The Chaser Report - Happy(?) Liberation Day!

Episode Date: April 1, 2025

Trump's tariffs officially take effect today, so Charles and Dom wish our American listeners a happy Liberation Day. Dom also shares why he is not allowed to travel to the United States. Plus, Charles gets nostalgic for the Microbee.Watch OPTICS on ABC iview here:https://iview.abc.net.au/show/opticsCheck out more Chaser headlines here:https://www.instagram.com/chaserwar/?hl=enGive us money:https://chaser.com.au/support/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Chaser Report is recorded on Gadigal Land. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chaser Report. Hello and welcome to The Chaser Report with Dom and Charles. Lachlan, can we roll a little bit of How to the Chief here? Because today is a very important day. It hasn't happened yet, American time, but on the calendar, the 2nd of April, Charles, the day after April Fool's Day, and it's important to clarify. What day is it, Charles?

I am positive that they took that into account. But it is Liberation Day. Liberation Day. Oh, yeah. To be clear, not for us. We're the victims of Liberation Day. But for America, it's the big L day, as it's being called by nobody. To all our American listeners, welcome to Liberty.

I know that you've lived under such a tyrannical regime for the last 250 years. But it's great that you've been freed from the shackles of cheap car imports and cheap steel. And you just that you've been freed. It's cheap everything, real. Cheap Canadian goods. Yeah. Cheap Mexican goods. And you are now free to pay more for a whole lot of things.

Who came up with the name Liberation Day to be about tax? Being liberation from savings. By paying higher tax rates on things. Like, it's so brilliant. It's such a, like, why can't Apple editions be that sneaky? Why can't they, why didn't they call the GST the savings tax? Yes, it should have been. Yes. Goods and Services Liberation, GSM.

Yeah, that's right. So they quote Donald Trump on what this is. In fact, I'll get into that after the ads. Thank you for your patience. Your call is important. Can't take being on hold anymore? FIS is 100% online so you can make the switch in minutes. Mobile plans start at $15 a month.

Certain conditions apply. Details at FIS.C. Do we get 25% more for those ads, Charles? Well, let's just make that happen. Let's just charge a terror. Unilaterally declare. Yeah. So basically the idea here is, and this is the subject of it, is fascinating.

Trump said we're going to charge countries for doing business in our country and taking our jobs, taking our wealth, taking a lot of things that they've been taking over the years. They've taken so much out of our country, friend and foe. And frankly, friend has been oftentimes much worse than foe. And that's what we can now call the Trump doctrine, I think, is that allies are the worst. Yes. And that America at every turn is the victim. Has been ripped off by the European Union.

Which Trump has said was created to screw America. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. So, you know. Russia. Russia. Seems like a foe, actually a friend. And so the thing is, if we follow this logic, Dom, I don't know whether you remember,

but Australia, only a few years ago, signed a free trade agreement with the US. Right. And one of the things that happened during that free trade agreement was, because Australia was a nation of 30 million people or 25 million people. and America was a nation of 300 million people. So Australia had to give quite a lot in those negotiations in order to get a free trade agreement. Totally.

So we gave away a whole lot of protections around intellectual property rights. Do you remember, like essentially we sort of allowed our laws to be overwritten by what it called the Disney laws. Oh, yes. Which sort of extend copyright for US IP holders and things like that. And, you know, there's whole sectors of the Australian economy that were profoundly bad. badly affected by this free trade agreement. Yes, but Charles, on the upside, we managed to protect the Australian car industry,

didn't we? That's in great shape now. Thank goodness we picked that one. But I think that we signed that after the free trade agreement. We might well have. Anyway, but the point is, and I think this should apply to every country in the world, now that there is no longer free trade from the US side, surely we should go back and look at all the stuff we gave away during that negotiation and take it back.

And, you know, because America's sort of got this idea that they're the victim in all of this. They are. Trump said that they are. Right. Very convincingly. And so it's like, oh, so they haven't got anything out of running the world. Like, they're just this, they're this incredibly victimized. You don't understand they've been treated like a charity.

Yeah. So I think the rest of the world needs to just go, okay, well, you know, since, you know, since it's all, you know, we're all just looking after ourselves now. Yeah. It's actually just take back all the things that disembark. bully who came along and just basically invaded our economy. What are the chances do you think, Charles, of any government of Australia in the next three years, standing up to the tariffs at all ever? Well, the only thing I'd say is Albo's started talking about, he keeps on saying during

the election, this is not America. We are not America. Oh, well, he does also. And we want an Australian way. And I presume Australian ways to roll over and just take it up the arse. He does say by Australian. He started the campaign very brave, very audaciously. now Peter Dutton's electorate.

He did. His very first stop was in Peter Dutton's elector. Oh, that's great. And he was going to, like, I think, various businesses, and saying, you buy Australian. And so in the very few industries where you can actually buy a Australian. So we haven't talked about what Trump's going to do yet. What does a buy Australian campaign look like now? It's like those tin tomatoes that cost double.

Yeah. Yep. By then. Wine. Buy Australian wine, which we do anyway. Not gas. Because we sell them a lot of seeds. Don't mention good gas.

No, buy Australian, not good. Buy Australian politicians. If you're going to pay off a politician, make it an Australian politician. Does McDonald's count as Australian because we have Australian beef in the... Oh, see, how do you do something like that? And what would an Australian mobile phone look like? Oh, God, can you imagine? Do we make any chips in Australia?

Yes, the one piece of high-tech equipment, the one company making high-tech equipment in Australia. We talked about this before. is Road, the people whose gear we used to record. But for some reason, there's just this one company. And I was on a freeway the other day, and I'm not making this up. I was next to this Bentley or something's very expensive looking car that had the number plate's, Road, Rode. I'm assuming it's the guy that Peter Freeman who started Road, the most fancy looking

car. And so somehow, I mean, he's buying imported cars. Right. But yeah, they make microphones, they make, like, gadgets, all that stuff. Why doesn't Road make a mobile phone if they can make this podcasting gear? I think this is what we've got to do. We've got to be Fortress Australia and go back. Have Trump's vision of just like make it here or get stuck.

Don't worry if it's crap. Do you remember when there were Australian computers? There was the microbead. Oh, Microbial. Bring back the microbe mobile phone. And the only place you ever used a microbeed was at school. Against you will. Because they had obviously done a sort of purchase plan with the government.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've got to buy a million microbeats. You know the one person I just. I'd give them to the kids. I think Chaz had a Microbie growing up. And I remember there was this whole thing where they made the bits of it look like books. Really? Yeah, yeah.

It was like you put the books on the shelf. It was genius idea. It's amazing it didn't take off in the industry. Anyway, Charles, we haven't actually talked about Trump's plans. Good times. Yeah, yeah. I never used it. I don't think it actually booted.

But just to explain what Trump's doing. Let us know if you remember Microwbee. Yeah, do actually. Podcast at Chaser.com. Your finest memory of Microbee. There was AWAT TVs and stuff too. There were something. We had an AWAT, but they used to make them up the road.

Yeah, yeah, they made them in. They made all this stuff and fridges and all that kind of stuff. We didn't import all that stuff. No, no, we still make fridges. Do we? Yes, in fact, the Whirlpool factory out at Bathurst just got a massive reinvest. So, like, we have some of the best compressors in the world. So we make things that are just too heavy to bother importing unless they're cars.

Yeah, always buy an Australian fridge if you can because actually they're really efficient. Well, are you telling me that they're actually. competing on the basis of quality rather than just having tariff? I know. What the hell? So, look, just to explain what Trump's doing, so he's basically putting massive tariffs on almost everything. We've had the 25% car tariffs already. And he's basically putting on all manner of things, drugs, copper, lumber. I disagree with drugs. I don't think... Pharmaceutical drugs. Oh, pharmaceutical drugs. Oh, yeah, no. Imagine if there's a cocaine tariff. Probably raise much more money. I think they would deeply affect the White House. China's getting an extra 20%

tariff because they produce fentanyl. And there's a particular tariff. If you import oil from Venezuela, you have a 25% tariff. Any country that gets Venezuelan oil, even though the US imports oil from Venezuela. That's one of the great little things in it. But he's also saying, look, it's fine. We'll just drop them if we need to. But basically what the experts are saying, this will lead to higher prices for cars, groceries, housing and other goods. Just about everything. Right. It's getting more expensive in the US. But liberation costs money. Yes, exactly, like, but at least they'll be free, not free in terms of, like, you know, being able to get things. Free from discounts.

Yes, free from, but also free from foreigners. It's all, well, that's part of the whole point. I mean, it's also worth noting. And I did, I'm actually not going to be able to get into the US, I don't think, at any point. Oh, how come? In the near future. Is that because of your brown like complexion? I'm very pasting white.

No, it's because if you put my name, no, but if you. If you put my name into a web browser. Oh, are you a comedy terrorist? Yeah, it's actually a genuine. I'm quite worried about it. What are you? So there's two problems. Oh, you wrote a book called a diversion.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Trumpedia. Trumpedia. And I went back and looked at all of Donald Trump's terrible businesses before politics. But the first point to say is that every single thing he sold was made in China. Like, the Trump ties? I think his stakes were made in America, but almost everything was a crappy cheap import. And also his champagne was from Virginia.

That's right. Let's take it back and I'll explain why I'm not going to get into the U.S. Thank you for your patience. Your call is important. Can't take being on hold anymore? FIS is 100% online, so you can make the switch in minutes. Mobile plans start at $15 a month.

Certain conditions apply. Details at FIS.ca. The Chaser Report. News a few days after it happens. It is pretty chilling because now basically they've started seizing phones. They've got the right to look at your phone when you get in. Yeah. And if there's anti-Trump content on your phone, this happened to, I think, a French national

recently. Yes, yes. They don't let you in. Yes. And so in my case, because I got arrested filming stuff for the chaser once, it's a long story. It's a funny story about it. Let's not tell that story now. I think there's a podcast earlier where we did.

I have to go and get a visa from the consulate every time. Yeah. And so they will check my details. Yes. And they all discover that I wrote a bookmaking fun of Donald Trump's crap businesses, such as the fact that his casino, which had literal white elephants out the front, cost so much money that it sent his other casinos in Atlantic City broke, a literal white elephant. Quite amazing. The Trump Taj Mahal, is what I'm talking about. So can I just

suggest to you, Dom? Yeah. And I don't want to cast aspersions on Americans because I want to be able to get into America. But I imagine that the Trump appointees who will be running this immigration policy are probably not the most bookish people in the world. And if you, say, of them on your CV with your visa applications. Oh, and by the way, I wrote this book about how clever Trump is called Trumpedia and all the clever words. Oh, they won't bother to. They won't read it. It's a book.

You don't have an audio version of the book out there, do you? That might be a problem. So all I need to, and all I need to do is just change what the top Google result is. Yes, just do some SEO. So it's like, Dom night and Trump. Oh, and actually, this is how you make your first million, Dom. You rebrand Trumpedia as the first pro-Trump dictionary, like make it the official sort of thing. What a good idea.

And then resell it in the US, like do a whole new re-release in the US. I wish it had made more money because, I mean, it certainly didn't earn enough money to prevent me if to go from going to the US ever. That's a good idea. So do I have to change any of the texts? I'll just get AI to do it. I'll just get AI to go write a Trump-friendly dictionary. Just put not. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, no, I think you're overthinking this, Dom. I don't think that they're going to read it. I think they're going to buy it. I'm actually going to apply for a visa just to find out. Yeah, and I think what you do is you just bank on the fact that no one who buys the book's going to read it. I do that with your books. No, I think that's the market's position.

I buy them and don't read them and, you know. This is so easy. I just put it into chat GPT, America First, Art of a D. Deal, Big League, growing the swamp, fake music. Name me a definition. Just give me a definition randomly. Okay, Big League.

A favorite Trumpism used to describe doing things in a major powerful way. Also heard as Bigley, which caught on regardless. That's sassy. It's being sassy. Oh, dear. This is going to work. No, this is so, no, I think that we need to put a 25% tariff on that. Oh, so, yeah, to make this 25% more biased.

I'll see what that comes up with. Yeah, that's good. I actually am going to need to do this because I can't get in. They've got a 25% more. Okay, that's fantastic. It really made it more bias. Okay, go on. So America first, the bold doctrine that finally puts American workers' families and values ahead of globalist interests.

Trump didn't just say it. He meant it. Charles, can we actually do this? Okay. Can we get the chaser to publish the pro-Trump dictionary? Yeah. Generated entirely by chat GPT. Yes.

And we would actually sell it. Sell it to him on the cover. To the megas. And I reckon it'd sell millions. Yes. Let's definitely actually do that. So, Dom. Drain the swamp.

This is my favorite. Trump's mission to expose and dismantle the corrupt elitist ruling class that had sold out the American people for decades. I love it. What did Donald Trump come from? Which class did he come from again? Oh, he's just a worker. Hey, can you get it to define Liberation Day?

Yes, I can. And then that can be the out. That'll be an elegant end to this episode that's descended into us reading out AI again. This is actually genuinely very satirical. I love this. It's great. Well, the great thing about the pro-Trump dictionary, it works both ways. You hate Donald Trump.

Yeah. It's satire. Yeah. If you like Donald Trump, it's just real. We should definitely do that. I think in these times, you know, when the creep of authoritarianism and tyranny, you know, is really at our doorstep. To take a both sides approach. It's really to just cash in.

That's the noble thing to do. Okay. Here we go. Liberation Day. It initially just was talking about Donald Trump's election is Liberation Day. And then I said, no, no, it refers to tariffs. And it said, oh, got it. You're talking about Liberation Day as a moment.

Trump imposed tariffs. Here's a definition in that same pro-Trump tone. The historic moment, President, actually, can you read it in your Basie voice? I think you'll do. The historic moment, President Donald J. Trump imposed bold, unapologetic tariffs on foreign goods, marking America's economic declaration of independence. Oh my God. No longer would the US be a doormat for cheap imports, unfair trade deals and global exploitation. This was the day the sellout era ended. and American industry workers and sovereignty were liberated, in italics, from the grip of globalist profiteers. For patriots, it was the first real shot fired in the war

to restore American manufacturing and pride. Okay, we're going to definitely release this book, Charles. Just one slight change. I presume we've got to use Elon Musk's AI. And then you won't have to tell it to be biased. Yeah, that's right, yeah. It'll be just a little bit less Nazi, though. Tone down the Nazi 25%.

We are part of the Icona class network. Catch you tomorrow if there is one. And happy Liberation Day. Yeah, the day after Liberation Day is we realize the prices will increase time. Thank you for your patience. Your call is important. Can't take being on hold anymore. Fizz is 100% online so you can make the switch in minutes.

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