The Chaser Report - "Live and Arty" | Craig Reucassel, Mark Humphries, Jennifer Forward-Hayter, Gabbi Bolt & Charles Firth

Episode Date: November 19, 2023

The Chaser Report Live & Arty was recorded on the 17th of November at The Tap Gallery. Discussing art, archibalds, renting, and terrible podcast decisions. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Chaser Report is recorded on Gadigal Land. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chaser Report. Well, hello, and welcome to The Chaser Report, live and Artie. Nice. Yeah, well, I think the reason that Charles has done this is to answer the question, who are the people who would turn up to a podcast in an art gallery? Like, who is that nerdy? Yes.

Good. So we're going to talk mainly about art tonight, but the way we wanted to kick it off, well, the way I wanted to kick it off was to bring up the topic of should arts funding be abolished? Because just explain what you're seeing in this room here. This is all by Jennifer Ford Hater, who's there.

That's the artist. And her name is App. because I think I hate her because she spent about a month trailing around, you know, the chaser office and, you know, following all the interns and watching us do, you know, and taking photos every single day.

And I'm not in the fucking exhibition. Everyone else is, like, oh, look, John, the intern, big fucking huge wall-sized poster of it, Lachlan, the podcast producer Another wall Alexer, another intern Fucking gets a nude Andrew Hanson who doesn't even work

on the thing now She flew down to Melbourne For one day Gets a photo of Andrew puts it up All right Those those fucking post-it notes

In our office Hey hey Got a more prominent position than me It's really good handwriting We wrote those I think. To be fair, I mean, there is a picture of a suit that, I presume she photoshopped you out of that.

Oh, Charles is in this. It does show that Jennifer has extraordinary taste. Yeah, it's great. I think I only took one photo of Andrew, doesn't it won awards or something? Yeah, there's two awards. It's won two awards. This photo of Andrew has won two awards.

And he's not even here. The photo of Charles is the toilet paper tonight. Yeah, there's a small photo Because I know you're all desperate You're all going But where's the photos of Charles Right And there's a small one at the front

That she sort of Like I think she just got to develop A big W or something like that And then there's one round there And that's it So I think the point is That all arts funding should be abolished Jen I think you should take photos of this moment

and then develop them later and then you would look at it later and go yeah they just don't work I don't know no it'll be a whole exhibition called Charles's rage what's wrong with my technique what I would love everyone to do tonight

is to take as many photos as you can and Photoshop Charles out of them yes it'd be fantastic it'd be stunning it's good to know Charles you have a face for podcasting but not for art

but you've been on the receiving end of you've kind of worked out how to game the arts funding system. Oh, yeah. You had a museum piece a few years ago. Yes. Called the Museum of Words. Yes.

How did that come about? It was a big scam, wasn't it? This is the greatest scam of my life. And I think actually also one of the greatest things I've ever done, actually, which is in 2012, I can't even remember why we did it. But I think we just wanted to make a bit of money, right? And so we thought, how do you make the most amount of money for the least amount of work, right? And we obviously thought, like Jennifer, art, right?

And so what we did is we came up with the, that's right, because city, this is really sad because, you know, I love City of Sydney, aren't they great? But we did sort of scan them, but so City of Sydney were doing their cultural grants. Every year they do cultural grants, they give arts grants out. And so, and it was coming up, and so I apply, I said, why don't we photocopy a whole lot of words, put them on a piece of paper, and put them on walls, and we'll call it a museum of words, right? And so I then wrote up this application describing, you know, this museum of words, which was literally just photocopied pieces of paper on a wall, and they gave me $20,000 to do it. And it was fucking fantastic And it was so good And then some other funder came on

For another seven and a half grand Because like we'd got this arts grant And suddenly I was in like the arts grant You know industrial complex industry Right And we had so much fun We spent like a thousand dollars on the invitations And the way we did the invitations

Was we did We got black cardboard And then we printed it in black and send it out to everyone and then and then the whole concept because we got a bit ambitious because you've got $27,000 to spend

right? Sure. And so we went why don't we get famous people to donate words? Right? And then the idea is that they're not allowed

to use that word while it's donated to the gallery. So we wrote to everyone we wrote to Gina Reinhart and she donated the word perseverance. with this really shitty sort of arrogant, conservative description of the word.

And then we wrote to the queen. This is the best one. We wrote to the queen. She replied saying that she wouldn't donate a word. That's great. I own all the words. I presume she wrote this down, though. Yeah, I know.

She donated like 100 words explaining that she wouldn't donate a word. word what a cunt to make sure to you are yeah God rest her soul to make sure they didn't they didn't steal another word she wrote it on white paper and white ink

well the British Empire is very white so it's just so it's interesting that's a much stronger argument for getting rid of arts funding than the fact that you're not in this exhibition I've got to say Charles I would have opened with that

No, but the funny thing was Okay, so what happened was We then Because the whole point about art Is you got to get publicity You've got to get people to come along, right? So we then, like the day before it launched Because we hired this beautiful

Chalice Gallery or something like that Like Chalice Studios or something Chalice Street Clearly fond in your heart, yeah In Potts Point Like this amazing building To put up all the photocopied words and

do we even frame them I can't even remember Yeah we frame them They did actually look quite good Yeah yeah I was pleasantly surprised Yeah I mean it printed out a little corflit

We had a description of each word Like you know There was like a definition A dictionary And we had a gift shop We had a gift shop We had a dictionary No no

We had a definition of dictionary Which was called A portable museum of words Right Good And you could buy the words, couldn't you? You could buy the words.

Oh, yeah, yeah, it was art. It was all about money, yeah. And people did buy. How much were the words going for? Like, 200 bucks. Yeah, of course. Anyway, so then... You really invented NFTs.

You really invented. Well, you actually came up with the best idea you ever had and failed it. And fucked it up. But to get publicity for the event, I rang up the art critic at the Herald this lovely woman called Susan Wyndham who I treated very poorly because the first

So I started out by pointing out that it was a total scam and criticising our funders going This is an entire scam The city of Sydney should be ashamed for funding this. It's just a whole lot of words on a wall. Just to get publicity.

Like, it was sort of performance art, right? Like, I wasn't actually saying that. Just to get the numbers in, right? And then we were trying to get... And that got, like, that went viral. There was the top story in the Herald that day. And then we went, how do we milk it? So my producer and I sat down.

We went, how do we milk it for another news cycle? Like, get a second bite of the cherry. We went, we've got to... stage, a fight, and you have to sack me, right, for saying such awful things about arts funding, right? And so we orchestrated it, and we're just sitting there, and I texted, no, I tweeted out, I can't believe how shit Tanya Safi is. She's so shit, you know, like, you know, what a disgrace, you know, and change my

bio to not be, you know, founder of the museum of the word. So you were saying, I've been sacked, I've been sacked. In sex, within five minutes, Susan goes, what's the story? And it's like, I'm too angry to talk, right? And she calls Tanya, and at one point she goes, now, are you, are you sure you're not just, like, pranking me? You know, like, this is legit. And it's like, oh, I'm totally sure. And we got a whole extra, and then that went global, right?

Like, that actually, the BBC picked it up, I did this long, anyway, there. Can I just say, sorry. As a young person where getting an arts grant is like finding a needle in a fucking haystack, I'm so mad about this. All I have to do is fake that I'm good at something and it's like, oh, he's $20,000. Gabby, I know it's very frustrating and it's obviously an evil act that he did. Yes. But as long as he's never stupid enough to record it and put it out live on a podcast, it's fine.

He's such a genius. I almost just feel like really cheated because I've worked for him. But at no point, has he been like, Gabby, here's what you should do to get some extra money. It's like you've been hiding your secrets. It's all in grants applications. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We have talked about the fact that Charles hasn't made the exhibition, and I think we've all agreed that's a good move, yes.

The audience is definitely on board for that. Well done, Jen. You've really nailed it. Yeah, crap. Let's talk about some of the art that did make. I'd like to, if you all turn around to the back there, this picture of Mark here, Gabby, can you describe this for the people who can't see this? in like podcast-friendly viewing.

Yeah, yeah. What is, explain Mark there. Mark is attempting to do the Michael Jackson lean. And then halfway through looking at the camera, realizing he's being documented and immediately regretting that decision. He's trusting he's growing forward. I don't know why.

Why? Were we there that day? It was a private solo shit. So we let you do that. Yeah. No, like I'm just, I feel like a bad friend that I watched you obviously pose like this. And then you didn't intervene.

You didn't stop that crying for me. Obviously, Mark was like, well, I'll never put this in because they've got all these great photos of charge. Yeah, no, I'm not sure. So, yeah, talk us through that, right? Well, yeah, there's clearly a lot behind it. Yeah, it gets me. I mean, it reeks of single and ready to mingle, doesn't it?

I think my marriage had just ended, and I think that comes through. Yeah, yeah, yeah. in the photo. Interestingly enough, that photo was presented by your ex-wife to the court and she got a hundred percent custody and all of the money, just off that photo.

Yeah, that's exactly right. At the moment, and I guess this is the thing goes back to Charles' thing, at the point where you were doing that, did you realize you were art? I've always felt I'm art. I feel everything I do is art, and it was just nice that someone finally captured it.

But I think it's also true that whatever your worst pose is, is the one that will be... Make the shot, yeah. I will, Craig, is there a single photo of you in this exhibition? No, no. I'm not in this at all. So you have no stakes and you're just ready to roast. You were too busy working. Wait, is there a photo of a plastic bag somewhere?

Oh no, Craig, get out as a plastic bottle. Jen flew to Melbourne to photograph two seconds of Andrew. Apparently she couldn't find me in Sydney. No, you were too busy being a wildlife warrior. I'm the one that should be offended by this whole thing. No, no. Oh, it sounds like a threat. But you've posed, you must have posed at some point

for a portrait or some sort? How old are you? I've posed for an archibald before. What? Have you, like, sat for one? Well, no, it was actually, well, he wasn't really planned. It was just a friend who was an artist who's cross-road and we got really drunk.

And he painted me, but then he didn't finish it. stunning so then he he gave me i literally have rolled up in my in my house like he gave me a like it's like about i'd say four meters by six meter picture of me it's actually done quite a good job what the fuck am i going to do with that i am not one of those people who would ever get i think i find it fascinating people like you walk into the house and go oh there's a picture of you that's good anyone that buys their archibald and puts it on the wall is a psychopath yeah but I got a good deal on mine oh shit

oh yes oh no so wait a minute you sat for yes I sat for one which was it was didn't make it that's why you've never seen it I think the most did you do that post

is that why I went to that easy people don't know it's the packing room prize and then there's the ones they burn I think the least dignifying part of it is having to carry it in with the artist to the gallery to be rejected.

Wait, did they do that in person? No, no, no. Oh, I thought it was like top model. I really was like, they wheel each painting and they're like, no, no, definitely not. It was shark tank, I was saying, this pose means single wedded a mingle. And yes, and it was rejected. And so, yes, it had no inheritance. How did you find the experience of being painted?

Oh, it was thrilling. It was good, well, I mean, how long did it take? Well, I mean, I was probably only, you know, he took a few photos, some tasteful nudes, and then I did, which just for his private collection. But I think I probably only, maybe an hour or two, and he felt like he had enough. Oh, right, because I always thought that the rule with the archibor was that the person had to sort of sit and you paint them while they were sitting. That is the rule.

That's why to get in. Maybe I'm exposed to an artist. It might have been longer. Now I think about it was seven to eight days of sitting. So you know the interesting thing about nude painting right now is that so the first person that turned up for this particular thing today was quite a young, hot guy, right? And I thought, wow, this is a lot younger audience

that I expected for this. To see now. It turns out that what is, no offence to all of you. It turns out that the reason was is that this room tonight is normally used for a nude painting exhibition and he's the nude model. and they've moved it into the other room over there. Hey, it's right here.

We're in the wrong room. We're all going to look at him at the end of this. You're going to stay for the podcast, okay? And when you see the pose that he goes for. Yeah, exactly. It's like a bit of a carrot and stick, so I've told you there's a hot guy posing nude over there, but also at the end of this,

Mark will do that pose to get nude as well. Between the two of them, we will all be in the other room very quickly. You can have one incredible man or settle for three really average ones. Thank you and good night. I didn't mean it. I didn't mean that. I didn't mean that's a fair call.

I didn't mean it. I mean, I did, but I'm going to say I didn't because I need to get paid. So, Charles, you haven't sat for... I never. Thank God. I was really worried I was the only one on this panel that had to never have... No, I'm young. Who wants to paint me?

They'll be like, cool, painting of young, poor, in a West Sydney person. It's not going to go anywhere. Well, they're so common. Yeah. But none of us have made it in, though. It's fine. No, no. I mean, we can't even afford art.

We can't, because, I mean, as renters, we're not even allowed to put. Yeah. Stop on the wall. But, yeah, because you're renters, aren't you? Yeah. It's funny, I guess, yeah, it's interesting because there was a bit of a generational divide in this panel, and I was thinking on the way in here. We've got a bit of art kind of crowd here,

so I was trying to write down some of the potential topics. that would work with a You know Can I just run this past you two Just see if it would go play all Is it annoying When you fill all your walls with art So you have to buy a second house

Isn't that? Yes Yes Isn't that annoying It is Oh that's so annoying See it's a fuck Look

Oh God it's working It's so relatable for this crowd And you've got to play stamp duty It's such a shame That it's harder to buy art through your super fund now Yes It's definitely the case isn't it?

You know, doesn't it suck? Doesn't it suck? Everyone is going to be on board with this one. Doesn't it suck when you're trying to build a new, like, part of the gallery and give them their money and get your name on it and stuff? And they do the ethics test and you don't pass. Fuck, I hate that. Well, I thought about just putting up some words in my apartment.

Apparently, that's going to cost me $20,000. You can do that now. Sell it. It's fine. No, but anyway, it's great. I have mould growing in my house that I tell the landlord is art and then I hope that he doesn't look too closely. It kind of does look like a dog though.

Hang on, I too. Why isn't the landlord? I've never understood. Why isn't the landlord? What do you mean? Why isn't the landlord fixing the mold? Yeah, why don't I just go buy a house? Like, I don't know.

What do you mean? That's like you get a house in Sydney. You know you're getting mold and potentially a lung infection. Like that's the bare minimum now. Yeah, but I feel like that that's the... I went to a friend's house the other day. and the floor squelched, dude. Like, the bar floor, bar, coffin.

Like, that's where it is. And look, I did get your application to me to fix that. And, look, I would have fixed it, but I've seen some great art here tonight, and I really feel like... So the mould in your place is a sort of Rorschach test, is it? Oh, what is that? What is that? Sorry.

You said you saw a dog in it. Yeah, yeah, it kind of looks like it's kind... Well, you kind of got to squint, but you squint and, like, sort of like, and then back away. And it kind of looks like that. It's a magic eye puzzle, is what you're saying. I mean, it's mold, Mark.

I don't know what to tell you. We didn't exactly train it to look the way it did. But every time somebody mentions it, I just say, yeah, it's art. Maybe you should convert your house into an art gallery. No, no, no, no. Just put a sign out the front saying art gallery. Like a business. Get a grant.

Yes, get a grant. You can get a grant to show the problem with renting in Sydney. Yes. And then you put frames around. the mould and put a little signature in the bottom of like next to the mould yeah yeah so that you know it's like your art this is good and then you get give people stickers and then get a whole of people who own property to come in they'll put stickers around all the who do you think i know that own property i'm genuinely curious well yeah well yeah okay you're all welcome at my house

my sharehouse will hate it but i presume you own property but you just rent because you The tax reasons, yeah. No, that's why anyone in Parliament rants. Rentsing as performance are. I think that, to be fair, this podcast has taken a kind of a bad turn whereby it's really people in an older generation picking on people from a younger generation, which is why I'd like to extend that for a second.

If we look at this picture over here of Loughlin, right? So Loughlin, one of the young interns that helped out on the chase Obviously, it was exploited by Charles. Obviously, that's an entire case for the future. But what's fascinating about art is that it captures a moment. And if you actually look at that piece of art, there is on the wall, there is a little square piece of A4 paper that says,

Lachlan will give everyone $110 if Labor wins the election, signed by Lachlan. I love this. So now, the question is, did Lachlan cough up? No. No. No. So this is fantastic. Fantastic is what we've now done is, again, one of the younger generation of the chaser

is now losing an extra $110. Although, to be fair, how do you read that? Is it $110 to everyone, as in you spread it between everyone, or everyone involved in the chaser gets $110 from Loughlin? I think everyone in the chaser gets $100,000. Well, that's how you read it. I wanted to be nicer, because when he made that bet, I knew it was dumb. But this is my favourite photo because it's actually, I just complete that.

was saying before we went live, I forgot that that bet ever existed and now it's documented in the biggest format possible. It's on a photo. And I was just texting him today and he's just bought a PS5 and so now I'm kind of like, well, you can

make up for this bet if you just let me play that. My plan is actually just to dock his wages now until the dead is paid off. Sort of indentured labour. That's good.

I mean, what is a better lesson for him to not gamble than to make him hawk his brand new PS5? Yeah, yeah. To pay everyone $100 million. That's right. Merry Christmas. But what gave him the confidence to think that Morrison would win? He didn't, he doesn't have confidence, he's a young person, no, he just wanted to be contrarian.

Yeah, so he thought that, that is true actually, that's interesting. Yeah. But a lot of people thought Morrison would win up until the election. They were just generally in the right wing media. But this is dated 8th of February 22. Oh, this is before he spear tackle the child. No, I think it was just after he speared to go. And Lachlan went, that's a winner right there.

Actually, Lachlan does play soccer. I mean, it's a very real possibility. He saw that slick side tackle and went, that's my man. I love in that moment that Morrison holds the child just a moment too long because in that moment he knows he's fucked. because as soon as he lets go he has to face the consequences of having speartackled a child

I do also love that that bet is placed above a drawing that we made of Loughlin that was initially meant to audition him for a non-existent show that we heard about once in the office where they were looking for a young affable receptionist and Loughlin for some reason thought that was him so we drew him like a headshot

because he didn't have one and it had started out very very genuine and like Lachlan young affable receptionist and somehow turned into Lachlan, sex lawyer. I really, I really wish I could explain how that happened. Does that say sex lawyer? Yeah, it's my handwriting. But I don't know how we got there, and I still couldn't tell you.

That is a great concept for a show. Lockland, sex lawyer. But it's also a hole in the market. There's so few sex lawyers now. It's also the vibe I was going for in my photo. Because, true, if that's it, Markle's sex lawyer, That's it. It would make total...

Just for any podcast listeners, this is really good stuff if you could see the photo. I think that's sex paralegal, actually. Sex typist. Popatry of the... Stop it. I've got to shut my mouth.

The reason I picked that photo is because we've talked about it here, you're going to have to put it out on Instagram and everything else to go with this podcast. That's if we ended it up. I would hate for only the people in this room to see that photo.

It's a shame, isn't it? But we've got an artist in the audience. Darren, hello, Darren, how are you, Matt? Oh, okay. Now, Darren, what do you think about Charles's? I mean, have you had any success with arts funding? Have you gone through grants applications? What do you think about Charles's approach to...

It took all the great words. It took all the great words. You were in it before us. Well, I think that's right. Because you can only do it once, right, can you? Because the whole point about art is, it's got to be completely unique. Like, the definition of art is something that's never been done before. Sorry, did you just say, just change the font?

That's brilliant, that's brilliant. Museum of Words, comic sands. Brilliant. To be fair. That's a thinker. To be fair, Charles could probably sue Jen, because she has just photographed, like, post-endosters. That's a, that's a museum of words. You can be caught.

What a hack. What a hack. I do feel like that we should probably give Jen a kind of right or reply to the entire. Oh, yeah. Yeah, come up. You can have my mic. And, um, oh, yeah. Great applause.

Welcome to the artist. Oh, oh. There you go. Yes, exactly. Yes. Yeah, the movement is going to be. just photos of Mark Humphreys. I'm surprised

the exhibition isn't just that photo multiple times. Well, it started off as that. That was the main image and it was going to be just as big as Alexa and then it slowly got smaller and smaller. Okay. It is true that it's strange

that we haven't mentioned the fact that there's a the largest picture in the whole room. No, don't worry about it. Is Alexa naked with a suitcase with money in front of him? If you knew Alexa, though, that's like a Thursday for Alexa. Like, if you go to his Twitter account, that's literally like every second post. And actually, Alexa was here at the premiere on Tuesday, and he walked in and he went, oh, thank God it's that one.

So what was the one that he was fearing? So I think he was going to try and make a video about this guy he found that skin cats. and so you know I've talked to him about that yeah I've seen the cats so he was like I would turn up with the camera I was five minutes late

his clothes were off and he was like do you want to see the cats and I was like yes of course I want to see the cats and I think his girlfriend or someone at the time just like threw some skin cats down at me

and I was like fantastic that sounds like a classical X or interaction did you find out if there is indeed more than one way to skin a cat but get back to them Mark I would say you're better than that but I've seen the photo

I want to ask you a question though because a lot of people want to get into art and there's a lot of arts people hearing this but I want to ask Jen about the approach of what it takes to get art so the picture we talked about earlier which is just a suit hanging on the wall there actually has a fascinating backstory

that is actually Carl Stefanovic's sexism suits, so now, but this is the story behind it. You flew to the Sunshine Coast to Nusa to try and find this. Should I explain what Carl and Stephanie's... This is the suit

that he wore for like a year every day over and over to show, prove that people cared about what women wore, not what men wore. It was it's a great shame that in actual fact is the greatest statement about fashion way that's ever been made by Carl Stephanovic.

True. He's our greatest environmental warrior and the sexism warrior that there is. Okay? We're all... You know, Jermaine Greer was good, but, you know, in terms of Australian feminists, I think Carl Stefanovic ranks high,

smashed her out of the park, just by not changing. But you flew to Nusa to get it. Now, talk us through what you went through to actually get this. Well, so I sort of stalked this guy for about a month and I followed him on every social media and I found his parents

because I knew this suit had been auctioned off to a kind of wedding company on Hamilton Island and so I found everyone involved in that organisation and I was like, where's the suit? Who's got it? And it ended up being the son of the owners who had moved to Noosa and he was in America so it crossed like four different times

zones and it was just hanging out in his wardrobe. I was like, I'm coming to your house. But the interesting part of it is you're leaving out the pack. It says on this thing, you slept overnight in a public toilet. Your trousers tucked into your socks to fend off deadly spiders

with $10,000 of uninsured camera equipment in a Nusa toilet. Yeah, that's typical Nusa life, isn't it? What I like about this is that to Jen, that's just the normal part of the art story. You didn't even think that was the strange part of it.

She's like, but I do that every night. What are you talking about? I'm an artist. Australian public toilets are so clean. They are cleaner than places that I've rented. There's been some campaigning done by some prominent radio personalities in Australia to ensure that they're better than others. That's good, yes.

No, I inspected one earlier today. I put in an offer of $1,000 a week. Could I put my spare arm? out there if you get it because eyes just got too much fucking art for the walls

it can be like the Maricville Metro where they put the big portrait of young Alpo up we could just put the portrait of you

up there that'd be great if anyone's got a spare toilet for my art that'd be great but so the guy

literally has just bought this suit and it's just holding onto it in Nusa you can't you? Well no now you can't

now it just is in his wardrobe because he left his parents and started his own business I don't know doing something

boring so now he has the suit just in his wardrobe. But at least he's a feminist. What I like about this story, though, is that Jen, as a photographer doing this kind of art exhibition, has better investigative journalism skills

than most journalists in Australia. She's tracked this guy down. Genuinely. I will say as well, there was an ABC documentary just before this that was partly about the chaser and being offensive and stuff, and they tried to track it down, and they didn't. They couldn't do it.

Well, there you go. When has Kate McLean on ever slept in a toilet? I ask you that. But talking of journalists, friendly Jordy's. He's also on the wall there. He is, yeah. Do you want to explain what happened the night you shot him? I mean, not shot him.

Fuck's sake. I turn up to his place. He's super stressed. His whole team is super stressed. You're in the studio, right? Yeah, yeah. I'm in his little studio place. got fishes and paintings of himself everywhere.

Craig, Craig. Call back, unintentional callback. Stealing my material. And he's super distracted, super stressed because he can't find his house keys. And I'm there, and I'm like, I don't care about your house keys. I'm here to photograph you. So stop, look, you don't need your house keys. They're not important.

Forget about it. The next day, I've slept in piss. I'd kill for fucking house keys. I've killed several wild pests with my bare hands. I'm boasting about having a house keys. I got here on the back of a wild deer. And so the next day, I get a text message of a house on fire, and it's his house.

He had not found his house keys because I had distracted him. And so he was safe. I saved his life. He slept in the studio that night. And they found as well his fire alarm had been tampered with at his home. So him and his girlfriend would have just been burnt alive. Can I ask you, Jennifer, did you firebomb his house? Yeah, I was going to say.

For the sake of this anecdote. Well, when I turned up, he invited me to the press conference. And when I turned up, he was like, I bet you're happy. Did he, on any level, accuse you there? Sorry, did he, like, on any level accuse you, firebobbing? I don't think legally he could. No, it's true. But obviously, you were massively disappointed because had he died in that,

you would have got the last photograph of him, which is... Exactly, exactly. Way, way, fucking worth way more. I mean, the fact that it's just one of 20 things out the back there because he's still alive. I want the artist in the room. Hey, I'm just saying to the artists in the room, finish the job.

We're not going to broadcast this, are we? Well, I'm currently the editor, so how about we just edit that one out? Note to me later, leave it in. Where do we go from there? I don't know. Surely that's enough. Is that enough?

To be fair, you've given them a tip of how to get arts funding. I've told them how to make a picture being worth a lot more. What the fuck more can we give this arts crowd? Oh, you've also taught young artists that their life is worth more if they just cut it off now. Like that's the vibe we end on. Great vibe, everyone. Merry Christmas.

Christ. Anyway, so usually Dominic Knight co-hosts the Chaser Report. And the one skill that he has is he always has the ability to sort of wrap things up neatly. So that's... A lot of people think that's a bit. But the other day, I had to edit a podcast episode with Charles and a literal robot. I'm not kidding. Charles went, Dom's not here.

So what could I do? Could I call any number of my friends that I know are great at talking on podcast? Nah, I'm just going to interview Google's new AI and I'm going to stretch it out for 15 minutes. And then I'm listening to this thing at 11pm at night while editing going, like this is,

it was sad because Charles got out Fox Play. Charles signed the company over to Google AI. If I can never leave it to Charles. At one point, the AI went, Charles, do you think we should wrap this? episode up now. Hang on. Hang on, that's great.

That means we were replaced Tom. That's his only use. It was a low point. I didn't know. I can't believe if we were telling you this, I wouldn't, I wasn't planning on outing this problem. But I debated texting you being like,

Charles, this is maybe the worst episode that you have ever recorded of this show. We got so many complaints about it. or people email just going, please never do that again. And then the story keeps going and I haven't told you this bit

either because I'm convinced you actually didn't listen to the next episode. The next episode happens because on that episode Charles very down in the dubs of what he's just done says and I promise

Dom will be back tomorrow and then lo and behold the next day comes. I'm like cool so when are you guys recording and they go oh shit ah fuck and so they don't record anything and then Charles is like oh we'll just go back to one of the war stories

but the problem is when he says So, you know, go back to the Wallstores. The protocol is you have to still do an intro. And I didn't feel like recording one. So I just went on AI. And I made Snoop Dogg give the intro to the next episode of the podcast. And you never said anything. So I was just convinced you never listened to it.

I did not ask your opinion. That's this week. That happened like three days ago. And I just want to point out, has anyone noticed that Dom hasn't done the last several podcasts? Guess who got the last photo of Dom Knight, ladies gentlemen. I told you. Finish the job.

I'm selling it out of the front. It's worth millions. Well, since Charles is incapable of this, this has been the Chaser of Paul. Let's look at the nude guy. Our gear is from Road, and we're part of the iconoclass network. See ya.

Thank you.