The Chaser Report - Oh Chaplain My Chaplain! | Angelo Gavrielatos

Episode Date: September 1, 2021

Angelo Gavrielatos, NSW Teachers Federation president, joins us to examine a curious Coalition plan to hire chaplains to ease school kids’ fears about climate change. Also, Dom finds some allegedly good news on the lockdowns, Charles sells his AACTAs vote, and we play Fridge or No Fridge. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode of The Chaser Report is sponsored by Scott Morrison's Words of the Wisdom. You've got to have a go to get a go. Too bad we'll never let you have a go. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chaser Report. Hello and welcome the Chaser Report for Thursday the 2nd of September. night, Charles Firth and Gabby Bolt. I'm in a good mood. Isn't it a great day?

What? Yay. Why? I feel upbeat. I feel positive about the pandemic. I finally feel things are going to be okay. Okay. This is, this is, um, there's something wrong.

I can back this up. Should we send help or something to Dom? It's getting warmer. It's too late for that. It's getting warmer. And we know that's good for the pandemic. And numbers are down twice in a row. What?

That means it's a trend. So on the 31st, it was 1168. Yesterday, uh, 1100. We're only in the low 1100s now. It's fantastic. It's barely there. Yeah. And to think it only took Melbourne three months to get down from 700.

It's going to be fine, Gabby. Just bear with it. Also, Scott Morrison came out yesterday and said, you know, flights are going to come back and I reckon we can do home quarantine. So we'll still have to do the two weeks. We can do it at home. That means that we'll be having this very experience over and over again for years to come. And we know we can, what's two weeks?

We've just done nine. It's going to be fine. indefinitely we'll get to do this Um Okay There's more There always is Gladys says

That by the time we get 70% double doses We're going to have all kinds of freedoms She's got Everything's going to be allowed We can dine out Have a drink at the pub Attend public events COVID will spread rampantly

In the meantime But we'll be able to get out of lockdown It's going to be fantastic I don't I can't believe you don't share my optimism That's just New South Wales What about Victoria Okay

In Victoria, admittedly, Dan Andrews said yesterday that numbers will only go up, that they can't control it. It's over. But he's reopening playgrounds on Friday. My brain has no thought. What's wrong? Gabby, just wait, because apparently October is going to be the worst month in New South Wales hospitals. Spooky season. So that's a little while to come.

But eventually, everything's going to be okay. Surely, Charles, you can see that it's going to be okay. Do you share, now that I've told you all these things. Yes, it's going to be all right. Yeah, look, I look within. Find the hope. Have the audacity of hope like Barack Obama, Charles. I think I can.

I can. You're right. I can. If I just don't think about what's happening at all and what will happen in the future, I can be happy. I'm going to be happy. It leads a lot of anger, though. I think maybe by suppressing the sadness, if you just get really angry, You can sort of make yourself get up in the morning.

I like it. This is a good way forward. I'm threatened. On today's show, expect this positive and hopeful tone to continue. As we talked to East Wales Teachers Federation and President Angela Gavriolatus about an interesting new plan involving chaplains in our schools. Yeah, that sounds good. That sounds very good.

Also, we're going to do fridge or no fridge. The quiz show that's hitting the pavements and... No, we're not allowed out. We're not allowed to do Frid or no fridge. But first of all, let's go to Rebecca Dandemino in the Chaser Newsroom. The federal government is considering sending more chaplains into public schools to solve the anxiety students are suffering due to climate change activism. When asked whether this was a genuine proposal,

Scott Morrison replied that yes, his government was genuinely that out of touch. Eddie McGuire has had a tantrum after not being allowed entry into Western Australia for the AFL Grand Final. This comes as a shock to the rich fuckwit, despite several years of him not being welcome in any other state. Craig Kelly has attempted to make friends in the worst way possible after sending a mass text message to 50% of the population. He did this after advice from Pete Evans suggested

that it could cure his need for attention. It has worked with many recipients replying with various iterations of no thanks, please stop and get fudge. That's the latest in news about rich entitled straight white men. I'm Rebecca Dayuna Muno. This episode of The Chaser Report is sponsored by Scott Morrison's Words of Wisdom. Numbers have to go up before they go down, which applies for case numbers and opinion models.

In the news headlines just now, we referred to quite a strange story out of Canberra. So a lot of school kids are worried about climate change. You've got the school, climate strikers, and the rest. What some coalition MPs have suggested is that the way to deal with that is to recruit a whole bunch of chaplains to counsel the children who have been made to worry about climate change by climate activists. This is genuinely a thing that's being proposed in Canberra. To comment, who better than the president of the New South Wales teaches,

Federation, Angelo Gavrialladis. Hi, Angelo, thanks for joining us. Hi, how are you? Oh, I'm so excited because I just think that the chaplains that the coalition's going to fund in every school are just going to sort out. They're the professionals on the job. Are they not? You know, this is absolutely next level, incredible madness.

Absolutely next level. Wait, wait, wait, can I just, you know, I don't know anything about this story. What is going on? There's several steps in it. So the first thing you've got to, let's just look at the global warming aspect. What's your understanding of that, Angelo? So the thing that kids in our schools are worried about is not the pandemic. It's climate change.

Well, apparently, according to the report in yesterday's Guardian, the Liberal Party caucus in Canberra considered that the psychological impact that climate activism is having on children is so great that we need more chaplains in schools. So the climate strike, the kids that are doing the climate striking and all that, the only way to stop that is to get the chaplains on it. Well, that would appear to be the case and the argument emanating out of the Federal Liberal Party. As I said, this is absolutely next level. I don't know what's happening.

It's beyond us. This whole program, from the point of inception, under John Howard, was one of the most ill-advised programs imaginable. We've now taken it to the next level where chaplains will now be dealing with stress. Which they're, of course, trained and qualified to do to give mental health counselling to our children. It's extraordinary, isn't it? We've got serious mental health issues amongst young people. We have a serious shortage of trained qualified school counsellors. And the Liberal Party in Canberra wants to increase chaplains

to address mental health, stress caused by climate activism. There are so many threads to this. The thing that I can't believe about this is that if they were to do this, you would have chaplains in schools actually telling kids that climate change was not a problem and not to stress about it. So in other words, pushing the far-right aspect of the government, like the Barnaby Joyce line put forward in school as propaganda by chaplains. Is that right?

Is that what they're suggesting? This is, well, this is the conservative religious right at work. The only term I can find within the encyclopedia of political science to describe it is bat-shit crazy. Wait a minute, can I just suggest a better way to solve concern about climate change? and people are anxious about that is to solve climate change itself. Oh, no, you're being irrational. You're being irrational.

You need to see a chaplain. I'll tell you, though, if anyone can solve climate, it's pretty complicated. I reckon chaplains, people who've got religious training from a theological college, they're the ones you send out to fix climate. They can do anything.

I've got nothing. I'm sorry, guys, I've got nothing. I can do education policy. I can't do this. I've got nothing. Because when my wife told me about this, story this morning. I actually misunderstood it. I thought they were sending Charlie Chaplains into the school. That would be more helpful. It would sort of make everyone less stress because

that would make you mess less stress because you'd be all happy because you'd be watching a mime artist. But this doesn't make any sense. These are religious chaplains. This is sort of they're the same people who George Pell runs, isn't it? I mean, this is no, why are they in schools anyway. I mean, isn't there separation between church and state in state schools? There's so many steps of this, I don't guess. Look, it's well beyond me. As I said, we've been

dealing with this ill-conceived policy since John Howard. Yesterday, it was taken to another level because they found the solution to climate change activism at the same time as expanding the reach of chaplains in schools. So I want to get

on to the actual impact of mental health and how teachers and their students to suffer. through this, because I'm sure that they are considerably, and I really want to get your thoughts on that from a more serious perspective. But the detail of this is quite extraordinary. So just to outline it in more detail. So the idea is that all this stress about potential annihilation is unfounded and that you need deprogramming so that they don't believe climate change is a real problem. I mean, there's just so many aspects to this that are bizarre. Dominic, I can't do this. I can't offer you any rational explanation because there is

none. But what I do know, and at the risk of being serious just for a moment, our kids are suffering. Our kids are suffering. How could they not be? And this is what we get out of Canberra? Is this what we get? When we've got instances of kids waiting four weeks, six weeks and months to see an expert, this is mad. This is mad. It's an indictment on all of them, on all I should point out that Scott Morrison's response was, well, that's an interesting suggestion, so I'm not sure it's going to happen. But he also noted that the annual funding was made permanent before the last election. So I didn't realize this thing is now with us on an ongoing basis.

Can I ask how it works in schools? So traditionally, as you said, Angela, you'd have counsellors who'd be coming in and actually have the training and expertise to deal with this stuff as mental health professionals and so on. How does the chaplain fit with that situation? I mean, are people getting religious help for what should be mental health concerns at the moment? Well, we're very concerned about the role they're playing because there's many instances of even overstepping the mark that they've established for themselves

in terms of proselytizing. They're telling us that these chaplains aren't allowed to proselytize. Well, what do they do? What do they do? Because that's what they do by definition. We've got to scrap it. Just get rid of it. Our schools are crying out for specialists, to train school counselors.

we need expert help. And this is what we get. Chaplains to solve climate activism, angst. It feels like a chaser article. It really is a chaser article. I don't know. I don't get it. I don't get it.

All right. Can we talk about what's actually happening on the ground? Because it does actually acknowledge that MP Andrew Wallace, who we're talking about this, also mentioned the shadow pandemic. And this is the reality, the mental health pandemic that's going on in our schools. The challenging roadmap to know everything's going to reopen. what are we doing, well, what are we doing badly and when do you think the school should reopen?

When it's safe to do so. When it's safe to do so. We've said right from the beginning of this pandemic since last year and certainly since the second wave that we respect and acknowledge the science. What we want is a consistent application of all health advice, restrictions and the like across all settings, including schools. What we've seen is too many political overlays

during the course of this second wave that is undermining confidence in elected leaders as a result of such. We want our kids back. We want them back yesterday. We know how important that playground is as well as the classroom is. We know how important is. But that's got to happen when it's safe for them to do so. What commentators, many of them ignore, is that for each case that we have on a school, and we've had more than 80 in public schools in the last eight or nine weeks, and add to that another 40 or 50 in private schools. For each case on a school, that impacts hundreds of others who are thereafter deemed as close contacts

who are in isolation for 14 days. This delta strain is highly contagious, highly transmissible, and that age group of under 19 is overrepresented in it. Yes, but Angelo, can I just put to you a different perspective, which is I've got two kids. They're both at home having to do.

their school and I'm completely sick of them. So what if we don't follow the science? Let's not worry about the evidence. Why don't we just put them back and let the teachers deal with them again? I think that would be a better

solution. I think everyone, I think all parents would agree that that is the way for Angela. Thanks for that. We'll take that on board and we'll consider this appropriate consultation with stakeholders in in relation to the road map. But you know what we should do?

Don't put them in front of the teachers. Just give them to the chaplains and get all the people infected. Then we solve two birds, one stone. Well, I was just thinking, wouldn't it be great if you get the chaplains trained to deliver vaccinations? That's not that hard to do, apparently. You get them doing the lollipop jitty out the front of the school. The problem is, I don't think you would ever be safe to put kids alone with a chaplain, though.

Yeah, that has had problems in the past. I mean, I'm just wondering whether Scott Morrison was seeking the counsel of his own chaplain on this matter. And then I remembered that one of his chaplains was Brian Houston. Yeah, he's otherwise engaged. I think he's got a bit on his play at that bloke at the moment. It's quite a bizarre situation. Your members must be feeling pretty awful about this. What's the feeling about the vaccination for teachers?

Are we getting anywhere with that? Well, again, again, you know, I've been like a broken record for two weeks. I'm sick of hearing myself calling to the prioritisation of teachers as part of the vaccination rollout. Every day we're told how important schools are, you know, as if we need lecturing about to be told how important schools are, important society at large and kids importantly and also the first households who wants to get their kids back to school. We get all that. We get all that. And as part of that, we also understand that vaccinations are important component to get us out of the pandemic. Why the hell, with two weeks to go, have teachers not been prioritised?

why the hell, with two weeks to go before the school holidays, do we still have too many cases of people being denied access? You know, they've announced there's going to be a focus at Kudos Arena next week or thereabouts for vaccinations. Not everyone lives in the shadows of Kudos Arena. You know, our people around the state are having major problems with respect to access. Whilst we've continued to call to the prioritisation, of course, we've been encouraging teachers to avail themselves of vaccination, following consultation

with their GPs, of course, and we'll continue to do that. I'm sure that all the teachers in New South Wales will get vaccinated just as soon as we've done the chaplains. A chaplain-led recovery. It's an extraordinary moment in education policy, Angelo. Thank you so much for joining us to talk about it. An historic moment, an historic moment, marked this day. Mark this day, climate change, angst addressed.

Next topic. This episode. The Chaser Report is sponsored by Scott Morrison's Words of Wisdom. We get there, when we get there, when do we get there, when we get there, when we get there, when we get there. A bit of a special treat as we play Fridge or No Fringe. I have been given little to no explanation as to what this means. Dom, do you know what this game works? Oh yes, we used to this on radio where,

The game is, does the thing go in the fridge or not going the fridge? And it's a little bit trivial and irrelevant before. But now that we are all at home all the time, this is literally the most interesting dilemma any of us have at any point in time. Right. This is the best quiz show. I don't understand whether they do, you know, deal or no deal or whatever they've got at the moment, the chase or whatever.

This is a far better quiz show than any of those stupid ones. Okay, so first of all, so it's very easy. Or I will read out an item and you just have to tell me whether it's fridge, or no fridge. All right. Okay, first one, bread. Gabby, what do you think? Freezer.

What? Freezer. Do you not put your bread in the freezer? I'm a no fridge. Oh, fuck you, Gabby. Fuck you. That is completely correct. Yes.

Oh, I was no fridge. I'm sorry, am I supposed to be answering in a funny way or in a serious way? No, that's the weird thing. Yeah, no, this is correct. You know, well done. That is why, Gabby, this segment sometimes has its validity as part of a comedy program question. because it's actually simply a helpful household advice segment.

But that's okay. We've got room for that. I started you off with an easy one. I'll ramp up the next time I come to you. It meant to be genuinely perplexing. Yeah, okay. Next one, Dom. Yeah.

Salami. Oh, get pretty stinky out of the fridge. I'm saying fridge. You are incorrect. What? So the best way to store any cured meat is by hanging it in a cool ventilated place that is 10 to 15. degrees. Not a fridge.

Who has one of those? The answer is fridge or no fridge. Not mythical third-party environment like in a curing suite. Who has a curing suite in their house, Charles? Do you? Well, the main thing is that if you take the skin... You know how you can take the skin off the salami? Yeah.

No. It's when even if you store it in the fridge, it will instantly go bad. You've got to keep the skin on. That's the thing that keeps it from going bad. And that, I would say, is from a very respected website. called TheField.com.com. Now, it should just note, the field cannot be held responsible and accept any legal responsibility for grants as given in these columns.

That's very helpful. I'm glad you're here. Great. Okay, next one. Bridge or no fridge? Ripe bananas. I, no fridge. What?

No fridge. Incorrect. What do you mean? See, the whole thing is. Because I just get great. No, so the thing is that, yeah, sure, when you put them in the fridge, they go brown. But they actually don't ripen anymore.

The fridge stops the ripening process. And actually, you can store them for up to two weeks in a fridge, and they'll be just like when you put them in there. I just feel like this segment would work better for me if I trusted the person who was making the pronouncements. I often let them go kind of bad in a fruit bowl, and then you use them in banana bread. Yes, that's true.

Yes, you let them die and then use them in bananas. Because the thing is, I never actually like fucking fruit. I like cake. I've got a 13-year-old boy, and so no matter how many bananas we have in the house, by the end of the day, we have no bananas. So this one should be fridge-no-fridge or turn inevitably into cake. Yeah. It's right.

Okay, next question. Dom. Hmm. Chocolate. See, it lasts longer in the fridge, but I hate it when you take it out and it's all hard and cold. So I'm going on, let's just a Mars bar. I want to see it out of the fridge. You are correct.

That is correct. In fact, a chef quoted by news.com.com. Your name was Luke, says that chocolate should only ever be put in the fridge if the temperature inside the home reaches above 28 degrees. Wow. So all of Australia in spring and summer. No, no. So when it gets melted.

Where do you live? Do you live in a tin shack, do you? No, but like, I'm fine. with cold chocolate. I like the struggle. I've never been to a dentist in my life. And so I like flexing on everybody else that I can just chomp that shit straight out of the fridge.

Well, you're totally wrong. Yeah. In fact, I'll fight you on that. I'm going to take five points off of you for that opinion. Okay, next question, Gabby. Pure maple syrup. Frid your no fridge. I've never bought that.

What? You've never bought? My wife's Canadian, so we always have some. See, that's what she's in a 20. She hasn't learned the luxury item. Not pure maple syrup. I've probably bought like the shitty golden circle shit, which we keep in the cupboard out of the fridge.

Incorrect. Wrong. What? So believe it or not, it says, this is CNN.com again, pure maple syrup can and will spoil. Isn't that amazing? It has no preservatives and when stored at room temperature

can develop mould on the surface. Hmm. Charles, have you got any more marginally interesting household tips? Okay. Okay, this is a good one. This is one, I'll open this up to both of you. This can be the tiebreaker. So, tomato sauce.

Fridge. Cubbered. Fridge. Not fridge. Gabby is correct. Gabby's the winner! It says, okay. And this is from a very respectable source.

The New York Times, soy, ketchup, chili sauce and mustard can live in the cupboard even if they say fridge after opening. They are so packed with preservative ingredients that fridging is pointless. There's not bad. It's not a bad. I store barbecue and tomato sauce in the cupboard, but everything else, fridge. Well, see, don't you think that was an excellent quiz? And you want to come back next week as the carryover champ?

I can see why this was cut from the original lineup of the show. This episode of The Chase Report is sponsored by Scott Morrison's Words of Wisdom. It's always in the last place you look Unless you're looking for me in Hawaii Which is the first place you should look Now before we go I've got some good news guys I have been accepted

To be an accredited member of actor God who made that decision I know which is that's like the Australian Academy Of Cinema Television Arts Hang on a set Basically I'm a member of the Academy You've only been involved in one of those three things Not cinema

And not art television I'll give you. I go to the cinema all the time before the pandemic. Were you? Yeah, and I watched TV. What were you in in the cinema? No, no, like, watch it. Oh, that's what it is.

You are a participant. No, but the point is, as a crafts member, and let's just say, Academy member. You're going to be such a wanker now, aren't you? One of the good things that I get to do now is I get to vote in all the actor award. Cool. Sort of category. But hang on a sec. Isn't there a fact that you've finally been accepted, reflective of the absolute

dearth of production that's happened in Australia. Like, normally there's dozens of different TV productions going on, none of which we're involved with. But now, because nothing's happening, they've gone, who do we get first? Look, I admit it's a bit suspicious, but ever since they relocated to Nigeria, I think it's all very legitimate above board and they're going fine with their finances. In fact, they've got money that they can give back to me if I just pay them a little transfer It seems as plausible to me that you're becoming a member of the Nigerian Royal Family

as you being a member of any academy for film and television arts. No, I've been told I've got to keep that part secret. No, no, but it is true. I'm in the academy, which means that if you are, say, a movie producer or you make TV for a living or anything like that, the things which I am now open. Can we just be clear? Charles is neither of those things. But anyway, Charles Firth is now open for business when it comes to.

corruptly buying my vote. The actor of war. Dear Academy, Charles Firth is now no longer remember having offered to sell his phone. One second after joining. But you know how in Hollywood, the for-your consideration campaigns are ridiculous, right? They give people things like, you know, Mercedes cars. Yeah. Or three billboards across L.A., New York and somewhere else for Ratatusical for your

consideration for the Emmys, and then we didn't even get nominated. For you, Charles, like the people behind Rosehaven will give you, Like one fun size little pack of hummus if you vote for them. Well, I'm saying, I mean, that's where the bidding's opening, but where does it end? Yeah, I was going to say, you know, what's really funny about the idea of Charles being bribed is that you wouldn't even have to pay much. Like, Charles can be bribed by a box of cookies. Oh, boxers. I like that idea.

There you go. Let's see. That's a good thought. So now all we have to do, Dom, is become actor award winners. We just make a shitty web series, call it a TV show. And then we give Charles a box of cookies and boom, actor award winning writers. I mean, arguably, some of us. did work on TV shows that won those awards

before they were called when they were called A-Fi Awards. But anyway, that's not close. Sorry. I guess the thing is what you want to do, the way to get Charles's vote is just to simply listen to him pitch his ideas. That would be the greatest present of all. If any producers are out there who want to hear my idea for a sitcom set in a sitcom set. I've got a great idea for an award-winning TV show, Gabby.

Do you want to be involved in writing it? It's about a failed television producer who, tries to sell his vote for the industry awards, I think it'll win some actor awards. Yeah. I know, a really good idea for the lead actor in that one. Yeah, go on. Colin Fiels. Yeah, great.

We should just make our own award show. I mean, what's stopping us? What we have to have is like a couple of really nicely made trophies and we can just throw an event when COVID's over? And then we get all the corrupt things because we control the whole process. I like it. Then we just make an award show. I reckon, I reckon the gold chaser could go to, you'd be a bit. for excellence in the field of mediocrity.

Like the Razis. I actually in all seriousness, I think we've accidentally hit on a really good idea, which we should actually do. Yeah. We're going to do it. And we can hold it as a live event because they're really easy to organise at the moment. Yeah, we'll just do it on Zoom. Yeah.

And then... All the glitz and glamour of the Logies except on Zoom. The one event that's less prestigious than the Logies. I love it. I'll organise the cocaine. Great. And we'll get going. Awesome.

Our gear is from Charles Adela. I mean, our gear is from Rhodes microphones. we're part of the ACAST, Creator Network. Catch you tomorrow. Bye. See ya.