The Chaser Report - Quantum Computing (not) EXPLAINED!

Episode Date: October 31, 2023

Charles and Dom discuss how Quantum Computing makes the new Macbook look like the old Macbook. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Chaser Report is recorded on Gadigal Land. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chaser Report. Hello and welcome to The Chaser Report with Dom and Charles. Charles, it's my favourite day. There's shiny, new Apple technology. They've released the M3 chip. M3 Pro and M3 Max. For Apple.

For Apple. Yeah. Apple Max. It's the Apple Macs Max Max. The Apple MacBook Pro Pro. They really need to think about their naming. Because there's a pro pro and a max max, possibly a pro max and a max pro. Are you going to buy one?

I'm very keen to, I mean, I don't know if it's worth the money, but they're pretty amazingly powerful. The things that these things can do, I mean, it's far more than I would need now. It's amazing. It's as though, like, the best computers ever have just been released and I don't know if I can afford one, but very excited about the features. Well, I've got some bad news for you, Dom, because they're already obsolete. Tells they've just been released.

No. These are the best chips kind of ever produced. They've left the Intel world for dead. These are cutting edge. Yeah, they're nothing. They're basically, they're completely out of date. They release them today. They're out of date this afternoon.

How do you figure? These are, like, I want to go and order one. How can you, how dare you ruin my techno last before? I've even bought one of these things. Well, today, Dom, we're going to look at the amazing power of quantum computing. Can I make the point that as Charles said that, he was doing spirit hands with his fingers for a good 30 seconds. We've got to make a video of these podcasts.

They just announced a breakthrough in quantum computing, but this was obviously last week, which means that's probably also out of date. It's moving that fast, but we'll get into it after break. So Charles, people are probably wondering the same thing that I'm wondering. A, what is quantum computing? And B, what are the odds of you being able to explain it clearly?

Okay, well, the first one is very easy, which is nobody knows what quantum computing is. It's actually impossible to know. Nobody understands it. So therefore, I don't have to, because nobody else can. Anyway, if you go to Wikipedia, it says quantum programs rely on precise control of coherent quantum systems. Physicists describe these systems mathematically using linear algebra, complex number model, probability, amplitude, vector model, quantum states and matrices model.

See, nobody understands that. Clearly, what that means is it's impossible to understand. No, Charles, it may just mean that you need a quantum computer to understand what it is. Well, exactly. But luckily, quantum computers now exist. So we don't have to worry about understanding it because they're working. So I interviewed a couple of months ago, or maybe last year. I interviewed last year the 2018 Australian of the year, Professor Michelle Simmons.

Yes. Who's also just won the Prime Minister's Prize for Science. Yes. She's from USW. She's an extraordinary scientist. And Australia is in the lead globally on this stuff. Yes, but I guarantee you she doesn't actually understand it. She's just pretending.

I interviewed her, but she explained it so clearly. Oh, really? So why don't you then explain it then? Let me explain it to you. Okay. So, Charles, think of a maze. Yeah. All right.

Now, traditional computers would have, this is something that early computers used to do, they used to do a mouse maze. What they would do is they'd systematically go through every possible kind of opening. And they'd go, this opening, okay, it doesn't lead to the goal. So I'll go back and try the next opening and the next opening. And they did it in a linear system. Charles, with a quantum computer, you go down all the possible paths at once. Yes.

At once, it's quantum. See? Isn't that amazing? That's what it is. I think that's just made up. I think that you're explaining through analogy. But what does it actually do? Okay, Charles.

Traditional computers. Traditional computers. And I still remember this because it made such a big impression. Michelle Simmons was so impressive. Computers are binary, right? So they view everything in terms of ones and zeros. Everything breaks down into ones and zeros. But with a quantum computer, you can have anything between one and zero,

a full spectrum of infinite possibilities between a one and a zero. But how is that useful? Because if you're trying to solve a mouse maze, child, you can solve all of them at once. Oh, I see. Okay. So that does make sense. And this is why everything's obsolete. Right. This totally makes sense. You've actually managed to do the impossible and explain quantum computing, Dom.

We're the first people. You should get like a Nobel Prize. Oh, the Prime Minister's Prize for it. What I understand, Charles, is that it is capable of doing many, many different things at once in such a way that, for instance, it can crack cryptography. Which is why, yes, exactly. So the point is that if you've got a, say, 256-bit cryptographic code, right? thought that is used to protect, you know, banks. And everything. Every bit of data. Every single piece of cryptocurrency is based on 256 bit data, the entire internet, all the credit cards, all that sort of stuff, 256.

So instead of saying, okay, well, we'll set at this task of going through every possible combination, which is what a computer would do, starting with, you know, one and ending up with 256 bits would be sort of, I don't know, a hundred quintillion different possibilities. it's 2 to the power of 256. Like, it's a fucking fuck ton of numbers that you could go through. What quantum computing has to do is you set at the task of, well, it's somewhere in this maze, and you said it at the task, and it just goes, oh, it's that one,

because it does every single calculation at the same time. So this is the extraordinary thing. That's correct, isn't it? Yeah, so basically what it is. And can I just add to that, which is Grover, not the Sesame Street character, this other guy, came up with Grover's algorithm, right, and he worked out that once you get to about,

1,000 qubits, which is like each quantum computer has a certain number of qubits. So it's worth noting, yeah, explaining what a qubit is. It's the base unit of a quantum computer, whereas traditional computers use bits. Yes. Bites are broken up into eight bits. Yes. And so quantum computers have qubits, quantum bits. And so if you get 1,000 qubits, then you can very easily set at the task of breaking a 256-bit thing.

Like, that's the level at which you can just set at the task. does it instantly, basically. And the breakthrough that happened last week, which, as I say, is probably now obsolete, is that atom computing, which is a firm based in America, unveiled a 1,256 qubit quantum computer. It's now over the level at which you can break basically all cryptography on the internet, right? And all cryptocurrency. So this has huge implications, right? So I always knew crypto was stupid. And so you go, okay. Okay, so presumably everyone saw this coming, right? Sure.

But they didn't, right? Can I explain why? Because the numbers are pretty funny, right? Basically, I'm no mathematician, but I do know, you're talking about a 256-bit encryption. This is the encryption that's state-of-the-art encryption. The fastest supercomputer in the world would take millions of years to crack it. There are so many variables that to do the kind of mouse path thing,

going down every path and eliminating it, it would take millions of years. It wouldn't take me that long. No, it wouldn't take you that long. but a computer. I'm talking about a supercomputer. But then the next level is the 2048 bit key, and that would take 6.4 quadrillion years to crack. On a linear computer.

Which is 6.4,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, 0-00-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0 years. Yeah. So a long time. Which means that, say, even if you got the top line M3 Max Mac, Mac, it would still be quite a long time. It would be impossible. Essentially, it takes so long that it's not even worth thinking. about. However, it would be like ordering something on Uber Eats. It would be like waiting for

a train in Sydney. At some point, and this is what I read when I was researching this, like it takes so long that it's not viable. Like it's not in viable time, basically, they write about it. In the same way that Australia Post, they shouldn't really be called Australia Post anymore. No, because what they, you put a letter in a box and it arrives not in viable time. Actually, just thinking about it, you think maybe that's why Qantas was selling all those flights to flights that didn't exist. The ghost flight. Hang on. Quantus. They were quantum.

They were quantum flights. They didn't exist in this reality. And that's the thing. They existed in some reality. In quantum space time. So Australia Post is actually now Australia trash because you put your letter in the box. And it's as though it was a rubbish bin.

Yes. Anyway, the point is that the quantum computer, by cracking the code in a completely different way than has ever been anticipated before, can crack these codes, at least in 50s. theory, not yet in practice as far as I know, they're going to be able to do it in a feasible time scale. So the thing is, if you look at Grover, like Grover's algorithm, Grover predicted that for a

4,000-bit encryption system, which I think is like the biggest that it goes up to, which is that quadrillions of years, sort of thing, that you would need a quantum computer that is, I think it's got like 40,000 qubits, which is, we're nowhere near that level of qubits at the moment, right? But the sort of stunningly worrying slash amazing thing is that a year ago, no one thought that a thousand cubic computer or more than a thousand cubic computer was on the horizon anytime soon. People assumed that quantum computing would go at roughly Moore's law, which is that you double the number of cubits every 18 months. This is quite shocking because I'm looking at this article here. Yeah. And this is talking about the power of a quantum computer.

with 72 cubits. So far fewer than the 1,000 that you're saying has just been achieved. It can try, for instance, let's say for cryptography, it can try 2 to the power of 72 values at the same time. 2 to the power of 72, I can't even work out what the number is. It's so many digits. It's about 20 digits at once. And that's just 72-cubit quantum computer, not at 1,000.

Yeah, I reckon I could do that in my head. Yeah, you could. Yeah, but, you know, general population. slash linear computers slash the new Macs couldn't do that. Don't want to make it even more confusing after this? The Chaser report. More news. Less often.

So this is the thing I'd forgotten about, Charles. Are you aware of Superposition? Yeah, well, that's... My wife certainly is, eh? Oh, God. I got a quantum computer to calculate just how bad that joke was. Superposition is what Cubits are capable of doing, and it's why they're so extraordinary

and able to solve all these things at once. Because a qubit, unlike a bit, which can only be a one or a zero, a cubit can simultaneously be both one and zero. Right, yes. It's like all that stuff that we learned in like year eight science where it's like light is both a particle and a wave. You know, and that until you actually measure something, you know, it's like shredding his cat.

Like it's both dead and alive until... Yeah. It's like how a movie such as Oppenheimer can be both awesome and absolutely terrible at the same time. Yeah, that's right. It's a quantum movie. So go on. I don't understand it.

I don't know how it does that. I thought there was a point to having a superposition. But it absolutely does your head in. And that's why we should probably... No, but this is why I'm saying. Nobody understands it. Like, and anyone who tells you that they understand it is lying. And therefore, we don't need to explain it on this podcast.

This is why we need Michelle Simmons on the podcast. No, she doesn't understand. And we'll ask her to explain it. Do you know why? Why? Not because she'll be able to explain it. Although, actually, I think she probably could. But because it will stop her developing this computer because it's going to ruin everything.

Yes. Anyway, I've got to get back to this whole. sort of implications, right, which is, so in the last year, quantum computing has managed to have a tenfold increase in the number of cubits in 12 months, right? That's much better than Moore's Law. Which is actually 50 times better than Moore's Law, right? And nobody knows, like nobody knows how fast the progression of quantum computing will happen. Because the whole point about Moore's Law was you could double the number of processes every 18 months because Because you had computers to help you do it.

So you had these increasingly powerful computers to help you design the next generation. With quantum computing, you have increasingly powerful computers that are now 10 times more quantumly powerful than the previous generation. When you say 10 times more powerful, it's not 10 times. It's like, it is some massive number, like 2 to the power of 10 or something. Yeah, yeah, more powerful. So it could just be expansively sort of thing. And to give you an illustration of just how far. things are moving. On February the 1st, the US government, DARPA, which is their sort of

defence and encryption sort of research unit in the US. They're the ones that invented the internet, by the way. They did, yeah, that's right. They did a sort of little deal, side hustle with atom computing, who, it must be said, have only raised five million dollars to build this computer. But they went, hey, guys, we notice you're doing this thing that threatens to destroy encryption. Can you come and be our special partners, right? Can we buy you out and shut you down? Then, one month later, the US government does an executive order

banning all federal agencies from using 256-bit encryption, right? And at this point, there was no quantum computer that was capable, as far as we know, of doing that. It was just like, oh, things are a bit suss. Somebody's eventually going to come up with a 1,000-cubit computer. Then, six months later, Adam Computing, who they'd done this deal, with, you know, a month before the declaration, has already done it. I must say, Charles, I've never been more relieved that the US government is muscling in on a

technology given the alternative. Because this is like AI where things are just being unleashed without any thought of the consequences. This is another massive technological arms race. I'm reading here that IBM's going to have one in 2025 called Cookaburra, shout out to Australia, but they're planning a 100,000-cupid quantum computer, which I don't know what the What fuck would you do with that? Which is probably more powerful than the new Macs.

It'd be amazing for video editing. That might actually be going to make our stuff good. You could do every edit at the same time. Chaz would love that. You could make every possible joke at the same time until you got a good one. But then let's just turn to cryptocurrency, which is, as I mentioned, completely based on 256-bit encryption, right? Like all the signatures that you use to unlock and transfer the.

the thing on the blockchain is done with this. Yeah, we should probably explain in a little bit more detail. So the whole point of the blockchain is that every transaction with Bitcoin that has ever happened is public and it's on the blockchain. And everyone can view the blockchain. So you can see which wallets, which Bitcoin wallets have the most, Bitcoin. And by the way, it's thought that the inventor of Bitcoin has the most and has either died or disappeared and there's this wallet with billions of dollars worth of Bitcoin that

no one is claiming. That was you, wasn't it, Charles? Yeah, that was me. So anyway, Satoshi Nakamoto. Yeah, it's on a hard drive in my bag. So anyway, the point is all these transactions are completely public. But the pitch has always been, but it's completely encrypted. So no one can possibly work out who it is or what's going on,

which is why every, you know, money launderer in the world and Charles got in on it because it was like, well, I know all the transactions are public, but no one's ever going to be able to crack the code until now. Okay, so we now have a computer that can completely destroy crypto. Yeah. Why hasn't crypto completely collapsed? The answer is there is a suspicion that perhaps it's already being cracked. But the whole point is, if it ever actually publicly came out that it had already been cracked,

then the entire crypto market would collapse, right? And so what the theory is, is that what is going on at the moment is that there's a slow trickle of stealing. So instead of stealing whole wallets worth of, you know, what's his name? Satoshi Nakamoto, I think is, isn't it? Instead of stealing his whole wallet, you just steal, you know, 100 million from here, 100 million from there, or, you know, whatever. So no one realises what's going on. Yeah, and no one, and you just do it in dribs and drabs, and you just do it with little wallets and big wallets, but you just take a little slice. Because the thing is, cryptocurrency is only, because it's a Ponzi scheme, you've got to then on-sell it to somebody for it to be worth anything.

You've got to convert it back into dollars, or it doesn't mean anything. So you have no interest in actually crashing it. the market. So what they're doing is they're probably just slicing bits off all the crypto wallets at the moment and on selling it again because they have no interest in actually crashing the market. That is a really interesting and also fantastically undisprovable conspiracy theory. Charles, just as a by the buy, do you know there's actually a crypto coin called Kubit? There is QBIT. It's rallied in recent time. It is worth, and this is a good illustration of why crypto is so shit, it is worth

0.0.0.0.005 US dollars. Since it was launched, it's crashed absolutely abysmal. Which is basically what the new max are worth. Now the quantum computing is over and superseded them. Am I silly if I still want one? Yes. Mind you, I don't think that

the quantum computers come in as wonderful range. Of colour range. Yeah, it's true. It's not about what it can do. It's about how pretty it looks. That's what I like. That's what I want. It can bit. So, Charles, let's link this back to the podcast's new theme for 2023, which is the inshittification of everything. Yes. And I think the thing that's now clear is that thanks to quantum computing, this insidification will happen at quantum speed. It will happen far faster than we could possibly have imagined. And it will be in all states of shittiness simultaneously,

from quite shit to very shit, to entirely 100% shit. Yeah. That is very true. The best thing about this episode is that clearly you and I don't actually understand quantum computing. What I love is that we've asserted that nobody possibly can. So therefore, Charles, we are world experts. Thanks for listening. This was recorded on a quantum supercomputer provided by road and part of the Icona class network. I think we should get it to record every possible Chaser Report podcast. Yes, all the episodes.

Yes. We didn't have to do another one. Every possible episode. Arguably, we're already doing that. Very slow on the boyish process. Catch you next time. See it.