The Chaser Report - The Chaser's Official Presidential Endorsement

Episode Date: October 29, 2024

Enough is enough. Dom and Charles stand for democracy. They want the best for the American people, and they know the American people are waiting on thir endorsement. So they've finally weighed in on which candidate they support. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Chaser Report is recorded on Gatigal Land. Striving for mediocrity in a world of excellence, this is The Chaser Report. Hello and welcome to The Chaser Report with Dom and Charles. Yes, it's another new episode recorded in person. Why, we used to do it, Charles, and we're back here because you have a big announcement. Yes, I am ready to call the US elections. Goodness me. I know early voting has started and there's, I think, millions of votes have been cast.

Have you really seen enough? I've seen enough. A week before election day? Yes, because the actual election, it's a bit of a furphy, it's a bit of a distraction from what's going to unfold. Right. So the ritual of, you know, millions of people going and voting for the next president. Is it a distraction from who will be the next president?

Yeah, yeah. It's very pre-2020-4, that sort of thinking. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, that's not surprising. I'm probably out of date. So what I want to do is I don't want to just call the election, but I want to call the election minute by minute as it will unfold on election night in the US. Okay, all right.

So here we have, apparently, down to the minute, Charles's predictions for the next US election. I, you're going to have to stay with this after the ads, because this will be enjoyably... It'll be accurate. Yeah. It'll be chillingly accurate. Chillingly accurate after this. Okay, so minute by minute.

Wow. Yeah. So, and I just want to, before I get into it, say how this. episode was prompted, which is I was listening to, on Monday, there are a whole lot of rallies that Trump and Kamala Harris held, right? Yes. And in his rally, Trump had this very angry, feisty vision for America, which was that it should be strong, it should be great, that everything would be strong and great.

Strong and great. Not so great for migrants, if I'm... Oh, yeah, and that he'd get rid of criminals coming across our borders. Yeah. And the whole idea was the next four years will be the best four years ever in the history of the world, basically. Sure. Right. Which is sort of, you know, you go, oh, there's a bit of hyperbole, but it's not a bad thing to vote.

But, like, you know, if I was a voter and one of the options was the best four years ever. Right. It's not a, it's not a, I mean, it's a sort of sales pitch, right? Like, you sort of know, you sort of offset it a little bit for, oh, there's probably a little bit of hyperbole. So this has a problem. She hasn't come out and said. If you vote for me, you will get the best four years ever in the history of the world. Yes.

Because Donald Trump is good at superlatives. Everything is always a superlative with him. Actually, in contrast, Carmel's whole message was almost the exact opposite, which was that we had a, that there would be a lot of work to do. The to do list. And that work is fun, right? And good and worthwhile, and work is great. And we've got lots of work to do on America.

She has really misread the mood of the American people. The idea that American people are like, yeah, let's buckle down and nail some things and actually just, you know, roll apart sleeves and get sick in. That's not what Americans want to do. But also, if you've ever gone to America, the work conditions in America are horrible. Like two weeks leave. It's completely out of touch. Horrible.

Minimum wage. And they're enslaved in their work. The idea that you'd sort of go, and work's great, is so out of touch. And you don't do the work. You don't build the infrastructure. You don't renovate things. You don't, I mean, Donald Trump's rally was at Madison Square Garden, right? But both were, but both, yeah, but he was in Madison Square Garden.

It's awful. Oh, yeah, it's terrible. I mean, it's atmospheric, but it's falling to pieces. Oh, no, yeah. It's like. It's sort of like Acer Arena was back in 19. No, it's like it hasn't changed its 982. I couldn't believe it.

Yeah, it's sort of like. Like Donald Trump. It hasn't changed since the 80s. It's like Sydney's Central. before they upgraded it. Yes, it is. And the whole of America's like that. It's bizarrely like,

they peaked in the Reagan era and didn't want to bother changing anything. To put it in a Melbourne context, it's like Luna Park. Like Melbourne's Lunar Park. Yes, like Melbourne's Lunar Park. Yeah. Or Adelaide.

In Adelaide, it would be... Adelaide. Like Adelaide. Except for the wine centre, which is quite new. It's like Glenel. I'm being hard. I go. It's like Clareneld.

Yeah. It's like Hardorf. The whole point is, Trump's Madison Square Garden. rally. I can't remember where Kamla was doing her one from. She had one in Houston with Beyonce. I can tell you that much. But both were incredibly abstract.

Like, there was no detail. It was all just like, oh, we want to work. So if you're choosing between two abstract thought processes, which one do you want? The best four years of your life ever or tons of work. To do list on day one. Because you know what this is.

It's the immense influence of statesman philosopher Anthony Albanese. Yes, yes. Both campaigns have gone, oh, we don't need policies. We don't need plans. We just need to just be. Because that's what, Albao is just existing as Prime Minister. Yes.

There's not really an agenda or a plan. It's very Buddhist. It is. It's in the moment, at least for now. And he's in a peace. I think he's found in a peace. Yes. That's the problem.

He's in love because of the first throes of love. He's not even married yet. He's on a high. He's got a wedding coming up. He's got a lovely love nest that he's bought. So we'd probably, from the outside, we look and we go, oh, he hasn't made a decision in weeks. He hasn't done anything. But actually, he's got the invites ready.

He's booked the venue. He's picked a corsage. He's organized a new house. He's probably got chisel for the wedding band. Yes, he's organized the mortgage broker. Yeah. You know, like everything. He's done the work.

He's done the work. All right. Oh, but has he organized the ice? You know how, you know, especially if you've got an outdoor wedding. Well, it's a coast wedding. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, that ice. The party ice. Yes. Yeah, the party ice. Yeah.

Anyway, all right. So, okay, back, let's forget our boss. So you're calling the U.S. election. So the point being, yes. I just listened and just went, oh, well, there's no way Carmel can win from here. Because she's talking about effort from Labor. But also, it's so boring the whole democracy, certain. You just immediately go, I want the best four years of my life. I mean, that's the thing. John Kelly, the former Chief of Staff, General John Kelly, very respected figures, come out and said, Trump qualifies as a fascist.

Yes. And the footnote is a fascist is going to give you the best four years of your life. Well, but also. The trains will run on time, Charles. All the polls show that, you know, they want to change candidates. What greater change could there be than a fascist takeover? That's true. They haven't done that before.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, to be fair, this is something, Kamala Harris has said, you know, throughout the whole of my career, I was first, first woman, first African-American woman, first South Asian woman. Those things are important. But Donald Trump is going to be the first. It's fascist. He is second term, amazingly. In its own way, is its own form of diversity.

Really. And he is... He's a DEI candidate. He is German. Don't forget. Dromph. Dromph. Donardrumf.

The original family name before they anglicised it. And so it made me go, well, you know, Trump's going to win. But then you go, if you look at the polls, the truth is, the truth is no one knows, right? Like, you can't possibly know because they're so within the margin of era. Yeah. If you listened to the podcast last week that we recorded with David Smith and... And Chas, the Chedello, too renowned, but lesser U.S. politics experts, relative to Charles First. They did make the point it was very tight in the polls, but also that the polls are not necessarily credible.

Yeah, well, they can't really believe the numbers, so you may as well believe Charles. They're very hard to interpret. And so the point is that you've got to actually look more at how it will actually unfold on the night, because that is more of a determinant of what will happen, especially if there's going to be a fascist takeover. Like, if you're going, well, one side actually is going to jettison. and democracy anyway after they get elected, why wouldn't they do it during their election as well? You know what I meant. But, Charles, to be fair, I think both sides will. I mean, I think if Donald Trump wins, if you're going to call it for Donald Trump, I think

at that point the Democrats will give up on democracy as well. They'll give up on playing by the rules because they will have done it. They will have done all the things like, you're not supposed to have a coup, you know, you're not supposed to tell everyone you're going to be a fascist on day one and a dictator, and they still will have lost. And so why would the Democrats bother playing by the rules anymore either? So it's not just one side that's going to abandon democracy. You've obviously, you've never seen Gladiator the movie. Remember the sort of the senators who just become more. You know, like the whole story of Rome is you have these people who want to play by the room, it rules.

And then Julius Caesar comes through and just takes over. But they still, centuries, they still go on. But hang on, that's not the rules. Oh, yeah. They just sort of really livid, powerless. They'll whinge about it first centuries. Yeah, they'll just run on it. In the reign of, you know, Donald Trump the fifth.

Yeah, exactly. Junior's great-grandson when he's president for life. Yes. And he's like Nero having, you know, orgies with everyone's, Jeff Bezos's sons, you know, fifth generation. Jeffrey Epstein, so reincarnated, genetically animated body. So what we all know is that all the Democrats voters have turned out early. They've all come in early, yes.

Yeah. So basically, one of the bizarre aspects of American politics is you register your party allegiance with the government. And so as you go in to vote, not only can we see that you've voted, but we can see, you know, we can see how many Democrat registered voters have voted. Now, we don't know who they voted for, but you'd have to guess that the Democrat registered voters will generally vote for Kamala. You would think so.

Yeah. And so, and the margins are quite massive in some of the big swing states. So places like North Carolina, you're talking hundreds of thousands of more. or Democrat-registered voters turning out in pre-polling than Republicans. Same with Michigan. Same with Georgia. Like Georgia, it's like 650,000. And they're calling it the Democrat firewall, right?

Yeah. But the problem with that whole concept of thinking is if you're saying Democrat voters are the ones who vote early, right, because they believe in those forms of voting. And the Republicans don't even believe. Trump hates early voting. He hates postal voting. He hates every sort of voting. Other than on the day, queuing up.

Then the fact that you've got a firewall for on the day is a bit irrelevant because it's not adding any extra information. Like, there's not like extra Democrat voters who are also going to turn out on the day. It just means you're going to be in deficit on the day. Like all your people have turned out already. None of the medical advice contained in the Chaser report should legally be considered medical advice. The Chaser Report. Charles, didn't Donald Trump very credibly argue that the Democrats stuffed extra ballots in 2020. And that's why they cheated and stole the election.

Well, yes. And the way, and the way he argued that was because they count the people who voted on the day first. So you get this huge run-up in Republican voters. The Republican vote then just stalled because they started voting, counting all the pre-poles at about 11. And the postals. It was the postals. Yeah, because we didn't want to get COVID. Yeah. At about 11 p.m. If you believed in COVID, you voted postal last time. And suddenly it sur, the get Democrats, searched ahead. Right. And it looked like, cheating. They did because they had their votes counted, which is cheating.

Yeah. Voting against Trump is cheating. But we know, we know that that is going to happen again, right? We know that on the night, all the Democrats will have already voted and they won't be counted in the first, you know, several hours of the... Why not, by the way? Why do they not do the early vote? Why don't they count the early votes early?

That seems a bit silly. Well, they just don't. They just count the ones that are needing to be counted for them. And that's the point where Trump will go. they're stealing the election. Yes. And no, no, not only that, Trump and all the, like, you know, if you look at what's happened in the last few days, you know, all the media has started, you know, tipping their hat and kissing the ring of Trump. Like, you know, Jeff Bezos, who runs the Washington Post refuses to endorse Kamala Harris. Like, there's this whole sort of thing going on where

there's a sort of collapse of the guardrails of democracy. And what will happen minute by minute is it will basically, like Fox News will declare it by 730 that it's happened and... Or say Trump has won before they've counted the blue vote. Yes. And I know that that's just sort of saying the obvious that's, but that will matter more than last time because they've also put four years worth of effort into all these little bureaucrats and administrators who can throw sawdust into some of that thing and slow down the count of the Democrat votes more and more and more.

And as we learned in 2000, it actually doesn't matter. 2020, yeah. No, in 2000, in 2000, we go back to the Bush Gore election. It didn't matter that more people in Florida had voted for Al Gore. If you slow the vote down enough, you can just end up going, well, it should probably go to a Republican anyway. And if you slow it down enough, it will end up in the court. Yes, you go to the Supreme Court. And then they will definitely give it to it.

Who will think very carefully about all the legal reasons. and then definitely awarded Republicans. That's what the Supreme Court does. So I think, look, I think there's every chance that Trump just wins on the votes anyway, right? Because he's promising four years that will be the best in your life, whereas Carmel is promising more work, right?

Like, I think there's a fundamental problem with the actual election campaign. It's somewhat at odds. Yeah. That doesn't matter. Like, it doesn't matter who wins the actual election. What matters is Trump's definitely going to be the next president because the actual process will deliver the vote for Trump. We'll vote the decision for Trump.

But the other thing is, Charles, we have to remember that the fundamental philosophy, and this is what's in this new movie, The Apprentice, with the young Donald Trump and Roy Cohn, his mentor, played by the wonderful Jeremy Strong from Succession. You know, play Kendall Roy. The point is you never say you lost. You just never admit defeat. Donald Trump will never say he lost in 2020.

It is definitionally impossible for him to say that he will lose this election. Yes. And his supporters believe that. Yes. And the Supreme Court believes that. The Supreme Court believes that. And the election officials believe that. And so it doesn't actually matter what the votes say. Yes. Because it is theoretically impossible for about half the country. It has to be a conspiracy. It has to be vote stuff.

It has to be foreign. It would have to be, you know, voting machines. There's some reason because it is impossible that Americans could want to vote for Carmel Harris. It's definitionally impossible. Yeah. So the point that I'm getting to, though, Dom, Given that Trump's likely to just take power anyway, regardless of what the votes are, I'm thinking just in terms of our endorse for that. Oh, do we need to endorse? As a media outlet, oh, interesting.

I'm thinking perhaps the shrewd thing to do, especially as we've got that whole space contract that we want to get up to money. Space Force. To chase a Space Force. Chase a space. Chase a rocket, you know, with our self-crashing rockets. Yeah, yeah. We're taking a bit of out of the bowl.

book, actually. You don't need doors on spacecraft. And we want to get into the private military contacting space. There's lots of, there's the AI, Chaser AI that we want to roll out in the US. All those things are going to require, we're going to require Chasebook. We're going to require a whole lot of government support. And I'm just thinking, we should probably endorse somebody. And I'm thinking maybe just like read the wind.

You know what I'm saying? Charles, I think we should do the principal thing. The thing that backs democracy. No, that is right. The brave thing to do, because there's a lot on the line in this US election. It's not just for the US. No, we should do the right thing. We should do the right thing.

Something we can be proud of. Something we can tell our grandchildren, what did you do in the election in 2020. You know, when democracy was threatened, what did you do? On a global basis. When the man's former chief of staff has come out and said, he is a fascist. Yes, yes. We shouldn't endorse anybody. Yeah, let's not take a position.

Let's sit on the fence. Just out of principle. Yes. Because also, Charles, it would be an interference in the election. And this is what the Washington Post has been arguing, is that back in the day they didn't use to do it. Because they didn't want to interfere in the election. Well, before 1976, the Chaser never endorsed.

No, we never did. No. They were better days. Fewer people shouted at us back then. Yes. So I think, yeah, I agree. Let's do that. And so does that mean we say something like, you know, democracy will be the winner, except

it won't? Well, I just think democracy dies in darkness. But, you know, maybe darkness isn't a. a bad thing. And death, you know, death is its own. Democracy dies in darkness, but it's very good for mushrooms. Yes. It's right. It's good for fungi. Vampires, also. Yeah. It depends what your value system is. We wouldn't want to influence, we've got American listeners, Charles. We know we do.

We know we do. We don't want to interfere by pointing out the stakes in the election or that the very future of the world is on the line. Just do what you do, which will mean Donald Trump will win because Kamala Harris acknowledges the possibility. that she'll lose the election. And that's loser talk. She's done. She's toast. But also, look, even if she loses,

she can still do all that work that she wants. Actually, that's true. They should make a deal. Yeah. The deal should be that Donald Trump wins the election. And Kamala still turns up to do the work. Yes. They'll both be happy.

We're part of the Aconiclass Network. Catch you next time.