The Chaser Report - GPS Is Over, Maps Are Back | WELCOME TO THE FUTURE

Episode Date: September 4, 2025

Someone — presumably Russia — has figured out how to disable GPS trackers, meaning we now need to rely on maps and paper again. Meanwhile, Charles has found the best high-tech Bluetooth endoscope on the market, for anyone looking to save a buck and do a colonoscopy at home. Plus, Dom has a 1,800-day Duolingo streak.---Buy the Wankernomics book: https://wankernomics.com/bookListen AD FREE: https://thechaserreport.supercast.com/ Follow us on Instagram: @chaserwarSpam Dom's socials: @dom_knightSend Charles voicemails: @charlesfirthEmail us: [e-mail] CEO’s Super-yacht upgrade Fund: https://chaser.com.au/support/ Send complaints to: [e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Chaser Report is recorded on Gadigal Land. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chaser Report. Hello and welcome to a special edition of The Chaser Report, also known as Welcome to the Future. And what a future it is, Charles, a future where GPS can no longer be entirely relied on, which will be devastating news to anyone who has previously ever tried to use GPS. PS for anything at all, ever. And, well, a couple of really amazing Bluetooth products. Yes, they're still releasing new Bluetooth products in 2025.

We're back on blue. I love it. Including, and I don't want to make you sort of skip forward, but we will be covering an endoscope, Bluetooth endoscope. At last. Brown tooth. Let's have some heads.

So, yeah, the first one is, of course, the Russians. The Russians. The Russian. I mean, this is actually fascinating. So this is the idea that the EU's leader, Ursula von der Leyen, was flying the other day. She was in the private plane. And they could no longer navigate via GPS. The GPS systems, which, of course, you'd imagine, aircraft everywhere rely on.

Yes. No longer work. They had to use actually a paper map and a compass to land her Dassault Falcon plane. And, yeah, the concern is that the GPS systems may have been jammed by Russia, which means that Russia has some sort of technological analysis, something, which I must say, it's not something I was expecting this late in the war when they've had all the microchips sort of taken away from them. They probably used an HB pencil and some duct tape and some duct tape

and, you know, did it Soviet style. Well, yeah, it sounds out, it turns out actually, Charles, that this is an ABC report looking at this. They went and talked to someone from the ANU, apparently a few people still work at the ANU. And it's apparently trivially easy to block GPS. It's like you don't have to spend a couple of hundred dollars worth of equipment can block GPS, which is a bit shocking, isn't it? So does Apple Maps just do that? I assume it's built into every iPhone. Yeah, yeah.

No, but I mean, the GPS signals obviously coming from space would be quite faint. So all you need is something that can emit signals on the same frequency, and it's chaotic. Yeah, okay. Which means it's a really, it's going to be really fun next time you try and order Uber Eats dinner or something. I might jam it or get it sent to my place. I mean, we have a friend who uses a mobile phone, a very illegal mobile phone blocker that he takes into meetings. Really? Yes.

And it's actually a sort of notable telehealth. television executive. I see. And he uses it. Why do you block mobile phone signals in the meetings? Because he's sick of people using... Oh, looking at their phones. Looking at their phones in meetings and taking calls.

And so he just comes in, very illegally, just puts the device on the desk. It doesn't look like anything. It just looks like a little hotspot or something. Oh, so you can't tell. And then your phone just doesn't work. It's amazing. I think I've got one of those, like, built into my backpack or something. Or maybe that I...

Or maybe just be with Optus. It's just Optus. Yeah. I don't know what it is. It's just a feature. The reason why I wanted to talk about it on Welcome to the Futures, I think there's a whole new trajectory with technology, which is for most of our lives,

technology's just been getting better and better and better. But now we've reached the stage where the whole world's collapsing and falling apart and, you know, everything's going to shit. At last. Yeah. And shitification is rife. Yeah. And part of that is going to be, you know,

and the world's about to go to war and everything. Nazis is about to take over. hard to fight without GPS, you'd think. Yeah, and so what will actually end up happening is the real breakthroughs in technology are going to be the anti-technology breakthroughs. It's going to be the way you can fuck up all the technologies that we've come to rely on. It's interesting, isn't it? And I've just been reading how, you know, I, having slammed for years the school that you

and I went to because they're absolute refusal to use technology in the classroom and the assistance that everyone use writing and your pens and stuff, that now looks very sensible in the age of chat GPT. And in fact, other schools are doing the same thing. They're not just banning mobile phones in the classroom, but they're banning devices so that everyone's going back to paper and pens. Oh, really? Yeah, and it turns out if the pilot hadn't known how to use a paper map and a compass in that plane,

you know, the president of the European Commissioner, whatever she is, could have been in a very dire strait indeed. Yes, yes. Well, it's probably very lucky that they weren't, presumably the pilot wasn't very young. Because I imagine. Oh, young people would be absolutely hopeless. They'd be hopeless. Young people hopeless.

And they'd be spending the whole time on the bloody TikTok in the cockpit. They wouldn't... No, so, I mean, it's true. You can't rely on any of this technology. I don't know if you found this child, but my mobile phone is, like, in the past couple of months, it's just regularly, and I'm not even slagging opta off here, that's probably their fault, but it's just routinely useless.

Yeah. I don't know. Maybe there's just too many people streaming video or whatever. Well, I've got a theory about that, actually. Yeah. I actually think that 5G is the biggest scam ever sold to consumers ever. It seems hopeless, doesn't it? It's much less reliable than 4G. Way less reliable.

And I was talking to telecoms expert about it a couple of weeks ago. And he was saying, yeah, yeah, but the whole thing about 5Gs, it doesn't work very well indoors. It works very well outdoors. It's just indoors that's the problem, right? And you're going, but where do you use your phone? You use it indoors. Like, that's not an excuse. There's a terrible excuse.

Oh, Charles, I've got, there's something on my phone that's turned on that I didn't know. This is on my iPhone, pro tip for everybody. Yeah. Oh, you've had 5G only. It's 5G standard line and switched on. Yeah, no. Oh, that's off. Yeah, turn that off. That's much better now.

Yeah. All right, right. Well, how'd that get turned on? Probably the Russians. It was the Russians. It would have been the Russians. It was the Russians. And this is what I'm saying is, what are all the other things that the Russians are going to fuck up?

And not just the Russians, but like, probably the Russians, that we've come to rely on. Like dryers. Oh. Washing machines and dryers. Yeah, dishwashers. Now that we've got smart fridges. Like imagine if the Russians decided to just take out everyone's fridges one day. Well, they don't understand fridges in Russia because it's so cold you don't need them.

Isn't that right? I'm not sure. No, but they're notoriously good at hacking, right? It does seem to be. Or the Chinese. Them and the North Koreans. The North Koreans. I mean, they can't raise food, but my goodness, they can break into a system.

Yeah. And so, you know, what happens when, you know, like, so day one of the war against Russia or North Korea or wherever we decide to do war. this week and they go they turn around they do a cyber attack and suddenly everyone's fridge no one can get cold sparkling water i think if they take out our coffee machines first they'll come for our gin and tonics because you know there's a lot of bluetooth coffee machine like a lot of those brevel fancy coffee machines with screens they've got wifi built no imagine we can't fight a wall without caffeine charles we just all have crippling headaches it'd be completely gone it'd be absolutely over i mean i'm worried charles and then if we if they take

at our washing machines and dryers, then we'd be all walking around smelly. Smelly. And it'll, it'll so discontent. It'll be chemical warfare. Everyone will stink. Everyone won't want to talk to each other and hear each other. I mean, imagine whole army battalions, not wanting to unite.

You know, like the whole point about a battalion is you've got to maintain discipline and maintain close proximity. It's a breed of core, Charles. The moment you scatter, you're dead. I mean, I worry, Charles, that for me, personally, the North Koreans will get my Juolingo streak. I think that would be, that would be real.

If you wanted to gut me to the core, yes. I've already, the biggest tragedy of my life already has been, psychops. The time that I lost my, what, 180 day wordal streak because the New York Times stuffed up their back end or something. And my joiling go, I'm, I'm honing in on 1,800 days. I started this in the pandemic.

It's the only thing I've ever stuck to in my entire life. Which language? French and Japanese, and I've started doing chess. Because I want to go in a strategic example. I want to go in a strategic example. It's going as a tragic advantage if the Russians come. Well, surely with your chess skills, you should see several steps ahead and realize that this is a total disaster.

I'm no good at chess. I'm hopeless at it. I keep losing. What else will they take it? They'll take out our smart cars. Oh, my goodness. All the testers. Well, they don't really work much.

That would probably be safer, wouldn't it? Yeah, much safer. Well, but you know they've unleashed the, what's it called, FSD, their automated driving, supposedly supervised. but it isn't. Oh, they've got that? Yeah, it's just arrived in Australia. Have you got it?

No, no, no, it's, you've got to pay $10,000 or something for it, do you? Oh, okay, right. They may launch a subscription. If I get a free 30-day trial, you and I can record an episode trying to do it. Well, you're not driving. While I don't drive. We will definitely die. It will be the final episode of the podcast, but it will be a good way to go.

Yeah. Welcome to the future. And it must and always blame the Russians. Well, actually, I mean, I, What are you more scared of? Elon Musk having authorized access to our systems or the Russians. It's quite difficult. Anyway, so no, it is a worry.

I mean, the fabric of our society, the things that make life bearable. Yes. Like, I mean, TikTok's already a Chinese sirep. They don't even need to hack into that one. They already run it. What else is smart that will... And all the Bluetooth devices, all the smart toothbrushes... Oh, no, they won't work.

Yeah. I think they've been in there. The Russians are in there already. What if the Bluetooth device, the speaker doesn't connect to my phone? phone broadly and reliably. My son-os speaker won't play a song on demand, which is stayed as close since the day I bought it.

Charles, do you think the Russians invented Bluetooth? Is it possible that this has been a long column? It's actually Bluetooth-Tutovsky. Yeah, and from the word go, they put it in everything. But it doesn't work for connecting, but it's very good for surveillance. Yes, I think that's right. It just surveils us.

It probably wasn't that the GPS was jammed on that EU fight. It was probably just the blue jute's fucking up as as normal. It probably wasn't even in the Russians. It probably was literally a phone not in flight mode. Yeah, they didn't put it in flight mode.

Just looking for a connection with someone's AirPods. That's what happened. Yeah. Thank you do she survived because, you know, her tour, her tour, what she was doing was traveling to Eastern Europe to sort of buck up those near the Russia-Ukraine conflict. Oh, dear. Okay, right. I mean, if she hadn't been able to be there,

she wouldn't have been able to improve morale. And they might have got the sense that this war will never end over there. Yeah, there's something we should do an episode about another time. But in the meantime, there's Bluetooth, Charles. What else is on your agenda? Oh, okay. Yeah, now, I promised an endoscope. So we'll end the episode with an endoscope.

It's literally probe into that. Just brace yourselves because this is going to be very classy. So, Daishel-Gon-Mal has released a... You need to do Jorilingo Chinese, I think. Daishawing Mao Has released an endoscope Right A Bluetooth endoscope

Which is pretty amazing right So it's inside your body Using Bluetooth to connect to the outside world Has it? Or does it only when it comes out Does it connect? No no It's got a

Like it's It's got a screen It's like a It's a bit like a switch or something Nintendo Swift Oh I see It's got a little screen And it's got a little

controls Where you can move the camera That's a very special Mario Kart course, isn't it? Up the brown road. 4.3 inch LCD screen. I'm glad it was a screen. It was 4.3 inch, not the endoscope, Charles.

It's got IP67 waterproof certification. Well, that's good. Which is nice. It's 8mm in diameter. Is that big for an endoscope? It's smaller than a centimetre. That's not so bad. That's not so bad.

That's not so bad. Yeah. And the great news, And this is the news that I don't really quite conceive the use of. But it can last 3.5 hours on a single charge. Oh, that's very good. Wonderful. And it's quite a long, it's a 16.5 foot cord.

That's very good. You wouldn't want it to get lost up there, Andrew, not be able to retrieve it. Yeah. And it's only $42. No way. Yeah. So I'm thinking. With the screen and everything.

Yes, because if you have a sort of, colonoscopy, you're talking minimum $800. Oh, it's a lot of money. And that's, you know, like, even with the gas. Well, that'd be good. You wouldn't need to, you could just do it yourself. You wouldn't need to go to some fancy pants gastroenterologist. $42.99.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, just the prep fluid costs $42.99. You do still need that. I think it'll be very sensible. You will need to flush yourself out. That sold separately. And still very advisable. But then the thing is,

is if you want to then hook it up to your computer as well. So it's got its own little 4.3 screen, but it's got Bluetooth, and that will then pipe the video and the photos to your computer. Isn't that amazing? Bluetooth was always a pain in the ass, and now they've made it literal. That is very good.

I just don't know about the Bluetooth transmitter operating while it's inside your body. That doesn't sound ideal. Or is it only when you get it out. No, the MRIs and things like that. I suppose that's true. Your body's very good at it. Well, actually, whenever I put my, presumably whenever I put my phone in my back pocket and have my air pods on, I'm already passing Bluetooth waves through my body. Yeah.

It must be fine. It's not like the Russians invented it to mess with us. But there is another Bluetooth device, which I'm going to use the Indiscope to actually find. Oh, no. That was a joke. No, no, there must be Bluetooth sex toys. That can be another episode. An even classier episode of walking in the future.

Well, there's the circular ring. Yeah, okay. Yeah, no, we're not doing that. Okay. We're part of the Oconiclass Network. And that was especially Oconiclastic. Charles, well done. See you next week.