The Chaser Report - Post Election Recap - Chaser Reunited!

Episode Date: May 23, 2022

The election is done, the results are in, and the democracy sausages are exiting the digestive track. To commentate on the outcomes The Chaser reunite. Charles and Dom are joined by Andrew, Chris, Craig, and Chas to scrutinise over the bloodbath on Saturday that was Charles Firth's live election tweets. More recaps all week! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In an election that will determine the fate of the entire universe, there's only one podcast holding politicians accountable. Scott Morrison, Anthony Albanese, who will boom? Find out on The Chaser Report, election edition. Hello and welcome to the election rap edition of The Chaser Report. It is Monday the 23rd of May, two days after female. voters and female candidates stormed into Canberra, turthing out the Morrison government. And here at the Chase Report, what better way to mark the occasion when women stood up

and took back power in this nation by gathering around the podcast table, Charles Firth, Chris Taylor, Craig Roocastle, Chaslett-Chinello, Andrew Hanson and me, Domite, six men. What a celebration, gentlemen. Yeah, yeah, sucked in, Sir Morrison. You aren't the only one with a tin ear. Well, if the libs can be six men, then we can be six men, what the libs are now. Do you anyone watch the election? Did you even like it?

Yes, I watched it, but I watched it with Charles. So my view of what was going on was very skewed by his emotional roller coaster on the night. Yes, it's interesting because my son texted me saying, can you thank Charles and tell him to keep tweeting? Because my son was out. And he said, I'm following the election coverage based on Charles's... And I was like, this is, I don't know if this is, do I say this is a good or a bad thing. It's kind of like, Charles is kind of like the Anthony Green, except that he's drunk and has no data.

No, no, well, the thing is, I take an emotional approach to election numbers. So they come in, you see a number and you emotionally react to it and you tweet out about it. Well, this is it. I mean, I've got your tweets. I mean, we should maybe analyze how good Charles is as an election analyst based on his tweets in the night. He started at about pretty much 6 o'clock. So nothing's being counted there.

Three votes have come in. But he's still emotional already. Yeah. His emotions begin the moment the poll's closed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've got in the booth of Norfolk Island and he's like, I have a terrible feeling. So he's already called it early. Terrible feeling.

What? So who's voting in Norfolk? Is it cows just voting? Well, very conservative cows, according to the results. What was your terrible feeling, Charles? Yeah, Charles, was your trouble feeling about the election or about your life? Well, of course, you know, as an impartial observer to this election, the terrible feeling wasn't that the Libs were holding very well in Bass and Braddon.

It was basically the rural seats in Bass and Braddon that were coming in at that point. There was one booth in Tazzi, the most rural booth and the most rural electorate in the most rural state, and Charles is going, oh shit, this is over. And Braddon actually ended up swinging, I think about 13% to the Libs. It was the only seat in the country that's a big swing. Braddon and Bass. It was almost like election night was produced like a reality show. You know where there's always Mr. X?

You think one contestant's going, but it's sort of, oh, they've pulled the wool over our eyes and it's just a red herring. It was almost whoever came up with the decision to call Braddon and Bass first, just to make it a little bit tense for the, you know, or the Labor fans or Greens fans watching, I thought it made the night almost interesting. I know, no, no. They were so many misdirects.

I mean, the Channel 10 advertising for their show. I thought Julie Goodwin was going to go home at the last. But also, there was a moment there when everyone was absolutely certain that Peter Dutton was going to lose. Well, get to that. Hang on, let's get to Charles's analysis. And he may yet still lose by winning the leadership at the liberal. That'll do.

So Charles has gone from, I have a terrible feeling to, FARC, Labor's not looking good. Yeah. Yeah. So he's called it early. Labor's losing this one. Yeah. How did he spell FARC?

F, triple A RK Triple A rating Triple A FAR Yeah, it is Fuck So so far not too good Then he was like He was looks like

Zimam Shama Filinski Wilson are all in terrible trouble Greens on track to pick up Two to three extra lower house seats This is an incredible election Charles Firth Look at that That was correct

That was really early on One from three Yeah yeah So far That was partly because One of my friends rang me And said that I My previous tweets had made her mum so anxious

that she was unable to come to the party and could I tweet something a bit more positive? Whose mum is getting their election results from more tweets? There's four mainstream television networks all covering the... Well, in the sky as well on. Like, who chooses the first option on election night? Two people in this very conversation, Craig's son and a friend's mother. Well, a follow-up question is, why is Charles being heralded as some kind of genius

when he's just, his tweet basically repeated what every other election coverage had already called at that point. No, that is not true. What is this early? This is still, what, Norfolk Island time? It's 6.30 time, I reckon. 6.30, yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, this is Charles then, next tweet was this is the greatest night in Australian history because he's got Peter Dutton losing to Alley, France. I don't know what, about 12 votes counted at this point. But didn't the ABC, I certainly heard the IBM. had called it at one point. Channel 9 and ABC had both called Dutton losing Dixon. So, again, Charles's repeated information from mainstream sources.

But, yeah, oh, we all had that roller coaster. I was almost prepared to give Skomo the election if Dutton lost. That was my ideal scenario. Do you know what was amazing? When it looked like Dutton and Freidenberg were going, we sat there and looked at the front bench to the Liberal Party. Yes, same. It's fucking amazing.

It is so bereaved. Reft of talent. Yeah. Like, kind of Birmingham was, and Birmingham's in the Senate. So he couldn't be heard, yeah. It was extraordinary. I think even today I saw Bridget Archer being touted as a genuine dignity leadership. And I've always had a bit of time for her.

She was the one that stood up to the party on sort of transgender issues and religious discrimination. So in a way, that's the moderate voice they might need. But like four days ago, would anyone have been talking about Richard Archer's leadership material? Well, I was looking for a potato in the kitchen. So I could sort of take a photo of put out your potatoes and try and it. And no, before I could even find a potato, they didn't have something growing out of it. What's the great problem? They didn't run a teal against Dutton.

They only had the Labor, Ali France is the name? Yep. Like, if you'd tealed against Dutton. Or green. Like, it wasn't the lesson of Saturday. Just put a teal against everyone you hate. Unfortunately, that... I should say, I'm really loving at the moment right now.

I'm loving the education campaign going on amongst liberals about who, are the other liberals because the candidates they're touting to run against Peter Dutton that all people I've never heard of, like Karen Andrews. Who the hell is that? And so it's a really good education campaign to learn about all these liberals you didn't know existed. Hang on, I think Kevin Andrews should come back. Yeah, well, Karen Andrews sounds like a re-reboot of Kevin. It's Kevin Andrews transition. Nobody noticed. He was the trans candidate. Catherine Daves would have been very happy about that. We'll get to her.

The only podcast without UAP ads, the Chaser Report. Charles Firth, then, next call. And again, this is one he got right. He got it right. I guess we should assess his professionalism as a commentator. Would this have been what Antigree would have said? Christina Keneally behind, showing that she's behind in Fowler. And Charles's analysis is ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

I think Anthony said that with him. I think the whole of Australia that was just reflecting a generalised mood, the general will. It wasn't revealing though how much journalists hate Christina Conelli but love Josh Frydenberg, the fact they were both losing at the same time and the separate reactions on the coverage. Like basically you need to have, they need to have a lifeline for journalists about Josh Frydenberg losing. They're all crying and comforting each other. Even the labor people were like we're paying each other on their head and go oh no Josh we love Josh so much and then Christina Conelli only they go to her and it's like oh yeah yeah there's a champagne corks popping

it was a real real if I was Christina Cinellioli I would not have enjoyed the coverage on Saturday night what's your theory on that chaz because is it just because she was not local and parachuted in or did people not really like Conelli before that happened I always thought she was quite good as a parliamentary performer I don't see I I've met her and And I think if you meet her, then you probably wouldn't end up voting for her. She's a horrible person. Charles Perth calls it early. Yeah, she's just a horrible, horrible person.

I just want to say, because given we are going through Charles's tweets right now, if you are Christina Konelli or her lawyers listening to this, remember that that probably means you're a really lovely person. And that in 10 minutes, Charles will say, honestly, I think Christina Keneally is the Prime Minister, we should have asked. Exactly, exactly. All I know is I'm not getting Charles to do my eulogy. That's all I know.

Well, this is, I mean, there was, if you go through Charles's tweet, you can find everything. He says, I'm calling it. It's going to end up being a Labor minority government a few minutes later. Actually, I think Labor might be a slight majority. The poor mum, I'm feeling for the mum at this point, who's still reading Charles's tweets. Yes. That friend never came. Yeah, she never came because I kept on tweeting things back at the door.

But I was sitting next to Charles, watching what he was doing, his method. And he had a notes app, right? And he just kept adding seats and taking seats out based on, I don't quite know what. I think that's what Anthony Green does. What was your source, Charles? Were you just watching one of the main networks? Or do you have phones out with contacts? Yeah, no, I was looking.

No, no, I was just looking at the AEC results. Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah. Because actually, the TV is always about 15 minutes behind the results coming, the data. And so you can just appear like, you know, you've got inside word. Yes. Is that how you appeared? Such as this, I mean, this analysis,

damn, looks like Dutton might squeak home on the preferences of the various Nazi parties. Well, actually, to be fair, that was Andrew's call, I think on Tuesday of last week, was it there were, was it, did you say, 28 Nazi parties running? Andrew, how did you feel about the Nazi performance last night on Saturday night? Yeah, I was a little disappointed not to see any of the Nazis getting. up. There were so many of them on my ballot paper. I mean, it was just seriously an enormous number of. I had to search

it's like finding a needle in a haystack to find the actual liberal and labour parties on this enormous piece of paper full of nutters. So it was just surprising that none of them seem to prevail. It is interesting voting, isn't it? Like, you get there having, you know,

whether you've followed the campaign or not, but assume most people listening to this podcast probably have a level of engagement. You finally get into that little cardboard booth with your pencil and you realize you don't know most of the people running. Or even the parties. You've got it.

There's a minimum of six, I think you need to vote. And after about three, I was done. Who's the pirate party? And I think the reason, like, legalised cannabis has a chance of picking up a Senate seat. It's clear. Well, it's a literal party name. And there was another one called Federal ICACN now party.

So you kind of knew where they stood. Then there's ones like reason or free. And you go, I don't really know what they stand. And for, so, you know, reason is fucked it. I mean, reason used to be called the sex party. Everyone knew exactly what they were all about. Sex.

We were broadly post-sex, but reason, it's a much worse. Well, I don't know about the Fed July cake now, but I don't think I ended up voting for that because... I think they're affronts. Because it was like, I bet you they're not in favour of the Federalai Gets. That's what you start to wonder. With the legalised cannabis party, they're against legalising cannabis. Yeah.

I don't know what these people are. What about those, those acronym parties? Like, wasn't there T-. No, TNL. No, TNL, and I look at it. They support letters? It's the new... TNL is the new Liberals.

They were called the new Liberals, but then the AEC said they couldn't be called the new Liberals. So they're basically what the Liberals would be like if Malcolm Turnbull still ran them. So it would have been actually very popular in the TEL seats. So is Malcolm Turnbull in every seat? I think so. I reckon, though, we need to change the electoral rules to have... Every party has to have a literal name.

So, like, if we've learnt nothing else from legalised cannabis, It's that, oh, people who aren't really engaged. Oh, that sounds cool of it for them. So, like, the Labour Party, weren't called Labor Party, but soft approach to climate action. Yes, I like that. You know, everyone was forced to actually literalise their policy position to make it more easy for punters like us to know who to vote.

But then there'll be a lot of parties called Just in it for the Superannuation. It's also like the Liberal Party's just purged all the Liberals who are actually in the party. And also, wouldn't One Nation have a problem, with the Liberal Party because the Liberal Party would be called the One Nation Party

now? Yeah, well, what would the... Or the Liberal Party literal name would be let's keep the Bilalaya family locked up in the Perth Detention Centre for as long as possible party. And they'd get a couple of votes maybe,

but the rest of us would know where they stand on that issue. Yeah, well, there you go. So, well, Charles, what do we think of Charles as a political analyst? Did he actually end up with it? What was his summary at the night? His final summary, I think he's going...

I think he's kind of right in the fact that he says, basically, it'll probably be a majority because of Western Australia. And he also says, on the plus side, if Dutton retains his seat, he'll be in Canberra a lot, which will make it easier for him to attend federal ICAC hearings. I think you called that right. Speaking about the reality show, it was W.A. that came in and basically decided the whole thing.

I mean, it was, once they went Labor, it was all over. It was pretty much the only state where the predicted swing happened, wasn't it? Yes. Yeah, yeah. Like the swings elsewhere were pretty marginal, but W.A. was a genuine red wall. You know, I don't know if that's a McGowan factor or what. But that was sort of, again, yeah, couldn't have been scripted better to sort of leave the big rush of results right to the end. It was because Scott Morrison said that they lived in caves.

Do you remember that? Oh, the crude. That was what it was. It was a crude. No, she can't call a state the crudes to get reelected. If you actually look at where the lives got hammered, the pandemic had a big effect. Like, Frydenberg's loss is not. not just because of the teals and the climate stuff,

it's because he was seen as a trader to Victoria at the time and some of the others. And similarly with W.A. is they backed Palmer against W.A. And made all these calls. Like, they really got hammered by their position in the pandemic. Charles, why did you put that in a tweet, Joe?

Also, to be fair, the pandemic has killed a lot of coalition voters. Also, I don't want to distract with actual analysis. But, um, but, um, Christina Conelli. I think probably didn't help her that her seat was the centre of the lockdown in New South Wales and Di Lee was the head of the resistance against the lockdown in New South Wales. Yeah, totally, totally. That's the fact. I assume we'll edit out all this serious analysis.

I note that DiLie is a former ABC journalist. I was in the ABC cadet ship intake with Di Lee, which would be 19. Have you got any gossip to spill about it? You know, bring her down? Well, like Christina Kenealy, she's a horrible, horrible person. No, no, she's actually very lovely. She's a lovely person, and it's interesting to see who went further in their journalistic career.

I'm doing a podcast on this Chase the network. She's now an MP. Well, let's leave this here for today. We'll reconvene tomorrow. We'll just all come back tomorrow. It's not as though we're pre-recording a batch of these in one scene. No, no, no. We'll do that.

Aguiz and Road Microphones are part of the AcastCrader Network. Catch you tomorrow with curiously the same people.