought it would be cheaper to buy than having a petrol car. Well, actually, Dom, you don't need to do that because I actually have a solution to everyone's petrol price problems. It was like $2.40 or something. Yeah, it's $2.40. It's ridiculous. It's completely ridiculous. No one can afford to travel more than about one kilometer in their car, right? And so, but the other thing that is also true at the moment is that used car prices are also through the roof, right? Why? Literally, my shipbox car, which would normally cost like $8,000 or something like that,

is literally, I looked it up the other day, 16 grand I could get for it, right? It's doubled in the last year or so. So you've just made a fortune out of your property prices accumulating. Are you saying your other major asset is also just absolutely skyrocketed? I hate you. Are you saying you can sell your car now and buy one whole tank of petrol? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's exactly what I'm saying is what you do is sell your cash.

car, and then you'll be able to afford petrol. And then you can drive around as much as you like. You'll be able to afford as much petrol as you like. Yeah, and if you feel down looking at the cost, you can just sniff the petrol and it will make everything better. The one thing we can't do, and I don't want anyone to have reacted, is we can't use public transport. Like, this is dire.

It's scary. It's horrifying. But it's not public transport horrifying. Yeah. Luckily, the trains in Sydney are helping us achieve that goal anyway by not running much at all. And the trains in Adelaide don't exist. So that's also helpful. Thank you, Charles. You've solved my picture. I've solved the problems. Yeah. Genius solution. On today's show, we're going to take a look at the kids whose hopes of sustaining their climate future were crushed

in the court this week. And I'm going to be having a look at the most important political topic right now, prime ministerial waste lines. Yes. That's how I'm voting. It's according to waste line. Who's got the best glow up? go first thorough to Rebecca Dana Minow in the Chastin Newsroom. After receiving backlash for their phallic women's network logo, the PM's office have told the media they have found a brand-new graphic designer to front the program. The new designer, Kyle, from Year 9, has an impressive CV with a long-spanning history in designs on class textbooks that look like both male and female genitalia.

In the hopes of receiving additional funding from the federal government, flood-stricken areas have formally changed their electorate names to Harvey Norman. However, the businessman and altruist, Jerry Harvey, has prevented the change, saying it would be unethical for people in need to receive money that was meant for hard-working billionaires. Women across the country have rolled their eyes out of their skulls today after both the Prime Minister and Leader of the Union. opposition have complained about being scrutinised for their appearance. Women everywhere have sent the two men their thoughts and prayers as the pain of having your work unfairly judged on the basis of how much you weigh is a completely new issue. For a man. That's the latest headlines for The Chaser Report. I'm Rebecca Dayuna Muno. I don't know if you guys can up with the news, but there's a really massive topic that's just taken over the entire

for the last two days. Oh, yeah, is it you crying? It's terrible. I'll play some context back because remember when I spoke to you guys about 60 minutes. Yeah, that's right. And that's a moray. Yeah, there's been one massive talking point from that that has really taken over the new cycle.

Maybe that's the casualty when you drop a massive 18 kilos. But then just a couple of days ago, and there is no denying, Albo looks a million bucks. But it comes at a cost. You can't have your Italian cake and eat it too. Carefully crafted makeover, the dramatic weight loss, new specs, new suits. It's all very well, prime ministerial. Yeah, so that's obviously the biggest takeaway from 60 minutes.

Is that Albo doesn't have takeaway anymore, he? He's lost so much weight. It's now been called Alb. I'm sorry for anyone who's repressed that memory from what I spoke about the other day. It's been, the only reason I bring this up is because, Scott Morrison was on a show called PubTest on Sky News. Oh, with Paul Murray. Yeah, and he has something very interesting to say.

I'm not pretending to be anyone else. We're still wearing the same glasses. Sadly, the same suits. And I weigh about the same. And I don't mind a bit of Italian cake either. So I'm happy in my own skin. I'm not pretending to be anyone else. All right.

Yeah. So Scott Morrison has come out and said that. Find someone who enjoys your jokes as much as Paul Murray enjoys Scott Morrison's. He's always loving it. I want him in here. If that's how low the bar is, just get Paul in the corner laughing at every joke we make. This is hilarious that he would say that he doesn't pretend to be anyone else. Like Scott Morrison spends his entire.

day dressing up as other professions. That's his entire job. True. He's to just cosplay ordinary working Australia. He'll pretend to be pretty much anything except for someone who holds a hose. Yes, that's true. It's the one outfit he won't wear. It's a firefighter.

But even more than that, John, I mean, Sean Kelly was on a few months ago. He wrote an entire book about how Scott Morrison's entire political persona, the sharkies, all that, it's entirely manufactured. Yeah, I've also, yeah, it's a whole thing where, like, um, Apparently doesn't know, like Boris Johnson has perfected this technique to the point where his sister said that's basically how he's lived his entire life since he was a teenager, where if you, there's apparently Boris Johnson's philosophy in life is that if you always seem like you're in on the joke and playing up how dumb you are to the point where it's comedic, it makes it impossible to tell

when you're just actually being dumb. I think Carl Stephanovic really illustrated that beautifully during these two interviews. yeah so a whole so that got brought so no one cared at that on it aired because it was paul murray on sky news so no one saw it except for the crowd of people at the event but then the next morning karl brought that up on the today show and the today show really went in oh no i don't know it was like this really long ran that the today show did which is great because the today show and karl sepanovic would never fat shame anyone or body shame it's always positive body positivity with these guys which is what i

love because now we have, because I've been hoping, I've ever said on the podcast before, I've been hoping for tea in this sort and drama and just some good gossip from politics. And there's no better gossip than a good old fashioned round of body shaming. Yes, yes. But it's sort of the opposite of fat shaming, isn't it? Because what, what Scott Morrison was doing is he was shaming for being in shape. Yeah, it was skinny shame. It was fit shaming. It was a new idea. He was almost being body positive. Bring back fat elbow is what he's saying. So the Labor Party took massive fans that I spent all day talking about

and bringing up different things and also pointing out stuff about Scott Morrison, obviously being a fake person, which I love, because this is just pure entertainment and there's no real consequences to any of this. One thing that some people noticed on TikTok and then also on multiple channels that owned by Labor and on Twitter and on Instagram.

was this clip from the day beforehand. I'm worried about this billionaire from Queensland, total toss, and not your best work, Queensland, Clive Palmer, trying to buy an election, and people can't trust the media. Do we have to go the way of America? You spend a lot of time in America, or can we do stuff about our democracy? Well, first thing is, well, thank you, Julian. It's good to be here in Melbourne.

Number one, Fat Clive. What are we going to do about Fat Clive? We need to do a lot about Fat Clive. Yeah, so that was... Kevin Rudd and Julian Hill saying that the biggest issue with Clive Palmer for our democracy is how fatty is.

But doesn't that just remind us how much better a human being Albo is than Kevin Rudd? Yeah, I mean, Alba... He just immediately go, oh, yeah, that's why we got rid of it. Yeah, the Labour leaders have really improved. What a little cock.

This is the tiniest cock in the world. Don't say little. Oh, sorry, oh shit, I just... I just... Just cock. Oh, no, Cox of Body Part 2. Anyway. Yes.

Oh, yes. There's been another update to the story, which is something that I had noticed when it first happened and why I thought the whole thing was ridiculous, but I didn't think it was a good enough point to bring it on the podcast when it happened, which is that Samantha Maiden has pointed out on News.com. That in January and December, Scott Morrison had been doing,

putting in his, like, Instagram captions and stuff, the fact that he had been going through a body-of-weight transformation, and he had bought a bunch of new clothes. and like at the same time as Albo started doing his new Albo stuff that was setting up a new Scott Morrison a new SCOMO Oh, I understand what happened But because it's Scott Morrison

He wasn't able to see it through So he had an idea that he then floated And then he didn't do it Well they own that's classic SCOMO Probably thought it was like the state's responsibility for him So that he could fat shame Albert I mean that said That is deeply hypocritical

But I think Morrison's on to a winning here because if there's one thing, if there's one way to appeal to Middle Australia, to all the swinging voters out there, it's to say that it's okay not to go to the gym and it's okay to be fat. I mean, after two years of pandemic, I'm on board. We're all on board. Yes. I feel shamed by thin elbow.

Every time I look at thin elbow, I'm reminded of all the days when I should have gotten up and gone to the gym and I didn't and I had Italian cake. Well done, Scott Morrison. I'm looking forward to your second fat term. None of the medical advice contained in the Chaser report should legally be considered medical advice. The Chaser Report. Do you remember that inspiring case last year, Charles and John, where the federal court ruled that the Environment Minister, Susan Lee,

had a duty of care to protect young people from the climate crisis, and that whenever she made a decision, she had to take this into account and protect their interest. It was kind of a David versus Goliath moment. You had eight teenagers, and for some reason, an 86-year-old nun. against the might of the political establishment, and they won. Do you remember how exciting a moment that was thinking about the future of this country? For me, it was weird because as someone part of Gen Z, it was like the first time in my life, but there's ever been a sign that it could possibly be hoped for the future?

Yeah, it was a moment of hope, wasn't it? It was beautiful. And also, it was a really good decision, I think, for our democracy, because it actually made a minister accountable for their decisions. Like, it sort of had wide-reaching implications for the whole of the, you know, governmental system, really, in a way. You've got to look after the public interest as a minister. Yes. Well, this week, Goliath won on appeal.

Ah, fuck. Ah, sure. My daughter's just come to sit on my lap because she really cares about this stuff. So, yes, the court found this week that says in Lee has absolutely no duty of care to protect the environment or to take the health of future generations into account when making decisions. So the court found... So what, did they have to... Did the court find that they have to take Adani into account?

Well, no, this was to do with a coal mine. So the evidence that was not in dispute was that if the mine was expanded, the white having coal mine, it could lead to an extra 100 million tons of carbon dioxide, which is an extra 20% of our climate footprint. That's what this was all about. The court was like, yeah, no, clearly that's going to be very bad, but it found that the minister for the environment can actually be the minister against the environment. Well, that, I mean, that does follow the Westminster system.

That does more closely track with how our government has behaved in the last decade or so. So, I mean, I suppose at least they're sort of locking in reality. That's terrible. I'm so depressed. What are we going to do? The job is to make environmental decisions, right? It doesn't specifically say to stop climate change, does it? There's no way the government would have put, like, there's no way Labor or liberal,

whoever was in charge when they introduced to this section would have, there's no way they would have written something like that that would upset their cult friend. Because it is thin end of the wedge thinking, Don. Like if you, you know, like, does that make, like the minister for women would then have to make decisions in favour of women, which I don't think is the... That's not going to happen.

Same with, you know... Yeah, I mean, and the Minister for Defence would actually have to have a coherent plan to protect the country in the event of an invasion rather than investing in hypothetical submarines? And the Minister of AIS wouldn't be able to just move the entire thing over to the people who run the refugee entomment camps? And the Minister for Health would have to be good at rolling out the vaccine during the middle of the global pandemic.

It's unworkable. So the course done a good thing here. And I think, look, if we're going to talk about duty of care, who really has a duty of care here? Because I want to say the parents' duty of care. Like the parents, when their kids, said we want to do this thing and make legal history they should have said no you can't you'll fail

it's a waste of time just study to the HSC and join an accounting firm that's what you meant to do what about the teachers and this none save up for a deposit on your house that's right and just and if you're worried about the environment just don't make it a waterfront property that's right

it's completely unrealistic I just what they should have done is just crushed these kids dreams and hopes and they should have learnt to accept that nothing ever improves so well done of the federal court for sorting that, for making that very clear. Now, when I disagree about this crushing hopes or not having a good time for the future, because growing up, I constantly heard people older than me being like,

oh, you don't know how good it is right now and it's going to get fast and everything's, and all the stuff you think so happen way in the future will happen closer than you think. And growing up, I heard all the time that the climate disaster thing I'll be doing with at the end of my life. But now, just like everything else, we've had the warning. so things are going to come sooner than we think. Now it's just going to come by the time I'm like 40. And by the time, and so it's like,

we can have hope in knowing that the end is sooner than we plan it to me. Yeah. Wait a minute. Are you not already 40? I thought you were 40 already. That's just the assumption ever makes when they see that I'm bald. Yeah, I mean, look, the bottom line is

Charles and I peaked at the right time. But my favorite aspect of this is that the chief justice of the federal courts are really senior person in our democracy said, look, it's not in dispute that if this coal mine went ahead, it would be a huge danger, I'm going to quote here, to the world and humanity, including to Australians in the future from it. So the court accepted that it was an incredibly stupid and dangerous idea that would destroy our environment irrevocably

and then said, yeah, but we can't stop it. Well, I'm glad they're following the Scott Morrison thing of abrogating responsibility. Yeah, we should probably stop it, but nah. Yeah, you shouldn't put this up in a state court. We don't hold a legal opinion in this court. So there you go. Sorry, kids, your dreams are as dead as you will be when the climate changes irrevocably.

Anyway, we're part of the ACAST-Crader network, our gears from road microphones, and we've got probably 20 years doing this podcast before we all die in a huge fireball. Have a great afternoon.