The Chaser Report - Our Unlucky 1,300th Episode

Episode Date: August 11, 2026

Kyle Sandilands' new show has gotten off to a catastrophic start, but that's hardly the most important podcasting news of the week. This episode is The Chaser Report's 1300th episode, and Charles and Dom celebrate the way all 50-year-olds are recommended to celebrate. ---Listen AD FREE: https://thechaserreport.supercast.com/ Follow us on Instagram: @chaserwarSpam Dom's socials: @dom_knightSend Charles voicemails: @charlesfirthEmail us: [e-mail] CEO’s Super-yacht upgrade Fund: https://chaser.com.au/support/ Send complaints to: [e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Chaser Report is recorded on Gatigal Land. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chaser Report. Hello and welcome to The Chaser Report with Dom and Charles. And a very special day for The Chaser Report. It is our unlucky 1,300th edition. Oh, is it today. This is it. This is it.

1,300 episodes of the Chaucer Report as of now. Wow. Which is something like 18.4. years if you were, sorry, it feels like, it was a Friday in sleep, 18.4 days if you were to back, which you should probably rent a venue and do. Let's do it. A lot of fantastic art installation, that would be. We should sit up, look, I think that's why Kyle has started doing his podcast.

Oh, yes. To try and catch up. He's gone. It's taking a while. The Chaser report, they've done 13,000 episodes. Phil, again, another 40th sleep. We're so tired that we get. 1300, we'll reflect on what we've achieved after this.

And we've actually got some stuff to talk about that isn't just either self-flagellation or self-congestulation. I don't know which it is at this point, Charles. So, Dom, yes. Are we going to talk about 1,300? That just makes me feel old. It does. It makes me feel old and I'm a bit proud that we've kept it going.

But also, have you looked at the numbers? They're actually going up. Yeah. Yeah, no, it's going. And the number of paid subscribers has been going up. We haven't even mentioned paid subscribers recently. No, we should. And the other thing we should do, and actually I wanted to do this is...

I don't think it's actually a reflection of our quality. I think it's to do with people's hatred of ads. Yes, that's right. And we should also just read some of the reviews. It's been a while since we have. But did you hear Carl's show had all kinds of technical difficulties today? We don't have that. Like, this is why you should subscribe to us and not Kyle's show.

It's because, A, we're slightly cheaper. You must cheaper. But B, you rarely hear episodes where you can't hear me on the microphone. Yeah. Or it's just the stream. That was just last week. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, well, apparently they actually, Bruno Bouchet, who's the producer,

actually at 7 a.m. on the first episode. Yeah. Okay, we're just going to have to turn everything off and on again. That's great. The whole thing went dark. I actually, I must say, I think it was the highlight of the show. I think they've got the marketing wrong. I would have ponied up nine, nine bucks to watch Carl Flail, embarrassingly.

They would have been totally there for that. But I'll tell you what, it really was, it was the royalty of the right there, wasn't it? It was Pauline Hanson. Was Pauline Hanson? David Hughes. Well, according to the hero. Dave Hughes and Paulian Hansen. This is all secondhand reporting.

I didn't. You didn't pay. They were all there to congratulate. David Hughes, Paul. Paul-en-Hanson, Chris Minns. Like all the... Chris Minns was on? Yeah, Chris Minns.

Oh, right. And they had John Edwards, the magician. Okay. Right. Of course there was. I mean, Kyle said at one point, apparently, would you call it up and running? I feel it's half up and running.

This is after Chris Minns congratulated him on it going. Chris Min said, I was concerned for you, but I'm glad this is up and running. This is fantastic. So, I mean, this is what Chris Minns did today. That was his highlight of his day, the Premier New South Wales, going on a semi-broken radio, non-radio show. Well, we've been hearing a lot about Australian's love of gambling. That's true.

Nine-nine bucks is a total gamble. It was a total gamble. For a year's access. Whether you get to hear it or not. But will they keep it up for a year? If it doesn't work out, surely not. He's not going to do that. He's not going to get up at 5 a.m. every day or whatever it is for a year, surely.

Oh, wait. We have. We have for 1,300 Eps. Oh yeah, that's right. That's right. Yeah, 4 a.m. Because originally, because this actually podcast came out a few months after 7 a.m. Yes.

It was in 2020. It was not in 2020. When was it? It was like, it was at least a year or two before that. It was 2019, we signed to deal with Nova. We had the Chaser Report. We did it, I think, twice a day on Nova. We had the mini apps and one longer app.

Remember? That was called the Chase report. 31910, we were on Triple M. No, we went. Okay. We can agree to disagree. I'm pretty sure it was 29. No, it started in 2020 because it was, because you remember when we had the meeting with the marketing people and it was

entirely on Zoom? We had to do a show. Just a little bit, when we started out, Nova were trying to sell ads. So they got us into like basically a Zoom room with, I don't know, a couple of hundred marketing people. I think you're actually right. I think. And we scripted a show.

Yes. But they're all on mute. So there was no reaction. It was really weird. Oh, that's right. Yeah. And we had to, I think people from McDonald's were there because I thought, oh, we'd be a perfect brand alignment with McDonald's. Do you remember that?

Yeah, I think so. Sponsor pitch to McDonald's about. I don't know that it was. I don't think I didn't even hear of a. We may have at one point been sponsors. I feel like we once did a live read for like McCafay. Don't you think something like that was? Yeah.

I couldn't possibly endorse that brand now in my current job. But, uh, no. A lot of coffee providers are available. Anyway, Charles, we digress 1,300. Let's roll on 1,300 more. Chase your report, 2020. Yeah, it started in 2020. In about April, I think, or May.

Except, yeah, okay, okay, fair enough. No, yeah, it was December 2019, we pitched it to Nova. Yeah, and I know for sure, because we were at Triple M until the end of 2019, because I remember the fires had started before we finished. We actually had to do with fire updates on the final. Like, we were doing a live, a live daily comment. show at Triple M and I remember doing bushfire reads towards the end and it was quite quite concerning.

How extraordinary. And you know where we also pitched this? I didn't even realise this. We pitched it to be a picture to. We pitched it to the ABC. The Chaser Report? Did we really? Yes.

Oh wow. Didn't they miss out? My God, it was a very different, um, your picture looks like you're about 13 years old and you're all chiseled. What? Oh no, that's a very old picture. That's not from 2019. Very fraudulently.

That's from about 2007, that picture. Because I have a full head of hair. Oh, we've got all the publicity photo. I mean, this is digressed horribly. Okay, sorry. But this is that, isn't that the nature of a podcast? This is the joy of this medium. Anyway.

On Triple M, we had this guy who, this very large man who got angry with us after three minutes. If we stopped playing music. So, actually, funny story about Lee Coleman. Lee Coleman, the Lee Dog. The Lee Dog, who used to be our DJ on radio chaser. Yeah, he was our producer. Yeah, yeah. Which is for several years.

He quit radio shortly after we left. Did he quit? He sort of destroyed his career. His association with us. It's like, you know when you drive into an alley within your car and you can't back out? That's what I was like. And so, and he went into, of all things, making chili oil. Yes, he became a chili entrepreneur.

Yes. And it's called DC Cartel. I've actually got some. I bought some. Did you buy some? I bought some the other day because I kept meaning to. Yeah. Apparently it's really good.

good. Yes, and you can subscribe to it. To a chili oil. You can subscribe to a chili oil. Oh, wow. And it is actually really good. It's won a whole lot of awards. Well, he's still doing it all these years later, so I'm assuming it hasn't been a

title to that. He sold 600,000 jars. Why don't we do a deal with him? He probably... Has he got money to sponsor the podcast? I don't know. Oh, no, we've provided a brand. Other chili oils are available.

I haven't tried it. I can't endorse it. Okay, so but Dom. Let's take some ads. Let's got to pay the bills. We've got to keep. got to keep Lachlan in trinkets. The Chaser Report.

Now with extra whispers. Okay, so Dom, I got the world's most depressing letter the other day. Oh, and it's got a government. It's got a government crest at the top. From the Australian government. It's from the Department of Health and Aging. Oh, my gosh. Oh, no.

I just see what it says. And it says, Dear Charles, Turning 50 is a good time. I don't think that's true. Turning 50 is a good time to think about your future and reduce. reducing your risk of dementia. Oh, my goodness. And is the first problem that you're nearly 51 and you've forgotten about this for the past year? No, no, no, because I don't know.

You haven't turned 50 years. No, I don't know. That's not until next year in January. The first thing that you get sent, like as you turn 50 is a bag to poo in. A bowel cancer test. Yeah, good. Have you got that yet? Not yet.

No. It's like literally on your birthday. You get this bagged. Happy birthday. And you've got to do it three times. Birthday to poo. It's actually a remarkably effective public health care. It is.

I don't want to criticise it. I'm sure it saves lives. But this one is towards the end of your days as a 50-year-old. And it's all about reducing a risk of dementia. And then it gives you... And I just think, don't you think that's a little bit early? 50? Like, don't you think that that's a bit insulting to be said?

There's a very depressing letter to research. To be fair to the government, you're the guy who sent out a whole bunch of invitation. since everybody's saying happy 40th to me, kind of my 40th. You later interpreted it as a joke. Right. But we all know. We all know.

Yeah, it's the first sign. So. Listeners might think, hang on, Charles often loses his train of thought and gets distracted. He's always been like that since he was a teenager. I was there.

Okay, so I just want to read you out the list of things that the government gets admitted to do it. What's the government telling you to look out for? Now, but just before I do that, I just do need to get my glasses.

Just one of my second. Okay. This is not a bit. He's actually putting on glasses. I don't know. Okay. The first thing is get your vision checked. Okay.

Very good. I've got glasses too. You know I've got multifacals. Sorry, what did you say? I got glasses. Glasses on my eyes. Because the next thing is get your hearing. No, yeah.

Okay. Very good. Then the next one is stay active and eat a balanced diet. Oh. Now, I'd never. Why start now? Why start now? Like, I kind of.

feel like if you're going to die anyway and get dementia, surely the one thing you shouldn't do is do all horrible stuff and eat salad. It's got a picture of a salad. Yes. Is that a meat salad? You've got to go out and exercise. I mean, I'm going to kind of feel like if, like I've only got 25 years left. Is it a balanced diet when we alternate beer and wine? Like what's Oh, that's what it means. Okay. No, that's fair enough. Oh, so that's not a salad. That's actually a frothy beer, is it? I think it's a bowl of chips. It's a bowl of chips. Yeah. A chip salad.

Being active, that's good. Well, you can walk to the pub. The thing to do is to choose a pub that's a walk away. That's right. Yes. That's a good idea. That's get your steps up. And things like, I was turning my train this morning, and one of the things that we've,

one of the things that we've decided is every time I want to have a chocolate chip cookie. Yes. I have to walk to get it. So if it's in the cupboard or something like that, don't bring out the packet of things. And you said to get your step. steps up. What, you need to just... Just go and get one, return to the couch.

You need a second house. And then you've returned the next one, get a, you know, and then that's how you get your steps up. What you need is, is that you need a... You can just get a post office box. What you should do is go to the post office box. It's about a kilometer a half away. Yes.

And just rent one. Yeah. Keep your chocolate chip cookies in that. And that way every time you... Yeah, you've got to walk a 3K round trip every time you're on a chocolate chip cookie. Okay. That would work. That would work.

I'm so glad we're... I mean, we've turned into a world. Wellness podcast. We are. Wellness Influences. After 1,300 episodes. We may as well. Switch it up.

Yeah, something's got to change. Okay, next one is look after your heart health. Oh, really? Now, this one gave me a bit of a shock. Did it? Yeah, I felt a real memory. I think it gave me a bit of a heart. You felt a lurch, did you?

Yeah. Yeah, right. Seek help for mental health. Right. Which is a bit hard to do nowadays because they cut the number of, you know, sessions you can get on Medicare for your mental health. I don't know what they make. Do they just mean?

I mean, they mean beer, have a beer. I mean, if that's what you consider useful for your mental health. There's a bit of a mess of problem with all this, Charles, isn't there? Yeah. Because in order to protect against dementia, you have to remember a list of things to look out for. I think there's a logical floor there somehow. I think that's true.

Yes. I mean, how are you supposed to remember the things that mean you're forgetting things? It doesn't really work. What you need is... Well, actually, I'll tell you what, though, Dom. On the subject of dementia, I've been many to talk to you about this. I got a letter from the government about how I turned 50. Oh my goodness.

No, it says here, turning 50 is a good time to think about your future and reducing your risk of dementia, which I think is just a bit insulting, don't you think, Don't you think, Don't. What we do is we're going to let him keep talking and we'll just stop recording and so we're from the iconic glass network. Sorry, Charles, what will you say? I've no idea what this is. I'll just get my glasses because I just want to read out the list of things. Okay, get regular vision checks. I feel like this is a perfect note on which to go out on our 1,300 episode.

It's been gradually declining to... Groundhog Day. Groundhog pod. Yeah. Ground pod day. Okay. Well, we're part of the Aconiclass Network, which you should know by now. I mean, there should be a 1,300 in the first episode.

We'll see how we feel. Did I mention stay active and eat a balanced diet? Thank you.