The Chaser Report - One Nation Under Odd

Episode Date: February 13, 2025

Trump has a plan to become President for life, and Charles is ready to blow the lid on it. Meanwhile, Dom tried to tell Charles about big news between Russia and Ukraine, and you'll hear how that went.Watch OPTICS on ABC iview here:https://iview.abc.net.au/show/opticsCheck out more Chaser headlines here:https://www.instagram.com/chaserwar/?hl=enFind hot singles in your area:https://chaser.com.au/support/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Chaser Report is recorded on Gadigal Land. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chaser Report. Hello and welcome to The Chaser Report with Dom and Charles. Charles, before we go into this, can I just say what an extraordinary chameleon you are? I've been watching optics in your new series on ABC TV. And the extent to which you inhabit your character of Ian Randall, it's a different voice, it's a different personality. Yeah, it's like a ure version of you. I just wanted to see, as we're trying to work out what to talk about today,

do you think you can you improvise a whole podcast in the voice of Ian Randall? Because it's a different character. It'd be very hard, wouldn't it? It's just so adamant. Yes. Because it's an even, it really is. It's like you times 100% extra. And I didn't know you even had that gear.

It's like overdrive. You think about how to do that while we take some ads and then discuss the potential topics. Yes. So I'll be quite straight with you. Dom, I literally have not been keeping up with the news. That's not how Ian Randor would say it. Anyway, no, you're not across the news. Yeah, I have spent the last couple of days in rehearsals and I literally, I don't know

anything's going on in the world. So I think you're going to just have to, I suppose it's good for the listeners. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot's happening. So probably the major world news right now, I mean, is peace in our time. Charles, peace in our time. Oh, yeah. Donald Trump is about to fix Ukraine.

It's been described as an invitation to Vladimir Putin to come in from the cold. And Donald Trump said some very positive things about Vladimir Putin. He said he portrayed, he had a phone call and portrayed him as a man who wants peace and who has common sense. He said he had a lengthy and highly productive phone call with Vladimir Putin and talked about the strength of the nations and have the great benefits that have in working together. So are you proposing that we try and get a whole episode out of peace in Ukraine? Yes, it's a huge story. Hundreds of thousands of people have died in the conflict. I mean, Donald Trump said it was millions of deaths, but it is hundreds of thousands of deaths.

And this is a major landmark. This is going to be when peace breaks out in Ukraine, which I'm very certain will be achieved by Ukraine having to give up much of their territory to Russia, which is what Russia wanted all along. Yes. That will be a where were you when moment. saying that's not fitting of this podcast? I'm just saying it's a little boring. I think we can probably find something

slightly more. It's one of the biggest conflicts of this century. Okay, well good on them, keep going good work. Can we find something just something with a little bit more pizzazz, more, I don't know, I've been working hard all day. I've had to work six hours today.

Oh my goodness, poor thing. I'm exhausted. Okay, so Elon Musk has been in the White House. He brought his son X there. X? Yep. What? He's called his son.

Yeah. His son's like X, A, 12. Oh, that one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he's an X for short. Yes. Imagine being named after that social network. How embarrassing.

You can see this picture. I've got a picture here for you of X riding on Elon's shoulders. Is X a woman or a man? No, X is a boy at this stage. I think if X chooses not to be a boy, X will be his own. He'll be an X son. He'll be an X, X. Yeah.

And the great news is that they're opposing corruption, Charles. Musk and Donald Trump are stopping corruption. And is that by appointing Elon Musk's son to, as corruptions are? Quite possibly. No, it's wonderful news. He and Elon Musk, they're boasting that they've already saved billions and billions of dollars by ending corrupt spending. Yes.

And one of the things that they're doing, which in their fight against corruption, Charles, is dismantling the Consumer Finance Protection Bureau in the US, which will open the way for Elon Musk to turn X, his social media app, into a payment system, which is his long-term dream. And it tells us, it's important to note, this is an end to corruption. End to corruption. This is stopping corruption.

By ending all this safeguards on corrupt behaviour by corporations. Yeah, I mean, I'm just spitballing. Well, I suppose the point is, if you make corruption not illegal, then you are ending corruption. No, no. By definition, corruption is something you do

that is bad and you shouldn't do but if it's a complete free-for-all then it's not corrupt one person's corruption is another person's good business opportunity yeah government efficiency so it's important to note the Department of Government Efficiency

it doesn't just sack lots of people in stuff like international charities or Department of Education now the USAID program doesn't just save money by axing those jobs it also makes things more efficient by outsourcing the private sector, for instance, Elon Musk and Elon Musk and just making it more efficient for Elon Musk to get

approvals for, I don't know, anything he wants to do with space or internet or electric cars, really anything he wants to do. If no one's saying no, Charles, that's a more efficient system. At this point, it does feel like my prediction that Elon Musk will be in jail in four years time is probably not true, mainly because I have a feeling Elon Musk might own all the jails in four years time. Well, he might just sack all the jailers. I mean, those are federal jobs in the federal prison system. What if an AI or a robot, or indeed, the X app, couldn't the app sort of automate jails?

Yeah, or trials? Or X, the little son. Yeah, the four-year-old. Yeah, look, I must say Donald Trump's going in and changing the Department of Justice as well. Yes. And I think that's a place where AI could really, I mean, GROC, Elon Musk's AI, could just simplify. the federal judicial system in the U.S., instead of a judge, you just

have got, you just press a button and go, what do you reckon? Yeah. A jury of Elon's peer could be used there. And I think my favourite Donald Trump story, because we're just talking about Donald Trump news, my favourite, oh, do you want to talk more about this? Well, no, no, I've got a theory about

Donald Trump and his judges. Can I bring it up now? Yeah, I think I should take some ads. I'm just going to try again to get you to ruin the voice of Ian Rannel. I'm very disappointed The lack of community. Oh, okay, I'll do that. Right, right.

Go. The Chaser Report. News you can't trust. Now, Dom, what are you talking about? Like, I've got some very serious things. I don't know how to do, Rand. It's just more. It's just more.

It's just more. It's firthier than Firth. Ah, fuck. Dom. That's it. Gone. That's basically it. Oh, the girls. Dom.

Yeah. No, it is, it is, it is a distinct character. To do you credit, it is a version of yourself, which is, I think, all that any of us can really do and react it. I've got emotional range, Dom. I've got range. You actually do. You were quite pitiful. I go from pitiful to very pitiful.

That's my range. Pitiful to pitiable, to pitiless. To just a general pity, really. But I got a really good theory about Donald Trump of the courts, right? So one of the things that he's proposed is that all the – an end to birthright citizenship, right? Yes, that's right. He signed an executive order saying no longer can you – just because you're born in the US means you're a citizen right. The one rub on that is there is literally a clause in the Constitution, which was done just shortly after the Civil War, which –

Whenever it was, it specifically says anyone born in the United States as a citizen. If you are born in the... Yeah, exactly. So it is a direct... It's just like the opposite of what the Constitution says, right? And the courts have so far gone... Okay, hang on, you can't do that. And it's making its way up to the Supreme Court.

And the Supreme Court is going to have to go, hang on, that's against the Constitution right. Well, they don't have to do that. Why do they have to do that? Well, it's sort of so obvious that they have to do it. So the judge in the lower court, Charles, said it was blatantly unconstitutional. Yes. The order that Trump's team made. But you're just suggesting that

Supreme Court's going to actually be consistent with the Constitution and with the law. I see no sign that they're going to have to do that. But let's say that they are. No, but it plays out like that. Like, I think the court has to have a fig leaf of separation. And I think Trump's not expecting. He's actually banking on the fact that the Supreme Court

will have to go, okay, gone too far this time, Trump. At which point, Trump will say, okay, we need. need constitutional reform in this country. We need to tear up that amendment because this very popular idea that we should fuck on immigrants needs to be made constitutional, right? So at that point, or non-immigrants really, but just like fuck on people who have just arrived here and have been born here, but, you know, we want to do that. That will be very popular and he'll use that as a platform to then roll out a whole of other constitutional things. Hmm, like, oh, what's that one in the Constitution about only having two terms.

Oh, it'll be like, oh, why don't we're at it, while we're doing a bit of Constitution work, why don't we also just get rid of that pesky little clause? And that's how he'll get up the President for Life thing. Because Donald Trump, I can tell you now, I reckon he's realised, just in the last few weeks, that being president is better than not being president, right? Because when he was not president, he got slapped with like four court cases. He got made into a felon. He had to defend himself the whole time.

And now he's not doing that much work. Like, he's just turning up and letting Elon Musk run the show. He's doing it at a pace that totally suits him. And he just wants to be there. Because if he's there, he can't be, you know, charged. No, he's a king. He's eventually, effectively a king. So, Charles, a couple of thoughts on that.

The first is that the process to change the U.S. Constitution is... quite complicated. So they need to get two-thirds of the House representatives and the Senate. Or, or you can just go around to the states and get all the states to do it. Now you've got to get both. So you've got to get three quarters of the states and both houses.

So that's effectively impossible unless the Republicans win so many seats. No, that's easy. Or... Yes. But Charles, the thing is that's if you follow the rules. And the point is that in the new Trump regime... Era, yeah. There isn't Trump golden era.

The rules simply don't matter anymore. And the example that's being used for this, and I've been reading about this, is the TikTok ban. So the Congress passed a law saying that the TikTok was banned in the United States, as of whenever it was, sometime shortly after Donald Trump took office in January. And Donald Trump issued an executive order that said, I'm not enforcing this law. And that was that. And that's not how it's supposed to work, right? Generally, if Congress passes a law, the president can't stop the law just by saying, yeah, we don't.

care about that. And that's why... Now, you can. It's completely worked. No one's prosecuting TikTok. TikTok still works in the United States. And so who knows? This is uncharted territory.

Is this what Trump might be able to do just by going, yeah, we don't care about that. So maybe he just says, well, we'll change the constitution and we just don't care about the, like, who's going to say you can't do that? I don't think anyone is. He's just going to do what he wants. So there's a theory going around that I heard yesterday on the Ezra Klein podcast. Have you been listening to reputable podcasts? I know, I know.

Ian Randall wouldn't do that. That the actual judgment of the Supreme Court is based on what, if John Roberts thinks, a law is good manners or not. Oh. You can actually charter. This is the Chief Justice. Yeah, far better by just going, if he sort of thinks, like, oh, it's a bit rude of Trump to pass a law that's exactly the opposite of the Constitution, it'll sort of get struck down. But if there's any sort of fig leaf, like, oh, it's a bit rude that everyone's trying to prosecute Trump for stuff that he's done.

Yeah. Well, that's a bit rude, you know, on the prosecutor's side. So actually, Trump has complete immunity as president forever. You know, you know, you know, so there's sort of a standoff at the moment where the courts have said to Trump's team, you can't, you know, go in and at least not all of you can go in and access all the payment records and all that. And that's just being gone. So who's going to enforce these rules? No, no, but the whole point is that if Trump then turns up at the Supreme Court,

court eventually. Because these are all being issued by federal courts, right? Like all these federal courts are saying, no, no, no, you can't do that. And the Trump turns up and says, well, the federal courts are being a bit rude. You see what I mean? That's when the Supreme Court goes, oh yeah, actually, you should do that. So that's all they've got to do with the

President for Life thing, is just frame it as well, it's a bit rude to make someone step down. Well, this is the point that, so the moment that the new Congress began, some minor congressman proposed exactly that change. to change the Constitution so that...

Oh, really? Oh, yeah, it's already on the table. What a suckle. What a fucking suckle. The change that's being proposed is that if your terms are non-contiguous, you can have... Yeah, right.

Like, if there's a break, as there was in Trump's case, then you can have two more years. Two more terms. Yeah. Yeah, right. Sorry, sorry. So yes, if there's a break as there was in Trump's case, you can have two terms.

So he could have... But it's not like you can be president for life. Right. Presumby that's the next step. But surely if you were bothering. Oh, would you just do... You bank that in first, and then... Is he really going to want to keep being president at the age of 86?

Probably. No, see, you've got to get into the psychology of people who are president, which is that they at some point have wanted to be president. It's very hard... Yeah, it's hard to imagine that. Yeah, because you're going, that would probably be more than six hours of work a day. And it would sort of be consistent with the diagnosis of megalomania. I think anyone who wants the president of United States.

It's the same psychology as being a billionaire, isn't it? The reason why there's no such thing as a well-adjusted billionaire is because all the well-adjusted millionaires stop before they become billionaires. Yeah, yeah, that's true. So what have we learned today? We've learned that Ukraine isn't interesting, but minor points of...

What was the news about Ukraine? Oh, you've forgotten already, yeah. But minor details to do with the US constitutional reform process. Fascinating. That's why this podcast is on the verge of 8 million downloads. That's sort of news judgment. I mean, just, you know, casting, like, it is true that Trump did call Putin, right, before he called Zelensky, right? So it's a lock, isn't it?

Like, there's no sort of, like, Ukraine doesn't get a say in this whole, what happens to Ukraine matter. The good news, I mean, if I'm going to predict it, the good news is that there will be peace in Ukraine, and the suffering of the Ukrainian people will probably come to an end. Oh, yeah? The bad news is that Ukraine will almost certainly have to give up the territory that is. the whole reason they kept fighting. Like, presumably years ago, they could have just given Putin the bits that he wants, the bits in the east that are Russian-speaking and so on.

So, you know, the Donbass, etc. So, yeah, it depends whether you view it as good news or bad news. Ukraine will lose the point of the war, but they'll at least have peace. But will they step down? Won't they just do... What actually happens is, even if Zelensky is made to sign a peace treaty,

there'll still be armed militias from Ukraine in their, you know, 20-something men who decide to sort of essentially act as terrorists against the Russian overlords and then Putin will use it as justification to invade in five years time. I think the main point, Charles, is that, and you should know this, as one of the creative forces behind optics. Yeah. What matters is having something you can define as a victory. So if you're Donald Trump And you say I'm putting a tariff on Canada and Mexico 25% immediately unless they get serious about the border

And they Canada and Mexico make minor announcements Of stuff they were already doing Oh yes, we're listening to you and then you go victory The tariffs have succeeded It's all about doing what you wanted to do And defining it as a victory It's about the press release It's about the press release

We should probably do that In publicising our podcast shouldn't we That's sort of actually, that is like literally, that's the sort of, I mean, there's a whole theory. Like Henry Kissinger had the whole might as right, you know, realpolitik framework of global foreign relations. Yeah, and that's not, that's out of date. The press release version of. Fix it in the press release. Yeah.

As long as you can frame it as a win, that's all you need to worry about. Okay. Well, I think I know how Albo can win the next election. It's pretty easy, just saying you already have. Press release. Yeah. Well, what happens if Peter Dutton then also issues of press release, saying he's one. Ah, foiled!

Ah, no! But what will happen... Redder, Nicole! But what I'm saying is that... There's Ian Randall. He's in there all long. I mean, Zelensky and Putin and Trump will all claim whatever the outcome of this negotiation is as victory. Peace in our time and victory in our time.

It's just, I really think, it just makes you think, the Second World War would have been so much. easier, wouldn't it? If Britain had just been able to say, appeasement was a victory for Britain. I think Chamberlain did, didn't he? Charlie Churchill and his focus on the actual results on the ground. This podcast episode has been a total victory, I think, Charles.

We've won. We should set out it, press release about it. We absolutely should. Best podcast episode ever. That's how Kyle and Jackie O can win Melbourne. They'll send out a press release saying they have. I think there's some base level. of plausibility that's needed for that, Charles.

We're part of the iconic class network, which is, according to some press releases, the finest podcast network in the world. Absolutely.