The Chaser Report - Son Of A Bitcoin

Episode Date: May 13, 2025

Charles and Dom zoom back into the future with another episode of Welcome To The Future. Dom explains the Dead Internet Theory, and how it has resulted in a Dead Facebook. Plus Charles has alarming news regarding his lost Bitcoin fortune.---Follow us on Instagram: @chaserwarSpam Dom's socials: @dom_knightSend Charles voicemails: @charlesfirthEmail us: [e-mail] our caviar addiction: https://chaser.com.au/support/ Send complaints to: [e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Chaser Report is recorded on Gatigal Land. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chaser Report. Hello and welcome to The Chaser Report for another segment of Welcome to the Future. Future, Future. This is our not regular enough technology podcast, Charles, looking at generally crap Bluetooth and terrifying AI. Most stories come with one or both of those aspects. But there is a lot happening in technology. In fact, we've received some submissions for this.

this episode. So, a big thanks to listener JT for some great tip-offs, Charles. What are we talking about today? Well, today I want to talk about AI slop. Oh, wonderful. And also, if we get time, we'll talk about the best invention in the world, which is an AI robot. At what point, Charles, are we going to replace chaser.com.com.com with AI slop? Because aren't people still being paid to write jokes for it? Well, it would certainly make a lot more money. if we replace it with the internet slob because I've got a brilliant I'll tell you all about it

after this. All right. Thank you for your patience. Your call is important. Can't take being on hold anymore. FIS is 100% online so you can make the switch in minutes. Mobile plans start at $15 a month.

Certain conditions apply. Details at FIS.ca. Okay. So let's just a first. For those who haven't heard the term, what AI slop is. And it's fair to say, it is basically taking over and ruining the internet, as if it hadn't already been ruined by multiple Zuckerbergs and Bezos's. Yeah, so the idea of internet slop is that because AI essentially trains on itself,

over time, AI will replace all human-created content, especially on things like Facebook and Reddit and Google and all that sort of stuff. And then what will happen is it'll start to get worse and worse quality because it's being trained not on human-created stuff, but on AI-generated stuff. So all those crappy websites that you read, and it's happening on YouTube as well, like all this content that's produced basically by scraping other websites

and doing reviews or whatever or news articles, they then get scanned by other AIs to produce more crappy websites and there's just basically diminishing returns until every single bit of content is just not, only wrong, but just incredibly dull. And there is a theory that this has already happened on Facebook. We've talked about this before. It's called the dead internet theory.

And the theory is that actually the vast majority of Facebook posts are AI. And the vast majority of comments and likes and disagreements on Facebook are AI. Just computer talking themselves. And it's really hard to know because people like us, Charles, who in our late 40s and 50s, are the biggest group on Facebook. Well, young people don't use it anymore. And we're all now incredibly boring. So it's possible that there's...

It's indistinguishable. How do you tell AI slot from just a really boring person you went to husk or with? Yes, exactly. It's very hard. Yes. So I just thought, oh, well, this is destroy the internet. That's actually, you know, in the long run, not necessarily a bad thing.

Like, instead, what will happen is we'll all go out and smell the roses and start infecting. And, you know, my theory was, actually, we'd all end up going to, lot more live shows and stuff like that. Oh, you sweet summer child. Yeah, and that actually human interaction will suddenly become the only thing that you can trust. We did say that, didn't we? Well, one thing that's happened that is actually really interesting,

I'm actually finding useful, but I don't know whether it is or not, is that Google now, if you search for anything, the first result is going to be a Gemini-generated summary of the answer because Google's realized that their website sucks because all of the links below that, most of them are going to be generated by AI's gaming, the system. But also that they can make a lot more money by not providing links to outside sources. And it leads to, like, Google is now so shit that if you Google, oh, what's the population

of Darwin? It will give you the incorrect result because what it does, and it, because I went to Darwin the other day, and James and I were talking about, oh, what's the population of Darwin? And it gives you this very convincing answer, and it highlights 55,000 as the number that is the population of Darwin. And then if you actually click through and read the Wikipedia source that it comes from, you go, oh, that's not at all. That's like the city council area of Darwin. Actually, it's more like 150,000.

And it came up because that's an inconsistent number. It's not like it gives you city of Sydney council when you ask it the population of Sydney. And we were trying to work out which was a bigger shit hole, Darwin or Hobart. And it turns out Darwin is the bigger shit hole, but not by nearly as different an amount as we thought. I think it's got it right now. It's iterated. It's giving me $152,000 now. And is it highlighting that number?

Yes, look. Right, okay. Yeah, that has changed. Well, presumably they've scanned what you did. They were surveilling you and they've, they've, they probably listened to our conversation. They would have. But you can't. James and I criticised Google.

You can't reliably trust these things. That's the whole point. I mean, this is what we teach to our students at the university. Yes. Setting AI is that you can't, it just doesn't know really what, anyway. No, it's just a statistical engine. Anyway, point is, and to that, you know, there are people who say, but aren't we all statistical engines?

But the point is, and this is that what no one figured was that internet slop would then become people. Like, what? And so what has happened in the year? U.S. is universities have started to be invaded by what they're calling ghost students who don't exist. Oh. They're just AI creations. They get an AI face.

They write AI essays. They do quite well. What, do they appear on, like, transcripts. Online courses or something? Yep. They pay their fees and everything like that. And the reason why is because if you're a half diligent student, you can get loans, especially if you're a poor AI person

who's got a, you know, AI, you know, targeted, like it's targeted to all the loan schemes and all the financial aid schemes. And criminals are raking in tens of millions of dollars by doing 40 or 50, you know, arts degrees at a time using these AI bots and harvesting all these grants and, you know, bursaries and student loans. Charles, I'm about to hate myself for this joke,

but finally a use for an arts degree. So isn't that amazing? I love having more than one arts degree, just to be very clear. Who would have expected that the, like, it's just like nothing is real? Like, who would have expected that a really good scam is doing an arts degree? Like, to make money? Yeah, that is very strange. Like, who thinks of that?

And probably the answer is an AI. Yeah, an AI would have thought of that, yeah. I mean, this is one of the whole things about only. intern and consequences. And this is one of the things that's so exciting about the AI revolution is yes, okay, it is ruining many things and nothing's real and you can't believe anything. You get a phone call that purports to be from your mother saying, I desperately need a thousand dollars or whatever, and it may well be an AI synthesizing her voice. We can't trust anything anymore. But, but look at the human ingenuity that is coming through these scammers, coming up with things

that haven't been created before. Or do you think it's just a sentient AI? And also there's upsides there, because whenever my son legitimately calls me an ask me for money. Yeah. I just say, sorry, I can't trust you. You might be an AI robot. Yeah, yeah. That's great.

And then the point is that's now going to happen in person as well. So this hope that actually all we need is just reality. Like we'll just put down our laptops, put down our smartphones, go outside, smell the roses and go to live shows and buy tickets to wankedomics, is now coming to an end because, because. Because this is, all you've been saying has made me think that. Yeah. Go and meet people in person. I mean, teaching students are in the room with you.

Yes. It can replace that. But. Or can it? So there's a new robot coming out of China. They're robots. That, look, it doesn't look like a human yet, but it's only a matter of time. And it's going viral on TikTok at the moment.

And what it does is it very adequately cleans your house for you. It's fucking incredible. It is like the best thing in the world. The only problem is you use the same sponge on every surface. So it starts out by cleaning, and you get this amazing view of it cleaning the toilet, and then it goes on to clean the kitchen table. Every bit of E. coli from the toilet gets, that's great. And inside the toilet and then it keeps going.

But it does things like, it straightens up your shoes and stuff like that. So, like if you've got a messy room, I mean, that would be great. It will neaten up the mess. I mean, I've been very messy for nearly 50 years now, Charles. Yes. And I was just doing this in the hope that one day a robot will come along and sort of all this out. The point is, as soon as you get a sort of human skin style thing to that robot, which, let's face it, I mean, that's going to happen in our lifetime.

That's going to be 10 years away. Like, they've already started synthesising human skin. Does it matter? Yeah, they can, first graphs and stuff. For graphs and things of that. But does it matter? To combine all those things together. And we're talking, like, what will happen is people will start buying tickets to

Wankonomics, not because they're real humans wanting tickets to see a show, But some elaborate scam that allows them to get grants and bursaries or something. You'll be doing a performance entirely to AI box. We're basically just there to tidy up after the end of the show. Yeah, we'll be scammed into thinking, oh, we've got this popular thing. But then also you go to yourself, well, and this is Sackledge, I know. But what would you rather have a child with its own independence and ability to walk its own path in life? And the ability to say no.

When you ask the child to tidy the house or whatever, they won't do it. it. They'll refuse to do it or ask for pocket money or whatever. Or a lovely human-looking robot that just automatically does it. Like at what point? We just stop worrying. We're about the uncanny valley about whether or not these things are real and just be grateful. I mean, at what point? It just sounds horrific. Doesn't it? It's just like the whole thing. Like, I just feel like, I just want to get off the train. You'll get a sense, you'll have a sense of terror. You'll be very uneasy and you'll go and see a psychiatrist because you'll be really worried or a psychologist, and that will be an AI covered in skin.

Although, have you, there's a fantastic show, which I think got nominated for the Comedy Festival Award Prize down in Melbourne this year, which is all about this woman who, what's her name, Lou Hall. Oh, yeah. Part of her show is all about how she subscribed to an AI psychologist. Oh, dear. And it gave such terrible advice that it ended up in a law school. suit that she joined part of and she got her money back.

Well, she got $7 in settlement four years later. Oh, what a win. There you go. But it's just a horrific. Yeah, so the alienation is almost complete. And then we'll just be at a point where, I mean, previously thinking that everyone around you was a kind of an AI robotic avatar covered in fake skin, that would have been the sign of a major mental illness.

Yeah, and now it's just like. It will be just, yeah, that's true. That quite, that may be the case. It was. Can't rule that out. You can't rule that out and actually quite perceptive over you for thinking that. Yeah. You're like the one, you're the Neo in the Matrix.

You're the one person who sees what's really going on. Okay, well, on that happy note, Charles. Shall we just take a little break and then go on to another great story about life in the future? Thank you for your patience. Your call is important. Can't take being on hold anymore. FIS is 100% online, so you can make the switch in minutes. Mobile plans start at $15 a month.

Certain conditions apply. Details at fizz.ca. The Chaser Report, news a few days after it happens. Okay, so a bit of a change of pace. I want to talk about crypto. Oh, okay. So you know how I very early on mined some crypto and now can't find it? Yes, this is one of my favorites-th heartbreaking stories that you have somewhere.

Allegedly a hard drive with crypto on it. I mean, I wouldn't overplay this because bad things are happening, aren't they, are people who have lots of crypto? Well, exactly. I think I have very shrewdly lost this crypto that presumably is now worth hundreds of millions of dollars. Because... I love how blithely you're able to say that.

What has happened is, yeah, they've started... This is an article from Arts Technica, which is we have reached the severed fingers and deductions stage of the crypto revolution. So, and I'm both heartened and slightly terrified that Rita JT remembers this crypto hoard of yours, because if JT remembers the episode where you talked about this, presumably the finger severers are also going, well, if we heard him enough, can you know you find the hard drive?

Yeah, it certainly would be a motivating factor, wouldn't it? But the whole point is, yeah, so criminals have been going around, because the thing is, all these idiots, right, have now made millions of dollars out of crypto. They have. I mean, look at our things scourmitchie. The whole point is. you don't have to be a genius because there's nothing to do.

It's not like, you know, like the promise of capitalism up until, I don't know, about 25 years ago was, well, if you work hard or have an ingenious idea, you could make money. Yeah, yeah. And now it's like, if you just luck in on the latest meme coin

and accidentally buy something seven years ago that then astronomically increases in price, they're the people who should be rewarded in society. For a token that has absolutely no connection with any measurable reality. And so the point is that these idiots who did that, and let's face it, they're probably idiots. Like if you've gone hard on Bitcoin in 2011, like you look like a genius now, you're a fucking moron back in 2011.

Even if they're geniuses, that's unconnected to the fact that they bought Bitcoin back then. Yes, exactly. I mean, look, when you could mine them yourself on an old computer, that might have been a reasonable thing to do. You just did it at night, right? when the, he had a few network computers and he'd set them to do that at night when everyone went home. So all these criminals are sort of, because, you know, actually people, these idiots

tend to boast about it online, right? Or record podcast episodes. Yeah. And, you know, and so, you know, like a Belgian man who posted online that his crypto wallet was now worth 1.5 million euro, right? Next day, his wife was abducted. Right. Oh, no, sorry, the next week, the next week, his wife is abducted. Should you be laughing quite so blithely about this, Charles? No, I'm just saying, Well, of course, because you just told people that you're worth 1.6 million euro, and you're an idiot, right? Let's just be really clear. Charles has no idea where his crypto is.

He's looked for it. I mean, I'm not sure a blowtorch or a pair of pliers is going to help in this situation. It would be motivating, though. Maybe it's what I need. He's a severed finger to... Severed finger of my wife. Not of me. This is the sort of thing that's going to be played in court.

It worries me, honestly. It was an invitation. Yeah, so and horrific. And it's happening all around the world. Like, there's a string of incidents. One happened in the UK, one happened in Dubai. Three people have been the subject of home invasions just in the past year based on, you know, posting that they seem to own lots of crypto.

Well, I think you should clear out the place where it might be stored and just basically just trash the entire thing. I think it's probably safer. I'll tell you what. Either you find it or you just get rid of it all. What I'll do is, I'll give you the box of hard drives, and you can store it at your house, Don. I don't want it.

Not least because I just cleaned out my garage. It was the worst thing I've had to do in my whole life. There was no crypto. You should have used an AI robot to help you clean it. I wish I could have. So there you go. That's great news, Charles. But are they happy?

That's what I want to know. The people who've made all the money off crypto. Yeah. And the criminals who've been severing. Actually, I reckon if you were a criminal and you were severing fingers for crypto, You probably would be happy. Can lots of money make you happy? Charles, you're in the perfect position to find out if you look at your fucking garage.

No, but we joke about this. This isn't a real thing that really happened. This is not true at all because no one would be that stupid. Anyway, that's probably all the future we need to, we need for today. Well, I'm going to go and buy one of those house robots with my crypto. That's a very good idea. Yeah, maybe you can just get it some sort of loan shark to, This is what's going to happen is that you know all these stories about like tips

who are people's hard drives have been thrown out and all that. Criminals are going to sort of finance robots to go and look through them or maybe legitimate investors. There's a startup idea for you. I think that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to invest in. So what have we learned today? We're all going to hell,

but at least we'll be joined on the journey by flesh-colored realistic robots. Well, no, I think it just means we've got to switch off the internet now. Switch off computers and just chill. Like, just go back to basics. We're just got to go outside, smell the roses. Smell the roses and then excavate the roses to see if there are any hard drys. Mind you, I think those roses are fake, aren't they? And so am I.

I'm a flesh-covered robot. Haven't you been able to tell? We are part of the Aconoclus Network. See ya. Thank you for your patience. Your call is important. Can't take being on hold anymore? Fizz is 100% online so you can make the switch in minutes.

Mobile plans start at $15 a month. Certain conditions apply. Details at fizz.ca.