The Chaser Report - Rotten House Trial

Episode Date: November 23, 2021

The Chaser's in-house depressant supplier Aleksa takes an upsetting look at the Rittenhouse trial, and tries to unpack why America decided that sometimes murder can be legal. Meanwhile Dom attempts to discuss the Tim Paine sexting scandal with co-hosts who don't even know what cricket is. Plus Gabbi accidentally finds herself in the middle of a battle between two towns competing for her approval. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today's episode of The Chaser Report brought to you by Small Talk. Are you, you're going to level five? Oh, yeah. I'm four. Oh, right. What are you, are you, are you an accountant as well? Uh, no. Oh, big building.

Oh, yeah, that's. And yet we're here in this elevator together. Right? Yeah. It is not moving. Thank you for your patience. Your call is important. Can't take being on hold anymore?

FIS is 100% online, so you can make the switch in minutes. Mobile plans start at $15 a month. Certain conditions apply. Details at FIS.ca. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is the Chaser Report. Hello and welcome to the Chaser Report for where. And so the 24th of November, Charles is still gallivanting around the country

with his war on 2021 tour. So we have Alexa Vulevich, Gabby Bolt, and me still, Domnoy. Hey. Now, I want to talk about something that happened on Friday, but which is still bubbling away. It's a massive story. It was breaking news across the country. But having heard the sponsors that the two of you recorded last week about cricket,

I now think that you are the two worst possible people to talk about. I would love to be able to say that. that was acting and we wrote that intentionally, that we didn't know anything about cricket. But you sure you've heard the story about Tim Payne? I have no idea who that is. Sounds like a bad man. Seriously?

Do you know, hang on? I thought I played a video game when I was a kid called Tim Payne. Max Payne. So not joking. Do you know who Tim Payne is? No, not at all. You honestly don't. We honestly have no idea who Tim Payne is.

The last Australian cricketer I remember is Steve Waugh, and that was 2006. So. Right. Well, what was Steve Waugh's job? He played. Boy, did he play cricket. He was the captain of the Australian cricket team, the men's cricket team.

Yeah. Am I wrong? That role, that role is now held by Tim Payne. At least it was until Friday, right? Do you remember the thing with the sandpaper? Were you aware of that? Yes, yes. Yeah, you know, he built a ball or something in his pocket.

So there was, so the captain before Tim Payne was called Steve Smith. Okay, yep. He was involved, implicated in this whole thing of the, Manpapering the ball. I believe it was called ball tampering. Ball tampering. Yes, good stuff. Alex.

I see. At least somebody here knows that stuff. Anyway, so in order to get us through that period, they have controversy and several the best players getting suspended, they chose a guy called Tim Payne. He was going to be the new captain. He was going to be the man with ethics and integrity. Right. Who was going to just get us through it and it was all going to be fine.

And you know what? Tim Payne did an amazing job. He rebuilt the side back together. Okay. They started winning, and it was all amazing. And so Australian cricket owes or owed a huge debt to Tim Payne for steering us through those very tough years. Good for him.

Except that. It turns out, Tim Payne, the year before this in 2017, was involved in a sexting scandal with a co-worker at Cricket Tasmania. All right, there's one thing I do know about cricket, and it's that Shane Warren had a similar issue. Am I correct? Someone about sexting. Endlessly, endlessly sexting.

You think that they just take their phones away. I mean, the one thing that can be said for Warnie is that back in the day you couldn't send dickpicks. Yeah, you had to draw them in eight bit. Yeah, I think he eventually managed to figure it out how to do it. Yeah, in snake. This is the whole thing. So they had a huge investigation after this whole thing with Tim Payne, the following you in 2018, and they covered the whole thing up.

They didn't go public at all. Right. And he got to be captain for three years. and then eventually on last Friday he resigned and just it was all going to come out in the media and so he quit. Just hold on a second because to clarify this, there's nothing really inherently wrong with sexting.

Are we talking sexting here? Are we talking like unsolicited sexting? Well, this is the weird thing. We don't really know because part of the exchange, they actually said, and they're quoted in the telly on the weekend, it was something like, we're going to be in such trouble if this gets out. Yep, here we are. Sounds like unsolicited.

All I know was, it was enough for the cricket captain to resign ahead of the all-important series against England, which is called London Derby. Oh, that's good. Wimbledon. This is really hard work. I actually wish Charles was here because he knows about cricket. I just think we should stop men. Men, period of general. It's the only way it's going to get the job done.

We clearly can't trust people to just ask before they send a picture of their penis. I mean, I think, let's find a middle ground here. Third strike and you cut off your balls. On today's show, just to lift the mood. We're going to look at the Kyle Rittenhouse affair. Alexi, you've been preparing a bit of a chat on that. Oh, yeah, happy times all round. And Gabby, look, I don't want to raise awkward topics, but...

Oh, well, after the whole penis discussion, I think we're in the clear here for awkward topics. Yeah, what's up? You were looking to be the face of Bathurst in Central West Tourism. Not sure you could say I was looking to be that. Grathis was looking to have you as its face. Yeah. Turns out there's other towns in the Central West. Want a piece of the Chaser action?

I am all ears. It's all coming up right after we check in with Beck in the Chaser Newsroom. As conspiracy theorists grow around the world, a local theorist longs for a much more sane era back when conspiracy theories were about the simple things, like Obama putting chemicals in the water to turn frogs gay. Apple has announced a revolutionary new product, the I-Fix-It-Myself, which allows users to finally fix their phones themselves

rather than being forced to take out a mortgage on repairs. The new product comes in two models, the I-Fix-it-Myself Pro and the I-Fix-at-Myself Plus, which are identical, aside from the $200 price difference. Finally, Grace Tame has broken down barriers as she officially becomes the first Australian of the year that people can actually remember. Previous Australians of the year, such as, um,

the previous Australians of the year, have congratulated Tame on this momentous achievement. That's the latest headlines from the Chaser Report. I'm Rebecca Deunamuno. Oh, I remember Ash Barty. She was the one. I love her. She's great. Thank you for your patience. Your call is important.

Can't take being on hold anymore? FIS is 100% online, so you can make the switch in minutes. Mobile plans start at $15 a month. Certain conditions apply. Details at Fizz.Ca. Today's episode of The Chaser Report, brought to you by Small Talk. Oh, you got a big weekend plan? Not really, just...

Oh, sorry. Just a lot of packets of books. I thought it was just, like, normal, it's not a lot. Uh, okay, no, I suppose not. I, I, I, I, I brought my Woolworth's Rewards card. Oh, four I even had to ask. Yeah, that's... Like, I shop, I shop here a lot.

Fucking weird. As the podcast evolves, different members of the team develop specialties, and Alex's one has been incredibly depressing news stories, analyzed in detail. Just near the end, we just kind of go, Fuck. That's just the traditional outro now, too, Alex, a bit. What have you got to lift the mood today? No, this one's happy. Oh, yeah?

This is a story of freedom, guys. This is about someone. I don't believe you at all. No, it's, so this weekend, Kyle Rittenhouse, he became a free man. Oh, Alex. Okay, for those who weren't following the story, what did you do again? He's a kid, 17 years old. Last year, took a semi-automatic gun across state lines, saw Black Lives Matter protest,

and then he shot, killed two people, shot a third, and yeah, that's about it. So he's got a rationale. So he traveled all this way to protect a car dealership from being vandalized. What was with the car dealership that it needed someone, an underage idiot to travel across table and to defend it? What was the logic? I think it's just Americans love private property and you've got to shoot some protests. And car, oh, actually, cars. Admitted, yeah.

Robbery in cars specifically, right? But it's, yeah, it's a weird, like, cuck move. I feel like if I, if I went to a protest and killed murdered a bunch of people. Which, you know, it's a very rational and normal thing to want to do, isn't it? Yeah, well, I mean, I think it's more rational than bloody protecting some random car dealership. I would have been like, I went there because I want to be a tough guy and kill people. But, like, admitting that you're there to protect some person you don't know is car dealership. It's just, fuck.

It's just kind of like, how did that provide a strong enough legal defense to get, off completely not guilty. No, it's absolutely wild. But the trial was very bizarre, and that's how we got off. I mean, on the ground, to be fair, it is a murky situation in the sense that a kid brings a rifle to a protest and then claims self-defense if anyone intimidates him. But the protest is a kid with a rifle in a country that's, you know,

famous for mass shootings. And they're like, we've got to rush to disarm this, like, psychopath kid. And so obviously, you know, violence is. going to ensue and then the court has to decide. Is that what happened? So the people he shot were trying to take his gun away from him because they were worried he's going to shoot people. Well, yeah, you know, they were very irrationally

worried he was going to use the gun that he used. That seems ironic. He shot a guy who was chasing him being like, hey, you shot that guy. Look, the court put that all to rest. That's all he say because we had witnesses. And almost all the witnesses in the written house shootings were journalists who worked for far right

websites. No, they were. The big one, this dude called Drew Hernandez. So he delivered, edited footage of one of the shootings of the first victim and was trying to characterize the processes as like a mob of rioters. Oh my God. And then when the prosecution started cross-examinating him, he kind of admitted, oh, it's not the raw footage, it's edited. And they're like, you know, why would you edit it?

Like, what's your day job? What do you do? And he's like, oh, I'm a influencer and commentator for a website called The Real Voice of America. I don't know. Real America's voice. Sorry, it's like this far right website. And he's trying to, the prosecution's trying to establish this guy's, you know, maybe got a bit of conflict of interest. The judge interrupts him. And he's like, this is not a political trial. So let's not bring politics into this. And that line of questioning ended, which is...

So they couldn't bring up any ulterior motive of exonerating the defendant? Yes, yes, exactly. Right, okay. Yeah. And so it's super bizarre as well. So just for an understanding of who this key witness is, here's a clip of him being an impartial citizen just on the stage at a Trump rally, definitely not inciting violence. Because we will not go down without a fight.

We will not go down without bloodshed. Oh, my. Put him in a courtroom to exonerate someone who shoot someone. Yeah, he's just like screaming for bloodshed, but apparently not a political trial, not relevant, forget about it. Oh. But it goes even crazy It's not just the witnesses

It's the judge himself So at one point during the trial The judge's phone goes off You forgot to put it on silent And here's what happens And if the court makes a finding That the actions that I had talked about Were done in bad faith

So I don't know if you guys recognize it The song he has as his ringtone is a song called God Bless the USA by Lee Greenwood. And it's a famous song for another reason. It's one of Trump's main campaign songs. And here's a clip of Lee Greenwood playing it live at Trump's inauguration. Who's the man? Probably the two dead people in Kenosha.

I remember from the Trump inauguration, he tried to get all these huge acts, and they all said no. And so he got like Toby Keith, who's also just an idiot, like far right country star. And bizarrely, three doors down, the band behind Cryptonite. Jesus.

What, kryptonite? Yeah. Out of inauguration. No, the only band that would say, yes, like the only famous band that wasn't just some weird... You still call me Superman, those guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They were like, it's a gig. We're being offered a gig. Well, you still call me Uber Man. Point being, yes, a person who has that as a, as their ringtone is clearly a pro-Trump figure. And in America, you have Trump judges and Democrat judges and every judge is massively compromised by whoever nominated them, right? Yeah, but apparently that's, according to them, that's fine. Democracy. It's built into the system.

I mean, to be fair, it wasn't just the right-wingers who were getting the laughs in court. So Fox News had a bit of a field day when the prosecutor did something, which is apparently quite silly, he took Carl Rittenhouse's gun and did a demonstration in the court to be like, here's his positioning, this is why he was like initiating it, and it blew up on Fox News because the prosecutor had his finger on the trigger, and that's like a big no-no for gun safety. And everyone in America's like, he became like the perfect stand-in for a hypocritical, woke guy. He's like, you want to take away my guns, but you don't even know how to use them safely without the irony that. this is a case about a guy who used that gun to murder people at a protest. Yeah, I mean, look, very good point. He shouldn't have had his finger on the trigger. I mean, that's an extremely bad idea.

So, yeah, very bad call, but yeah, not exactly the same as fucking shooting people, but no reason. With that same gun. Which I'd argue is also pretty unsafe. Yeah. An unsafe way of using it as well. So he was really just emulating the real deal. No, no, no. No, putting your finger on the trigger is wrong, but getting people on self-defense is absolutely fine.

It's constitutional right. Yeah, fair enough. Exactly. I mean, that's the insane bit because, like, the trial can be as, as weird as you want and can be all these like strange facts but at the end of the day everything's legal like it's a much bigger problem in america that it's just the laws themselves that are fucked you rock up anywhere holding a semi-automatic and that's fine and then you got stand your ground which means you're allowed to use lethal force if someone scares you

and like just the combination of these things just mean that people are just going to keep doing this insane violence because it's allowed yeah you can just shoot people with no recrimination does happen here yeah but what's what's even crazier it's not just that you won't get punished. This case sets a different precedent because now Carl Rittenhouse is a bit of a celebrity and like just after his like not guilty verdict, you've got all these Republicans competing to show how much they love him and they're even offering him jobs now. So you've got Representative Matt Gates of Florida offering Kyle an internship on live TV. You know what? Kyle Rittenhouse would probably make a pretty good congressional intern. We may reach out to him and see if he'd be interested in

helping the country in additional ways. In additional ways to murdering two people. Yeah, with all the good work he's been doing so far. What the fuck? They're unfixable, aren't they? Oh, it's just, yeah, it's wild. I think I'm just happy we're here watching. You sadistic, sadistic man.

Yeah, I mean, it is one of those things where you think holy shit America really is very, very different. And if you live there, the chance, I mean, there's a non-trivial chance of you're just getting randomly shot in a way that isn't the case here. Yet? I mean, that's not a comedy point. But again, that's not what you bring to the table, like that? Is that 40-year-old whiskey still under the studio desk, or do you want me to pop out and get some?

Let's do what Kyle would do and take a shot. All right. Thank you for your patience. Your call is important. Can't take being on hold anymore. FIS is 100% online, so you can make the switch in minutes. Mobile plans start at $15 a month. Certain conditions apply.

Details at fizz.com. Today's episode of The Chaser Report, brought to you by Small Talk. So, guess what? What? I'm officially growing cherry tomatoes. Oh, how do you make that official? I mean, I'd put it in the crown last week. Right?

In my... Did somebody come and give you like a certificate or something? Don't be silly. No, I just, it's on my balcony. Okay. Just before we go, on yesterday's podcast, Gabby announced that she's potentially becoming a local hero of Bathurst, the face of Bathurst, Miss Bathurst, 2021, whatever the title is that you have.

It's not Miss Bathurst. It's just I will be one of many local heroes. Queen of Bathurst. Who do you share the mantle with? I don't know yet. They haven't announced it yet. But you know what's crazy? I had to send Daniel who runs the tourism industry in Bathurst and email to give him a

heads up that we actually talked about it yesterday and he wrote back, this is wonderful. I'm really delighted we get a mention on the podcast. A Chase of Road Trip would be super fun. I would have to dig out my favorite ever chase of front page in brackets, which I think I still have at home somewhere. This guy's a massive fan. Yeah. So you listen to the interview yet because he actually adds no. He hasn't listened to the interview yet. But I think we've ruined your chances. I think I'm building rapport here. I think we can actually take the podcast to Bathis. I know you don't want to do it, but I think we can do it. Well, there's a complication here, Gabby. What do you mean?

Emily's gotten in touch. And she's from Orange. Oh, no. And she said, I just listened to this morning's podcast in horror. Oh, no. And the town of Orange would very much like the chance to prove that we're better than Bathurst. Oh, no, I've done it again. So get this.

We would like to offer the team an accommodation and wine package because there are vineyards in Orange. Hello. As bribery, I mean, no, an opportunity to showcase our lovely thriving region. And she says, if you're not interested, when you come to Bathurst, we're just going to put roadblocks up. so you come to Orange instead. Okay, so here's what I'm hearing is this. In the interest of A, getting a break because we never do at this office,

and B, finally settling this debate that has gone longer than I've been alive, I think we need to spend a week in Bathurst and a week in Orange, and they can do whatever they want for us, and then we can determine at the end of it. I mean, I'm not really in the interest of betraying my hometown, but, I mean, Bathurst hasn't offered me a free winery yet. I'm just going to say two things. Firstly, not a week, maybe a day.

Oh, come on, you've got to give it the full experience. Alex, are you on board? Yeah, yeah. I just, they're not mutually exclusive, are they? Like, we can't do both. We might have to pick one. Do they need to know? Well, I think what we need now, though, is Bathis need to offer something as well. Yeah, Bathis, what's your counter?

Bathis, come on, babies, I know you can do it. You raised me for 25 years and I'm still alive. You could come up with something good. Come on. There's also something I haven't confessed, Gabby. Yeah. Which is that my cousin and my aunt live in Orange. And you would put your loyalty with them over me?

I'm team orange. I'm really sorry. And not only that. This divides us. One of the chaser team actually got married in Orange. Okay, Bathurst, you got to pull through for me here, all right? So pull out all the stops, get all the gold that doesn't exist in the rivers anymore and just, come on, give us an offer we can't refuse. Get in touch.

Make it a central west tour. Koura, I know you're getting Chris Hemsworth involved, but you throw up something. I want a tour, regional tour. Regional. Come on. Regional tour. Well, I guess the real question is, what will the Central West offer for the whole podcast to relocate? I mean, to be fair, Forbes is not at its best at the moment. My mum's from Forbes, don't you dare say another word. Forbes has had flooding. It's been tough for them.

They don't need us ruining things. We can do the podcast on the river. Floating podcast. Yeah. Aguze from Road Microphones. We're part of the ACAST, Creator Network, and available, the Central West town that puts in the best beer. Catch you tomorrow. Thank you.