The Chaser Report - I Can't Believe It's Not A Cigarette Butt | John Safran | Mark Pesce

Episode Date: September 9, 2021

Comedy legend John Safran comes on the podcast to talk about the story behind his new book 'Puff Piece'. Plus Dom is joined by the insightful Mark Pesce for a chat about what the near and far future of Australia will look like living with Covid. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode of The Chaser Report is brought to you by child workers in the Congo. Without their delicate little hands mining all the world's cobalt, we wouldn't have any of the cheap electronics we'd need to record and distribute this podcast. Thanks, kids. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chaser Report. Hello and welcome to The Chaser Report on Friday, the 10th of September 2021. No Gabby today, Charles Firth. Unfortunately, her NBN is out.

which is just a wonderful thing during a pandemic. I'm just surprised that her NBN has been on for this long. Like, this is the first time her NBN's been out, you know, in eight weeks. You're just going, well, hang on. She was due. It's way more reliable than a normal NBN connection. Now, Charles, yesterday in New South Wales, the Premier outlined the future of the state when things hit 70% and things start to reopen.

But we got a much better glimpse of the future from Singapore, which is far further down this road of living with COVID on an ongoing basis. So I just want to share with you the way things might work if we go down that path. So at a shopping centre called Toa Paio, they have a robot which monitors social compliance.

It's called Xavier. And what it does is it kind of looks like an air humidifier on wheels. Like it's a big white box. It rolls around. And it's got one of those little scrolling signs. like on the top of a cop car and it says groups of no more than five people and all this sort of stuff. But it's actually a bit chilling. It's got cameras and because they've got a database of

faces and so on in Singapore, it can actually figure out who's not wearing their mask, who's smoking in a band area. Even if you park your bike in the wrong place, it's going to pick you up. There's two of them and they're going around doing this 360 degree cameras and sensors. And then there's people in the sort of control office looking at the cameras. So it's basically a New South Wales cop. Yes, on wheels. But far more intelligent. That's right.

And better looking. With AI. Yeah. And presumably less brutal discretion. So it's also, it's not just that. It's looking out for illegal street vending, hawking. Oh, look, I think this is a wonderful, this, like, I know that you're going down the path of dystopian.

Chilling dystopian future is what I'm thinking of. Yeah, but come on. Like, I think, like, yeah, sure we're going to have these robot overlords. But, but, but, actually I can't think of a single positive thing about this. I mean, if this is the only way we get to go out, I suppose, great, let's have a drink with Xavier at the pub and you can make sure we're not, actually, if you poured beer all over it, it probably would be. break? Where does, because they'll have to be, if it's going to come to New South Wales, there have to be a sort of place where you can put the bribes. Like, where does the bribe here? It'll probably be combined with an ATM.

It'll be an ATM on wheels and all deposit ATM. The deposit, yeah. You cook it up directly to your pokey when you win. And then does it investigate federal cases of federal government corruption or does it just immediately close down the investigation shortly after opening it? No, Charles, let's be clear, it's not for white-collar criminals. This is just for minor social compliance issues. Oh, okay.

Right, yes, yes, okay. So it's not going to actually investigate any major corruption scandal. No, no, it's not going to do anything big picture. Like, for instance, if a company doesn't pay back millions of dollars in JobKeeper, let's say you Louis Vuitton, $6 million goes to you and you make a profit of $6.6 million. It's not going to check that out. No, there's no robot for that. That just goes unprosecuted.

But if, say, you're overpaid $20 by Centrelink, it'll tase you. The robot's going to knock on your door with guns, I can only imagine. I love it. So there you go, Singapore, a bit of a vision of the future. And I know the listeners can't see it, but it's got this sort of little pointy head. It actually looks strangely like Peter Dutton. Actually, that would be a great design for the Australian robot, Just a dut bot

I love it. The other thing that they've done is that they've actually sent out 3,000 social distancing ambassadors and I've got a picture of one here. It's just a guy in a mask with gloves on holding up a card that just says,

please refrain from talking. Is that the worst job in the entire world? It's like being a library monitor who can't even speak yourself. But also, don't you think there's a risk that sending out 3,000 people into the community is its own super spreader thing? Like, surely, if you're wanting people to social distance,

the one thing you shouldn't do is get 3,000 people to go out into public. That's true. Anyway, there you go. I'm moving to Singapore, Charles. It sounds wonderful. The thing is, at least they can go out. At least they can go out. Yes.

Great. Into the dystopian authoritarian state. Great. There really are no good options. At all. Actually, we're talking to Mark Pesci about that today, about what the numbers look like. He was right with his dystopian prediction of New South Wales's numbers, and now he's got a bit of a preview of what the science says about the next phase of all this.

We've got a little bit of a long chat with John Safran on today's show, all about his battle against tobacco companies such as Philip Morris, and also their dastardly plans for the future of smoking. It's a great chat. It was more than 50 minutes long. We've got a quick clip of it today, and then look for the full episode tomorrow in your feed. It's a perfect weekend, listen, Charles.

Oh, that's good. I might listen to it. But first of all, let's go to Rebecca Dan Muno in the Chaser Newsroom. The Taliban has finally formed a provisional government after overcoming the humiliation of their fighters who were videoed clumsily misusing the gym equipment in the presidential palace. Their first act was to ban women from playing sports, citing fears that the Afghani women's weightlifting team would thrash them if they were allowed to compete.

A spokesperson for the Minerals Council of Australia has slammed what she called an alarmist and impractical global climate policy. The mining organisation, which oversees the computer modelling for deposit detection, clearing of vegetation, removing and storing of unconsolidated topsoil, drilling and detonating of hard strata above the mineral scene before fragmenting it and the logistics of haulage conveyance and transport has said that leaving coal in the ground is too common. complicated. Greg Abbott, the governor of Texas, has defended his state's recent ban on

abortions. The governor claimed that the restrictions weren't a big deal, saying that Texas has always provided alternative forms of family planning, mainly in the form of school shootings. That's the latest Chaser News you can't trust. I'm Rebecca Dayunamuno. This episode is brought to you by the one adult supervisor that keeps all the cobalt mining children in line. If you thought being locked down with your unruly kids was hard, imagine being stuck in a third world mine shaft with hundreds of them and trying to force them to mine cobalt.

No, thank you. During the course of the outbreak in New South Wales, a lot of people have made big calls about what was going to happen and look at the numbers. A lot of them, health experts, a lot of them idiots on Twitter. But someone who really got the numbers right was futurist and all-round science guru Mark Pesci. He's not an epidemiologist, as we say, every time we have them on.

But his dire predictions about the numbers, which we got on because we were kind of like, really? And they were fascinating, have turned out to be pretty much spot on. So, Mark, welcome back, prognosticator of prognosticators. Thank you, Tom. And I do want to point out that I am not a health professional, but I could be an idiot on Twitter if I want to do. No, never. So you predicted that things would turn out the way that they have, which I bet hasn't given you much joy. But you were right.

Yeah, it was written in the numbers. if you take a look at the trend lines and i know that the folks at new sales with wales health have much deeper insight into all of this but i'm sure they saw all of this happening the thing that's worrying me right now is that if you look at the surface it looks like there's a flattening of the curve right but there's another number that i've been tracking which is what we call the positivity rate which is the percentage of cases that come back positive every day and a month ago So on the 8th of August, about one quarter of 1% of cases were coming back positive. And today, 1.1% of those cases are coming back positive.

And if you're getting 130,000 people today, which we are on average in New South Wales, and all of a sudden, four times as many of those are coming back positive, that doesn't tell me that the case numbers are slowing or that we're seeing this peak. Gladys is promising us. I honestly don't know what to make of it, but I don't like it. Like an idiot on Twitter, which I am frequently, I have a theory for you. Yes. The theory that I have is that because the weather's getting warmer, there are fewer

cold and flu symptoms. So fewer people are getting tested. And instead, what's happening is that the people in the LGAs of concern who have to get mandatory testing to leave that area. So they're the ones that are getting picked up. So you would expect more people who've been exposed to go and get tested, if that makes sense. It does except we know for a fact that there's basically no cold and flu around right now. So people aren't getting cold. We know that people aren't getting flu, right? There's basically

no flu in Australia right now. We've kind of eradicated and sort of. Well, because it has an R factor less than Delta. Everything that has an R factor less than Delta has no chance to go anywhere right now, which is basically every communicable disease except for measles. Well, I mean, who knows and certainly I'm no expert. But as the weather gets warmer, I get more optimistic about where we're heading with this. It's going to be somewhere. It's going to be the rising vaccination rates. It's also going to be the fact that effectively everyone's going to catch Delta

and all of us will have some encounter with Delta over the next several months. And the trick about opening up now is how do we balance all of that? Yeah, I mean, I had come to terms mentally with the notion that we were all going to get it. When the Premier started talking about peaks, the notion that we'd have the peak next week and that things would then go down, it made me think, well, hang on, Are we actually going to be able to control it somewhat after all? Those are two very, very different scenarios, aren't they? We are so locked down now theoretically.

And we know that the effective reproduction rate is way lower than the eight or nine that it would be in the wild. It's like 1.2, 1.3. Everywhere Delta has hit, you have to throw everything at it and you still barely just control that rate. So whether we can talk about a peak is a really, that she's saying, If you're calling a peak, she's saying that we've gotten the reproduction rate below one. And I cannot say that I'm seeing that in the data. As much as I would love to see that in the data, I am not seeing that in the data. Just today, the Premier warned that it was now spreading in Glebe and in Waterloo and in Redfern,

which is places that haven't really had a big outbreak. Well, I live in Glebe, so I have a personal interest in this situation. And I am surrounded by all of the suburbs I just mentioned. So I have a personal interest in all of this. You're absolutely right. I mean, it's so hard to know, isn't it? It seems as though there's an emerging model of what life's going to look like. The risks that we're all going to have to balance when things open up.

And at the same time as all this is going on, we're hearing about plans for vaccination passports in terms of the international version and being able to fly again and this whole new world. And what do the numbers tell us about this? I mean, when you look at the rest of the world, do you see sustainable? model. I don't know if there's anywhere you'd really want to be. Is that fair? There are countries that have exceptionally high vaccination rates like Denmark. One of the things that I love as an adopted Australian is that when this nation makes a decision to do something, we move as a unit. And somewhere in that last 60 days, we're going to look back and everyone decided they were going to get vaccinated. It's slowing a little bit now, but you can sort of see where that shift happened. I think we're

going to get to at least 85%, maybe 90%. And then it's going to be about, okay, how do we want to modulate how close we are to one another. Are we willing to tolerate the Christmas dinner as an acceptable risk, which was a decision the British made last year and didn't go well for them, but the British are all indoors at Christmas. We're all outdoors at Christmas. Even Delta can't survive a hot barbecue. So just stay very close to the smoke. That's my, that's my theory. Exactly. Well, you know, or you do, what I see a lot of here is you, you know, you go have Christmas on the beach with the family, right? As a lot of people do. And, you know, you just, keep on getting in the water to wash off all the

drink seawater, that's right. Breathing on you. Don't do that. Exactly. A mix of ivermectin and sea water and you'll be fine, right? And shots of vodka. So this is not, listeners,

this is not medical advice. None of this is medical advice. This is two people having a chat and sharing theories, one of whom has a very, very good understanding of numbers and has done a lot of research into this stuff. And the other one is just talking. No one has figured out how to do this right yet, but we will have some models to follow.

if we can be sensible about it. And it's easier for us to be sensible in summertime because it's just easy for us to be out of door. Yeah, and we will have seen what happened in the previous summer and not want to make the same mistakes. I'm certainly hoping we don't go as far as the UK did in terms of opening things up again. What are your thoughts on the third booster dose theories?

If everyone has three of these things, we might get to a point of immunity where actually we can squash even Delta. I mean, that's the most hopeful thing that I've heard for a while. We are all going to need boosters. There's no question. It feels like we need to be thinking about that planning right now. And you hear people kind of talking about it,

but you don't really hear the TGA saying, here's our booster plan. I feel like that would be the next thing we kind of need to see around this. And, oh, yes, we've made sure that there's going to be enough vaccine available. I want a cocktail, Mark. I want a little bit of Moderna, spice with some Pfizer. And sure, a little bit of a shot of enough vax in there as all. It's just to add a bit of flavor.

I'm very much hoping I'll be able to get the Moderna. So that's another lot of numbers to look at, Mark. How are we traveling in terms of the new vaccines coming in? So what, there's a million Moderna coming this month? I think the NovaVax isn't supposed to be coming until December. We're going to have to give back, what, 5 million doses in December? I'm trying to sort of keep track of the number of doses we've sort of, we've gone to the pawn shop to get.

There's a lot of bartering, isn't there? And there's some massive amount of Moderna due to come online later in the year, I think, to in the millions. So potentially boosters. We'll have the Moderna. I think we're going to have to give back a bunch of the five. to the UK and to Singapore so that they can use that for boosters. They didn't need them right now. The other thing I'm wondering about is why aren't we just throwing money at CSL to get them to

produce as much Astra as possible, giving it to Vietnam, to Indonesia, to Malaysia, and, oh, yes, to the folks in Africa. One of the things that I feel like we've missed here is that the AstraZeneca vaccine was designed to be easy to manufacture. Why haven't there been a whole bunch of plants built? Yeah, and finally, Mark, as someone who watches the cutting edge of science, the other developments that have come out of this, whenever we have a huge humanity-wide effort to crack something in science, you get all kinds of great benefits coming off to the side, what I understand, and correct me if I'm wrong, is that we now can vaccinate against many coronaviruses, as soon as we know what the DNA is, we've got these platforms that can be used to

very quickly roll out new vaccines, so this situation probably won't happen again, at least with a new thing like COVID, but also where, apparently, going to be able to come up with vaccines that can work against an entire category of disease. So, for instance, not just the flu, that's seasonal, but all flu, and potentially not just all the variants of COVID, but all kinds of COVID. So in that sense, the future could be bright with this, with the scientific bounty of COVID. Are you optimistic about that bounty? I am. So the folks who gave us the Moderna vaccine, last week started testing an HIV vaccine. And HIV, this is the reason that we only have long-term treatments for HIV. We don't

have any vaccine. And so we're seeing, I think, more progress is being made in vaccines in the last 18 months, understandably, than probably in the last 20 or 30 years. And we won't lose that progress. And that opens up the door to can we vaccinate against cancers, right? Can you have a cancer? Can we do enough of a genetic analysis to be able to turn your body's own immune machinery, which normally does take care of these things when they happen? Does it give it just enough of a goose of a spin-up to be able to get it to attack the cancer. So ideally, at the end of this decade, we will think of vaccines as not just something that saved our butts for COVID, but became a fundamental element in medicine, and we'll drive the anti-vaxxers crazy.

Yeah, that's the upside. I did interview someone about this not long ago, the notion that a vaccine can become a treatment. So you get a bit of your tumor, you put it in the preform platform, and it does the job. Well, that's exciting. If nothing else, that means all this pain, and lockdown will have been worth something. So let's hope that comes to pass. Well, Mark, thanks for sharing your wisdom with us once again. Not medical advice, but a great overview of the latest developments and how the numbers are looking.

If you want more from Mark, of course, the next billion seconds is his podcast. Thanks again, Mark. Thank you. None of the medical advice contained in the Chaser report should legally be considered medical advice. The Chaser report. Here at the Chaser, we love nothing more than people

who address very serious and important issues through humour and through stunts. which is, of course, why we're huge fans of John Saffron. He's got a new book out called Puff Piece. Now, they did sponsor the podcast last week, but we would have talked to him anyway. Of course, John, thanks for joining us. Well, it sounds like there's going to be like a media watch kind of knockdown of this about how... Podcast Watch is not a thing.

Well, I like to think that it's part of the theme that your book has as well. The compromise that we all have. Yeah. No, we accepted money from you to advertise your book. Yeah. In the same way that, you know, Philip Morris sort of compromises people, but it's just, it's part of life. Well, that was what was so cool about looking at Philip Morris

because it's such a high-stakes example of this, because pretty much anything short of Philip Morris, you can kind of go, well, you know, like really, like, I'm really finding it hard to get worked up about how Puff Piece sponsored the Chaser podcast. us and now he's the interviewer. I mean, I'm even finding it hard to get worked up. Yeah, I know, but I'm even finding it hard to get worked up that like McDonald's says they've got a healthy meal because we kind of all know that they don't or whatever. But this Philip Morris in general,

and particularly their brand new shenanigan, which no one knows about up until this book, is like such a, the most high stakes version of this that it's like hard to kind of go, well, does it really matter? that they're continuing to kill 8 million people a year. That was certainly a surprise for me was that all the way through the book, people are going, why are you so, what's your issue with Philip Morris? They're just corporate citizens just trying to make a buck in this difficult world. What is your issue, Saffron?

Well, I think part of the reason that people think that is because there's just something about cigarettes, that it's the most un-Zightgeist issue sounding issue. It sounds like something from the 1970s or whatever. Like, oh, great. Oh, good on you, John. Cigarettes are bad. Small round of applause. Corporations, like, oh, God, John.

Thank God you're here to tell us all this, right? Except it's really zeitgeisy for the, like, the cancer cells kind of like growing in your body. It is quite interesting. It couldn't be more topical for the cancer cells. Yeah, it's immediate for them. But it is a bizarre, isn't it? We've spent the past year and a half turning the world upside down. to prevent one public health problem

while we've forgotten about the other which has killed, you know, also killed millions. Yeah, well, one big thing, the European Union, their parliament, they decided, like, because they don't like cigarettes. And they want to ban all cigarettes, but they've got to start somewhere. So they did like this incredible thing last year,

which was ban menthol cigarettes all across Europe. So you can't manufacture them and you can't buy them. And they chose menthol because you have to start somewhere, and that's the cigarette that young people who don't yet smoke and also people who just don't smoke in general, that they're most likely to start with that because it's nice and smooth on the throat.

Yeah, minty fresh, practically a health food. And so anyway, so it's getting banned. It's like, how wild is that? All across Europe, so probably the most consequential pushback against cigarettes ever. That is amazing. And Philip Morris, they go, okay, fine, cool. Okay, we won't produce menthol cigarettes anymore.

We'll go along with it. Good on you or whatever. And then they said, oh, by the way, we've got this new product. And God knows it's not a cigarette. And then they show it, and look at this. Look at that. So he's holding up a cigarette. That looks exactly.

It's kind of like if a cigarette and a tampon had a baby. It's like a short cigarette. Like a, it's like a cheap cigarette. Fun-sized cigarette. Yeah. So it's like, they say, listen, we've got this new product. And it's tobacco rolled in paper with a filter at one end that you plant between your lips, inhaling nicotine and tobacco into your lungs. But God knows, it's not a cigarette.

It's a heat stick. It's a heat stick. It's a heat stick, right? And you might think, how are they going to get away with this? like because you just hold it up to anyone you don't have to say anything and they're like it's amazingly cigarette it's a cigarette like it doesn't look at anything like a vapor or anything like that it's a cigarette right and then but the most amazing thing is that the european union even though they had all those like wise lawmakers working on this legislation

for years to ban menthol cigarettes they did not factor in what happens is philip morris just says oh uh this is a heat stick it's not a cigarette and it works So menthol cigarettes are banned all across Europe But they can still sell menthol heat sticks And I just could not believe that And it was galling, wasn't it? Because they actually launched their menthol It's called Icos, isn't it?

Yeah Their menthol icos cigarettes across Europe On the same day That menthol cigarettes were banned So yes It even sounds, ICOS even sounds like iPod or iPhone They even put an eye on the front of it Yeah, yeah, that's right

So then, so what happens is a heat stick, instead of being lit by a lighter, instead, what happens is you've got this little device here, and it looks like a spaceman's, an astronaut's pen or something like that. Looks pretty cool. And what you do is, here I'm holding this up, you insert the heat stick into that, and then you press this, and it heats it up to an incredible degree, the tobacco, in the, the heat stick. Yeah, so the device is called the ICOS, but it never actually catches a light, according to Philip Morris. So they say that even though the heat

is creating a discharge that looks like smoke, and at the very least, is filled with tobacco and nicotine that you inhale into your lungs. They say because it hasn't caught on fire, therefore it hasn't combusted, therefore, and they say smoke is caused by combustion,

therefore this thing that kind of seems a lot like smoke containing nicotine and tobacco that you're inhaling into your lungs isn't technically speaking smoke. Therefore, they use the word, and it's a very clever word, better. They say it's better than a cigarette. And they're very careful with that because, like, better's not safer or healthier, is it? Or less risky, really. You can't sue over better, can you?

It's better. So, but the way they present it, the way your ears are going to take it, is that this is safer or healthier than a cigarette. But John, without wanting to spoil at the end of the book, you do, you actually end up with a bit of a scoop. Oh, yeah. That was, um, that was pretty amazing. Like, when you say scoop, you mean like, it's like front page of the age scoop. Yes, totally. Like, because it actually goes into the harder, without wanting to review.

exactly. It's about how Philip Morris actually orchestrated things in the political system in Australia. Yeah, like stuff that's like never been revealed before. So it's not, yeah, it's so, I was so excited. But to do that, to get that scoop, you sort of betrayed a kind of friend slash contact. Yeah, I know, I know. And it was all sort of accidental as well. You didn't even mean stuff.

But don't call it betrayal. Call it friendship 2.0 or eye friendship. You can just rename it. To be fair to me, like, it wasn't my fault. And also, the person who I quote unquote betrayed, like they were very high up in an organisation, so it wasn't like I was kicking a puppy or whatever. And also it was totally newsworthy and everything like that.

What's his reaction been? Can you say? I know that he likes the book. Right. It's very hard to get a sympathetic. betrayal of him. Yeah, and it kind of doesn't make him look bad or anything like that. It just makes me look, well, it doesn't make me look bad either.

It's just like a thing. But it'll be very interesting, because it's early days, like the book hasn't been out for even a week. And I'm not that cocky that I don't think there's not going to be some sort of blowback, which I can't, I don't even know what to expect. John Safran's new book is called Puff Piece. It's available everywhere right now. and on e-book, regular book. That's if you want to use the pages for Rowley,

but also audio book with me squeaking, because I know a lot of people like to hear audio books, and people miss my show with Father Bob. Father Bob's big in this book, by the way. I do Father Bob's voice, so manage your expectations. But, you know, so it's going to fill that emotional whole of, oh, I really miss John squeaking in my ears with his insufferable whining. So buy it in every format is what I'm here.

Yeah, excellent. Thanks, John. Thank you. Bye-bye. This episode is brought to you by the villagers downstream from the cobalt mine. Their bravery and cavalier response to having their water supply willfully contaminated by toxic industrial runoff means that the electronics we use to listen to this podcast are even cheaper. How good's that?

So just before we go, Dom, the chase has been in the news again. Oh, wonderful. What did we do this time? Well, we didn't actually do anything, but you know, friendly Jordy's that YouTube a comedian? Oh yeah, he's getting sued by the Deputy Premier of New South Wales. Yes, yes. And he also is up on basically terrorism charges by the fixated persons unit. Oh, yeah.

Because one of his producers... Kept coming up to John Barilaro, that's right. Yeah, yeah. In New South Wales, just for other people in other states, what happens in New South Wales when you try and be a journalist and accuse summit of corruption is that you actually get pursued by the police. It's a very, it's a very, you know, authoritarian system.

Anyway, whatever you think of Friendly Geordy's and his videos, there is now a legal ruling on how funny he is compared to us. Really? Oh, well, this is a point in the show where you do the reviews on the Friday show at the end before the weekend. So let's take this review from. Who was the review from? Well, it was from a magistrate. This was on Wednesday in Downing Center Local Court.

and she had to rule on whether some video that Friendly Geordies had made in August was incontemptive court and she ruled, I can't actually find, Jacqueline Medledge was the magistrate, thank you for this review, Jacqueline. She found that while Friendly Jordies doesn't hold a candle to the satire of the chaser, she was not certain his contact rose to contempt of court. So there you go. more funny, or at least we certainly hold a higher candle in our standard of satire than friendly doorties.

Well, I mean, that is a win for him in terms of not getting done with contempt to court, and a win for us in terms of critical acclaim. Although, to look at it another way, Charles, that means that we are less threatening and problematic for the tools of the state. Oh, well, that's an unpleasant thought for a Friday morning. Look, we have here the reviews that people have left on Apple Podcasts. And not as many this week. I'm going to start with this one.

I feel like we've got to plug the reviews more from now on, Dom. I think we just go in really hard. I think everyone's got to get out there and review in the iTunes store. We just want funny comments. We might put it on Facebook as well. We just want you to be funny. That would be really good. That way we don't have to be funny for this, but we can just read your funny stuff.

Someone called SlackO 87 says two. G.B for me, and then gives us five stars, which seems contradictory. But anyway, worth listening for Gabby's Evil Laugh, I would have it as my ringtone, but I'm old enough to remember the Chaser TV show, so I'm old enough, so I'm too old to know how to make my own ringtones. Oh, that's a bit slack. Slack-o? You slack?

Just look on YouTube like a millennial would. Okay, so the next one is from Una Terra, and this person says, Now My Only News Source. Well, this doesn't bode well. She gives it five stars Well you would if it was your only news source And you had nothing to compare it to It's right

It's sort of like the Tucker Carlson syndrome She's locked into But the comment is The least depressing news to listen to Well that's That's certainly not my experience Of this podcast Yeah it's quite depressing to make

So I'm glad to hear that They also introduce you to much better podcasts Like the next billion seconds Oh Well Mark was in today's episode there you go he's a very good man listen to his podcast and they actually let women speak wow just not today because gabby's away um because she has a very successful career um all right this person also then rubs in um how much better life is in brisbane than it is in city she says it's

quite entertaining to listen to when you're in brisbane because you get to go out and go to cinemas and shops and things so yeah so thank you for saying that we weren't depressing and then depressing us Another Gabby fan here. This is JLHL. Keep Cup is the headline, five stars again. Gabby, you're the best. Your disbelief is refreshing. Makes me feel less alone.

And Charles Dictionary Words are words. So there you go. Rebuk for you and praise for Gabby. That's as it should be, I think. Well, I dispute the dictionary words are words. I mean, I think that's, yeah. I mean, look it up in the dictionary. That's what I'd say.

In some respects, we're just trying to get you to write more reviews. So we do better in the podcast. for Apple, that would be helpful. But the real thing is, just give us any number of stars. We just want your review so we can read it out and have a funny moment on the show. And also, remember to like or follow or subscribe in your podcast app. Yep, that way you'll get the episodes automatically and it will be better for us too. We'll get to make more money for delivering this content for you for free.

That sounds like a good deal to me. Our gear is from Road Microphones, thanks to them. And to Acast, we're part of their creator network. Have a great weekend. Oh, and don't forget tomorrow, the full John Saffron experience comes out. It's 50-odd minutes of Saffron. It's going to be fantastic. It's a great listen for your weekend.

See ya.