The Chaser Report - God (Murdoch) Retires!

Episode Date: September 24, 2023

Rupert Murdoch has stepped down! Or up - we're not entirely sure! Join Charles and Dom as they give the breakdown on why this is Rupert's most humbling day ever. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Chaser Report is recorded on Gatigal Land. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chaser Report. Hello and welcome to The Chaser Report with Dom and Tom and Charles. And Dom, what an amazing end to the week last week. Charles, I can't record. I'm too sad. I didn't think Rupert Murdoch would ever leave the position of CEO of Fox and News. It's a shock that a man in his early 90s would be wanting to give work away. I don't see how this is even possible.

I thought he had decades left. decade. Yeah, well, especially with all the sort of new modern treatments where they scrape the stem cells from aborted fetus. Is that what they do? Is that how he looks so good? Yeah, yeah. Oh, totally. He's got that, he's got that whole aborted fetus sheen. Oh, absolutely. It's a good look. It's a very good look. I would have thought he had several more marriages in him, a lot more. There are still a few newspapers. I think he's done this to free himself up. Offer his main job. Yeah, to sort of start enjoying life and, and, you know, you know, actually do something with his life for once. Yeah, I mean, look, he has a He hasn't bought a few things.

The New York Times, he hasn't bought yet. Well, he wants to buy The Spectator. That's the latest room. Does he? Yes, he is. Because the thing is, he didn't actually step down. He stepped up. He stepped up.

Yeah, because he's now Emeritus chairman. Emeritus. Imagine having the daddy issues that you would presumably have as Lachlan. And then when you finally get a job that's actually not underneath your dad, you know, you get to be the actual head of News Corp. He then, in the same fucking announcement, like, in the second sentence, goes, I will be stepping up as a mirror. I'm not stepping away, and he's still threatened to come into the offices on Friday afternoons. On Friday nights. Friday nights.

Friday nights, a great night to bump me to the old bloke if you work for news. Anywhere in the world. More in a moment. Thank you for your patience. Your call is important. Can't take being on hold anymore. Fizz is 100% online, so you can make the switch in minutes. Plan, sort of $15 a month. Certain conditions apply. Details at fizz.ca. So, Charles, I'm thinking about repositioning myself as a meritist podcast host.

It comes from, Emeritus basically means through merit. Yes. And what merit Murdoch has accumulated during his time running news? What an amazing collection of merit he's had over the years. And there's so many highlight. I particularly like Paul Kelly's editorial for the Australian, which described phone hacking as kind of like an unfortunate thing that happened to News, as though someone had hacked their voicemails.

So, I remember, wasn't it the case that News's voicemails got hacked by some awful perpetrators? Awful dead teenager. Yes. Some teenager, Lord. Well, this is the thing, isn't it? I mean, there's always two sides to those stories. Not in news newspapers. But there is.

Yeah, but if you scratch beneath the surface, in some ways, it was her fault that this dead girl's phone got hacked because that was a very, like, obvious angle for the story to have. If she hadn't wanted a phone to be hacked, she shouldn't have died in the first place. Well, also, she shouldn't have had voicemail. And that's the thing, and particularly a guessable password. Didn't phone hacking rely on the password to voicemail box as being 1, 2, 3, 4? Yeah, well, I think it was 0,000, 0. Or the birthday or something.

Yeah. Yeah. So if you make fuck news, your voicemail password, they can't log in. We should probably tell listeners who don't know about the exact details of the phone hacking story, just how egregious it was. It was a bit agreed. It was the most humble day of Rupert's life. And there haven't been many.

There have not been many humble days of Rupert's life. So what he did was teenage girl gets murdered, of course. And it was Milly Dallis. She was 13 years old in England. And it was in England. And the news of the world, quote unquote, journalists, decided to hack her voicemail to see whether, well, to just see what was happening. and to get some quotes from, you know, consent. Was she missing?

Was she missing or had she been killed? Nobody knew initially. But also, yeah, was she missing? But also, presumably the parents and the police were all ringing her voicemail. They were. Sort of going, oh, look, if you're still alive, you know, can you, can you listen to this? Can you at least give us a signal and stuff of that? And what was happening was, her voicemail was then, like, her messages were then being read.

Yeah, they were being, as though she was checking her voicemail. So just for further clarity, for the, like, internment. and stuff, people actually used to leave voice messages on mobile phones. And you used to be able to ring up and type in your pin from any mobile, from any landline phone and remotely checked the voicemail. That's what this was. This is how news did it, was that they used a landline phone, rang in, and then when the recorded voicemail outgoing message came, you pressed hash or something, typed in the code,

and then you can listen to all the voicemails. They did it to heaps of celebrities because no one ever changed their password from zero, zero, zero, which is the default. So they did that to the dead girl. then her parents, presumably also understood the pass code. And the police, and they would have gone to the telco to try and find out what's going on. And was shocked to find that her voicemails had been listened to. So they thought, well, this girl is not dead.

It gave them hope. She keeps listening to her voicemail messages. Because they thought only she would check her own private message bank. Foolishly not realizing that news of the world journalists also apparently have the right to check your private voicemail. So this absolutely cruel and criminal act was starting. under the complete watch of then the person who was running, which was James Murdoch. James Murdoch ran the News International, which was the British Arm of News Corp at the time. But the editor was Rebecca Brooks, who was one of Rupert Murdoch's favourites.

Yes. And it became very clear as inquiry after inquiry was done into this heinous crime that Rupert Murdoch also had full visibility over this hideous scandal. Well, how do you think Rebecca Brooks got the job? I think she hacked into Rupert's voicemail and found some compromising messages. But no, I mean, this was an appalling thing to have happened to without their consent. I mean, they were just there doing their normal job of nothing resembling journalism at the news of the world, which is one of the most misnamed, news of the world, basically the only news that they broke on a weekly basis.

It came out on Sundays was, oh my goodness, a young lady has her top off on page three. Yeah, it was sort of like a tame version of the Daily Mail. Yes, it was, it was. It was the Daily Mail before the Daily Mail really went Daily Mail. Exactly. That's right. And so this was an appalling, disgraceal thing that they did, which many other tabloids did as well. There was a huge inquiry, Reifordock and James Murdoch had to front it and attempt to display contrition.

Of course, he did that by saying that it was the most humble day of his life, which isn't even really a thing. Because he was describing the day as humble. Yeah, it was the one day. He got it wrong because he never used. inquiry. He didn't say, I am humble, which you can't really say you're humble. When you're a billionaire who runs much of the world's media. But also, you can't boast about being humble. Isn't that what you do when something good happened? You say, oh, it's so humbling to win this award. That's what you say. That's

what he meant. It's so humbling to get to do this. But no, look, it was a low point in a career full of really a lot of, a lot of hype. If you read the Australian, I, for The balance up with the Australian profile, and I read the TELI and the Times, Wall Street Journal. I'd read the whole cross-section of the media. Yes, yes. The NT News only listed his accomplishments when it came to crocodiles, which was a bit unusual.

But basically, it's as though God had gotten a promotion. Yes. I don't even know how it's possible. God gets a promotion. God gets a promotion. That should be the name of this episode. Super God. Yeah.

Well, it's something slightly more powerful than God. Yes. And more omnipotent. That's right. but also working fewer hours, which I think is what you want to do. I mean, look. And also seems to have more eternal life than God. Because, I mean, Jesus only lasted until about the age of 31 or something.

I mean, Rip Murdox lived at least three times as long as Jesus, by this point, I'd say. And had a lot more children. Yes. And a lot more sex scandals, from what we understand. A lot more wives. So Grace Tame was on the shop podcast on Friday. Oh, yes. And she expounded this theory, which I'd never heard before, which I think rang true,

which is that as he gets older, the number of partners he takes increases, and it's been increasing quite rapidly. Oh, yes, that's right. And her theory is that maybe he is stealing their organs. Interesting. And so what he needs to do is as he gets older and his body fails him, he's got to, you know, sort of get more and more wives and girlfriends. Yes.

In order to have, because all his organs are running out. So you're thinking that in the future, rather than hacking, the divorce. male of young women. He might want to actually just sort of store them. Yeah. Hack into them. Okay. Interesting theory. Bottom line is, I mean, he does keep dating younger and younger women. But I mean, to be fair to him, a much younger woman for him now is in her 60s. Isn't that the latest ones in the 60s? Yeah. Well, I think

she left him. Oh, it came and went pretty quickly, yeah. Which I think he's also a problem he has probably at this stage of his life. You've got to hand it to him, Charles. What an incredible job of dominating the world. I mean, few people have managed to impose their will on the world and elect so many problematic governments, really, than Roberto. And he actually said in his promotion statement, he was doing it to fight against the elites. Oh, yes.

His lifelong mission from when he was just a millionaire, not even a billionaire, was to fight the elites. I did see that. I saw that in the statement. I thought, does he understand what that word means. And he does it through truth is what he said. He's always been committed to the truth. The truth, right.

See, the truth might have been hiding on. that voicemail. So I know how to decode this. Oh, okay. Because I've been reading a bit of Marxism. Oh, dear. The thing is, because I've always found it very confusing this whole idea that these right-wing billionaires always railing against the elites, right? Donald Trump does it too. He hates the elite. The liberal elites, right. And what the elites represent is not, what they're talking about is they're not talking about people who are rich and powerful. That's not the elites. That's their friends. What they mean by elites is the liberal elites, the people who actually succeed,

in the liberal arts and who value things and who do that by, you know, studying, you know, in, you know, science or humanities or something like that and gaining expertise through education and experience and who therefore have a value system that doesn't place money at the centre of their value system. They place other things like being really educated or having great taste or having certain values around what a life worth living looks like. I mean, might maybe even kindness and helping those less fortunate than you. Yes, exactly. That's all eliters.

So that's why teachers and nurses and doctors and, God forbid, people like librarians. Oh, God, you don't want those. You know, climate scientists especially. Because actually, at the end of the day, the success that those elites have is actually far more unobtainable for a Rupert or, and especially for his offspring, for people like Lachlan, who let's face it, is the world's dumbest man. Like, he has been given every set of fortunes and luck and everything, and yet he still stuffs up most business deals that he enters, or lawsuits that he tries or, like, just

every step he takes, he stubs his toe. Are you saying that, are you saying that's doing crikey for defamation and then having to give up when it looked like you weren't going to do very well. Are you saying that wasn't a massive success? Yeah, and can we just pause a second and say, Crikey, he's a fucking email newsletter. Like, your dad is the most powerful man in the world. You can't crush a pamphlet.

Leaders crush, you know, kiss his ring every day. And you turn up, you try and sue an email newsletter, and you fail. I mean, what the fuck? You fail at squashing something that Stephen fucking main set up in his bedroom? Thank you for your patience. Your call is important.

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You know, I mean do you fail, Charles. The important point is you fail. You fail into the job of sole chair of news and of Fox. And if you look at his CV, I mean, don't forget one tell. We've got to remember when James Packer and Lachlan Murdoch got together to try and show they're as good as their legendary fathers and absolutely fucked it to a royal degree. Which is the thing that gives you hope, right. Lockland Murdoch is never going to be part of the elites of people who actually know how

to do things or value life on any other scale other than money. But also, he's not going to be very good at taking on this mantle. And I think what you're looking at is, like, the reason why it was such big news, even though, you know, Rupert said he was sticking around, is because we know that this is the beginning of the end. Well, this is the genius of family companies is you can pretty much guarantee that, you know, Rupert was much better than his dad, who let's not forget, and this is the amazing thing about Rupert, is that he started with a newspaper in fucking Adelaide, which is like, to my mind, Starting with a newspaper in Adelaide is harder than having no newspaper at all.

Yes. To try and build a media business. Trying to overcome Adelaide's prejudices and sensibilities in small town back then? Yes. Didn't he start in 1870 or something? Just having to, yeah, exactly. Just having to be in Adelaide. Yeah, of course.

But also not Adelaide in 2003. Adelaide, can you imagine what a small town Adelaide was all those years ago in the 50s and 60s? 1950s, it was like 1950s. Four credit to Rupert Murdoch, but the point of it. He is exceptional, like him or not, utterly exceptional and brilliant a business. Children know, father know, and that's the genius of any inheritance. That's why royalty is such a fucking disaster, because there's always a dud. Look at Kim Jong-un, dud.

Warwick Fairfax completely tanked the Fairfax business because all these dipshits hand their businesses to their children instead of people who are smart at running them. So the best thing you can do if you're a billionaire, if you're a brilliant billionaire, is just sell the fucking thing off, give your kids a trust fund that pays them every year so they can't blow all their money and be happy. That's what Logan Roy should have done in succession. There should have never been any succession. Of course you should have sold it to the smart guy from Sweden

actually knew how to run businesses. I just don't bother. The ultimate lesson of succession is the same as in the Murdoch family. They're dead shits. That sort of talent doesn't span generations. Well, it is true that that is what he largely did. He sold most of his empire to Disney because he knew that the kids weren't up to it. I mean, you don't see Walt Disney's grandchildren hanging around

trying to run the company. I think they've still got some shares. But they're not the CEOs because they don't know how they fucking do it. That's why Charles, you know, you have very illustrious ancestors who you haven't lived up to. So for me. Oh, imagine that. And my children may well be brilliant.

Your children are pretty talented. So far. It's early to say. But we're the runts of the litter. Oh, yeah. And we've just started this little chaser thing that no one ever thought would amount to very much. And it's proven to, you know, kind of kick around the scene for a while.

Do you think maybe we should give it to our kids and they'll turn into it. But maybe if I act as horribly to my son as Keith Murdoch acted towards Rupert and was really abusive and things like that, then maybe my son will take over the chaser and turn it into a horrible right-wing empire. I mean, maybe. But then by the same token, Kerry was terrible to James. And all that did was game for life and render him a husk of a man to the point where I almost feel sorry for him, James Packer.

Anyway, Rupert, congrats on the promotion, mate. That's fantastic. I presume they interviewed for the position. Do you think that CVs were sought from around the business and other people applied? Rupert was the only one who got it? Yeah, yeah. Because the thing is, if you were doing a job interview

and one of the candidates was 92 years old, that's right. So what's your 10-year plan for this company? Where do you see yourself in 20 years? It reminds me, Charles, of actually. We love old people. We do. We just don't know what the running things necessarily.

Some of my favourite parents are old. Yeah. Sure. I mean, Charles, you know who this reminds me of more than anything? It reminds me of Lee Kuan Yew. Lee Kuan Ye, the genius behind starting Singapore. Singapore, yes. So what he did was, he started Singapore as this sort of off-shoot,

got kicked, basically kicked out of Malaysia. They kicked out of the Chinese from Malaysia. He started Singapore. Devastated to be of being kicked out of Malaysia. Starts this as the L Island. His prime minister for life. They have elections, but, you know, no chance. Let's just say there wasn't much chance of Lee Kuan Yew losing an election in Singapore.

Then at one point, his son was a bit young. He didn't want to hand over to him. So he handed over to a guy called Gochok Tong and took on the job of senior minister. And then Gochok Tong was the prime minister. Guess who actually ran Singapore during that period? Lee Kuan. He did.

And then his son, his son became of age and was old enough to become Prime Minister, Lee Sien Lung. And apparently it's defamatory in Singapore to say that Lee Sien Lung got the job through anything other than merit. So I won't. He just happened to, maybe it's one of those examples

where brilliance passes through a family. He was an emeritus. He managed to get the job. So then what they did was Gochok Tonga became senior minister and Lee Kuanu had the job of minister-mentor. Right. So he was like another level of America.

He was like double emeritus. Guess who ran Singapore? Lee Kuan-N-N-N-Rang Singapore, yeah. And that's really what's happening here in news with the same level of brilliance, the same refusal to let go. Oh, and the same absolute corrosive effect on democracy, by the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's good. Yeah, well done, Rupert. But let's not forget. Charles. It was all about truth. It was about truth. That's right. And that's the whole thing.

He's been fighting against the elites with truth. Imagine waking up in the morning and just going, you know what? I'm just going to fight for truth like I do every day. And if it makes me a few bill along the way, well, truth is money and truth. He's sort of the Mahatma Gandhi of our year, isn't he? Absolutely. Not with quite the same commitment to non-violent. But, but yeah, I mean, also very memorable.

Yes. And you wouldn't want to have sex with him. Well, you would if you were. A succession of very high profile success for women. Yeah, that's true. Because you just, don't you just close your eyes and think of the billions. Isn't that how it works? I don't think they did that with Madaghani.

I don't want to know. Look, all I'll say is, Lachlan, if you want to see The Chaser over this episode, I mean, you can, but should you? Yes. Should you? I mean, if you're talking about a fearsome foe, you know, Crikey was an email newsletter.

We don't usually even send out an email newsletter on time. We haven't got the street smarts and the deep pockets of a crikey here at the Chaser, do we? I once chased Lachlan Murdoch through the streets through Downcastle Race Street. Oh, that's nice. It was enormously fun. So I've never been in the same room as Rupert, unfortunately. But you know what? I've got 20 years more to achieve that.

But our mutual friend, who I won't name, did once. And he went up and said to Rupert what he thought of Rupert. Really? Yes. And Rupert apparently just sort of went, oh, well, you're, you know, you spent a lot of time thinking about saying that, didn't you? So, yeah. It's nothing that his conscience doesn't whisper to him in the death of night, I presume. Actually, I presume not.

Our gear is from Ride, and today's episode is brought to you by News Corporation and Fox Corporation. And Sky News. We're part of the Iconiclass Network. For now, until someone buys it. See, yeah. Thank you for your patience. Your call is important. Can't take being on hold anymore.

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