The Chaser Report - How To Start A Podcast Shittier Than This One

Episode Date: November 23, 2023

Dom Knight, who is officially studying podcasting, presents a list of genuine reasons why YOU, OUR DEAR LISTENER should start your own podcast. However, as Charles points out, that podcast might not be very good. (Please for the love of fuck don't start one we don't need the competition.) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Chaser Report is recorded on Gatigal Land. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chaser Report. Hello and welcome to The Chaser Report with Dom and Charles. Charles, I've got an amazing idea for us now. Oh, yes. As I mentioned at the end of the last debacle of the podcast, we were shutting down the Chaser Report. Chaser report's done. Oh, yes, definitely.

What we should do according to this. Hang on, why are we here? Well, because we're starting a new podcast. This is a new podcast. Oh, this is a new podcast. Yeah, new podcast. Because I found this article from improvedpodcast.com to anyone reasons, Charles, why you should start a podcast in 2023.

So if you're listening and you're wondering to yourself, should you start a podcast, we're here to talk you through these reasons from improvedpodcast.com. Is the first one I can do better than Dom and Charles? It may well be. Well, we can encourage you that the bar is low. But also, there are some good reasons you haven't thought of, Charles, why we should probably reboot a whole thing. We'll get into them after this.

Now, reason one, you're passionate about a topic or have something to say. Charles, you're passionate about a very strange number of topics. I mean, the sheer number of episodes, at least double figures that have been devoted to inflatable avocado pool toys. Yes. Open AI. Yes. The Chinese property market. I mean, these are all things that most people wouldn't bother to have one episode on, and yet you've managed many.

There is a running theme through all of them, which is they are, in some ways, all get rich quick schemes. That failed, yes. And they're all designed to sort of try and minimize work in some way. Lazy, lazy and ultimately failed business schemes. It's as though we should forget any other kind of podcast content other than this. We should do a sort of like investor, because you know investor podcasts get really good advertising. They do. We should actually do an investor podcast.

They get, unlike our advertisers, they get like high quality advertisers prepared to pay premium. Charles, we had like the Saudi oil people or whatever. and then we turn them down. They're all standard. We had Australian oil people when we turn them down. What we should do is actually start a podcast about the benefits of fossil fuels and how they've really misrepresented and how clean coal is definitely a thing. Because the truth is that if we were prepared to run gambling ads,

we would be a lot richer. Why don't we have a spin-off? Remember that off. Oh, we just do one where we go. And we just don't use our names so we don't look like we're hypocrites. and totally evil. Just use completely different names. I was once...

I'm going to choose the name Dom Knight. Oh. I'll be Charles further. My mobile phone number is... You know that we were once offered... I don't know if you remember this, but we were once offered in all expenses paid trip to the World Cup, to the Football World Cup,

in order to do a Football World Cup podcast, sponsored by gambling. I so would have wanted to do that. I was desperate to do it. That would have been fantastic. And then after one second, I realized it was completely untenable in terms of reputation.

Yeah. And what I didn't realize was that my reputation would be worthless. So I totally should have done it. It was a terrible decision. So who ended up doing that? I don't know if anything happened. But I remember, yeah, I do remember that, yeah, it's such an opportunity. One of the many reasons why the commercial radio world decided that we were not.

But I remember. Our agent coming back and, you know, saying, oh, I've just sewn up this amazing deal. It was a massive deal. But it was with a gambling company. And we would have, it would have essentially been a gambling podcast. Yeah. So I think if you're going to set up a podcast, definitely do that. Like it a gambling podcast.

People will pay you, I bet you, people will pay you if you're into gambling. Reason two, podcasting is an easy platform to create content. Well, I think we've proven that over the years. You just turn on the microphones and ramble, isn't it? And that leads me to point three as well. You can create long form content, which is, you know, something that we... All the hours. How many fucking hours of this thing is there?

There must be several hundred hours of podcast. Why is that an advantage? Nowadays, is you supposed to watch TikTok and YouTube? Like, the entire world is going non-long form. Yeah, short form. That's where it's at. We're the counterculture to that. Yeah, right.

But I mean, I just saw it the other day. I don't know if you saw this. The Rock recorded a three-hour podcast with Joe Rogan. And that's the world's most popular podcast. We should totally do that. Do you think that the popularity of the podcast is because of the Rock? Or because it's three-house long? I'm not sure which it is.

Who's got time to listen? Like, that's as long as one of his movies. No, it's because it's called companion media. Podcasts are companion media. Let me explain the philosophy behind podcasts, which is it's companion media. And it means that if you listen to a podcast, you might listen to it in your car. And in America, the average commute is well over three hours. Oh, there you go.

So you get in the car, you start listening, and you're almost, you know. Three hours isn't going to cut it. Yeah, it's a whole day. Like, actually, you've got to have a couple of episodes. That's why Joe Rogan has three hours a day. because that's what you need for commuting. That's very interesting. Okay, point four, podcasting can help you build a personal brand.

I think you've done that, Charles. I think listeners feel like they know you. They know me. As their friend on the podcast, they can call a text anytime who's shit in business. If I was to release any product, you know how the test, I don't know whether you've seen that viral video about marketing, but it's this guy who says, if Nike were to release a hotel, you'd know exactly what that hotel would be, right? No.

No idea. But you'd get a sense of what it is. It would be made in China by children. No, you'd be able to guess that it was all like trendy and sporty. It would use, it would use, you know, neon yellow colors. And yeah. Okay. But if, I think the, it's called a swush.

What's the one? What's the brand? Well, this sort of show. There's a brand, it's not Hilton. What's the other one that is in that sort of starts with an H? Or ridges or something. What's the name of the brand? It's Hyatt.

The company has completely failed to make any impression on Charles at all. No, but they said, if Hyatt released a shoe, you have no idea what that shoe would be like. It would be uncomfortable and overpriced. It's not like it's not like Hyatt's are different to Hilton's, a different to, I don't know, any other holiday in. They're all just hotels, right? Whereas Nike is a brand, right? It's a lifestyle. That's what I've done with myself, right?

Yes. You know, if I were to release a hotel, you would know what I would be functional. Don't stay at the Charleston Hotel. Although I must say, there are some... Oh, some shoes? You know the hotel that would remind me of. Yeah.

Bansi released a hotel. He put together a hotel that's literally built up against the wall in Palestine. Oh, wow. It's a deliberately unpleasant hotel. It's one of his most billion ideas ever. Yes. your hotel would be as unpleasant as that hotel. It wouldn't even need to be located in pastime. And it wouldn't be a intentional political statement.

It wouldn't just be that. I don't know if it still exists, actually. We should check that out, whether it's been destroyed. Okay. Point five, podcasting can become a second income. Okay. What do you mean? This is my first income, Dawn.

Point six, you can develop multiple different skill sets. That's true. That's true. I learned how to edit and upload and do everything to do with starting this podcast. and then think, fuck, we hired Loughlin to do it, so I didn't have to do anymore. But I do technically know how to do it. No, I think what that's referring to is you can learn other skillsets, like stuff that actually makes you money.

Oh, so you're forced to then go and learn how to become a doctor or a nurse and teachers. Seven, there are minimal start-up costs. Well, that's true. It's not very expensive to start a podcast. Unless you value your time in any way at all. None of these seem to be good reasons. These are all just sort of practical things that are true about podcasting. It's why reasons why you should start one.

No, no, but there's no sort of like you have a passion that you need, you want to, mind you that doesn't apply to us. That's why I love this list. It's not at all about the content. It's just literally about marketing and sales. Well, I mean, content is overrated nowadays. I think listeners to this podcast will agree. Number eight, podcasting can be more fulfilling than video.

That doesn't explain why. It just says that it can be. Yeah, I don't really know why it is. Well, it's the theatre of the mind, Dom. Student production theatre at the mind. I mean, there's a chance that, you know, many listeners wouldn't know what we look like, right? So, you know, they might be imagining to debonair, early 40s, cut, you know. Early 40s?

No, there's a theatre of their mind. Yeah, that's what we look like. The Chaser Report, news you can't trust. Point nine, you want to use your phone. free time productively. That's not true. No, I'm not going to do this. Okay. That's a reason to not do a podcast.

Then we move on to the marketing reasons for starting a podcast. Now, this is the one that we'll like. You can repurpose your content is point 10. And that's true. You can. You never do. It doesn't work. The Chase of website occasionally intersects to this podcast, but not as much as

it probably should. Yeah. We get John Delmenico on occasionally. I mean, I suppose if SMS is an intersection, our content. People do text you. Yeah, people text me all the time. Oh, we reuse the reviews. We re-papes the reviews of the podcast occasionally.

You can target your audience directly. That's true. Yeah. But again, none of these are actual reasons. These are just things that you can do with the podcast. I didn't say it was a good list. Number 12. Is this your list?

Do you write? This sounds like a Chet GPT generated. This is terrible. I think it is actually. Number 12. This is from improvedpodcast.com, Charles. There's less competition compared to other media forms. Well, that's not true.

The number of podcasts which have two middle-aged guys banging on. Yeah. I mean, admittedly, we have more listeners than many of them. What are they called? Hamish and Andy. No, what are the genre? This is called a chum-cast. Oh, yes, this is a chum-cast.

Yeah, no, I am actually genuinely studying in podcasting academically. And this is technically, it's both a news podcast and a... Chum-cast. Chum-cast. Which is sort of friends talking. Yeah. And, you know, those... Well, people who appear to know each other.

People who know each other well enough to make fun of each other's personal foibles, I think, is the line. Oh, really good. And so, yes. And so, hang on. Why didn't you bring in, like, an interesting academic paper rather than... Because I love this list. This is terrible. 13, the platform is still growing.

Yes. Well, actually, that's the reason I'm doing it is because it doesn't matter how bad you are. Yeah, at least you're early. In a growing market, you know, there'll always be new suckers. First move or advantage. It's sort of like a Ponzi scheme. The early stages of a pyramid scheme. A podcasting Ponzi scheme.

I like it. 14, become an industry influencer and thought leader. Well, you'd like that, Charles. That's very you. We already are. We're heading to the Australian Podcast Awards. Yeah. Tonight.

We are. Or, you know, if this is afterwards, we were just at the Australian podcast awards. Let's not mention whether we won or not in our category of best comedy that you can look it up online. But, you know, I mean, that was about network. That was about being an industry leader, wasn't it? Thought leading, I'm going to start every conversation at the podcast awards by saying, well, as a thought leader. Yes. Look, I've got kids, and especially when they're a bit younger, I feel like I was a thought leader towards them.

Yeah, just because they had no thoughts. That's right. It was like, it is now dinner time. And they'd go, oh, okay, it's dinner time. Well, there you go. I'll run you through the rest because we're almost out of time. We've got to get to the awards. Expand your search potential.

Nah. What does that even mean? Redirect traffic to your landing pages. Chaser.com. That are you chaser shop.com. Waron, 223.com. Go and see his, whatever this thing is. There is potential to monetize, Charles.

Where? Where? You can pay four bucks a month. I tried that with the avocado. Don't do that. Now, finally, miscellaneous reasons to start a podcast. This is great. Well, this is, it's going.

There's 21 of these. You can read out lists on the podcast. Can enable you to interview people you may look up to? Have we ever done that? Well, Grace Taine. Saul Griffith. Yeah. We made more effort in the first year of the podcast, didn't we?

We should probably get some of them back. You enjoy connecting with others? Well, I don't. Max Chandler, Mather. He's quite good. You enjoy helping others. I think this podcast is in no way helped anybody. No.

If this podcast has helped you, email a podcast at chaser.com. And explain how, because frankly, I don't believe it. And this is my favorite one for you, Charles. I am. 21, you're accessible 24-7. But that's not because of the podcast. That's because you gave your phone number out repeatedly. But wait a minute, it sounds like horrific.

That's not a reason. It's a nightmare. Yeah. Oh, it means that people can listen to you 24-Serve. Yes, people can listen on demand. And that is one of the things I am genuinely studying about podcasting. It's like being a screaming baby. Yes.

Yes. At any point in time. And it is true. Like, I've started listening to this wonderful podcast called Swindled, which is victims of Avakato Toy Fraud. I just want to just check out in and occasionally. just to make sure I haven't been mentioned. No, but it is true.

Like, as soon as I started listening to Swindled, I then started listening to all the backstories because it's available 24-7. Like, I've binged it. Well, that's the reason why it's so good. Do you think that happens to our podcast? Do you people go back to the heyday and listen to the Max Chandler Mather?

I doubt it. That's, I mean, Charles, look, we've taken a strategic goal with this podcast. There's several ways you can do it. One of them is high quality and relistenable and, you know, those sort of serial type things. I listened to cereal for the first time this year. I'd never listen to it before.

Oh, it's fantastic. It's still just as good as it ever was, right? And that's going to be good forever to listen back to it. The other thing you can do is just massive abundance without much quality control like this. It's, which takes more time, probably the serial version. I thought we were doing the quality thing. No. No.

The reason it's available 24-7 is because literally there's so much of it. She could display at 34-7 and never run out. Let me just tell you how many episodes we've done of this thing before. we sign off Charles and head to the podcast awards where look um we may as a reveal now we've just we've had to do a, we've got a busy week. We've had to do a few episodes before heading off to the awards. Um, there are, I think 700 odd episodes of this thing now. Right. So divided by seven million is actually not that many. We've only got about three listeners. Yeah, they're very dedicated. Yeah, that's true. Thanks for being one of them. Our Gehry is from

Roebter, a part of the iconoclast network. And if you want to start a podcast, uh, tell us about it, email, podcast, chastair.com.com.com. Yeah, and we'll get you on. We might plug it. We'll just cross promote. We'll just cross promote. Or we'll play a clip from it and make fun of you. One of the two things. Oh, yeah.