The Chaser Report - Sorry Not Sorry | Sami Shah | Mark Pesce

Episode Date: July 21, 2021

Yesterday Scott Morrison took full responsibility for the vaccine rollout – which was nonetheless other people's fault. Also, Sami Shah joins us to discuss the Adelaide outbreak, Mark Pesce helps us chart our way through the increasingly depressing numbers, and Bob Katter has fireworks. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode is brought to you by the Translators Association of Afghanistan. We're simply dying to translate for you. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chase of Report. Hello and welcome to The Chaser Report for Thursday, the 22nd of July 2021. And Charles, yesterday, the Prime Minister re-emerged. Yes, he returned to the fray to do his job of running the country. And Dom, what an historic... day it was. 21st of July is going to go down in Australia's history as the day that Scott Morrison,

the Prime Minister of Australia for the first time in his life, took responsibility for something. And it took him a while, didn't it? Yeah. First thing he did was he went on FM radio for a softball interview, but then that all got derailed when the host, uh, Jace, asked him to say sorry for screwing up the vaccine roll out and he did not want to say sorry. Then he had a press conference later in the day. And they're asking about this mistake. He said, oh, we've experienced challenges. And he blamed Atagi, the technical vaccine approval group, for not allowing AstraZeneca to go to everyone. And he was basically saying, we've been begging Atagy, we've been talking to them. Ataghi, you've screwed this thing up. So he tried really hard to avoid taking any responsibility

for the job that he does. I'm sort of surprised that he didn't actually turn around at their press conference and say, look, it's just a pity that there's not somebody in charge of this country you know like whoever that is what a dickhead i don't hold an office mate what do you expect what do you expect so but then two hours after that let's say completely disastrous press conference because the other thing the other detail of that was that he'd flown down from sydney hadn't he yes and so he was still technically you know living in house arrest or you know in lockdown this is the other thing charles that press conference actually came with advice to the journalist attending and the advice was don't come if you're not vaccinated and so the media's response was

well, where are the fucking vaccines? Like all the young people who they're sent to Canberra are under 40. His response was, well, I don't hold a vaccine. I don't, I don't organise a vaccine. I don't hold a syringe. I got vaccinated. What's your problem? It was such a disaster that then two hours later, he called a second press conference.

Still not vaccinated. Still not vaccinated. To express regret and admit that he is responsible for the vaccine rollout. That is a remarkable. thing for someone as slippery as Scott Morrison to actually accept responsibility for something for once in his life. I'm not sure it was him, Charles. Are you absolutely certain that, I mean, we know we've been warned for years about the

shapeshifting lizards who pretend to be world leaders. Maybe he was eaten by one of those lizards in the meantime, because I'm not sure that's not the Scott Morrison that I know. It certainly doesn't sound like Scott Morrison. Maybe it was a deep fake. Maybe the staff, you know, replicated him online. Like the Tom Cruise video. That's what it was.

It's a far more plausible explanation. I think it's a better version, frankly. But, you know, now that he's taken responsibility for something, I'm presuming that he'll now take responsibility for, you know, going on holidays during the bushfires. No. Oh. Or, you know, all the corruption that's happened, you know, all those car parks and sports rorts.

No way. Oh. Well, what about the cover-up of the rape at Parliament House? Surely he'll take responsibility for that. Not on his watch. Oh, well, what about hotel quarantine? He'll take responsibility for that, at least. He's got to be kidding me.

It's constitutionally his responsibility. It's literally the law of the land. Not a chance, Charles. So he ended up saying sorry then. He said it's my responsibility. I'm really sorry about this. Is that how to happen? I think he expressed regret.

So it was a John Howard sorry. Right. Where you don't say sorry. Yeah. Coming up on the show, we're talking to Mark Pesky about the worrying numbers in New South Wales. We're going to have a very kind and sympathetic chat to Sammy Shah about the lockdown in Adelaide. All that and more coming up on The Chaser Report.

But first of all, let's go to Rebecca Dana Minow in the Chaser Newsroom. Parents of missing boy, Scott Morrison, have today appealed to the public, asking that anyone who has seen their son in the last month to please ask him to do his fucking job. Police are describing the circumstances around the Prime Minister's disappearance as extremely suspicious, given the timing with the Olympics coming up. However, they have no solid leads yet. as to where the twats bugged off to this time. The people of Earth have taken a moment of silence

to mourn the return of billionaire Jeff Bezos after his first flight to space. A minute of silence was conducted worldwide to mourn the loss of what could have been a far better world. However, all employees of Amazon who did not work through the minute's silence have since had their pay docked and also been converted into rocket fuel.

Musician and self-described deity Kanye West has announced there will be yet another delay to his upcoming album due to his collaboration with the Australian government. Last year, West announced his fans would be front of the line to receive new music, but fans now say they would be thrilled if Kanye would spend as much time making the album as he did announcing it. That's the heather slate lines you can trust from the Research Report. You're Ubeka Radunamuno and I'm having a stroke.

This episode of The Chase Report is brought to you by the Australian Coal Lobby. Come on, buy some coal. Come on, do it. Some cold. It's just coal. Just buy some coal. Come on. It's just a bit of coal.

Buy some. Just buy some coal. So the lockdown club gets larger and larger parts of regional New South Wales, Orange and so on, went into lockdown the night before last. And South Australia joined the club too. We did promise Charles that we would get someone from. South Australia to comment on this matter. Yes.

We've got Sammy Shar, who, because he lives in Melbourne, is closer to South Australia than either of us at this point, which I think is a pretty impressive concession to South Australia. And in fairness, like, I actually, last time I saw Sammy, I was in Adelaide. Wow. So, you know, there's a whole, there's enough connection there, I reckon. I think that's excessive. Adelaide at least three times in my life and I feel like that's more than enough you know

if you've been there more than twice you know everything there's no about Adelaide as a city you know that everyone in Adelaide hates the fact that there's nothing to do in Adelaide but we'll never admit to that and they get really really up themselves when you point it out and they get very aggressive and say yes but have you been to that marketplace of ours which for some reason is the cultural pride and joy of Adelaide having a market I don't know why that's a big deal to them I mean the fact the fact that it's suddenly called the marketplace and everyone knows what you mean is a little bit telling in itself isn't it it really is and look and i don't mean to disrespect adelaide it's a lovely city with a

wonderful kfc and and i'm sure it's got a few good backers as well and stuff and and they've got great culture they're um uh not sure what it is uh i've never experienced any of it but i've heard good things about it i mean i went there earlier in the year for the festival ride and and and after two days, I was saying to locals, you know, what else is there to do in Adelaide? And they said, oh, well, you know, going up to the hills or going out to the Barossa. So essentially, after about two days, you run out of things to do in Adelaide. And it's just all about, oh, yeah, well, Adelaide's a great place to leave. You know, like that. And look, the Adelaide Fringe Festival, which is what you were, part of is renowned for how difficult it is to sell tickets at and how much

money as comedians we tend to lose at the festival so i'm sure that speaks greatly to the city one my favorite stories about adelaide i don't know if this is true is that prince canceled a concert in adelaide because ticket sales were so low um well they probably thought he was an actual prince and they were very disappointed to discover that some newfangled musician but um i do think you know when it comes a lockdown in adelaide adelaide is very much the kind of city where who gives a fuck If they're locked down, if they're opened, who cares? They're still contributing nil to the cultural growth and significance economically to Australia.

So fuck them. Well, actually, I think it's the reverse, isn't it? Like, doesn't South Australia take huge amounts of government subsidies from the rest of Australia? So shutting down the Adelaide economy is probably a net positive. What I like best about Adelaide is actually the geography. So you know how the Colonel Light designed Adelaide? and what he did was he put it in a grid

and then he put a huge number of parks around every part of the grid and basically what he was doing at that point was yeah this is as big as we're going to need like there's no universe where this city is going to be larger than just a couple of blocks fuck that idea let's have parks I can tell you from personal experience

no one moves to Australia saying you know what I hope I get to live in athlete it's not it's not an immigrant experience this is a true story I'm not making this up When I came here in 2012, is the same time that comedian Ivan Aristigeta migrated here from Venezuela in 2012. He and I arrived to Australia on the exact same visa. It was a regional state-sponsored work visa. The idea being that if you want to live in Australia, you come from a shitty third world country,

you have to spend time in a shitty part of Australia that no one else wants to live in. Now, I got regional Western Australia because they're like, birth is too nice. You come from Pakistan. You need to be trained on how shitty Australia can be sometimes live in a regional country town in Western Australia. Ivan got Adelaide. Really? I'm not making this up.

They said Venezuela is a shitty third world country. You need to have a similar experience here. Go to Adelaide. The city of Adelaide. Because I remember from your book, Samuel, like the town you were in, was it called like Northam or something? In regional, regional, see, I did pay attention to your book. Regional W.

It had like one pub, wasn't it? It was the tiniest place ever, and Adelaide's the same. I love it. Adelaide is very much the same. But look, I have nothing but respect and pity for the people of Adelaide who are now going into a lockdown as well. Obviously, no one wishes lockdown on anyone now that especially Melbourne and Sydney are just, we're trapped in these extended lockdowns that are not going to end any time soon based on modelling. Adelaide's been given what, five days, seven days?

They've been told. Seven days? And seven days. And these are places that have not locked down. Yes, that's right. The rest of us have. That's what I was going to say, that the last time they had a lockdown, they called an emergency three-day lockdown. And then after a day and a half, they went, oh, actually, we've got it under control.

No worry. Remember that was the pizza guy. That's right. So they have not been alone with their thoughts ever. They've never contemplated their own existence ever. No. Well, if they had, they would have left Adelaide. Well, there we go.

We're going to see mass migration out of Adelaide within the next week, basically. But I'll tell you what? Because they've shut down everything, haven't they? Like, there's no construction, there's no heavy industry stuff. That's all shut down. Where is Australia going to get its submarines that can't turn left? All our enemies have been waiting for this moment to sneak up from on the right side of Australia. and now finally.

No wonder China's sent two warships off the coast of Queensland. This is the perfect time to invade. Queensland is very much the left side of Australia. And so, yeah, they're coming up on that side. Except politically. Except politically. Well, I mean, look, the Prime Minister's already been making the rounds in Adelaide

apologising to them in a way that he has not, for some reason, apologised ever to Melbourne. He was an Adelaide radio. Sammy, I think there's more marginal seats up at the next election in Adelaide. That does make sense because he's been on ABC Radio by Adelaide. He's been on Adelaide's 5 AA radio. He's spoken to many Adelaide radio presenters and said all kinds of things like, let's see. Oh, this is a nice quote that he used.

It was unfair that Australia's vaccine rollout is being criticized, but not New Zealand's. It was the prime minister's complaint. This, of course, from the same prime minister who once said that women in Australia should be grateful they're not being shot at. So his entire strategy seems to be, let's lower. the standards so I can then, you know, just limbo underneath those as well. I mean, it's not enormously surprising that people in Australia who are being locked down because we aren't vaccinated aren't really thinking about New Zealanders front of mind at this point.

What kind of selfish Australians are we that we're not angry at New Zealand's vaccine rollout? It just shows where our priorities are. But can I put something to you too, Jay? What about when this is over? What about we all go? we have a podcast weekend in Adelaide just to be fair and make sure that, you know, just to inject some money into the local economy and just, you know, get charmed by the wonderful things in Adelaide.

How about we do that? I like how you assume that a city that literally said, no, we don't want to watch you perform live to Prince is going to go. Well, actually the Chesa Podcasts, and that sounds like a good time out. It's the new reality show that everyone's talking about. I'm a rich kid Get me out of here We take 160 rich kids

From elite Sydney private schools To a rural town to avoid COVID restrictions How long can they survive Hello, yeah, hi, help Oh hi, I'm Bob, what's wrong? Nothing, sorry, are you the help? Sorry, what do you mean? Do you know how to get any cocaine around here?

What? No. Did you just spit on me? Will the Twitter? But survive the unforgiving landscape of a rural town. Excuse me, sorry. Where's the bidet? Oh, we don't have bidet, so just use toilet paper. Fucking gross.

I'm a rich kid. Get me out of here. Coming soon to Channel 10. No one even knows who my dad is. Now, about a million years ago, it's actually a few days, but it feels like a million years. we talked to Mark Pesci about the numbers in New South Wales. He was pretty pessimistic about how things were going to look. Turns out he's absolutely spot on the numbers of tanked,

and they're still looking absolutely awful. We know there are lockdowns everywhere else, but this is the granddaddy of them all, and it's the worst. Mark, welcome back to this dismal, dismal moment in our history. Thank you, and yet again, I will open by saying, I am not an epidemiologist. I only play one on this podcast. If you get your health advice from the Chaser Report, you are an idiot.

That is our health advice. But Mark, the reason why we got you back is because it got very confusing yesterday morning when New South Wales released their numbers because they said there are 110 cases. And then Gladys almost immediately said, oh, and 43, we're infectious in the community. Which is supposedly the key number behind letting us out. Like it doesn't matter if they're all locked away. in quarantine or you know in self-isolation so that was the number that was the headline but then over the course of the day it became apparent that the number wasn't 43 it was sort of 60 and then

by the end of the day it was like hang on I think it's 73 and so what the hell is going on mark yeah so 43 were infectious in the community for all of the time in other words these are people they simply didn't know about until they popped up and got tested, right? And that's the, hmm. And then there's the, I don't know what it was, it 20-ish, who were infectious for some of the time and they're in the community. And we sound like, oh, well, maybe that's okay, except here's what we know, because of the crafty squire, right? What did we learn there? That people are massively infectious 30 hours after they get infected. And there was a paper published in China this week, which said that the viral load when it's first detectable in people

with the delta strain is 1,000 times higher than it is with the original strain. And so is that good or bad? If you're the virus, that's good. If you're breathing the same air as all of those Euros 2020 folks were in a crafty squire, probably less good. Although to be fair, Mark, we talked last time about how the numbers are somewhat in arrears

and given that New South Wales only went into lockdown on Saturday we haven't yet seen the measures kick in and by that I mean they actually put in some restrictions with genuine teeth last Saturday. So I'm hopeful that the numbers will come down but then as against that,

the number of people who they had no idea where they even got the disease from who were not in some sort of a chain was more than 50. So this thing is raging, is it not? Yes. And, you know, there are whispers now that, and again, this is not to scare anyone because there are only just whispers now about whether people are now catching it out of doors, right?

And this is the thing we always thought we were safe from. And I think the MCG is maybe asking people whether that was the case. We, you know, again, it is too early to say. And the weird thing about Australia is we. are the testing lab, right? We saw the first person-to-person transmission in Bondi Junction Mall. We saw that one person became infectious in 30 hours through the Crafty Squire. We may have seen through the MCG and outdoors transmission, which we thought was really hard. So what we're doing is Australia is actually learning all this stuff about Delta that is

scaring us and hopefully will scare the rest of the world as these facts make their way out about how infectious delta is. Like the more we learn, the more we seem to learn, wow, this is really different. Yes, it seems very different because it's not just about the infectiousness, which sounds terrifying, but also the number of people, of all different ages who have ended up in hospital. And then, like, so the UK has just had their freedom day.

During which the prime minister was, by the way, self-isolating to avoid transmitting the virus. Like, it's becoming clear that even if you've had the vaccine, it's not necessarily a protection of being hospitalized from this Delta variant. Is that the case? So in the U.S., I think only two or three percent of all hospitalizations for COVID are vaccinated people, right? So it really, really truly, and you've got to consider half the population is vaccinated, right? So it really, really, really does lower the hospitalization rate. And it means that when you get, even if you end up in hospital, you're much less likely to end up an ICU and all of those other things. So, you know, we come back to the idea.

And again, I'm not an epidemiologist. No vaccine is perfect. First generation vaccines. And remember, that's what they're sticking in all of us right now. Is a first generation vaccine? They work. And thank goodness for that. But, you know, second generation, third generation, fourth generation, we already know that the Novavax is better than anything else that's out there. We already know that. So every successive generation of vaccines will get better at preventing disease. What's Novavax? I've never even heard of NovaVax. Do we have that in Australia? We're getting at the end of the year. So it's a spike protein vaccine and it's not weird new technology like Pfizer and modern of the MRI vaccines. It's closer to vaccines that we already know and understand and apparently produces much lower.

incidents of side effects as well. So that's really good. So it's easier for people to tolerate, but the effectiveness is actually higher. It's at like 96 or 97%. I mean, I constantly wonder why New South Wales hasn't done anything. I mean, in Victoria, they're building the outdoor shed. We've got Howard Springs up in the NT.

There seems to be no plan in New South Wales, other than keeping to bring people who are incredibly infectious into the middle of our cities, which when you put it in those terms was always a stupid idea. Like, remember, at the entry to Sydney Harbour, there's a place called North Head. There was a quarantine station. You had to stop there before you were allowed into the middle of the city. And there was a reason for that more than a hundred years ago. We're such idiots.

Yeah, and Q Station, for those of you who haven't been there, once we can move around the city again, beautiful place, go and visit, see how we used to do quarantine right in this country. When do you think that'll be, Mark? What's your take? Yeah, because I've got a skiing holiday coming up in a few weeks' time. In 2024? Oh. Look, the daily cases have flattened over the last five days, right, just in terms of the seven-day running average.

But the number who are infectious in community is not flat. Matt, Matt, Matt, this answer is not good enough. I want a date. I want a definite date for it. I want, when is New South Wales's Freedom Day? We haven't flattened the curve enough for anyone, I think, to be willing to make a call on that. And that's, this is the problem. right. New South Wales is basically

thrown everything out and it's barely holding the line against Delta, right? This is, you know, I'm sure we can tighten more, we just wouldn't be able to leave the house, and maybe that would finally do it, but is that what it's going to take? Isn't it the case that, I mean, Victoria has actually

gotten rid of Delta Wines. A few weeks ago when they had that snap lockdown. And they went fast and hard. Yes. And all the things we failed to do. And they went fast. They went fast and hard. And I reckon they look like they're going to do it again. Because they went fast and hard, and those nine days, and we think about it, it actually was only nine days, apparently before I got locked down, because I'm in the part of Sydney. They got locked down first. It was only nine days there. But apparently, yeah, even that is way too long. You have to go, I think Stephen Marshall's going to come out smelling like a rose, because he basically went as soon as it was the first committee transmission. It's like, that's it. We're in for a week. And it seems like that's exactly the right way to do it. And if when we get out of this, draws, when we get out of this. Yeah, if.

As soon as there's a single community transmission, that will be the lesson. We will have to go into lockdown for seven days every time that happens until we feel comfortable enough. Mark, you are our treasure. Thank you very much. It is my pleasure, gentlemen. And let's hope next time we chat, there's better news. No chance. There won't be.

There you go. Mark Pesci, his podcast is the next billion seconds. Go and check it out. This episode of The Chase Report is brought to you by Julian Assange. Is he like still in prison or something? Has anything happened recently? I just don't really know. Charles, just before we go, Xander noticed something quite extraordinary in a press conference yesterday.

Zanda, what happened? Okay, did you guys see the big announcement Bob Katter made yesterday? Bob Kata? No? I was wondering about the vaccine rollout in the pandemic, but sure, let's talk about Bob Kata. Okay, it is kind of important and semi-relevant, right? So Anastasia Palajay, premier of Queensland, flew to Japan, and overnight it was announced that, Queensland is getting the 2032 Olympics.

Yes. Oh, really? Oh, I didn't know that. Brisbane, 232, get used to it. It's going to make us jealous for a long time. See, I live in New South Wales. So when I heard 2032, I just thought it was something to do with case numbers or number of people in hospital or something.

Or a postcode? I don't know. But turns out they're getting the Olympics, right? Because, you know, New South Wales had it. Victoria had it. So Queensland's going to come in third. They're getting their bronze. Yeah, and no one else wants it, right?

So they've just waltzed it. Yeah, because pretty much every country in the world's gone. We're spending way too much money on this pandemic. And Olympics is going to make us lose even more money. And so Queensland said, obviously, we're going to take it. Yes, yes. And so Bob Catter has came out yesterday in a press conference at Acme PyroTechnics Company, like the Looney Tunes Company.

Wow. And he stood out the front of the company with a trailer behind him. And then on the trailer was written, the Queensland economy. and he said this is what the 2032 Olympics is going to do to Queensland and he hit a big red button and the words Queensland economy blew up. Have we got some audio? The cost of the Olympic Games in Tokyo is now $20 billion.

Now that will increase in 10 years' time to $40 billion. I would say that Nero and Collegular had the greatest games the world had ever seen and the people thought they were terrific. They were both assassinated. I'm going to, figuratively speaking, blow up the Queensland economy now for her with the same firecrackers

that she's going to put on tonight. Firecrackers is like, yeah, blowing up the Queensland economy. That's what the fire displace has got to be doing. He is quite bizarre, isn't he? Yeah. Look, in another life, he should have been Queensland Premier, shouldn't he? I mean, that is, that's perfect fireworks.

Or just some sort of, like, big prop comic. We would have had him on the chaser. I think I know how to get him on board with the Olympics, right? We just offer him the opening and closing ceremony. He's already showed his flair for showmanship, I imagine, right? Big stage, blackout lights, and then a silhouette of a man with a massive cowboy hat. He comes on fireworks. Boom.

Welcome to the Olympics. And I reckon another part of his Olympics could be that, you know, if competitors don't go too well, there's always the threat that they'll be eaten by crocodiles, as they are in central Queensland every three months. Yes, that's right, as you said. Well, I think he's, I'm surprised that he's taking this stand, Sander, because you've got to think about how it's going to work. And when I hear Brisbane Olympics, I hear that all of the demonstration sports will be rugby league. Like there'll be three different rugby league gold medals All them won by North Queensland

He's not thinking about what his electorate wants No, and that's the thing right Japan introduced skateboarding and rock climbing Paris has got breakdancing in three years time So Queensland has the opportunity to put rugby league in And crocodile wrestling Exactly And giant hat lifting

Like how big a hat can you get on your head Or for the Gold Coast athletes Planking off a balcony Yes, yes And property development The biggest shit condo you can build gets the gold medal. Exactly. Or a late-night cab run.

Australians will finally win an athletics race. Yeah, it's true. So I think that's the solution. We get Bob on board. We make Bob the director of the 2032 Olympics, and it will be the best Olympics ever. Well, I'm sure he'd be happy with it as long as we moved it from Brisbane to Charter's Towers.

Charter's Towers, 2032. You heard it here first. There's plenty of news around the clock at chaser.com. dot a you follow us on all the socials of course and don't forget to leave us a five-star review on apple podcast to read them all back on friday see if yours makes the cut and the code word for today is charters towers 2032 our gears from road microphones and we're part of the a cast to create a network