The Chaser Report - Four Seasons Total Anniversary

Episode Date: November 8, 2021

Charles celebrates the anniversary of Rudy Giuliani’s notorious press conference at the infamous landscaping firm, and Gabbi has a bone to pick with the casting of a new musical movie adaption. Plus John takes a look at the USA’s response to Critical Race theory. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chase of Report. Travis Scott's lawyers have shielded the rapper from liability following a concert on the weekend that left eight people dead. The lawyers cleverly played a 30-second excerpt of sicko mode in court, and the jury immediately concluded that the rapper was doing all he could to disperse the crowds. Elon Musk has made history by letting his Twitter followers decide if he should sell his Tesla stock. The billionaire committed to the sale after 23% of people voted yes and only 11% voted no. He ignored the remaining 66% of votes, calling for him to delete his Twitter account and punch himself in the head. Emmanuel Macron has abdicated his position as French president in order to move to the private sector as the new CEO of McDonald's.

The shocking career change came after McDonald's reached out to McCron, realizing the French president was adept at dealing with ScoMo shit. And finally, the chaser would like to retract and apologize for wrongfully naming Peter Dutton as a prime suspect in the abduction of Cleo Smith. Western Australian police have made it very clear that it was not Peter Dutton this time. That's the latest headlines from the Chaser Newsroom. I'm Rebecca Dayuna Muno. Today's episode of The Chaser Report brought to you by reading pretentious books in public.

Wow, you're so mysterious reading War and Peace on the train. Although it is a shame that you're reading it upside down. Hello and welcome to The Chaser Report for Tuesday, the 9th, November, 2021. This is our second morning edition. Now, why are we doing two a day? We're insane. Hello, Gabby Bulton Charles Firth, I'm Dom Knight. Hello.

Personally, I'm enjoying just being the voice in everyone's ears, sort of morning, noon, night. You want to do a night edition as well? Is that what I'm hearing? Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, God, first. Some of us actually have lives. I don't know. Not anymore.

Not if I've got anything to do with it. Now, today is a very momentous day, guys. Really? Yes. It is the one-year anniversary since Donald Trump sent out that amazing tweet, which it was the tweet was Lawyers Press Conference at Four Seasons, Philadelphia, 11 a.m., right? Classic.

And then, literally, then within 10 minutes, he then sent out, like, literally seven minutes later, no, eight minutes later, he sent out a tweet saying, I mean four seasons landscaping, and then he deleted that tweet, and then went big press conference today at, in Philadelphia, at four seasons, total landscaping, 11.30 a.m. Good for them, honestly.

I bet business boomed after that. It was just the most beautiful moment because my favourite dude, there are so many things to love about that story. The fact that it was next to an adult bookshop, exactly the skeezy sort that Rudy Giuliani you would think would know. But also, I was reading about the whole thing. You remember that the moment before Rudy Giuliani started speaking, the Associated Press, the most respected source of election numbers,

awarded the election to Biden. So he was about to open the mics and started explaining why there was voter fraud. And the seconds before he started speaking, everyone's phones went, the AP has called the election for Joe Biden, it's over. Right. Just so good. It was worthy of Veep.

In fact, I think it's sort of, that was the moment where we were assured that there would never be another season of Veep. They'd internalised it, isn't they? What do you think happened? Do we ever know? Did we ever get to the bottom of, did they book the Four Seasons thinking it was the Four Seasons hotel, but it turned out to be a landscaping place? Or did they not book the Four Seasons, assume they could get it, and then when the Four Seasons turned them down, they had to scramble. I don't pick them for the kind to scramble for a similar name venue, though.

I think it's way more likely that they just thought they'd booked the hotel and it was a landscape. You know what I appreciate about it, though, is that they actually followed through with hosting it at the leg. Because, I mean, in Australia, I just don't think if a fuck up was made that badly with admin, that they would then actually follow through. Like, it's got most, yeah, yeah, yeah, there's something about them actually putting it on that makes me kind of go, that's a bit, it's a bit funny. They kind of do deserve another four years in the White House. Oh, no. No, no, no, no. They deserve another four years of good hold to culture, I suppose.

Well, no, I just think, let's look at what has happened in the last year. Somebody very boring has been in the White House. There's not really been that much content coming from America. No, and he would have an advance team who actually checked, which is so much more boring. I mean, Gabby, you weren't here last year. We, we, like, every show would write itself. It was a gift. You would just literally read out whatever Donald Trump had done.

Only in this room. would you call the political suffering of an entire country content? There were so many great moments. I mean, there are dozens. We don't have time. Yeah, we should probably do a special episode. Remember the riots and stuff? It was great.

No, but you remember the time Melania plagiarized Michelle Obama's speech? Remember when Donald Trump's penis looked like at the toadstool from Mario. Like, there was so much good stuff. But... Patience makes the heart grow fonder. I want to pretend that I do have a heart. And there is an upside to the four seasons. Total landscaping story.

Oh, yeah. which is the company itself has become a major tourist destination. Amazing. They've sold huge amounts of merchandising. They sell everyone wants a T-shirt. Yes. They brought all their employees back in, gave them extra hours, dispatching T-shirts that are much better at the new.

Yeah, yeah. And it's the most beautiful story. It's the only landscaping company that's run by a single mum in Philadelphia, and she's been able to retire off all the money and hand over to her son. They donated quite a lot of the money that they made three T-shirts to an alcohol recovery centre to help prevent future Rudy Giuliani. Isn't that a happy ending?

That is very big. Is that true about the alcohol thing? Yes, absolutely. Let's see the independence. The independent went and visited them and got the story of how their lives had changed. And apparently there's a doco, I think on HBO,

telling the story of the four seasons total landscape family. Coming up on the show today, we talked to John Delmenico, one of the Chaser Writers, and with the most amazing story about, well, American education system. It's a whirlwind.

We've got a bit of an American theme to this episode. It's going to explain how you can accidentally book four seasons to the landscaping. Plus the grassroots democratic movement taking the musical theatre world by storm. Stay with us. Today's episode of The Chaser Report brought to you by reading pretentious books in public. One fish, two fish, redfish, bluefish. Oh my God, we get it, you're smart.

And John Delmenico is on the line now And John, you've been looking into education system in America or something? There's election votes going on now in America regarding like state elections and governor elections And so luckily this year the biggest issue for America is schooling And rules around schooling and education reform Which is really useful for how low their schooling standards are Yeah, yeah, because I went to America and asked them questions about basic mathematics

and they didn't know anything. There's a lot of discussions as well that we're starting to have here. And like all things, when it comes to, like, political discussion, it's good to look to America because, like, we can tell what we're going to be in, like, two to three years' time. Yes, yes. So what's the crystal ball in? So right now, obviously the biggest topic,

the university subject critical race theory? Yes, of course. Because of far right, people are saying that this university subject that's only taught in political and legal studies in some American universities is being taught to primary school kids. Isn't it true that they do? do teach that Columbus came to America that resulted in deaths, and therefore that is a little bit critical of white people. It's lucky you mentioned that, Charles, because Fox News has covered

that exact issue. Oh, really? So I've got a clip now from a discussion that a Fox News host had where they did a Vox Pop, but they mistakenly found someone who, like, knew what they were talking about. Oh dear. Younger children are not being taught critical race theory. They can't understand critical race theory. They're being taught history. Christopher Columbus killed many indigenous people. That's part of history. That is what Christopher Columbus did. Kids have to learn history, the good, the bad, the ugly. So they can become critical. I don't think anybody's against that. I think we have to do a fact check on the Christopher Columbus story as well. They're going to fact check whether

Christopher Columbus came to American killed people. Well, yeah, Fox News isn't going to let something like that get through. They've got Columbus Day, which is celebrating them coming to America and killing indigenous people. Fox News can't just admit that to their audience. But their audience has grown up in America. They would already know that. Well, I mean, if this Fox News host doesn't, then it clearly shows the education system has a bit of an issue,

because that is general knowledge in the rest of the world. So I'm presuming that what's happening is a whole lot of concerned parents and citizens have got together and are saying that we should teach more history. Is that what's happening, John? Well, here, let's just let this next clip from a news source tell us, what's actually going down in Texas where Republicans are testing out laws that they want to bring in nationwide.

This coming after Texas passed a law banning the teaching of concepts that could make individuals feel guilt or anguish due to their race. NBC News obtained exclusive, secretly recorded audio of a school training. We are in the middle of a political mess. The director of curriculum, Gina Petty,

offers an example for teachers. Make sure that if you have a book on the Holocaust that you have one that has opposing that has other... How do you oppose the Holocaust? What?

What? What do you mean? That's like saying if you have a book on how to survive a murderer, make sure you also have a book on how to murder people. Well, no, it'd be more like saying

how to survive a murder and then the other one would be that murder doesn't exist. Oh, my God. Yeah, so the new laws are about having it be as e-course possible. But not by just teaching the actual facts. It's sort of like the same issue their science classes have with intelligent falling, which if you don't know what that is,

scientists made a joke at a school board meeting saying that if we have to teach intelligent design, what about gravity? Why can't we teach intelligent falling? And it backfired because then that district and multiple other districts brought in both intelligent design and intelligent falling into their science. into their science classes. Never make a joke to a religious conservative. And the thing is, it's a sort of circular thing, isn't it?

Because, like, this will happen. This will, people get educated like this. And then they'll think that it's the right thing to think. Like, there's no escaping. You know what's crazy about this, though, is that it seems that the right are fans of enacting this in history classes and science classes. But then when it comes to sexual health classes, all of a sudden abstinence. is key and we're not going to teach options on that at all for safety reasons or for people to make up their own mind.

They should have both sides of the story in sex education. Yeah, they're never going to do that. Here's a great way to have more. Well, maybe not that far. But yeah, it's funny that they're picking and choosing when they wish to give as many options as possible, which is also quite a leftist ideology, which is quite funny. Are you saying that religious conservatives are also hypocritical? Never.

Why? No. Yeah, I don't know. I just think if they're going to start, if they're going to start giving, I don't know, fucking ideological options in history, then they should start giving options in all of their classes. Well, if you're worried about options, I do have what is going on in school board meetings because luckily America televises their school board meetings.

What? What? What do you mean? You could just be flipping through ESPN and all of a sudden you see some random schools PNC. I think a lot of them are online now, and so they only make it on the next. news when they're going crazy. But because like school board means what that happened at like town hall

meetings in America, because the school board would count for like a whole city. That's amazing. There's recordings of each one. And right now they haven't been talking about critical race theory as much because obviously there's the other big issue in education mask mandates. The heated debate

over masks is escalating into physical altercations in various states across the nation. In Texas, a parent ripping a teacher's face mask during a meet the teacher event Monday, according to Ene's school district superintendent Tom Leonard. Attention and misinformation, flowing into county board meetings like this one in San Diego.

Your children and your children's children will be subjugated. They will be asked how many vaccines have you had. Wow. And so that guy screaming at the doories, like, that was a school board meeting. Yeah, that was a concerned parent concerned that, that Dr. Fauci was trying to turn all the kids into Nazis. So these people are parents.

Yeah, in America, there's been campuses that have had to ban parents because they keep hitting teachers when teachers are wearing masks. So they're trying to get COVID out. Because what is the argument there? Like, the masks? They're saying that masks are political. The same because of the amount of political debate around masks and vaccines, especially in America, they're seeing this as bringing politics into teaching.

And the parents are against. that so they're like argue. Do they not believe in individual choice? Like can't a teacher choose to wear a mask if they don't want to get infected? Like how is it affecting them? It isn't Charles. I don't know why looking for the logic line on this. There's no like actual logic to these arguments. They've turned into full-blown riots to the point where police are like heavily guarding car parks and so that for them because parents have been assaulted. There's been physical threats to the families of people who work on school wards. Which again, like pointed out before. Australia is usually about two years behind when it comes to political

discourse in America. Yeah, great. So this is what we've got. If there's any teachers listening to this who thought the last year was tough, just wait for two more years and it's going to get somehow worse. Today's episode of The Chaser Report is brought to you by reading pretentious books in public. Pride and prejudice. More like pride and pretentious. So guys, I've got some goss. Some goss. It's hot stuff. It's like right up there, right on the top of everyone's minds. It's in the theatre world. What's going down in the theatre world?

The hottest news. So obviously if you're aware of, even if you're not a theatre fan, most people are aware of a musical called Wicked, right? Yeah, yeah. Massive, smash it. Yeah, honestly, I'm not a huge fan of it. I really enjoyed Wicked. Yeah, but you know what I think...

It's Wizard of Oz, but from the other perspective. Wicked was made like a lot of other musicals to get non-musical fans into musicals. I think that's why Wicked works, And I think that's why I hate it so much. I've watched them sing, Defying Gravity, the most amazing song for me, the most famous one. And I still hate it. I just think it's just...

Let's hear some news about the stuff that everyone hates in the room. So, I don't know if you're aware. So this massive musical is being made into a movie musical because for some reason, through the pandemic, everyone's brain had a snap and we think that movie musicals are the thing to make. There's been so many. That's great because then they can make it like cats,

which I loved as well. Oh, lucky for you. Tom Hooper, I don't believe, is the director. Or Les Mis, that was also such a great... I have an opinion on that show, too, anyway. But it doesn't matter. So, the main two, so Elfabar and Glinda, have been announced, and they are Cynthia Arrivo and Ariana Grande.

Why the fuck isn't it Adina Menzel and Christian Chenoweth, the people who had originated the roles on Broadway? Because people age? I don't know. They probably don't want to. They did it for like two years of their life. They probably don't want to do it again. But she's Elsa, from Frozen.

But the thing that I find the most hilarious about this is that this movie musical was announced and everyone, everyone's had enough. Everyone in the theatre world, every fan of theatre, they've had enough and they've made a petition. I don't know if you're aware of this. Was it like no more movie musicals, we've had enough?

Oh, I wish. In the Heights, blah, blah, blah, blah. It is, keep James Corden out of Wicked the Movie. Well, I think that's a social movement that we can all get on board. And it's gaining traction. In the 10 minutes we've been sitting in here, it's gone from 19.5,000 to 19,811 signatures.

Oh, wow. So people, it's really picking up. And it's just, it is quite funny because the review, there's like a little section for reasons for signing and people are not holding back. Oh, really? What does it say? Somebody said, we've suffered enough. Because you've got to head it to James Corden because to be singled out as the worst thing about cats,

One of the worst movies ever released that it wasn't adapted from a Scientology book. I mean, well done, James to be that outstanding. Someone else wrote, James Corden ran over my pet dog and then stepped out of his car in a rat suit singing, let's get loud, while thrusting his penis. Someone else said, I'm signing because I couldn't find a petition to deport James Corden out of the USA. Awful stuff. I feel like we should use this collective energy for something a little bit more important.

I know. I know. But don't you think, like, you know, maybe if James Corden became the face of climate change, then everyone would want to stop climate change. That's a good idea. And then solve the world's problem. We have to just redirect the attention.

Yes. Well, actually, he spent so much time in that fucking SUV if he's on freeways in L.A. Carpool karaoke. He probably is creating climate change. I wonder whether this is just punishment, though. Like, you know, if you're going to go and see musicals, movies, which are shit, and they all are, then you deserve to have James Gordon sort of in your face.

Actually, that's true. If you like movie musicals, surely you also like James Gordon because you have no taste. Exactly. Our gear is from road microphones, and we are part of the Acast Creator Network. And we've just done this whole thing of the morning and the afternoon edition. Please leave a review on Apple Podcast. Tell us what you think and make fun of me. There were some really mean ones last week, which we're going to have fun with, I think,

on this Friday. Oh, great. Yes. Hang on, am I the James Corden of this podcast? Can you sing? See ya. Law. Good enough.