The Chaser Report - Happy 80th Birthday Trump!

Episode Date: June 16, 2026

To celebrate President Donald J. Trump's 80th birthday, Dom walks Charles through all the objectives the US had before starting a war against Iran. If Trump's plan was for his military to learn lessons, then let's tick that box off!---Listen AD FREE: https://thechaserreport.supercast.com/ Follow us on Instagram: @chaserwarSpam Dom's socials: @dom_knightSend Charles voicemails: @charlesfirthEmail us: [e-mail] CEO’s Super-yacht upgrade Fund: https://chaser.com.au/support/ Send complaints to: [e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Chaser Report is recorded on Gatigal Land. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chaser Report. Hello and welcome to The Chaser Report with Dom and Charles. And Charles, it's time today to eat a little bit of humble pie, you and me, and say two things to Donald J. Trump, President of the United States. I am. First thing, sir, happy birthday. Happy 80th, congratulations on the UFC bout.

Hosted at the White House with very great class and taste. I can't believe it wasn't done before. And secondly, congratulations on winning the war in Iran. It is over or as good as the peace deal is done. It's a great week for Trump. The Nobel Peace Prize is in the bag. Yes. Unless they remember that this is a war he also started.

But he's won the war. Trump won Iran nil. Well, I think, didn't he, he won it? No, he started it before the last peace prize was decided, wasn't it? I think it was after. It was after he didn't get it. He was kind of like, well, I did not carry a war. If you start a war and then resolve peace in the same year, then surely...

They cancelled itself out. Yeah, but also, it's still achieving peace. He's achieved peace, yeah. Yeah, that's true. Peace in our time, shots. Yeah, exactly. I mean, it's possible soon that we'll be able to actually fly through the Gulf again. Wouldn't that be fantastic?

So what I want to do, celebrate Trump's achievement, is look through the seven objectives he identified for the war in Iran. I want to explain how he has achieved 110% of them. Oh, wow, okay. If you don't know anything about maths after this. Okay, so we think the deal is kind of done. We sort of know what's in it. But I want to go back and just you'll be able to see the stunning success Charles of what's been done. And the first aim, Trump had about seven points.

This is collated from the economic times. They've just got a list of all the things he said he'd do. And with a little interpretation and the sort of generosity you don't get from the likes of the New York Times, but you will get from the Chaser Report. I think we can agree 110%. The first thing was destroy Iran's ability to fire missiles. And they're saying about 82% of the missiles were gone. Right.

What I think Trump meant by that was destroy US allies with Iran's missiles. I think that's it was mis- Right. I see. Yes. Okay. So that's gone very well. Yes. And in fact, in the past week, Iran's actually successfully attacked three Gulf states, even now, with the missiles that were all going to be destroyed.

Right. Yes. And so that's pretty much done. Done. Destroy Iran's ability to fire missiles. Tick. Very good work. Yeah.

Many of the sort of projectiles and drones were destroyed by being intercepted by very expensive American kind of cruise missiles and things. It was sort of a $10,000 drone took a $2 million missile to shoot down. Well worth the money in anyone's book, I'd say. So well done there, sir. Tick. Destroy Iran's defense industrial base. This was an amazing idea. They're saying they've knocked out most of the drone factories, launching pads, and so on.

Donald Trump said that about a week ago on NBC. It just depends whether you actually want to compare that to genuine intelligence of what's happening on the ground. But if you simply take it at face value. Yes, just to trust. It's about trust. Trust. You wouldn't say we shouldn't trust our president. No, exactly.

Yeah. And so it's also worth noting that, I mean, critics would say he's also destroyed much of the US's defense industrial. Perhaps not base, but certainly stockpile. Yes. And in fact, they're very vulnerable now. And in actual fact, so there was a couple of things taken out by Iran. There was some early warning radar system thing that was all. state of the art that they housed, I think it was in Kuwait.

And Iran took that out. It was like a $500 million piece of equipment. And you just think, oh, well, America's got money. Surely they'd just build another one. But apparently you can't just build some of these sort of really fine-tuned stuff. You can't just turn around and, like, it takes decades to build. But Charles, this is all, it's just all learning. You've got to chalk this things up to experience.

Yes. Like a war that obviously you win. but a few things happen along the way. The next war, you better prepared. It's lessons. Lessons. So we now know that we need an early warning system for the early warning system. Yes.

So if anyone's going to take out the $500 million warning system, you've got a heads up that that's going to happen. So that could work. So it's really all upside from here. And it shows you why America's been doing so well over the years because, you know, Vietnam War or, no, Korean War, which they only drew and it's still going on. was actually just lessons.

It was. Which allowed them to then be able to do so much better in the Vietnam War. That's right. It was really a warm. Which they also sort of true. But that's all right because that was just lessons. It was. For the first Iraq War, which actually they did quite well, didn't they?

They nailed it. Much better. Yes. I mean, they didn't have to do anything other than go back again 10 years later. The second Iraq War was. Yeah, a little bit of a, yeah. And the war in Afghanistan. Well, there was less.

Lessons. All lessons. And we certainly learned a lot from the war against the Taliban, which, for instance, don't start a war against the Taliban. I think that's the main lesson from that. But it's not so much about the war we had. It's about the lessons we had along the way. It is.

It's about the war that you think you had. And this is a thing you learn from Trump. It's not about whether he won or lost. It's about whether you're able to say that you won while marching through the arc to Trump, coming soon to Washington, D.C. All right. Next thing that they said that they do, Trump said that they do,

eliminate Iran's Navy and Air Force. Depends how you define that, really. Iran down to US Army helicopter near the Strait of Hormuz just this past week after it collided with an Iranian drone. But technically speaking, that wasn't the Air Force. Yes. The drones aren't the Air Force. Are they?

No. They're different. No, exactly. It's the drone force. He didn't say he was going to eliminate Iran's drone force, did he now? No. And as for the Navy, you don't need a Navy, it turns out, to blockade the Straits of Formuz. You just need, you know, drones and missiles and stuff.

But they did sink quite a lot of Iranian warships early on, or at least we think that is. Warships? What sort of warships? Oh, I mean, apparently Iran now has small crafts outfitted with machine guns that drop mines in the water. Right. So arguably Iran doesn't really need a Navy. anymore. Right.

But to be difficult. But nevertheless, you know, I'm not... Exactly. Like, let's not focus on what they can do. Let's focus on what they would have liked to have done, but we managed to destroy it. Here's the big one. Here's the big one. Obliterate Iran's nuclear program for good, you know, which is the thing they did previously.

Yes. When they had already done that. I think it was June or July last year. Yes. So that was already a win before the war even started. Yes. But then he then said that. that, so last June he said that the US had obliterated the nuclear program.

Then he said, we're just Iran's weeks away from the bomb, so we have to act now. And the big question is what will be done with the, you know, 970 pounds of enriched uranium? Or he calls it nuclear dust. Yes. Nuclear dust. Yes. What will happen with that? And that's the brilliant thing that's been done here, Charles.

And here's another lesson learned for your management as well, of the chaser. If something seems hard at all, you kick it down the road. See, this piece fire does not encompass anything. It's going to talk about it. They're going to talk about it later. Yes. What happens with the enriched uranium? It's like when you have a fight with your partner and then you realize you can't win.

Yeah. You just kick it down the road. Just don't talk about it for a bit. Yeah. And, you know, you just never discuss who didn't clean up the pantry. If you don't have a meeting about what's going to happen with the 970 pounds of enriched uranium, is it even there? Well, this is the thing.

So I heard this military strategist fairly early on talk about how actually 70 people on motorbikes could have just dispersed that. Like it was not so heavy. Because what's that? 450 kilograms of thing. Apparently you can store them in these sort of like vacuum-style canisters, just metal canisters, which fit in your backpack.

Bit like a kind of gas bottle. Yeah. And they've each got, I don't know, presumably a few kilograms each in them. And that's all you need, like eight kilograms each, and then suddenly you're away. So literally, his analysis was they're probably all over Iran. It's probably... It's probably...

It's a sense of order. Although I saw on the news last night that some people think that a lot of it's still under the ground in the rubble in Esfahan. Probably. But we're not addressing. We don't have to address that now. That's deferred. Because I heard that Iran had sort of, in principle,

agreed or something, we don't know quite yet, but, you know, oh, we won't start refining for another two years or something like that. And you're just going, well, they probably need to dig it out first. Yeah, it's probably, like, they can probably offer Trump something very tangible that just is completely meaningless. We won't do it till the end of your term. That's all he cares about. Yes, that's right.

That's fine. Kick that can down. Yeah, no, so I think that's good. The Chaser Report, now with extra whispers. Here's one that I think it's a big fat tick. Regime change. Yes. He's comprehensively changed the member of the Khomeini family that actually runs Iran.

Exactly. Father's gone. Technically, technically, Charles, the regime has changed. Yes. So, well done on that one. Do you think that if Baron Trump took over from Donald Trump, that would be considered regime change in the US? I think the Trump family is counting on that not being regime change. How about this one?

Protect America's Middle Eastern allies. Israel. Well, I think it can sort of look after itself. This is what he said. So one of the objectives is Trump in March on Truth Social, protecting it the highest level. Well, you've got to protect Israel from all those bombs that they keep throwing in their territory in Lebanon. Now, I know that that sounds very complicated, but you've got to realize that Israel is now about 10 kilometres into Lebanon.

And all these bombs keep on exploding there, admittedly, from Israel. But therefore, you know, you've got to keep Israel safe. from the bombs that they're throwing in their own territory, which happens to be in somebody else's country. So that was one objective. He did also mention, first thing on the list was Israel. And he said this is in March on true social. Saudi Arabia, Qatar, United Arab Emirates, Bahrain, Kuwait and others.

Charles, they've had the most wonderful opportunity to test their air defenses since the start of the war, haven't they? I mean, all the rockets and drones and things from Iran. It's been wonderful real world training for them. Lessons, yes. Yeah. How to run bomb shelters? Yeah.

Do the bomb shelters work? Air raid drills. Have they got water in them? Yes. Is it going to be okay? And they've... How to deal with your skyscraper burning because of a drone attack? Your airport shutting down.

Yes. The whole of aviation shutting down in your region. Your gas field in Qatar, the biggest gas field in the world being on fire. A lesson. It's been a simulation. You know how they do those war games to prepare for conflict? You could argue this is just another one of those. So tick.

Big tick. It's definitely a win. Now they don't know where the vulnerabilities are. Reopen the straight of Hormuz. I mean... Well, it's just good as done, isn't it? Yeah. Wait a minute.

That was at the start of the conflict. Well, no. That wasn't... That was a little later on me... So that's where the 110% comes from. Because that's something that he never expected to have to do at the beginning. It's a bonus, isn't it? It's a bonus objective.

Yes. Degrading Iranian proxy groups. So we're talking. about Hezbollah, Hamas and so on. Yeah. I mean, again, I think if we're going to be entirely fair, that hasn't been that's been Israel. Yeah.

It's been getting stuck into that one. And look, I think that there's a lot of, what has surprised me is how many Lebanese children and infants and babies are clearly Hezbollah agents, the way that Israel's been just blanket bombing whole towns in southern Lebanon. Yeah. It's just been incredible watching the sort of level of sophistication. and targeting that's gone into rooting out all those under five-year-olds

who are just militant Hezbollah. So good on Israel. Well, the other thing that's happened is that, in fact, Trump called did you see Netanyahu a very difficult guy? Yes. Which is, you know, so perhaps a rift in the US-Israel alliance to some degree there

because do you think that there's just an element of, that actually Israel needs to be contained? Like maybe one of the things that needs to be contained. Like maybe one of the things that needs to happen is somebody needs to sort of, you know, tap Netanyahu on the shoulder and go, maybe just stick inside your own borders. This is the thing that's really interesting about the war, I suppose, is that at the start it was like, oh, the US and Israel are absolutely in lockstep on this. Yes. And they're clearly not anymore. No, no.

So in a sense a wedge has been driven between them. Yes, you're right. Yes. By Netanyahu, not just doing his own thing. Yes. And having his own agenda. In fact, he went in before the US did. So in a sense, he's been pushing.

It's sort of like a lover's tiff, though. You know how Trump got all angry at Netanyahu? Do you think that that's like something that, or is that sort of like, oh, you, stop it? Difficult guy. You're just bombing things. Look, well, I don't know. We'll see how they go. Because don't they always get bad?

Does Netanyahu come to Maralago for Christmas? It's like when Harry met Sally, you know, you just know that they're going to end up in the Actually, it's more like when Harry met Megan. So, look, I think having reviewed the list of objectives, is America in a worse spot now than it was before the war began? I mean, it depends if you like having missile stockpiles. Really? Well, going into this war, did America have a trillionaire? No.

Do they now? Yes. Actually, that's all we need to say. Yes. Before going into this war, was anyone believed? or even calling for the Strait of Hormuz to be open. No. No.

You wouldn't read about it. No. Before the start of this war, Charles, was there a very, very large outcry, including from many MAGA base members and supporters, for the Epstein files to be examined more fully? And was that on the front page of every newspaper and every news report in America at the start of the war? Was that front of mind back then?

That was front of mind. And now, look at it. Gonski. Look. The bottom line, Charles. Mission accomplished. If Iran was actually, had actually won the war, as some have said, I mean, if they came out of this better than they were before,

if the deal that was done was actually worse than Obama's deal, which Trump's been criticising for many, many years and saying he'd get a better deal, if any of these things were genuinely worried, Donald Trump would be having trouble sleeping, wouldn't he? Including at the Knicks basketball game. Yeah, he's not. He's having no trouble. No trouble sleeping.

Very, very well indeed. Well done, sir. congratulations on the victory, Nobel Peace Prize, as incoming as an Iranian missile in a Qatari skyscraper. Mission accomplished-ish. Mission accomplished-ish. That's a great... There's your chase of...

Yeah, there's the chasing cover. There you go. We're going to have a whole episode about that tomorrow. It's going to be... Not good listening. I look out for that one. We're part of the Iconicless Network. Catch you tomorrow.