The Chaser Report - Should Men's Sport Exist? | CHASER TALKBACK

Episode Date: August 17, 2023

For our second episode of Chaser Talkback Charles and Dom open the phone-lines to our dear listeners and ask "should men's sport exist?" We think we solved this one too. Lookout for future recording sessions of Chaser Talkback on Thursdays as 3pm AEST! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Chaser Report is recorded on Gatigal Land. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chaser Report. Hello and welcome to The Chaser Report with Dom and Charles on the very special occasion of the second time we've ever attended the revolutionary art of Talkback Podcast. Yes, yes. There was such a great response last week that we thought we'd try it again here and now. I can see people already logging into the Zoom. It is 3pm on Thursday afternoon. Let's hear from the people after this. Now, Charles, you and I are recovering from the emotional roller coaster of last night at Stadium, Australia.

Big thanks to Paul, once again, who gave me a ticket to the game at the last minute. Paul, what a delightful human being you are. And it was, look, it was an amazing game for all of eight minutes, wasn't it? The eight minutes in between Sam Kerr's Equalizer and England's goal, which broke Australian hearts. Oh, it was horrible. The whole game, except for the, yeah, that brief indelude. It was so stressful. I actually left the stadium with a sore neck.

Really? Because I was so stressed the whole time. It was really nice beforehand when they were warming up. That was a great part of the game. I love that. That anthem was actually better than usual. Oh, yeah. I belted it out.

Yep. God save the Queen or King, whatever it is. I liked the way they did, you know, the traditional thing with the, the, you know, your camera torches that they've been doing for a hundred. Oh, yes, yes. Although Chris Martin, who's English, and I really think that was very biased to have Chris Martin in there, very unimpressive. Yes.

So that was, that was all very pleasant. Then the game started. Oh, my God. Oh, how awful. Oh, the tension. Well, they were tense, too. You could see the tension in the Matilda's as we went together. But what an amazing juggerna, 11.1 million people watched the game.

The biggest, oh my God. Biggest events since the current regime of ratings for TV started in 2001. Cathy Freeman got more under the old system. And that wasn't even including opt-to-sport viewers, all those watching at live sites or heroes like us who are at the game. I think it was the game that stopped the nation. It was the game that stopped a nation. Apparently 300 people watched Hard Quiz,

which is very strange. 300,000 people watched it. Oh, around 1,000? That was Barnaby Joy. Very strange. He probably thought that the game was later on. Yeah, he really enjoyed the 1996 Women's World Cup. Anyway, so our question to the listeners assembled here in the Zoom,

it's a very simple and obvious one at a point where the Matildas have smashed the ratings record and, to be honest, done something that hasn't been seen since Kathy Freeman, also a female athlete. And that is, it's time to ask the big question, Charles, the big question, the question that's really in all of our hearts today. Which is, very simply, should men's sport even exist? Yeah, I mean, it's time to just give the game away. That's my perception.

But maybe people on the Zoom will be able to change our mind. Should we just put men's sport out of its misery? Certainly no funding. I think no viewers may as well cancel the competitions, but the NRL's been on death store for a very long time. I mean, NRL, like, but what does the state of origin, which is the biggest NRL thing get? It gets maybe what, 1.7 million or something on a good year,

maybe 2 million. That's like less than a fit. They don't fill the stadium. And what does it stand for again? National, what does the R stand for? Charles in National, it's rapist, isn't it? Yeah, the national rapists. So look, all the problems of men's sport are well known.

It's tired to put it out of his misery. That's our perspective. But maybe you have a different view. I think first up, we have Emily joining the Zoom. Hello, Emily. Hello. So what's your opinion? Should men sport exist or not?

Is there any place for it? Yeah. Obviously, we're talking. like under 10s because men like little boys playing sport that's all very well and cute that's fine but once it starts to get serious i don't know there's really room for men however i'm thinking that men like like to be involved they could possibly be cheerleaders well because i can look after the kids so their wives can be involved in sports what a good there's lots and lots of ways to be involved yes that's right well because they're also like preparing the oranges

at half time. Yeah. And saying well done. Bring a dish. Good job. 100%. Driving, driving their daughters to and from the game. Yes.

Could be very, very useful. Yes. And I just think letting the stars feel valued. I like that you said under tens, too, because it just means as soon as puberty comes in, forget about it. It doesn't do them any good. It's bad for them.

Yeah, no. They're competitive for testosterone. Not. Pumps, it's just not very good. But just to sort of, I know it's a bit controversial, But just to put it out there, what if they're sort of allowed to do it but, you know, like it just isn't broadcast or anything like that? Like they just, if they want to do it, good on them and they can, they're allowed to go out. And, you know, maybe like if the women aren't using the field, you know, in the afternoon or something like that, they can, you know, maybe not book it, but they can organize something themselves, you know, of their own accord.

Provided they check first, obviously, I think that would be fine. Or will it give them false hope? They'll have a career in sport, which nobody is interested. I think it's cute for them to believe that, though. And obviously there's, you know, we don't know what the future holds. There might be space for it. Yeah, that's right. I have a Matilda who has a personal opinion about men in sport.

What is your opinion? My Matilda is eight. And her issue is that she loves wrestling and playing sport with Daddy, but what's Daddy's biggest weakness? No. Go on. Go for it. It's just men's bodies aren't really cut out.

That's so true. What happens when you kick Daddy sometimes? Really? Yep. Does Daddy sometimes lie on the ground and cry? Mm-hmm. Yep. That's it.

That's the thing. It's not their fault. It's just that their bodies aren't designed for it. Yes. I think that's right. It's too dangerous for them. Yeah. It's dangerous.

They should just be at home during the cleanse. and the cooking and supporting the female athletes that they know. I think that's wonderful, Matilda. And also, if you look at, I mean, I don't really watch, you know, men's soccer that much, but... Matilda's just told me she's actually nine. Oh, nine years old. Well, you're too busy, Emily, with your sport, aren't you, to pay attention to it?

That's really the husband's job to keep track of the birthdays and organise the cakes. Yeah, that's the way. If you're not here to remind me how old she is, what am I to do? Yep, there you go. Ask me. But I did see a few games of men's soccer once, which is quite interesting. And the thing is, half the time they were sort of rolling around on the field, sort of being injured, like in agony. And they're clearly sort of...

Oh, they're bad actors too. Yeah, they're bad actors. It's terrible. They just keep on just so flimsy. All right. Well, look, I think you said it best. Matilda, are you going to play for the Matilda someday? Is this going to happen?

It sounds inevitable to be. Maybe. Maybe. You might want to go international. You might want to go for another country. Maybe you've got some other passport options. Maybe try after last night joining the English team would be my hot team. It's so, it hurts.

It had to be England, didn't it? All right, look, Emily and Talda, it's been great having you kicking the discussion off. I think it's going to be very one side of the debate today. But, hello, Brad. How are you? Got it, frankly. The more time on a sports field, the less time raping. You haven't taken that into consideration, have yet?

Yes, that's right. Can you imagine how many hours the average NRL player will have if they're not training or playing? That's a hell of a lot more time they've got for racing. Just thinking about it, if men do participate in sport on a regular basis, that I mean the police know where to find them. You're considering the fact that the police are smart enough to know where they are. The police women, we'll figure it out.

I don't know how often you've dealt with a police. Yeah, that's true. A bit actually in the entry of the chase That's fair to say Yeah look interesting So which sports should they be allowed to play I mean I think A nice game like netball

Where there's not a lot of contact Could be good Yes Because they just hurt each other Isn't it's not good for them Oh you obviously haven't spent much time With NRL players Dom What about walking

Competitive walking Competitive walking They couldn't get any much trouble walking Could they? Well, unless they're walking. That's because I'm a middle-aged method. Oh, dear. Yeah.

Thank you, Brad. Very well said for showing you the other side of the argument. Let's now go to Shane. Shane from the guy. It's always good to hear from the Gold Coast in the discussions. Hello, Shane. Hi, Dawn Charles. How are you?

We're recovering from the Matillas. But just trying to see if there's any place for men in sport in 2023, or if we should just cancel all of it immediately. I think the issue with men's sport is that they don't seem to get into much trouble on the field. Off the field seems to be where the problem is. So maybe we should just have the referees follow them around at all time so they can keep them in check, you know. You can't do that. Good idea.

This was sort of Brad's point, right, which is, you know, it sort of keeps them busy playing the sport. I really like that idea. So you have a sort of 24-hour rest. Yeah, that's a very good idea. They clearly don't know the difference between right and wrong, do they? No, no. So you just imagine that when they go out drinking on Mad Monday or whatever, if they were still led to it, you got the ref following them and just blowing the whistle and sending them off.

I think basically if men were constantly subject to a regime of red cards and yellow cards, that would be enormous. And the sin bin, the 10-minute sin bin's got to operate at all times, I think. I like it. How would we fund? Would you think we should, I mean, the women would be the ones that you have to pay for it. You have to cross-subsidise it, wouldn't they? Because they're the ones who make the money.

Well, do you think that would work? Would women be willing to pay for that? But it would, actually. What do you reckon? Yeah, you can see the benefits already with the guys who were not be getting into any trouble because the ref's going to be there to keep them under check at all times. Yeah, I like it.

I like it. So which sports would we allow in this regime? Rugby league's in trouble, isn't it? Yeah, probably just stick with football. That seems to be the one where they're at least getting the least amount of trouble off the field. Yeah. Yeah, and maybe clay shooting.

Lawn bowls, I think. How much trouble can you get into as a professional lawn bowler? Still playing in places with beers. I don't know. It's tough to know which on. Maybe, Shane, if people who played sport were sort of locked, I don't want to call it a prison, but basically a prison. So that the players wouldn't be set loose at any point.

So they'd just be sort of sitting there. If you imagine they just don't get to go home ever. and they're constantly under supervision. That would be like your kind of referee idea, balance cameras, and probably electrodes that gave them shocks whenever they left the area. I think you'll find most NRL players

are currently in places. Exactly like that. They're currently out of those sorts of orders applied to them by the courts. That's true. Okay, well, thanks, Shane. The Chaser Report, news you can't trust. So we have Jay.

Maybe we do J.T. Go back to J.T., who's another return caller from last week. J.T., hello. Good afternoon. I just will say that if men wish to be taken seriously and accorded the same respect as their female counterparts, then they need to learn to stop being so emotional all the goddamn time. You know, every time I hear about male laugh. They're always throwing tantrums and whatnot. They get very emotional, but also violent. They get punchy. They just don't have the professionalism at the women. But also, if you look at someone like, well, Nick Kirios or something like that,

you know, he's very talented. It's very, it's very nice that he's trying to make it in professional men's sport. But he pulls out half the time. You know, no character like the women. Every time he's got a hammy or something like that, he's off the field. I can't play Wimbledon. Where is Sarah Kerr? She's just, oh, well, I'll just play through my injury and score the goal of the century.

Since the subject of men trying harder, I do think it wouldn't kill them to wear a bit of makeup either. Because as we all know, your own work of the human being comes from being considered fuckable. So they should really work on themselves as they have any hope of achieving greatness like women. Yes, that is a very good point. They're not, they're just not sexy enough. They're not marketing yourselves. Yeah, they really need to appeal to the female gays. That's what I've always said.

Well, nice have you back, JT. Okay. Okay. Next up, I think Cliff's been waiting for a while. Cliff, if you'd unmute and join the conversation, we're talking about whether or not there's any point persisting with male sport at all, about a couple. I think we've missed the point,

is that we're going in the wrong direction. Clearly men's sport is underfunded. Yes, interesting. Yes, that's a good point. So are you talking about, like, government subsidies for me? It must be, yeah, it must be. Wow, that's a... The men's soccer hasn't achieved the same thing.

And the Australian cricket team struggled in England, and the women just won, yeah, everything. Netball championship with the world championships. I mean, I really like the idea. I just can't imagine it ever. We can't fund everything, Cliff. That's the thing. We've got to prioritise what people are interested in.

We've got the stage three tax cuts to fund. Come on. If I'm going to be harsh, Cliff, if the men's game had the interests that the women's game had, if it had the record ratings, then it wouldn't need money from all of us. It wouldn't need taxpayers money. So are we just basically propping up a something that, a, failing product. Good money after bad.

You're probably 100% correct, but they're still not achieving. So we've got to do something to bring them back up. So maybe we need a female coach for the soccer ruse. So maybe it's going to work. Sam Kerr could coach them. Maybe we should do a sort of voice to parliament for male sports people to sort of close the gap.

You know what I mean? Like some practical solutions where there's a media of like 20 or 30 male sports people who get a sort of, we have a referendum about it and they have a constitutional role to be able to consult on matters that affect them. But it sounds like a third chamber of parliament to me, Charles. All right. Cliff, thank you. Thank you, Cliff. Thank you. It's Lee time. Lee. Hello, Lee.

We need men's sports because what else are we going to do to bring ourselves down? We're going to get too egotistical if there's. so much except for women's sport going on. Oh, interesting. So you think it's going to be too uplifting and too inspiring? Well, and we'll just become arrogant because we're sort of world leaders in everything. Yeah, exactly. It makes me think, Lee, a few years ago, I was in, I don't know if people remember the London

Olympics, when was that, 2012, I think? The London Olympics, anyway, I was in Singapore during the London Olympics, and there was a period where Australian swimmer's kept getting silver, over and over again, silver, silver, Do you remember that? And that we were so angry. Everyone in the media was just slamming them. You're crap, you're only winning silver. And Singapore won a silver medal at the same time.

And it was the first medal that they won in anything in many years. And the nation was out partying. And it's made me think what privileged shits we are in Australia. Because, you know, we're doing so well in soccer and in, you know, cricket with the women's night sort of stuff. I think we need to have the men's side of that as well just so we have, you know, the comparison there. so we know that we can be good in some things, but we can also be bad in some other things, you know? Actually, you know what?

Maybe that, maybe you're right. Maybe that's the point of the Socarus is to give us perspective on how good the Matildas are. Yes, that's right. And that's why their name is so bad because in comparison, Matilda looks really good. Yeah, because the point of the Socarus is to pity them.

Maybe the Socorus can be renamed the Swagman. That's perfect. Tagging onto the Matilda's brand success. That's something. But also, the Swagman in that story was very depressed and killed himself by jumping into a billabong. So I'm very appropriate. He's very broke.

So I think the male athletes will be in that financial situation very soon. Yeah. Okay. So men's point in sport, we've actually come to a conclusion, I think, Charles. The point of the men is to make the women look even better than they already would have. Yes. And I think that's good. Men do that well.

It's sort of like your role in the Chaser team. That's right. That's right. Yeah. Make others shine by comparison. Yeah. I just hope that the women don't become assholes like Charles in that situation. But there's no danger with that yet.

Whereas for the men in the chase, unfortunately, that ship sailed on day one of this project in 1999. Thank you, everyone, for joining. It was enormously fun. And I think productive. We'll pass those findings on to the Prime Minister in short order. And we'll catch you next time. Our gear is from road. We are part of the Oconocles Network.

Catch you next week.