The Chaser Report - Please Trump, Don't Cancel AUKUS

Episode Date: June 12, 2025

Donald Trump is unsure whether the AUKUS deal where Australia gives the US $368 billion and receives zero nuclear submarines is sufficiently "America first". Charles and Dom are here to tell him the truth, that Australia is stealing from America and it needs to be cancelled.---Follow us on Instagram: @chaserwarSpam Dom's socials: @dom_knightSend Charles voicemails: @charlesfirthEmail us: [e-mail] our caviar addiction: https://chaser.com.au/support/ Send complaints to: [e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Chaser Report is recorded on Gatigal Land. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chaser Report. Hello and welcome to The Chaser Report with Dom and Charles. Charles, today is a very bad day for Australia. There's a possibility that the US's review of the Orcas Submarine Agreement will conclude that it's not part of the America First Agenda. Oh. And it might get cancelled. Charles, this may mean that we...

never get the submarines that we're not going to get. As we've said for quite a while on the podcast. Yeah, I mean, well, we're not even going to get even if we get them. This is the whole, this is the thing that nobody understands about orcas is, if we get the submarines, they will be based in Oakland, in California. That's the plan. Really? Yes, the plan is.

They were always, no, they're always going to be based in America. Baked into the plan. No, yes, because we don't have the facilities to base a nuclear sub in a, Australia, right? And we never will. And the Americans don't want us to. They will be based in Oakland, which is on the west coast of America, quite close to Australia, but still like probably 13,000 kilometres away. I mean, many hours of sailing to repel an imminent invasion. Yes. And so that's, and that's best case scenario. Like if they actually exist and we get one, then what will happen is there will be a port in Perth, because in Darwin there's not enough,

It's not deep enough or something to do a proper unload and reload or whatever. There'll be a port in Perth where they'll be sort of like able to go and visit for an extended period of times. For the actual official base, for the Australian-owned, Orcas owned, in advert of commas, august, will be in Oakland, California. I'm going to fact-check that while we take some out. And the reason I know this, Dom, and you can fact-check all you like, The reason I know this is because I know the guy who is in charge of Orcas inside D-FAT, and he told me this directly.

Google Gemini says that you're wrong, which probably means that you're right. Yeah, yeah. And say, well, it says they'll notion to be based in W.A. They'll be notionally based on W.A. But here's the other detail I didn't know about until today, until something he's coverage today. You can tell me if this is right from your friend. Yeah. If American needs them, we have to get them back.

Yes. So we're paying for the submarines. Yes. But just in case America says it needs them At its own discretion, we have to surrender them to America So the brilliant thing is that essentially And what this guy that I talked to said about the whole thing Was there's no way America will ever in its right mind

At any rational level cancel augurs Because it's literally just us giving them $350 billion for free I mean it sounds like a donation Fairly America first to me Yes But this is why But this is what I love about the Trump administration is, you know, this could well spill over

orcas, and we could end up much better off on the basis that America's striking a deal with us. Well, this is the thing is that, I mean, people like Malcolm Turnbull, Bob Carr, a lot of kind of foreign policy greybeards have said, thank goodness America is potentially going to do what Australia wouldn't have the guts to do, which has cancelled this thing. But as you say, it may not. They may just view it as a good deal.

Now look, yeah, so $368 billion is the total amount for Orcas for 30 years. Let me just summarize what's going to happen. Yeah, okay, just briefly. For those who can't remember the details, because it's very complicated, this is from the BBC. Yeah. So we get three second-hand Virginia-class submarines from the US at some point.

From 2032, from is doing a lot of lifting in that sense. And if they're available. If they're available, yeah, and that's a whole other issue with the US not having enough shipbuilding and all this kind of stuff. Yeah. So that's if America builds new ones and so therefore doesn't need these anymore.

There's an option to purchase two more in theory. Then after that, and this is where most of the cost comes, I think the old subs are only a couple of bill, the massive payment is for the new submarines to be built in Britain and Australia to a British design using technology from all three countries. So most of the money is for a hypothetical submarine and note a British submarine. When you're going around the world looking for a technology service provider, Charles, is Britain generally first on your list for high tech equipment? No, and in actual fact, one of the fascinating things is, you know how we've now given $6 billion to... We've made the first few payments to England.

No, no, but in addition to that, we gave them $6 billion the other day just to boost their submarine building industry. Remember that? We just donated $6 billion to England. Well, it's very important that these two very big countries receive money from us regularly. That's basically what it is, $360 billion. Because one of the funny things that this... Actually, this was a different guy at the same party, it said to me.

Wow, you went to an orchestra party. It was a great party. Loose lips sink ships, is to say. You were at that party. Was I? Yes. Oh. I think, I feel like I won the party.

I didn't have to have any conversation about Orcas. It was in Canberra. It was about, you drove down with me. Remember? No. Last year. You're thinking of somebody else. I didn't at that.

I know the party you mean. I didn't get there. I was hoping to get there. Oh, right. Okay. I didn't get there. The thing is, at the time, they hadn't given $6 billion yet to the British industry.

But even with $6 billion, this guy was saying, our assessment of the British manufacturing industry is that it is actually further behind in manufacturing than Australia is. It has de-industrialised even more than Australia. And he said, I wouldn't, they don't even make chocolate. What? Chocolates in the UK anymore, right? They decommissioned their Cadbury's factory.

Well, I know that a lot of the car factories, Like a lot of, they just been bought by Chinese companies, haven't they? They don't make anything there. And he said that the idea that you would actually get to, you know, advance manufacturing, let alone bleeding edge high-tech manufacturing within 30 years, is just simply not feasible. I mean, if you look at how China is industrialized, they started industrializing in the early 1980s, right, with low-end manufacturing.

That's been a 40-year project to get to the point where they are. Wow. So the idea that, you know, we can turn up in 2055, 30 years later, and suddenly Britain knows how to manufacture the best subs in the world is just not going to happen, like definitely not going to happen. Yeah, I was just looking at like Jaguar and Land Rover. Yeah. The two classic marks are both owned by India now.

They're both owned by Tata. Yeah. And M.G.'s owned by China. As we know. Made in China. And then the other great one is Rolls Royce is still made. in England, or at least some of them are still made in England, but they have

terrible flaws that they've been coping with for years in their engines. Well, they're also really ugly. They're terrible. No, but the jets that they make for... I think it's a different company actually. I think the airline engine company...

I think they were together at one point, but they've kind of been... Anyway, the point is it's not a country where you go. August is and always has been nothing burger, and it's actually more about tithing to the US, that's the geopolitics, they're the imperial superpower and we're just giving money. Well, why is Britain at the table then at all?

Okay, so this is the greatest tale never told. This is the thing that I mean, genuinely curious about it, because I can completely understand we do a deal that benefits America. Yes. I know the exact reason why. But the idea that's Britain somehow has to be part of this essential arrangement. I know the actual reason. So, do you remember Crosby Textor?

Yes. Oh, really? Yes. Sir Linton Crosby is... Sir Lyndon Crosby, I think he was... Was he deputy chief and staff to Howard? He was certainly... He was the pollster to have.

Very high up in that organisation, yeah. And Crosby Texter were credited with quite a lot of the wins for the coalition over the years, right? Yes. And when Howard lost in 2007, they went over and set up shop in the UK. And as a result, they became extremely influential in British politics. Yeah, the Cameron era. They pioneering.

Stop the Boats over in Britain. I think they actually pioneered it here first, but Stop the Boats was something that they introduced into British politics and the whole raft of... Oh, and I think the whole... All the sort of offshore detention regime that Boris Johnson was trying to set up. That's all... And that is because a former Crosby Textor staffer was Boris Johnson's chief of staff, right?

So hold that in your brain, right? Now, just to be clear, Crosby Textor is now... actually called CT Industries. It's rebranded, right? But just before we go any further, yes, just before we go any further with that, also know that the deputy chief of staff to Scott Morrison, when Scott Morrison was prime minister, was also ex-Krosby Texter. Now, why did they rebrand to CT Industries? The answer is that they have set up shop now in the US, but instead of being the sort of, you know, didn't we do a whole episode on? this? Yes, yes. Oh, and they

were the Orcas boosters. They, but their clients in the US are not the Republican Party. They are the defence private defence contractors and in particular all the shipbuilders and submarine manufacturers, right? Up the, you know,

in Florida and North Carolina and stuff of that. Why aren't we getting those? Why are we getting the British ones? And so, no, so what happened was, yeah, because they're the companies that will then be, quote unquote, building them in the UK and then actually have to build them in the US when the UK manufacturing turns out to be not able to even produce a Cadbury's dairy milk chocolate.

I'm just looking at the CT group here, what they do. Apparently they do private investigations as well as political consultancy and lobbying. Maybe we should hire them to investigate the absolute corruption that was the orchestra deal because when... So you think they should do the independent review? When Scott Morrison was in Paris and he claims came up just, On his own, out of nowhere with the idea that he should scrap the French submarine deal and instead do Orcus instead, he claims that it was just this epiphany that he had.

His deputy chief of staff was there and Boris Johnson's chief of staff was there. And the actual truth is it was just something that it was the perfect political fix to be able to serve all of CET industry's clients over in the US because Boris Johnson would do anything to fuck the French because he's a fact. fucking British Tory, and Scott Morrison did it because I think he was just a guileless fool. Now, I remember where this all began. This all began because Crikey did a whole series on Crosby Texter and the way that they've gone into the US.

And yeah, it says here, their Washington clients include General Dynamics, a defence company, an electric boat is the lead contractor for the US Navy's nuclearised. And look at the front page of the CT group website is, oh no, that's not the front page. It's an orchis advantage. Right? So literally their whole, their whole business set. I actually did a lecture, which I think might be actually one of those, you know, top secret things. I did one for the National Security College down in Canberra. Did you talk about it? I think you might have talked about that on the podcast. I'm surprised I haven't been killed. So, but by the way, a lot of my thing was about how this is just

pure corruption, pure and simple. The idea that... CT left the Liberals for good in 2024, apparently, according to Mark Cephano's article here, which might explain why they didn't win under Peter Dutton. Yeah, right!

Because he didn't follow the three-word slogan strategy. Yeah, yeah, there were too many words in the slogan. Yeah. The Chaser Report, News You Can't Trust. Look at this. The Orchus Advantage. This is from the CT group website.

It says, And this is just like, you know, a big splash page on the CD Group website. And it says, CT Group has unrivaled political, defense, commercial and intelligence networks, extensive campaigning experience and global presence, including officers in UK, US, and Australia, unlocking global defence and security opportunities with unmatched networks and strategic support. They're basically saying, we know how to get you the contracts, because we fucking did it. We made it up. Should you send them an email?

Yes. To see if we can be the official. podcast of Orcas. I think that's good. And we should just offer them, as they do to their clients, unrivaled campaign and communication support. Unrivaled podcast. Yeah.

That's very good. So, okay, this is all going down now. They're doing the review. Look at this. Competitive advantage, policy influence, shape, this is the advantage of going with the CT group. They shape government policy in regulatory initiatives for businesses to take advantage of Orcas.

They shape government policy. They say that on their website. They nurture it. grow relationships with decision makers to incentivise sustained support This is just, I mean, it's just flagrant Just fucking flagrant But Charles.

But oh yeah, no, let's keep going with Orcas I mean Oh, and I wonder whether it's America first or enough I mean, it's just a fucking But Charles, there's a thing that you're It's a scam That you're missing about all this Which is that I still think it's very likely

The Trump administration will just cancel it Like as much as you say I know because it's a scheme to funnel lots of money from Australia to America. You know, some have described as kind of like a protection racket. Like, you're just finding a way to a reason, a sort of pretext to just pay the money. Yeah.

But I can't, it's far from guarantee that Donald Trump will get any of that nuance. Yeah. He'll just go. He'll look at it in terms of, well, what am I getting cut in for? Like, how much will I get? Well, shouldn't the T and C.T. Group stand for Trump. I mean, that'd be one good way to...

Well, if I was the C.T. group, I'd be doing that. They probably will. But he's, you know what, he's going to envisaging being at Mara Lago when he finally retires after his fifth term. And there's, you know, a warship off Mara Lago offshore. The HMS, Trump. He wants the American. Oh, no, it wouldn't be HMIS?

The SS. The SS Trump? That's very, and he wants, um, is that what do they call their boats? I don't think they have names for them, actually. The USS Trump? Yeah. Trump one, Trump two, Trump three. Yeah.

It'd be like George Foreman calling all of his kids. you know, George Foreman, the third, four, fifth. He's just not going to want to give the submarines away. He's not going to matter what the money. But under the deal, he doesn't have to. He can just ask for them back. But he was not going to look at the detail of the deal. He's just going to go, no, they're not having our submarines.

No deal. And don't forget, he already feels he was tricked by Malcolm Turnbull. Yes. To take asylum seekers. Do you remember that? And an Aussie steel? Yeah. He's not going to fall for it.

He got tricked. He doesn't trust Australians. Yes, and I don't think he should. I think he should pull the deal. because otherwise he might be tricked again. Well, Charles, what do we spend the money on if Orcus goes down? As long as it's not hospital, schools and roads, I'm in for it. I think we need to just buy more.

Maybe we can send over military aid to Los Angeles to help kill the journalists. I don't know. I mean, we can do lots of things. But maybe, maybe, I'll tell you, this is the Australian dream. Every man, woman and child gets their own harbicide frontage. Wow. Yes. How do we do that?

We sort of build lots of artificial reclaimed islands, a bit like, you know, the world in Dubai. What about, Charles, if there's one thing we've learned from the Ukrainian culture. You know what we won't do with it? What? Solve the housing crisis. No, no, no, we certainly don't do that. It's a bit of because the Collins class submarines could be turned into a lovely little units,

couldn't it be the best thing that they wouldn't need to turn left? They could just sit on land. Isn't it just the case that all you need is drones now? Why do we even want submarines? Haven't the Ukrainians just shown us? You just need cheap drones. I reckon $368 billion worth of $1,000 drones. That's all we need.

Would be a lot of drones. That's all the defence we need. No one's going to take us on then. Nah, no one. Literally just, all those drones could just sit as an umbrella. Yeah. So, okay, so I'm not good at math, but $368 billion would buy $368 million, $1,000 drones. Yes.

So they could literally be an umbrella over the whole in Australia. Every man, woman and child could be given. Like, many drones. It could be given a thousand drones each, I think. 368 million times by 25. We get about 13, 13 or so drones each. 13 drones each. That's all you'd need.

And it could be like Switzerland where your own... It's your birthright. Your own, you know, like everyone's charged with the responsibility of defending the nation. Oh, that's fantastic. With their 13 armed military drones. Or better still. Our 13 drones can just get us out of there. Like, just that's enough drones to just remove us from the place.

And then we wouldn't need Qantas. I mean, this is looking better and better. All right, I think we've fixed it. Okay, we fixed it. Good. Okay, well, you know, fingers crossed that, uh, no deal from Trump. I, no, but hang on, aren't we going to become the official podcast of the CT group? Oh, well, in which case, I welcome our Orcus overlords.

And, uh, I mean, but isn't the thing, Charles that we've always said that we've had a consistent line on this. Yes, we've been very consistent. We are nothing, if not consistent. It's not about whether or not the submarines ever arrive, because at this point, they're very hypothetical submarines. Like, there are two lots of hypothetical. Australia's future defence posture is a group of submarines that does exist, but which there's no guarantee that will be sold to us or if they are sold to us,

we will actually get, followed by British submarines as yet undesigned. And we've always said, it's not about hypothetical submarines, it's about the deals you do in the meantime. Yes, that's true. And if Orcus would like us not to say that anymore. Yes. We'll put our... We'll put our cryptocurrency code in the episode notes.

All right, Charles, catch you next time. What's your tip? What does the review find in your view? No, no, my tip is it's going to happen. You think August continues? It's really disappointing, but it'll just, Trump doesn't, Trump always chickens out. But if Orcus keeps going, Malcolm Turnbull, we're very, very upset about it. Oh, so there is an upside.

We're part of the Oconicloss Network. Catch you later.