The Chaser Report - The Burning Man DISASTER

Episode Date: September 5, 2023

Charles and Dom report on the 70,000 people trapped in the desert at the Burning Man festival. Plus some other music and arts festivals that faced similar disasters. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Chaser Report is recorded on Gadigal Land. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chaser Report. Hello and welcome to The Chaser Report with Domyn Charles. Yes. As we record this today, there are 70,000 people trapped at the Burning Man Festival in the desert in Nevada. Wow. Okay. By the time you hear this, they will either have just all made it back home and it'll all be fine or they'll all be dead.

And if they are all dead, we didn't know that when we recorded this. Yes. But Charles, Burning Man, famously, in the desert, very, very hot. I assume they're something that's been cut off and there's some sort of heat strike going on. Are they all get... Is it sunburn? That's the problem here? For the first time, since 1986 when it started, it has rained in the desert.

And they are waterlogged. It's like splendor in the grass each year. But in the fucking... And they're cut off. They're stranded. They can't do anything. You can't move. They can't get any trucks in.

They're just completely stranded in this desert And they've been told to conserve water and food Because there's no way to get in or out If you wanted any better metaphor For the absolute fuckness of the climate in 2023 A waterlogged Burning Man Might just be it, more in a sec So Charles, for those who haven't come across Burning Man before

I mean, you and I have a mutual friend Who's been to this thing many times And tells us constantly we need to come It's a festival of venereal disease And having lots of sex I think that's what it is Yeah so basically a massive amount of trendy people Gather in the desert

They all take ayahuasca Yeah that's right Which is a special type of drug Much prized in South American cultures For making you vomit horrendously Yeah It's a little bit like a death cap mushroom But not quite as extreme

People claim that they've You know had visions on it Pinao wrote a whole album Based on ayahuasca That did really well in the charts So maybe there's nothing to it But so it's something that people who like saying, look, you just, you haven't expanded your consciousness enough. This is the sort of place that they go.

It's full of art installations. It looks amazing and I've always wanted to go. Thank fuck, this isn't the year that I did because it sounds disastrous. But Charles, from memory, Burning Man is absolutely massive. So this temporary city arises with, did you say 70,000 people? 70,000 people. So I'll just give you a little bit of a history, which is it started in 1986 on a San Francisco beach. But then it started growing quite rapidly.

So we went, okay, where were we going to put it? And so they went, I don't know, this vast open desert is a great place to go. And so it's now, between 60,000 and 70,000 people travel there each year to northwest Nevada. And they create a temporary city, because obviously 70,000 people is the size of a city called Black Rock City. And form a community dedicated to art, self-expression, and self-reliant. And fucking. And mostly fucking. And it's amazing, because what they do is they turn up, they, they,

set up the city and then they have this policy that nothing's left there so they just come and disappear it's very eco-friendly and the reason why it's called Burning Man is at the end of every festival

they put all the stuff that they've created so they create you know like you go and build a structure of an art I don't know an homage to Elon Musk or something

yes that's exactly what they do that's the sort of thing and then you pile it all into the middle and create this structure called Burning Man in the shape of a man and the shape of a man

And then you set it on fire. Set it on fire and it looks absolutely amazing at night. It's like the big culmination is to just burn everything down. Actually, that is exactly what Peter Dutton plans to do the day after the referendum, incidentally. But, yeah, so this is this big event. It sounds hugely exciting. It's the sort of thing where if you've been there and you just kind of go, if you've been to Burning Man, it was just amazing this year.

It was just so inspiring. It's basically from what I've seen from the photos, it's kind of like the aesthetic of Mad Max. They're in the desert. Everything's clapped together pieces of scrap metal. but with less killing. Imagine the plot line of Mad Max Fury Road, but instead of there being no water, there's too much water.

Yeah, this year. So this is normally the problem. Because you're in the desert, you've got to bring the water in with you, and it's normally the scarcest thing. This is the irony of this year. So what's happened? So actually, the festival went on for a few days

before it started raining. It then started raining. This is on about Friday of last week, and then none of the trucks could go in or out and people were actually having trouble even walking around because the mud was so suctiony right one person did actually die they're still investigating the cause of there but by sunday people had started to run out of food and water right so they've started leaving messages going if you if you are still there you have to just shelter in place

some of the organizers have said oh and you know just get with the vibe and enjoy this ability to, you know, stay close and make new friends. If you take ayahuasca, it's probably amazing the sound of the water. Like the whole of the universe is containing one drop of water would be the sort of thing you'd say. But the funniest irony is that this is, remember, this is a community and a festival based on radical self-reliance, right? And the main problem that they've faced is that the trucks that come in and clean

the toilets each night have not been able to make it in since, Friday, and so there's nowhere to go to the toilet. This really is Lord of the Flies. If instead of schoolboys, that has had basically, wankers. If you're a tech billionaire, you go to Burning Man and you pretend that you're still connected to real people. That's kind of what it's for. Yeah, that's right. Exactly.

Yeah, no, I think Elon Musk and Grimes have turned up there several times. So it's exactly that. And, you know, I'm sure Jeff Bezos goes there and tries to pick up. And where he met that woman. Anyway, okay, so this is pretty hilarious because presumably what they want in this festival of radical self-reliance is a government assistance. To sweep in? No, that's what they're calling for.

They're calling for emergency services to come in. And they're complaining that, you know, no one's helping them. And you're going, but you can't. Like, there's nothing. So the one thing that they can do is apparently you can walk 16 kilometers to get out of there through the march. And there's been several people who've tried that. And they've texted back going, or, you know, and sent out tweets going,

only do this if you're frighteningly fit. Oh, because 16 kilometres through March. That would be exhausting. It's horrifically exhausting. So, yeah. So, look, I say we just say goodbye to those 70,000 people. You think it's over? Well, I just think they wanted to be self-reliant.

Good luck to them. Can't they put out like an ice cream tub and just collect the, water that's falling from the heavens or did it just, was there a shitlight of water and then it hasn't rained anymore? Because that would be the worst. If it was raining, you didn't know you needed to conserve it. Yeah, I think that is, I think, well, here, I've got some video. This will be really good for every, all the listeners. See, look at this video. It's pretty muddy. Wow. I mean, it is very like my time, it's splendor when it rate. That's right. There's not really an endless pit of mud. I mean, where are the 70,000 people?

Just to explain what we're saying, this is the sort of vast expanse of really quite thick, horrible mud. Well, Charles, the time I went to Splenda when it absolutely bucketed down the whole time, I bought the last pair of gumboots in the whole of Splendor. Do you know how much I paid? Oh, a lot.

Actually, in hindsight, it doesn't sound that bad now, but back then, 50 bucks. 50 bucks for gumboots, and it was the best 50 bucks I've ever spent because there is nothing that makes you, like, gumboots turns mud into a fun opportunity rather than just the worst thing ever. But imagine if they didn't have any of that.

You wouldn't have that gear. You'd have sunblock. That's all you need. People are reporting that they're putting plastic bags over their feet. But most people have actually just taken off their shoes. And I think that that's the sort of community that we're talking about. Well, they were nude already. Come on.

They definitely nude already. But can't they just all take ayahuasca and just go to sleep and not worry about it? Yeah, except for the whole not having any food or water. Oh, we can't be that food. The water's a problem, I'll admit that. The one thing is interesting is comedian Chris Rock managed to hitch a ride out of there. Of course he did.

So he walked 10 kilometres through the mud and then some fan saw him. They were obviously sort of on the outer rims of the thing and this guy

had a big truck and gave him a ride out of there on the back of his huge you would give Chris Rock. You would give Chris Rock a ride in you but it's the kind of place

where you would run into someone like Chris Rock and potentially fuck them I mean that's just the way Bernie Man is you've got to understand they say it's about art and culture

they picked up Chris Rock Yeah, they picked up Chris Rock. That's right. Go ahead, unquote, yeah. The Chaser Report, news a few days after it happens. Well, Charles, that does sound like an absolute disaster. And metaphor. And slightly ironic situation.

Yeah. And Charles, it reminds you something else that needs to be discussed at this point. What? Because the most unlikely, I mean, Burning Man having rain is certainly unlikely, except in this age, we know that every terrible climate result is imminent, basically. The climate's just screwy everywhere, and they should have known that. They should have packed a lifeboat, basically, with them, inflatable dingies to Burning Man. But Charles, even more unlikely than that than rain at Burning Man is an event called the Fire Festival 2.

Now, to recap, I watched a documentary on the first fire festival. It's one of the most enjoyable, we talked about it on radio at the time, one of the most enjoyable bits of irony ever. All these idiots got sucked in by influences to travelling to a Caribbean island for this festival. Supposedly all these big artists were going to play out. They looked out the entire island. Yeah, they had this entire island. And then they didn't realize that if you book a party at an island, you then need to cater for them.

Yes. And if you book an entire island, it probably doesn't have the facility. There was no accommodation. There was no nothing. And I remember the scene where people were absolutely desperate for food. And what they got was they got buns and burger cheese, like craft singles. It's the sort of idea that sounds really good when you're an ayahuasca. So some tickets to the fire festival cost $150,000.

And they promised wellness activity. and vealers and yachts and things. That's right, because you were in, didn't you? That's right. You had to fly in. And it turned into The Hunger Games. People, all they had was a mattress. Some people wrote their mattresses out to see to try and get out of the festival.

If you want, if you want Chardon Ford, like if you enjoy laughing in people's misery who kind of deserve it because they believe influences, watch the documentary. I think it's more than one. It's on Netflix. Yeah, yeah. It's amazing to watch. But the guy who started at Billy McFarlane is one of these absolutely delusional visionaries, not unlike Charles Firth in a way, he ended up going to do.

He ended up going to jail. He admitted to defrauding investors of $26 million. And here's the thing. When he was in solitary confinement, apparently he wrote out a 50-page plan for how to do Fire Festival properly. And he says, I'm in jail. In jail. I'm quoting him.

I wrote out this 50-page plan on how he would take this overall interest in demand in fire. Surely there was no demand. All right. In terms of the worst brand in the world, Fire Festival would have to be up there. It's sort of like Qantas deciding to come up with a plan. It's a Qantas festival. And how he would take my ability to bring people from all around the world together to make the impossible happen. Billy, the point is, the impossible didn't happen.

Like, the predictable happened. It was a disaster. Point one of his plan was to, inverted commas, allow me to be me while executing fire to the highest level. So he's planning to step back. He's stepping back using the brand. Yes. But it's actually going ahead. And not only that.

They've sold a hundred tickets for 500 US dollars. That doesn't sound like that many tickets. I presume Netflix is the port of the ball to make the sequel to the documentary. We don't know who the line-up's going to be, but apparently it's, look, I can't say that it's definitely going ahead. No, well, it's definitely not going ahead. Some people have put money in. So they're already calling Burning Man Fire Festival 2 is my point. Hang on, this is. Sorry, I'm looking this up.

So the headline is Fire Festival to Pre-Sale tickets sell out Right There were 100 tickets Yeah That's not enough to make a festival But it's Billy Macphal Of course

It's not enough What do you say He's sold 100 tickets And he's like He's booking Beyonce Oh he's on a hundred tickets But the hilarious thing is He still wants this

He still wants to have it on an island The one thing that you can learn From the whole debacle As was also proved sadly By the world's funniest Island Festival in Sydney at one point It's a terrible idea of festival On Ireland because it's very expensive

You know what he should do He should have it in the desert in Nevada Nothing would go wrong With a sort of water world Series of floating The whole of Burning Man was done on inflatables That would have been fine I'm just looking at some of the details

Of the fire factory It's right It was a cheese sandwich In a foam box Was the gourmet food At one point He asked a gay employee of the firefighters to give a blowjob to a supplier. Yes, I remember that.

So the ticket holders could get water, which I think, I'm not an expert in industrial law, but particularly Bahamian industrial law, I'm pretty sure that's not allowed. Well, and I think actually homosexuality was illegal in that state. In the Bahamas. Like, it was particularly egregious. That is so fucking funny. I feel like we kind of have to go. Yep, we're doing it.

I don't know. I just feel like in his time... I just love the idea that he's boasting that he sold 100 tickets. And I've just seen a tweet from him. The first five festival to drop has sold out. And I love it. It's a hundred tickets. Like, surely you come up with some other name.

The Not a Scam Festival. The Not a Five festival. It's extraordinary. It's basically, oh well, I mean, it's been done. It's the Titanic 2. Yes. I mean, it's the Clive Palmer Titanic 2. of festivals.

Well, or it's the Titan submersible. Yes, it's the Titan, that's right. It's probably the island's going to be made out of some sort of composite material. Yeah, I presume that the travel there will be on Zeppelons. So there you go. And there's no line-up is announced. No, no, of course not. All you're doing is buying the brand.

We did not share the location. No. You're buying the brand. You're buying the chance to tell your children if you survived that you were there at the fire festival too. I can kind of see the appeal of that. Certainly versus going to Burning Man. But the one thing I'd say, Charles, is this does make Slendell look like a good festival. You know what's happening?

This is very shrewd of this guy, is he did the first drop, put them on sale while there was all these people just waiting in the desert in Nevada going, where am I going for my next festival? They're the people who bought the diggers. Well, I reckon what's going to happen is that Billy's going to reveal that the site of Fire Festival 2 is in a small area in Byron Bay in July. Splendor in the grass And the one thing that will make it worse Was it last year that Splendor was a complete raging disaster?

I think most years is very muddy Yeah no definitely last year was But the problem Last year they had to cancel the first day of it if I recall But the thing about At least you're on land With Splendor Yes

But in fairness to the Splendor and the Grass people Who would have thought That it would rain heavily In a place called the Northern Rivers So basically The moral of this story is nobody should have anything fun. Nobody should plan anything fun ever again. But that if they do, do it indoors.

You know where's a great place for a music gig? A fucking theatre with a roof that has comfortable seats, emergency exits, and most importantly, is not on a fucking island or in the middle of the desert in Nevada. If you are there, by the way, if anyone is listening and manages to get out and wants to tell us the story, we'll interview you about what it was like. A podcast at chaser.com. You send us an email. The person that we know who might have been there,

If they make it out alive, we might get them off as well. Yeah, that's a great idea. Although I think we've sort of defamed him. I'm sure all his sexually transmitted diseases have cleared up by now. Our Gehry's from Road. We are part of the Iconic Class Network. And Charles is the one to see you for that little jab, old friend. See you.