The Chaser Report - Peter Dutton Is All About That Baseload

Episode Date: June 24, 2024

Charles Firth has another political theory about Peter Dutton's nuclear energy plan. Unfortunately for Charles, Dom Knight has baseloads. Baseload baseload baseload. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Chaser Report is recorded on Gadigal Land. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chaser Report. Hello, and welcome to The Chaser Report with Dom and Charles. Hello, Charles. Now, I have a theory. Thank God. Yes, I know. There's been a huge demand for my theories and not enough supply in recent weeks.

You keep telling yourself that, my friend. So I have actually worked out why Peter Dutton is doing the whole, let's build lots of nuclear power plans all around Australia thing. Oh, thank goodness somebody has, Charles, because I've just seen in the news today, Rod Sims of all people, says that it will add $200 to our power bills. It doesn't seem, I don't want to rush to judge. I'm no expert on nuclear, but it feels like if that's true, that's not going to help my cost of living. That's right.

Exactly. Like, it is literally every single expert, every single economist, every single person left of Genghis Khan has gone, this is a terrible idea, right? It is almost like he came up with a $320 billion policy, because that's currently the figure that they're saying it's going to cost over the next. The CSRO figure is $320 billion to build these seven nuclear power plans, which would actually end up being 10% of the energy required to actually have a net zero economy by 2050. So it's a massive multi-hundred billion dollar brain fart of an idea. Clearly has no detail, no backing, is just made on the run as a political fix for some exigency. It involves nuclear, so it's a bit sort of like masculine and bold.

Oh, that's what it is. The whole thing is never going to happen, and it's going to be paid for by taxpayers. Is it the axe body wash? It's a whole lot of chaos. Like, it's just creating this sort of plume of sorts. tour dust into the Australian energy system and the climate change transition in Australia, right? Sure, but as against that, one word, baseload. Think about that during the ads.

That's what it is, Charles, baseload. You've got nothing to say to that, do you? No, exactly. Oh, you want your batteries and your renewables, but Charles, what about when the sun goes down? It doesn't shine all the time. What about when there's no wind? It's not windy all the time. What about when there's no waves?

Yes. What then? Base load. So the thing is, the question is, when you are changing your energy mix in order to be climate change friendly, do you go, well, what we had was coal-fired power stations? The only way we can do a network is using the existing infrastructure. We've got all this copper wire that we've got sitting unused coming out from these large generation of baseload sort of turbines. Do we just have to put something there?

Or, as every expert has said, is we can actually decentralise the grid. And, yeah, sure, we've got all this copper network that is going to go to waste a bit. Like, we're going to have to sort of decommission some of that. But actually, at the end of the day, we end up with a grid that sort of where energy is being produced in lots of different places all around the country. And arguably closer to where it's going to be used, except on windless days, in which case, yeah, like you do now, you have to sort of go. get it across from the border or whatever. So, yeah, that's, that is the, that's the absolute sort of non-satirical answer to your question of baseload. I'm sorry, Charles, when I say baseload, I'm not interested in an answer.

Oh, right, okay. You need to understand. You're just being all like trendy. This is the thing that you got to, see, if you read Lech Blaine's quarterly essay on Peter Dutton, you'll understand that what he really doesn't like is trendies. He doesn't like Wankers. He doesn't like people who went to university. Yes.

He likes people from the suburbs. with proper ideas who aren't trendy. Who don't have sort of like a brain. You know, like what he likes is people who just take a single word or three words and just go, yeah, that's me. That's me.

I'm baseload. He likes baseload people. We can't run a modern economy, Charles, without baseload. Okay. So do you know, but this is the same Lech Blaine who went around the outer suburbs of Queensland and discovered that none of them felt

for the scomo transgender. a scare campaign at the last election because actually they're not baseload people they actually have brain isn't this the whole problem with peter anyway so this is let me get to my theory you haven't let me get to my theory i want you to get to your theory i'm just going to randomly during the rest of the podcast just say the word baseload as a way of just proving all that you say that's all i got to contribute to that's my theory is my theory is okay so it's going to cost 300 billion dollars it's going to do nothing it's it's a huge amount of sawdust and it's nuclear it's all going to be paid for but the taxpayer right this is classic scomo peter dutton is the sort of

queensland scomo he's a fucking queensland scomo he's like that's what it is it's just total scomo playbook i actually reckon peter dutton got into office he gets into the office of the leader or whatever and they've and scomo's left behind his playbook and dutton's gone well i can't be or thinking anything new up because he's a bit of a dullard he's from Queensland and he's just gone I'll just do nuclear

but instead of nucleus under the sea I'm going to do nuclear on land By the way Charles I've issued a correctionate which is I corrected you last week and you're absolutely right Oh yeah well

You were talking about the You were talking about the nuclear nonproliferation treaty Yeah And I was saying no I would show that's just for weapons But it is actually the case That when they announced

The Orcas deal And Karen Middleton wrote about this And again, this isn't joking. This is just annoying fact. It was very clear when Joe Biden spoke that as part of the deal, Australia would not have as part of the orcus submarines. A, nuclear weapons on the submarines and have conventional missiles.

B, we would not have any nuclear weapons or seek to have nuclear weapons because that would violate the nonproliferation treaty. Or a domestic nuclear power industry. We would not commit to having any domestic nuclear power industry because that would violate the non-proliferation treaty. because that would violate the non-proliferation treaty. I presume Peter Dutton plans to override that as though it was state premiers. Yes.

But you were quite right. It actually would violate our treaty obligations and the Orkis deal if we went ahead with nuclear power. But as against that, baseload. But the thing is, you can say baseload all you like, but essentially, why is it? So Peter Dutton must have known that the entire military industrial complex, pretty much everyone left of Genghis Khan definitely hates this idea like it's a stupid idea

that's just going to add money it's actually it's political hurry curry right like it actually it's suicidal to go to the next election saying we're going to massively increase the cost to pack taxpayers of electricity

and stop all this cheap electricity coming onto the grid at the same time like it is so dumb right why did he do it the reason is because I reckon all his colleagues. You know how, like, Peter Dutton last time, was encouraged to run? Before he got elected his leader, when Scott Morrison got elected his leader,

Scott Morrison encouraged Peter Dutton to run, right? And all his colleagues went, yeah, mate, mate, hey, yeah, you're really popular. Have a crack. This is the time when he didn't do the maths properly, right? Yes, yes. And he didn't know how to count. He was confident that he had the numbers. What it did was it allowed Scott Morrison to sort of come through as a clean skin.

Oh, as the honest broker. Yeah, and go, well, we don't want this wrecker Peter Dutton who gets no vote but knocked off Malcolm Turnbull. What we need is somebody to bring the party together, Scott Morrison will do that. Yeah, and I reckon Peter Dutton is again, like everyone's going, how do we knock this fucking fuck wit off? The answer is, you encourage him to do a policy so suicidally stupid and unpopular that he's just not going to be a problem. it's going to take him out as a political problem, either before or after the next election. Charles,

you know what you're saying? You're saying this is nuclear-powered knights and dames. Yes. You're saying this is a career-endingly stupid policy. This is a captain's call. This is Tony Abbott plus Scott Morrison, but at Queensland. This is a trifectar, Dom.

It's pretty extraordinary. There is a lot of internal friction. I mean, Simon Birmingham was out. He was speaking to the Guardian. in Australia. This is two days ago, which is firstly a massive fault. He shouldn't be talking to the Guardian if Simon Birmingham wants to be

a frontbencher. But he also told the Guardian that, and I'm quoting, renewables have become more cost competitive in their own right. And by 2035, when the first nuclear power plant is supposed to be being built, but there's one more detail that I found fascinating in the

Dutton Plan. I don't know whether this has been discussed much, but did you see? They said that they won't build it anywhere that doesn't want it and then it as with all the policy various people have said some things other things other people said other things and they've walked things back and whatever but they said there'd be extensive community consultation before going ahead in case communities didn't want it do you know how long the community consultation was uh specified for how long we're going to consult the community two and a half years charles two and a half years yes they would spend two and a half

years i'm just trying to find the source for this consulting the communities in other words almost the entire term is how long they would take. I think this is Ted O'Brien, the energy spokesperson, yeah, on insiders, that's right. And there's also this whole thing of having an independent body who's going to advise exactly where they go. This is another part of the O'Brien plan. They've cited seven places, but exactly what gets built where he's off to another. So that's Kevin Rudd. That brings in your Rudd.

You get a whole nuclear expert. Yes, putting your decision off until an expert reports, that's the Rudd thing. Don't you remember what he did as Prime Minister? He spent two years doing nothing and going, but we've got a report coming. And then before all the reports came back, he got sacked. So Chen O'Brien, the energy spokesperson, who designed the whole plan, wants an independent body to work out exactly what you build where and whether the small modular reactors actually do anything.

And only from there can you come down to a specific number of gigawatts. So are they going to spend two and a half years consulting? So nothing will be done at all by 2008. No, but something will be done, which is. is investment in renewables will be put on pause in the meantime. Like, it is extraordinary. The number, the amount of renewables in our grid has gone up 25% in the last two years, right? And that is simply a result of the government turning around and actually having a coherent pro-renewables policy, right?

Suddenly, there is a basis for investment in renewables and people are going, okay, I can invest and I can create renewables in the grid, right? And all Dutton really wants to do is create uncertainty so that that stops and... Yeah, because Wankers like you from the inner city, like wind. Except, Charles, this is the crazy thing. Simon Burningham and said they're getting cheaper. David Littleproud said there would be a cap on how many renewables you're allowed to have. And O'Brien said, not at all, that's not our policy at all. We welcome renewables.

We're into renewables. We just don't think it's going to give a baselo. They can't even get their story straight. Their policy, it seems to me, Charles, is to do nothing until shortly before the following election. But I don't think, but that is, that is the coalition's policy. That's what the coalition wants. They don't want to have a policy. They've had 23, I mean, I know this is a Labor Party talking about it, but it's true.

They've had 23 energy policies in the last 10 years. This is their 23rd of energy policy. And they were in government. Yes, of community consultation. Yeah. Little Proud wants to take the Australian people on a journey for two and a half years But then if they don't agree, they'll be overridden I mean, I think that's reason enough to vote against it, which is what could be more boring

Than a two and a half year conversation about energy policy Yeah, we're having one now This podcast for two and a half years But Charles, imagine that, imagine them going to Lithgow. They're going to Lithgow and saying we're spending two and a half years consulting you And then in the end you can't veto No, we're going to talk to you for two and a half years and then not listen to you in the final decision?

Nobody wants to spend two and a half years in Lithgow. I think that that is... But I think the thing that shows you that this is not a policy design to succeed. This is a policy design to kill Peter Dutton is the fact that Ted O'Brien has been put in charge of selling it. Like, that is the clue. Like, if you want to lose a debate, you put Ted O'Brien in charge. And I reckon, so I reckon, what's happened is the federal cabinet going,

oh, this Dutton guy, he's a bit of a dud, we don't want him. Oh, yeah, let's agree to a new credit. Yeah, Peter, that could be your policy. Let's tell everyone it's cheaper. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Even though every expert says it will add $200 to the energy bill. Yeah, yeah. Oh, sorry, I can't make it to the announcement.

Maybe Ted can go. You can sell it, Ted. And Peter Dutton's going, yeah, I think I've got the numbers on this. I've got the numbers on this. So, Charles, who is the mastermind then? Who's the next leader? Well, this is it Simon Birmingham? Oh, God, no, no, no, no.

He's a raging lefties, and he talks to the Guardian. No, no, no. I mean, Matt Keane's out of the picture. He's now joining the, actually joining the government, the traitor. Yeah, he's. Well, I think that's very shrewd, isn't it? Like, the day after, you know, Dutton goes on his nuclear tirade, Matt Keene gets appointed the head of the Climate Change Authority.

And so now, a lib is going to have to, Matt Kean, of course, being the former deputy premier in New South Wales, and New South Wales Treasurer, like the whole idea being that a lib is going to be the key person within the government arguing against the Liberal Party policy. And a Lib who said who can come in and say as he did. Yeah, yeah, look, I looked into nuclear. We were open to nuclear, but we were told that it was way too expensive in Australia and it didn't make sense.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, that's a pretty powerful argument for a former treasurer to make. So I think in answer to your question, who is trying to knock off? Yeah, who benefits, Charles? That's what you always have to ask. You know that. Exactly. And I think, I mean, you can go through the standard people,

like the Susan Lee's, the Bridget Arches, that sort of thing. But I think you've got to look at the people who are in Siberia at the moment. Oh. And I think what this is, because this will wipe out the lips, right? Who's been frozen out? They're not going to have the teals, get any teal seats under this. Oh, they've just reelected all the teals, haven't they? They've just made it a lot easier for the teals.

They've reelected them. but then also out of suburban, especially Queenslanders, but out of suburban voters don't want to hear that they're going to get $200 extra on every electricity bill and that also taxes are going to go up because of this. Like, this is a genuinely terrible policy at every turn. I think this is a policy by Shadow Minister for Veterans Affairs, also known as Barnaby Joyce.

Barnaby? Yes, he wants to wipe out the libs at the next election so that he, so that the Nats get, the numbers. At that point Barnaby, Swan's in and goes da-da, that was my policy all along. That was my idea all along. And bye-bye, Dutton,

bye-bye Libs. Nats become the senior coalition partner and Barnaby Joyce becomes the leader of the opposition. Oh, Charles, that's a brilliant theory. But they don't need to wipe out the lips. What they'll do is they'll LNP it. They'll do it in Queensland. Yes, that's right. Reverse takeover.

Just combine the two. Yes. Oh, so maybe it's Barnaby has been saying, don't worry about the teal seats. Yes. Just go for the outer suburbs. Yeah. And this is why, and because Little Proud is the current leader of the Nats, isn't he?

Is that right? Yeah. Yes. But, I mean, clearly not for long. Anyone, every leader other than Barnaby, the Nationals has had, is a complete charisma void. But this is why you're going, Little Proud is clearly in a panic and offering to go and talk to the people of Lithgow for two and a half years.

I mean, nobody does that, not in a panic. Like, he's clearly going, oh, fuck, I can. can see the 4D chess that Barnaby's playing, I'm about to be outmanoeuvred. I've got to go and pretend that I'm willing to go to Lithgow for two and a half years and talk to them. You know the other thing that they'll do, Charles, to really alienate the Australian electorate. It's happened before, they're going to do it again. They're going to tell us we're going to get to know the real Dutton.

Oh, no. Oh, well, that would be a disaster if that happened, wouldn't it? Do you remember that? I'm not a monster. When everyone comes out and I'm not a monster, I'm a lovely guy, just get to know me. And he's going to go on a soft focus. We'll see Portrait

in Women's Day and stuff with his wife Yeah Well that again I think I think Barnaby's given him

Yeah that idea as well So go and get them to know you better Peter Yeah That'll work All right

So Charles We posted last week On the feed We got a bit busy The one Where you called it The next election For Dutton

Yeah What a terrible I listened to that And thank you For saying It was a good episode At the time

I enjoyed it But I'm willing I'm willing to call the election. Anthony Aberneasy will be the next Prime Minister of Australia. You think? Yeah, I mean, I'm talking about tomorrow, not after the election. God, no. No, this is...

I know. I mean, I'm not... I don't know that Peter Dutton will win the next election. But if Albae's level in the polls, he's done. Labor won't stand for that. No, no, no, no. It'll be Max Chandler, Mather. There you go. You heard it here first. Max Chandler, Mather, the next Prime Minister of Australia. All right. What an amazing insight

we've had here. Thank you, Charles. I'll catch you tomorrow. Our gear is from road We're part of the iconoclast network Queensland Scommo That's a line that we'll hear more of Between now and the election It is, that's what he is

Peter Dutton is Queensland Scomo Sunshine Scomo Nucleus Scomo I reckon they're going to call him Plutonium Pete I hate it already Can't you just imagine it? Yeah, yeah

All right It's going to get very boring Two and a half years See ya Yeah Thank you.