The Chaser Report - Republican Debate Gets Edgy | John Delmenico

Episode Date: October 29, 2023

Dom and Charles are joined by resident Gen Z representative and Chaser.com.au editor John Delmenico. John was forced to watch the US Republican primary debates on Fox to find all the most wild moments from the event, and also to explain what "edging" is. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Chaser Report is recorded on Gatigal Land. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chaser Report. Hello and welcome to The Chaser Report with Dom and Charles. Yes, and to the US where the Republican Party, as we've discussed recently on the podcast, Charles, has been tying itself in all sorts of hilarious knots with their bizarre approach to really running their part of the US government. To tell us more, John Delmenico is here. He's editor of the Chaser website. Hello, John.

Hello, how's it going? I decided to once again watch some terrible stuff. I'm so glad you managed to find an organisation that it's worse run than ours. Yeah, the American government. So the Republican debates have started. Oh, yeah. So I found out the second one was Fox News and aired on Rumble. So I thought, what a perfect time to jump in.

Then on a Fox News debate, posted it on a website that exists because they said that YouTube is too woe. So this is for the presidential primary, right? Yeah. Okay, so there's a million weirdos running. Let's get into it after this. So before we go any further, John, it was a Fox News debate, but it was hosted on Rumble, which is a social network. Yeah, so Rumble for some reason, has all the GOP debates this year.

Yeah, so Rumble, if I remember, is the place where, it's the place where the really extreme opinionists who get cancelled on mainstream platforms go. And so is it like Tweezer or something? It's a live streaming service. It's like Twitch. It's like, I'm into like this debate, the face of the network was Russell Brand. There you go. Oh, great.

Okay. It's actually the part, like, they had a whole new ad campaign that they launched at the Republican debate of like, I'm a Mac, I'm a PC, but it's, I'm woke and I'm not woke. And do you use Rumble or YouTube? Right. Yeah, because there's not a place you go if you feel you've been oppressed by, like, polite conversation. Yeah. Where you can't say what you really think.

And you're not allowed to sexually harass women. Yeah. And you know how, you know how just normally in polite conversation. conversation, you just can't be massively racist these days. There's all these unwritten rules about conversation. That's why Rumble exists. I know, exactly. Well, the good news is the debate, like, it's always

good to start a debate off strong with the hosts, because it really sets the vibe for the whole night. So, here's the intro. And I am thrilled to be sitting alongside my co-moderators Fox News Channel, Dana Perino, and Ilya Colderon. Univision.

Good evening. Thank you. Thank you. Hang on a second. What on earth is Univision, which is the Spanish language broadcaster, doing at a Republican debate? Is that a mistake? It might have been, because she clearly didn't know what she was doing there, because she kept asking questions based on facts. Oh, no, that's not what was recalled.

So the hilarious thing about these, and I haven't watched the debate, so I can't wait to hear some clips. But the entire thing, the entire debate is irrelevant because Donald Trump is obviously going to get the nomination. So I don't even know why they're there. There's like 20,000 people running just to lose to Donald Trump once the votes begin, right? Yeah, there was like seven or eight of them up there, up to the debates because he doesn't need to. And who are they? There was like, so it's very clear that they know who the main characters are because the main characters were like Ron DeSantis, Vivek Ramoswai, who is a businessman who is his first time running for the Republicans.

And then there's like the side characters who are like Mike Pence. The Vice President. I mean, he's just lucky to still be alive, right? Mike Pence should not really be alive. They tried so hard to hang him. What about Nikki Haley? Isn't she? Yeah, she was the last main character.

Right. And when I say my main character is like the hosts knew who to ask questions to. Yeah, right. And who to like let answer questions that they've already asked someone else. That's so good. And if I remember correctly, there's actually a qualification to get into this debate. So there's a bunch of other people running who are even more obscure and have even less of a chance. I think you had to have like 1% in the.

the polls or something to qualify for this? It's like Logan Roy's brother, son in succession. Yes. It's like Conor Roy. The sort of eccentric idiot who's running just for the hell of it and no one pays attention.

And wants to get 1% to be part of the conversation. So Chris Christie had to work really hard to qualify, I think, for instance. Yeah. Well, I mean, one thing the individual person did point out is that based on how the polling goes, because all these people are saying they're never going to drop out of the race, which means that Trump will win because they're

splitting the vote too much. Yes. No, that's not preferential. So Trump can just waltz through his way ahead of every specific person. And so the university was like, please just drop out. And so it's one Republican versus Trump. So they're staying in mainly for the honor of being able to be hosted on Rumble. Is that the main prize?

Charles, you should start a Rumble channel. Yeah, I think I will. No one will shut you up there. Well, not only getting Rumble, but also to try to be the new Trump. Because Trump got famous through his debates when he was called. and people ugly and accused Ted Cruz's dad of killing JFK during the 2016 primaries. That was so great.

So they all wanted to be the EU Trump. Yeah. So they're all trying to say outrageous things for sound bites, right? Donald Trump failed on this as well. He said he was going to build a wall across the whole border. He built 52 miles a wall and said Mexico would pay for it. Guess what? I think if Mexico knew that he was only going to build 52 miles,

they might have paid for the 52 miles. In the buildback broker plan, he called it a buildback better. plan. Look, I do disagree with something Tim Scott just said. Joe Biden doesn't belong on a picket line. He belongs on the unemployment line. I tell you what's going to happen. You keep doing that. No one up here is going to call you Donald Trump anymore. We're going to call you a Donald Duck. Whoa. Sick burn. Singers. Has Bill Shorten been moonlighting for? And that was mostly Chris Christie right, who's probably the better media performer of any of them, but has less chance than poor and worse than anyone else, doesn't he? Yeah. So it was weird because like Chris Christie.

really wanted to be the new Trump in terms of the insults. But at no point did anyone, like they clearly wrote the jokes, but never tested them on anyone. Because they weren't even working in the Republican room. So, like, even their audience was like, I acknowledge that that was a joke, but it sucked.

But also, it's also possible that if we're talking about the very niche far-right Republicans, they may not have gotten some of these jokes. Like, they might have gone Donald Duck. Yeah, what's that got to do with Donald Trump? Like, they might not have realized the connection. Well, of course, debates aren't all about Zingers, and there are questions, but the questions didn't really go well because they had a unique way of answering the questions. I am sick and tired of these mass shootings happening in the United States of America.

If I'm president of the United States, I'm going to go to the Congress of the United States, and we're going to pass a federal expedited death penalty for anyone involved in a mass shooting so that they will meet their fate in months, not. years. You are not going to live out your days behind bars. You're going to meet justice in this system. But does that mean Obamacare is here to stay? That's the question I had. Apart from

couldn't you ban the guns? Wouldn't that be something that might work? Who was that, by the way, John? That was Mike Pence. Yeah, I thought it might have been. Getting interrupted by the Fox News host, because that is how every question went, pretty much. They would ask a question. But the question wouldn't be the exact sound. bite they're playing to say.

So they would just ignore the question and just go on about whatever they want to say. That's so funny because there was so many people on the stage. Yeah, they probably had only about five chances to speak. So they just did their lines. I can't wait to find out, John. Is Obama here here to stay? He actually didn't end up answering that question. Not that it matters.

Mike Pence has about as much chance of being president as you, John. I've got some of the answers to the questions, though, because actual policy is what matters here. So the very first question asked was to Tim Scott asking, would he fire all the the union auto workers. What do you reckon his answer to that would be? Oh, see, that's hard, though, because won't they want their votes? But he has to be in the union, so...

I imagine he'll just shoot them all dead. I think that's probably the model he'll take. Yeah, it'll be a problem. It'll be about, yes, I'll legalise more guns. That'll be the answer. Well, his answer was that they're not all, they don't all work for the government, and that's why Biden should go to the border.

Oh, I'd say. They just segue to the border. Yeah. Yeah. And so he just completely avoided it. So will you sack the workers? No, but illegal immigrants are bad. Yeah.

Yeah, right. Because you said no, Charles. No, no, you don't say no. The answer was just illegal immigrants are bad. Yeah, right. Okay. Yep. So there was the Univision person, again, asking a question that should not have been asked

to this person. She asked Mike Pence about the rise in LGBTQ hate crimes in America and what he would do as president to stop them, which makes no sense if you know anything about Mike Pence. Yeah. Yes. But what do you reckon his answer to that would be? His answer would be, I assume you mean stop them from occasionally failing and ensure that they get 100% kill rate.

Is that the aim here? I reckon he will have talked about, because Mike Pence was very activated by public toilets, remember? Yes, that's right. So I think it would be some sort of vow about making toilets, not unisex. Oh, hang on. What about this? He's going to pray on it. He's going to pray on it.

He's going to pray on it. He's going to pray on it. It's got to be that. No, Charles was closest. His answer was to ban trans-affirming care. Oh, of course. So to increase trans hate... Was that the premise of the question?

Is there not enough trans hate at the moment? Well, he did mention during... He's like, my job as president is to protect everyone. But then he obviously didn't want to say, we should stop doing hate crimes, so he just started talking about trans issues. Doug Bergman got asked what his plan to stop mass shootings is. What do you reckon that would be?

Well, firstly, I have no idea. I've been following this with a degree of course. I've no idea who that is. But did you say Bugman? It sounds like a sort of weird superhero. He had to beg to be asked questions. This will be a complete non-secreture. It'll be about making sure coal miners can keep mining coal.

I'm going to take banning flag burning for $100, please, John. You're both wrong. We need to thank cops more. Yes. Go up to them, give them handshakes, and that'll stop the mass shootings. Yep, that'll do it. That and killing the mass shooters really quickly. was the other answer, right?

Well, that was Pence's answer. Yeah, which... Although one thing that's been pointed out is most mass shooters themselves in the shooting. They die, yeah, they die. Yeah, well, it's a very expedited death, that said. It's death by cop. Or death by themselves. Or death by themselves.

So what we need to do is, if everyone has semi-automatic rifles, then presumably when someone starts a mass shooting, they'll be gunned down very quickly too. So we just need everyone to constantly have AK-47s all the time, aren't we? Isn't that the model? Yes. Including school kids, including they should all have... It's a very moderate...

I don't think you do very well in the Republican primaries with such a moderate view on guns. Speaking of moderates, I'll give you a choice. I'm going to give you a multiple choice one for this one. Former UN ambassador, Nikki Haley, she said that she is sick of working with the Mexican government about the border. So which of these was not part of her plan on stopping immigration from Mexico? A, banning birthright citizenship.

B, invading Mexico Or C, banning trade from China And declaring them as terrorists So what was not part of her plan So two out of three were That's really hard Two of those three were They're all sensible policies

I think the one involving China Is the one that she didn't say Because I would have thought invading Mexico Would be something that Like the room would have gone Finally someone said it Yeah, I must say I'm on with Dom on this It's got to be China

No, that is part of her plan Oh, it's a non-secondor, of course. The one that isn't third plan is birthright citizenship. Okay, ending birthright citizenship. That's interesting. That was Vivek's plan. Right. Which is, yeah.

He is also someone who has a birthright citizenship. Right. Of course he does. Yes. But yeah, Nikki Haley, even when the Foxxie's person asked, would that include troops on the ground and drone strikes? She said we need to pull, we need to not put anything off the board. Sure.

So if you, so anyone listening, because most already it's Australian, and we know that we follow America into any wars, Yeah. If you're wondering, we don't have enough war right now. If we can just get Nikki Haley into Presidentship, we'll be standing drone strikes to Mexico. Well, I just, as long as we make Mexico pay for the drones, that's the thing that matters.

Yes, exactly. I wouldn't do it if they weren't going to pay for it. The Chaser Report, now with extra whispers. The education debate got very heated, though, and also very weird with this exchange between Chris Christie and Mike Pence. This public school system is no longer, run by the public. It is run by the teachers unions in this country. And when you have the President of the United States sleeping with a member of the teachers union, there is no chance

that you could take the stranglehold away from the teachers union every day. Because my way of full disclosure, Chris, you mentioned the president's situation. My wife isn't a member of the teachers union, but I've got to admit I've been sleeping with a teacher for 38 years. And that is the most human thing Mike Pence has ever said. I didn't know mother was a teacher. That's, that's lovely. Yeah, so that's, that's how the education debate went. Sacking hell. Guys clarify, is presumably Jill Biden's, if Joe Biden's being having an affair with a teacher, that would be, that would be pretty extraordinary. Yeah, Jill Biden is a member of the teachers' junior. So this isn't a Bill Clinton situation, sadly. But the education

debate did also hit a great point when Ronda Santas suggested banning Confucius from all schools and universities. Okay. Why? Because he gives silly advice in the playground. No, that'd be too logical. It's just anti-China stuff.

Oh, I see. Yes, fair enough. Yeah, it's got a ban Chinese takeaway as well. Yeah. There was one question that got me as a Gen Z person very excited, though. Oh, yeah. Mr. Ramoshwame, TikTok is banned on government-governed-issued devices

because of its ties to the Chinese government. yet you join TikTok at the dinner with boxer and influencer Jake Paul. Should the commander-in-chief be so easily persuaded by an influencer? So the answer is I have a radical idea for the Republican Party. We need to win elections. Right. So the Republicans are on TikTok now. Wow.

With the first Republican video being a dance video with Jake Paul. Oh my God. Does that promise to find he's going to win this thing, isn't he? He's going to. So his whole plan to beat Trump and to beat the Democrats is to win over the youth vote on TikTok. And when he announced he's going to do this, he said that he was going to read the comments for what his future videos will be. And on the comments on the first video was, you're not ready for the TikTok comments, which he said, I am ready for. Bring whatever you got.

Oh, this is the best traveling opportunity ever. Like, let's just listen to his clip about border security. The northern border is absolutely. a real concern. The southern border is also absolutely a real concern. So some people say build the wall. I've got a little bit of a different take. I say build both walls. So the threat of Canada is looming large. Is it? Wow. Yes. So clearly that's a perfect solution except for the one issue of Alaska also being open to Canadian terrorists. Yes, yes. But what would you think the TikTok comment section on that video would be like? I hope it's full of amazing trolling

trolling ideas that are genuinely funny. Otherwise, I lose my face. Either or Chinese bots will. It'll be... I've always said, you know, make friends with China. Wouldn't it be a campaign against Canada? Well, there's comments on every video. So we're getting great engagement.

The top comment is, I edge to you, bro. Oh. Which if you don't know what edging is, that is when you jack off, but you stop at the point of blue balls for a while. And then you keep going. That sounds like the kind of thing Mike Pence would have done as a teenager. And then, so let's just, so on his video about climate change and how coal is a solution to climate change, because we can use more air conditioning. The top comment is, I edge to Vivette.

The second comment is, best edge of my life. Dude, I edge to you on another video. The top comment is Vivek, I edge to you, Loveheart. Vivek, when is the jackoff instructions coming? So every single video, there are thousands of comments that are just people saying that they're jacking off and etching to the back. He wanted to generate youth interest. He clearly has. Yeah, yeah.

I do want to go back to the concept that his climate plan was to have more coal and therefore more air conditioning. So it doesn't matter how hot the planet gets because you can get more air conditioning and just go indoors. Is that it? Well, yeah, he also claims that green energy kills more people than climate change. Oh, everyone knows that. Yeah. Yeah. But I did notice one small floor in his plan to bring on the youth vote.

What do you reckon would be the worst policy for bringing in youth? More funding for aged care. Taking away their mobile phones in public schools. Chris Min's in New South Wales. Yeah. All right. You are close. He does want to ban TikTok for people under the age of 16.

But that is not the major policy people are annoyed with. He originally wanted to raise the voting age to 25. Wow. Wow. But he's walked that back to being, you need to do a civics course to vote if you're under 25. Wow. So for some reason, running on the platform of taking away the youth vote has not energized the youth vote. Except for the nerds. The nerds are allowed to vote. Actually, I don't mind that. He should ban edging.

So I think it's safe to say that with Vivek being like one of the top candidates, we are looking at a Trump Biden election in 2024. So you say that, John, but I reckon there's every chance of a Trump Ramoswamy campaign, of Ramoswamy being the vice presidential nominee. He was the only one to compliment Trump. Because if there is one person who knows about getting people's hopes up and then dashing them, it is Donald Trump. Wait, so is that what an edge lord is? Well, John, thank you very much for that update. It sounds like the US election next year is going to be, well, it's going to be entertaining.

Like, for once we'll have something that's not just depressing, but actually depressing and entertaining. Well, that we could run on there, hope so. Now, Charles, you and I are angry white middle-aged men. Let's go and watch some rumble. Oh, yeah, I'm logging on now. Our Gears from Roe, we are part of the Iconiclass Network. Thanks, John. See you tomorrow.