The Chaser Report - No Brain No Gain

Episode Date: October 13, 2026

Dom and Charles are back from school holidays and in fighting form with a red-hot story about a man who lived without a brain. What happens next? Did he become a One Nation candidate? Did he invest in NFTs? Or did he decide to host a daily comedy podcast? Only way to know is to listen. ---Listen AD-FREE: https://thechaserreport.supercast.com/ Follow us on Instagram: @chaserwarSpam Dom's socials: @dom_knightSend Charles voicemails: @charlesfirthEmail us: [e-mail] CEO’s Super-yacht upgrade Fund: https://chaser.com.au/support/ Send complaints to: [e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Chaser Report is recorded on Gatigal Land. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chaser Report. Hello and welcome back to The Chaser Report with Dom and Charles. If you don't know by now, we take school holidays off because of our intense delight of spending time with our children. I actually spent almost no extra time with my children over the school holidays. Charles, the entire premise of this break was no good. It just meant that I did more work of other kinds.

Why didn't you spend time with the kids? Don't you love your kids? I do. But the way I show my love to my kids is by organizing an intense program of holiday activities that have much more fun for them than hanging out with me. I've always found it amazing how much holiday activities cost. Because it really is one of those yield pricing things where they don't price it according to the value that they give.

It's about the value that you derive from it, which is essentially infinite. You'd pay infinite amount of money, spend less time. with your kids. It is feeling a bit like that at the moment. And, I mean, ironically, I had to do all the, you know, extra work in order to pay for the, maybe I should have just had them at home and not paid anything. Well, no, that wouldn't have worked. No.

Imagine all the memories they'd form. Yes, yes, that's right. And, but I'm worried that if they spend a lot of time with me, they won't want to spend time with me anymore. Your character flaws, yeah. Isn't it better to just keep them, leave them wanting more like any good, it's like the office. If I spend just as, you know, six half hours per year, over two years and that's it. Yes.

And then return for a Christmas special. Yes. You'll be beloved. Then I think that's going to be good parenting. Yes. Yeah. People will say, they could as he stopped at his peak. Yes.

That's right. Anyway, Charles, today. Dominic is the, I think of Dad as the David Brent of our lives. Yes. Yeah, I think I've got the emotional insight and self-knowledge of David Brent. Absolutely. He's, um, what, is there something wrong with David Brent? David Brent? No, no, not at all, Dom. No, no, nothing at all.

It's just a good guy. Just a funny guy. Trying to make the world better through laughter, as we are. Dom, we thought that we needed to have a cracker story to return with. And I think we've done it. I think we've got one of the best stories of the year. I think it's going to be one of those, you know, 2026 wrapped stories that everyone's going to be remembering at the end of the year. Where were you when? Yes, where were you when you found out about this story? We'll get into it after this. That's quite a tease, Charles. So you didn't even say what the story was.

I thought I was banging out about, bang on about my children as a preamble to your big story. But no, we better get into it. You've got to deliver on the promise. But this is a very similar circumstance to you, this guy. So this is the story about a 44-year-old French civil servant. He's a father of two. He lived in France, right? Yes.

And he'd been going about... So this is back from 2000. 2007 this case actually comes from. So this is up to the moment news, right? But the story at least been viral again this year, so there you go. And it was published in The Lancet. It's a medical story in case you were wondering. So is it published in the Lancet this year or in 2007?

No, it was published in the Lancet in 2016. Right. But that's all right. Everyone's going to be so glad that we're back. How did you cope for two weeks without this and you? News source in your life. But to be fair, Dom, we actually did look around all the news and we went, oh, how depressing. We don't want to do any of that.

So we did actually try and do the news. I think the premise of this, yeah, the premise of this podcast is falling to pieces by the day, I think. Well, not when you've heard this story, because this is a crack of a story. Okay. So he was going about his business, going to work every day. Sure. And, but he started noticing that it was a bit sort of, well, his family actually started noticing that he was a bit non-communicative, right? Really?

But he'd always been, he'd always been slightly below average IQ, right? Sure. So he'd always sort of lend on the support of his family anyway. But he functioned fairly normally in society and he did actually support his family. Like he was the main breadwinner for this family. Sure. In France, winning bread is very important. Yes, exactly.

He brought home the baguettes for his family. Anyway, so they, I'm not sure what actually, there'd been a bit of a fluid build-up in his brain, and he'd sort of suffered at the age of 14. So there'd been a history of something. That's right. And so he went and visited the doctor because he went, look, my left legs feeling a bit weak.

Right. And the doctor went, okay, well, that's interesting. maybe we should do, you know, he did a bit of tests on the legs and say, ah, don't quite know what's going on here. Why don't we just do a bit of a CT scan and maybe an MRI of your brain and see if it's related to your brain? Because you had this thing when you were 14, where you had a bit of fluid build up on your brain.

Maybe it's related to that, right? So they did the scan and they discovered that 90% of his brain disappeared, had gone. There was no, he was missing 90% of his brain. brain. 90% of his brain. He had severe chronic hydrocephalus, which means it was like, it triveled? No, I think it was just water.

Was one of RFK Junior's brainworms in there just going about its dastardly business? No, it was just like, it was just a massive fluid-filled chamber and only a thin sheet of actual brain tissue that was against his skull, right? So it's mainly just, okay. Yeah. Had it gone? So I just want to know, was it, did he have an unusually tiny brain? or had it, he previously had a scan where it was all there and then in this case it had all sort of

diminished somehow? Do we know that it, was it 90% smaller than average or was it 90% smaller than his brain had been before? Is what I'm wondering. Well, I think they're saying that, yeah, like ever since the age of 14, he hadn't really had a brain. And what they're saying is actually what it shows is the amazing ability of the brain to adapt to and learn how to sort of know.

But the point is, what I'm saying is, doesn't this explain modern politics quite well? Don't you think what's actually going on is, you know how you go and you go, oh, that person's a bit of an idiot? I wonder why they're running the country. And you go, oh, actually, they just don't have a brain. Like, it's entirely possible. There's a mess. Like, why is Paul Enhanson leading in the polls?

Well, maybe it's because everyone's got hydrocephalysis or whatever it's called, and they don't have any brains. But hang on, but is the point, Charles? Because our entire lives we've been using the term brainless as an insult. We've been saying, oh, that person's got no brain. Oh, what happened to your brain? Whereas in fact, doesn't this story prove the opposite? Yeah, you don't need that. And like, poo bear, wouldn't you the poo was a bearer of very little brain?

Yes. But apparently, that's no different from a regular bear. I mean, maybe slightly less intelligent, but nevertheless, brainless is not the epithet at once was. I think that's just means within normal variation. I think this is good news for anyone starting the HSC or VTE today because that's that all kicked off today. And everyone says, I like it to include people from Victoria and New South Wales there, Charles.

Yeah, thank you. But nobody else. Yeah, no one else. Yeah. Oh, do other states have those exams as well? I just thought it was only New South Wales. What other states? Oh, isn't there?

There's one north of us, isn't there? Email a podcast at chaser.com. that are you to let us know what happens in places that aren't Victoria in New South Wales. Because frankly, we honestly don't know what they. They probably do some sort of international bacclorate style thing, but for the HSC. So you can go to school. In Queensland, I'm sure you can. Is it a trial by farming?

Yeah, it would be some sort of. Do you have to farm your way into university? Or bribe your way? I don't know. What's the cliche about Queensland now? Actually, that's true. That might be out of date. Yeah, as I was saying farming, I thought, that doesn't quite really ring true anymore, is it?

No. Property developed your way into... Yes, yes, that's it. That's it. To get in a university, you've got a constructed dubious, a dubious condominium proposal and the most terrible one you get into law. But there you go. I mean, that's like Queensland for a long time had a premiere that didn't have a brain. See, this is the whole thing is, I don't think that, I think we've been over-emphasising the whole, you know, like if you're struggling with the HECC, it's not because society.

Oh, right, it's not your fault. It's not your fault. It's society has this whole bigoted preference towards people who have brains. And maybe you just don't have one. It's bigoted. And so neurodiversity, which they're more sensitive to these days, can include extreme neurotivate, like sort of neural absence. Neuro absence. Yeah.

Neuroaportity. Neuriportative. I just love the idea that you can get through life without a brain. I just love it. And does this then mean sort of neuroplasticity? If you do the right thing, your little stub brain can encope reasonably? Yeah, it's good stuff. Presumably you wouldn't be as anxious, would you?

Because you wouldn't have your brain. Like, you know how you wake up at night and you worry about things? Oh, I wouldn't have a brain. Part of my brain. I'd love to excise that entire thing. Well, I think that's what frontal lobotomies were all about, wasn't it? Oh. It's about getting rid of all the sort of inner monies.

troublesome parts. Oh, yeah, get rid of the inner monologue. Wouldn't that be a lovely thing? During COVID, I mean, all the doom scrolling. But then, Charles, we now know better. We now know, thanks to neuroplasticity, the brain's just going to pop up with a stress cortex somewhere else. Oh, yeah.

And you know what they're saying increasingly, Charles, is that your brain's in your guts anyway. So you need to remove your stomach as well. Well, that's good. And he also particularly French stereotype. Yes. Particular French stereotype, isn't it? that he's probably his brains had moved down to the sort of cheese center of the of lestomuck.

The Chaser Report, news a few days after it happens. I just think this is, this is a not, like, I feel like we're too much focused on progress. And we're not getting any happier. Like all these data centers, have you seen the statistics about the data center build out? It's basically two and a half times the size of the railroad. build out in the US that happened 100 years ago, 150 years ago. Someone told, said to me, this is the biggest infrastructure kind of boom in history. Yeah, it's like 3.3% of national GDP in the US.

And the dot-com boom, the fibre buildout was like 1.1%. So this is triple the size of the dot-com boom in terms of infrastructure build-out. And you're just going, isn't it, nobody thinks it's going to lead to happiness. Nobody thinks that this is a good thing. I mean, and I'm sure a lot of it's because the people in charge are absolute cockheads who are essentially low-level fascists who believe in the end times and, you know, that Armageddon is a good thing on balance. But I think it's also the, this whole progress thing,

I think it's been shown to be a bit of a, like, we were all happier before we had doom scrolling. We're all happy when we were toddlers. We're all happy when we were toddlers. This is the thing I observed watching, well, or my four-year-old, actually. Yes. That's a great age. She always has a smile on her face.

She's happy because she doesn't know not to be. She doesn't have to work. No. You know, it's just all fun. Yeah. So. Charles, I must say, I'm looking at this scan, which was published in the Lancet in 2007. So we're really cutting edge here.

It is pretty amazing. It's basically an empty vessel. It's an empty vessel. It's just nothing there. Yeah. Hydrocephalus. See, he doesn't feel the need to endless scroll Instagram.

No, it actually probably that's what caused it. It's perfectly socially adept, apparently. Yeah. Normal life. He works.

Yeah, like, there was no problem. His person's not bright. He didn't go, he didn't go, he didn't go to the doctor because he thought, oh, wow, I think I might be missing 90% of my brain. He went to the doctor

because he had a problem with his leg. And it just led to the diagnosis. This is a medical miracle. So what you're telling me is that if I removed 90% of my brain, I'd be probably just as happy and maybe less worried. I mean, where do I sign? Well, I think this is where the Chaser has a whole new business layout for it,

which is I think we should start offering lobotomies. Sure. Which does presuppose, Charles, I should point out, this does presuppose that I have a working brain because how would I know? What if my head skull is full of a void? Have you ever had your brain scanned? It's entirely possible that most people I interact with. Yeah, I've never had my brain scanned.

But like, it's entirely possible that everyone we interact with in our daily lives just doesn't have 90% of their brain. That's what this study shows. It's possible that maybe people who've gone into comedy. Like, maybe people who've made strange choices. I think it's probable. Yeah. Especially amongst the listeners of this podcast. That's true.

If you made it this far in this, even by our standards, unresearched and rambling episode, you probably, I think even if you had an intact brain at the start of this episode, you probably, I think even if you had an intact brain at the start of this episode. So by this point, it's just a yawning void in your head. And I think the association with comedy, by the way, there are some comedians who've been quite active in the media landscape recently who are not challenging that concept. It's fair to say. Do you think that's what's happened to Husey? That's what's happened. He's just lost 90% of his brain.

I mean, if that's the name that comes to mind for you, Charles, I wouldn't want to say anything because I wouldn't want to be. I think you're allowed to say Huisys. He's got a tendency to attack people. I just love the detail. He's not one of his firehows of outrage directed at you, do you? He pissed in a schooner glass, and his excuse was, he was backstage and he needed somebody to peace.

Yeah, yeah. And he pissed in a schooner glass. Was that elbow's fault? Went around. And his excuse for it was, you're piss in one schooner glass and suddenly you're the guy who pisses in schooner glasses. Yes. I mean, one scan says that you only have 10% of normal brain capacity.

It's suddenly the guy with no brain. You know that I think it is actually defamatory to call someone like brainless? Like I think, yeah, because we actually tried to do that on a front cover of the chaser ones. And the lawyer said, oh, you can't tell, you cannot say that somebody doesn't have a brain. But truth's the defense. What if they do? Charles, to win the court case, they would need to go. Undergo a scan.

Yes, they would. Yeah. And if you'd just happen, if you'd call this guy brainless, and by the way, his name hasn't been given, If you'd call him brainless and you'd say, well, prove you have one. Yeah. Best defamation victory ever. Imagine the egg on his face. I won a cork case against a guy who didn't have most of his brain.

Yeah, a guy who, frankly, he's functioning. The fact that he functions at all as a medical miracle. And we've managed to, I mean, it's probably quite awkward. It's like the eggshell skull rule where if you injure someone who's got an unusually sensitive skull and you hurt them very badly, It's actually your fault. Maybe that's what he happened. He had an eggshell skull and it sort of leaked away. Do you think it would change the family dynamics?

Because I reckon I would use that as an excuse for not doing things. Like if I discovered that I didn't have 90% of my brain, it'd be like, guys, can you clear up the mess tonight and put everything in the dishwasher because I don't have a brain? I mean, assuming it's not hereditary. Oh, yeah, that's true. Yeah, we'll just scan the kids' brains as well. Although, Charles, if you only had an IKEA of 84, would you know what hereditary even meant?

Who knows? I don't know. All right. I'm racking whatever percentage of brain I have. And I honestly think we've reached the end of the road on this one, Charles. I think the well is dry. I think the capacity, we've used up the 10% that we have. Do you think I oversold it in the intro?

It's just possible. There's a lot of news around. Yeah, maybe we should do a news one. Why don't we do a news one next? We'll do a news. Tomorrow we'll do it. news story. I've just read that Donald Trump unilaterally declared a ceasefire between Ukraine and Russia. So I think that's worth a bit of investigation. No. No, the man with a brain from 20 years ago is more

topical. I mean, it's aged like fine wine, isn't it? Or like cerebral spinal fluid that's had not much to do but slosh around. Can we just end this podcast? Let's just end it. See ya. Aren't you glad we're back? Call this a warm up.